Dear Donovan

Who was your first kiss and what was her name

Darren, Ipswich

Well, Darren Ipswich, if that is infact your real name, and not one of the editors taking pity on the fact no one askes me questions anymore and have written the most pathetic Miss Magazine style question aimed at the likes of Chico and the Eyebrow-With-Legs from Busted!

I will humor you, girls and answer it anyway

A girl called Jenny, I was 4 she was 6…We tongued each other in the school yard at my primary school. Ill be honest she was minging.

Looking back there were at least three others who were better looking playing hopscotch.

Happy??

Expected more of an answer?….Well tough.

I would like to bring to your attention the fact there were Siamese twins in my primary school!…should have really gone for one of ’em! Practically a threesome!

Fact- an upside to being a Siamese twin is that you never have to worry over who’s gonna be your partner on school trips.

That’s me done.

Off to watch the three amigos.

DONOVAN