Here he is again; DONOVAN. The unforgiving, cynical, potty mouthed agony uncle. No one knows why he doesn’t like humanity, maybe someone sneezed pure evil on him as a child.

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Dear DONOVAN,

My boyfriend and I haven’t even kissed because we want to be pure, but we talk dirty online. Is what were doing a sin?

Kelly, Bridgend

First of all Kelly, I have to stress that I refused to reply to this message twice! But because the only other question I got sent this week was “How far is too far?” which nearly gave me a stroke out of sheer anger at the individual who sent! it, and the fact that if I didn’t have a ‘Dear DONOVAN’ published this week I wouldn’t get paid! I had no choice. (Lol, who’s paying you?! Can they pay me too? – Editor)

So to answer your question you absolute Ganja flap!! (Is that some sort of oat and syrup based space cake? – Editor)

Yes it is a Sin being a C*CK TEASE! You are a disgrace to all women everywhere.

Cut it out now little Miss fridged!

He is probably cheating on you now, anyway. I don’t blame the boy to be honest.

You shall not receive a DONOVAN mug. Instead you get a T-shirt saying “Not even Jesus made me come”.

If your over 16 and completely clean, send me your MSN add.

PS

Pull any of that crap with me and ill find you. B*tch!