Dear Zack

I cannot express in words how much you mean to me. I am a comic book fan (geek) and forever will be. My love for them almost outweighs my love for Films. But when the two come together to make sweet, tender, passionate love then my experience is so joyful that I cannot contain my adoration for those who create the genius and sheer poetry of such masterpieces.  As I sit here listening to the dulcet tones of Van Morrison telling me how fantabulous the night is all I can think of is how I wish I can watch Watchmen once again. While I don’t want to make Love to you Zack, let’s face it you’re no Ben Affleck, I do want to make creative love to your genius. Some people, like Tim Burton, don’t respect the source material when they make comic book movies but you? You make my geeky dreams come true and take panels from the page and make them come to life. I’ve had a crush on you ever since 300. Your adaptation of the Frank Miller novel I love so much almost made me cry. Almost – I’m still a dude. But as sweeping and grand as 300 is my full on man crush on your creativity and my deep burning passion for your vision can be put down to Watchmen.

Sure you have your critics. Like you took the Giant Squid and didn’t use it. Hey sshh don’t listen to them they just don’t understand that after Jon Peters and the giant Spider idea for Superman Lives that would have been stupid. You don’t have to explain why people are saying the movie tanked in America in its second weekend at the box office. No. You don’t have to explain to people why it’s not doing the expected business. True art doesn’t have to justify itself Zack.  Zack just remember you made an amazing film and that I think you’re great. You’re a huge big time director now!

But…….I have something to tell you. There’s someone else. I know I said we’d be together forever but as much as I love Watchmen. As much as I love 300. As much as there awesomeness makes me a happy man Zack I need to confess that you are merely a cinematic fling. A graphic affair if you will. I’m sorry that you can never be my own true love.  That will always be Bryan Singer. I will always love X-Men 2 more than any other comic book film ever made. Oh sure it’s not as amazingly accurate as your films. It doesn’t have bone crunching action like your films or have trailer lines that make me want to wet myself in geeky excitement at their mere mention. After all THIS IS SPARTA!

But X-Men 2 will forever be me one, true love.  The opening scene will always be the moment my heart was stolen by Bryan Singer. Sure it’s not perfect but what relationship is? I can even forgive him Superman Returns for the sheer fantabulous nature of the opening to X-Men 2. The music. Nightcrawler. The action. The drama. I’m sorry but the times may be a changing but not in my world of comic book love. X-Men 2 will forever be my love. Watchmen will forever be my lust.

Can’t you be happy with second place in my heart? I love you more than Nolan! I do I really do! Nolan could never steel my heart like you Zack. The way you direct makes me want you to direct me. Well not really but it makes me want to direct so that works right? The Dark Knight makes me happy. It’s great. But you make me really happy. Just not X-Men 2 happy! Zack believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you. My love for you is firm and true. But when it’s all said and done and the curtain falls and the credits role all I am left with is the faint and subtle sense that I will forever love Singer more.

Zack you rock. You kick so many other comic directors’ ass.  But you will forever live in the shadow of my love for Bryan Singer. Sorry. You may shout out Love me more than Singer but I’ll whisper…..no

In sheer awe

The Fan Boy
( Written by Richard Wright )