Well, we didn’t get there again. Not only did Wales fail to get even close to the finals, but not a single Celtic nation will be at  the first World Cup to be held in Africa. Nice one, assholes.

But I’m used to it and…well, see…I do love the World Cup, y’know. I really do. I know what you’re thinking: “Ceri? That’s Welsh, innit? Why the hell would YOU enjoy the World Cup? Wales haven’t been in it since the 50’s!” well, I assume that’s what you’re thinking because the rest of the piece hinges on it.

Firstly, SHUT UP I KNOW! I’m more a rugby fan anyway.

Secondly, being an impartial viewer really does heighten my enjoyment of the tournament! No, seriously!  All you flag of St. George waving, lager swilling Eng-er-landers can happily cheer along your team but the other games tend to be a formality to watch. I’ve heard many a glib utterance of (things along the lines of) – “Ooh look, Portugal’s out” from some England fan or another. Oh Yeah? That’s HUGE, you pillock!

Every team is a possible villain or hero for me! I do usually pick a team before the tournament commences, but it invariably changes after the group stages. (Last time I was all “Yeah! Go Ireland!” and was chanting “Forza Azzuri” by the end…I was supporting Italy, asshole.)

This year, Argentina is my team. Partly due to the small yet significant Welsh-speaking population living in Patagonia. Partly due to my 3rd favourite sporting moment being Maradonna’s “Hand  of God” ;-)

(after Gareth Edward’s try for the Barbarians vs New Zealand and Wales’ 2005 Six Nations Grand Slam.)

But my backing of the Argies is mainly due to Lionel Messi. God this guy is crazy-style awesome.

So, what the fuck do you want now? My tip to win? Easy, it’s the same as everyone else’s. Spain. What? Why are you still staring at the screen? What do you expect? Oh! Shit, you want me to say good luck? As in, to England! Ugh. Well….<exhales>….here goes.

Good luck…um…chaps…lads…fellas…uh…is that ok? Cool.

Oh and before I forget, if DO you win, don’t spend the next 50 years gloating. K?

Shit, I’m going to regret wishing you lot good luck now…