Monthly Archives: September 2012

CRUSHING BLOWS release self-titled EP ‘Crushing Blows’ Out 12 November

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Kind of punky, kind of electro, a little bit thrash, a little bit pop. Crushing Blows may not be easy to describe but they are definitely worth your time to catch live.” – John Robb, Louder Than War

 

Crushing Blows are a two-piece, noise pop band from Derbyshire who have drawn comparisons to Battles, Broken Social Scene and Arcade Fire. Despite their broad influences (My Bloody Valentine, Talking Heads, Neil Young, Pixies) the band have a developed a sound that is both extremely distinctive and exceptional.

Since forming in 2010, Crushing Blows have been championed by Tom Robinson, Steve Lamacq and Huw Stephens (who put them on at The Social) and had airplay from BBC 6 Music, Radio 1 & BBC Introducing. They have also played festivals such as Y Not, T in the Park & Liverpool Sound City and supported Cerebal Ballzy, D/R/U/G/S & The Xcerts to name but a few.

The new EP is due for release on 12th November through the band’s own label, Super Heavy Weight Records. It was recorded and mixed by Jim Cork (Crash of Rhinos) and the title track was made ‘Track of the Week’ by Simon Raymonde (Bella Union) on his Amazing Radio show.

Crushing Blows are; Andrew Foster – Drums / Vocals / Keyboard and Chris Jones – Guitar / Vocals.

 

 

TOUR DATES

 

Fri 19th October – Swn Festival, Cardiff

Sat 20th Oct – Carefully Planned Festival, Manchester (Matinee show)

Sat 20th October – The Shipping Forecast, Liverpool w/ Bear Cavalry

Sun 21st October – The Library, Leeds w/ Metz

Mon 22nd October – TBC

Tues 23rd October – The Old Blue Last, London w/ Bear Cavalry

Wed 24th October – The Firebug, Leicester

Thurs 25th October – JT Soar, Nottingham

Fri 26th Oct – TBC

Sat 27th October – The Cavern, Exeter

 

Track List:

1.       The People You Will Never Meet

2.        I Dream of Becoming A Girl

3.        Love is Dangerous

4.        No Halcyon

Breast Movement Changes As We Age

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Miss Debbie Risius of the Research Group in Breast Health


Older women are less likely to experience vertical breast bounce when exercising than younger women, according to the surprise results of a study at the University of Portsmouth.

The study, the first to study breast movement in women aged from 45 to 65, also measured breast ptosis (sag) but found that the amount of sag did not have any bearing on the amount of breast movement.

Miss Debbie Risius, of the Research Group in Breast Health has presented her findings at the Royal Society of Medicine’s Helal and Harries prize meeting.

Miss Risius said: “I was surprised by these results which clearly show the more mature breast moves in a completely different way to a younger breast.

“The findings may indicate a need for a sports bra to be designed specifically for mature women.

“Specially designed bras may help support mature breasts more effectively and also encourage older women to exercise more regularly. Our earlier studies show older women are less likely to own a sports bra and less likely to take part in energetic exercise than young women.“

Miss Risius’s study looked at movement in the breast when subjects walked bare breasted on a treadmill for two minutes. Miss Risius initially thought that older women would experience more breast movement, and therefore associated breast pain as a result of exercising, than younger women.

However the study actually found that older women experience less vertical movement than younger women. Miss Risius suggests this is due to older breast tissue being less elastic, and therefore having less bounce than younger tissue.

Miss Risius said: “If you imagine an elastic band, when it is new it is very springy and flexible, and when it is stretched it bounces back with a lot of energy. An older elastic band is less flexible, and is not as springy when it is stretched. This is similar to the differences between younger and older breast tissue.”

Twelve participants aged between 45 and 65 years were compared with twelve women aged between 18 and 25 years. All were a size 34D.

The University of Portsmouth has been studying breast biomechanics since 2005. This new research contributes to a large existing body of work carried out by the Research Group in Breast Health.

Previous research has found that breasts bounce to maximum levels of 21 cm during exercise. During walking, a woman’s breasts move the same amount in and out, up and down and from side to side (33 per cent in each direction). But when a woman starts to jog or run movement is split: 51 per cent of movement is up and down; 22 per cent side to side and 27 per cent in and out. The overall pattern of the movement is a figure of eight. It is estimated that more than 50 per cent of women experience breast pain when exercising.

 

Interview with Zawe Ashton of Fresh Meat

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Zawe Ashton can totally identify with her character Vod’s sense of style in Fresh Meat because she has been there and done it herself.

“It’s not even like I have outfits in mind for Vod – I have influences in mind. So after last year instead of listening to so much riot girl punk, Vod is maybe going into a more androgynous place where she is playing with gender and masculinity and at the same time her musical influences are extending to discovering more Bowie or New Romantic post punk music.

“She’s not that self-conscious, she draws so much from her surroundings and is so perceptive that anything that seems vaguely anti-establishment she can really chime with and I can identify with that because that is exactly what happened to me when I was studying in Manchester. Being in a smaller environment with people from so many different backgrounds I changed on a daily basis. One day you’d be having an existentialist conversation with a random in a bar then someone would say ‘do you want to get pissed and dance all night to 80s music’. And I’d be like ‘Yeah’. And because Vod is a yes woman she will say yes to all of that and have all these different influences and experiences. She’ll never miss out. Never regret something she didn’t do…I totally did that at uni after I broke up with my first boyfriend, who of course was a musician. I thought, “Right I am going to have a summer of saying yes to everything.” Which I did.

“This job is such a touch! It is so collaborative but you can also trust every single department to just be on it. If I send June, our costume designer, a picture of Prince and say this is our touchstone for this series – the next thing you know I’m wearing a ruffle shirt, a bolero jacket and my hair’s sticking up and it’s Prince. She runs with it, she is so inventive.”

So how has Vod changed since last term?

Explains Zawe: “This series Vod is exploring the friendships she’s made with these people. What is interesting is having new characters come in and seeing Vod’s reaction – she doesn’t like it at all. She is fiercely protective over the whole group. Vod takes on a hell of a lot more than she lets on and the fact that she has lived with these people and let them in over the course of a term has been a big deal. Seeing her relationship with other characters deepen, especially with JP and Josie, has been really satisfying. Also the episode where she falls in what she thinks is love was really funny because it’s Vod opening up even more to different experiences.

“This season we do see her slightly more vulnerable side but she is also almost like a narrator in a way, she clocks absolutely everything – nothing happens in the house without her knowing about it.

“She’s really caring but at the same time she’s sort of weirdly indestructible. She has such a big heart but is also one of those amazing people who can drink far too much and take too many drugs – like you might say to Iggy Pop ‘you’ve put yourself in some bad situations but you seem to have come through them alright. Still rolling on…’

Also because she is so blunt about things I think she has got a really good grip on what life is. If people die that is just something that happens and you move on. Who knows, maybe aged 40 she’ll have a huge emotional breakdown but for now she’s just a character who has very little subtext, enjoys a good time, has time for people but also insight and will share that. She is her own little thing.”

But Vod also has a few money worries this term and needs to find a job…

“Starting work as a chamber maid is Vod’s idea of hell – that is working for the man. But she is also really good at it. She is massively creative and hard-working but she doesn’t fit into a system and I really identify with that – your work ethic not being that of an institution or a machine. She could probably be great at anything she put her hand to, she’s not limited. But you wouldn’t get out of it what you think… She is definitely born out of her time, she is really modern but at same time there is something sort of old school and punk about her.”

And what are Zawe’s stand-out moments of this series? “I love doing the scenes where we are all together. Those big group scenes are beasts – seriously we are there all day – but they are so satisfying. What is so nice is that you can have reactions off of people, even if you are not saying anything I get an awful lot out of those scenes. The reaction shots are my favourite bits. And exploring the physical proximity of each other – giving this real sense of being in a student house.

Talking of her eclectic mix of fans, Zawe says: “Some people are really drawn in by the hard-living side of Vod and are watching the show thinking ‘that’s someone really good on a night out’. Unfortunately I’m not that person anymore. It is the realisation that I can’t go clubbing all night; I have a job and I’m tired. On the flip side I get lots of lovely mature men and women in their 50s and 60s coming over and saying how nostalgic the whole show feels and how much they like the character because they knew someone like that, so I get both ends of the spectrum. Some lovely fans on twitter made t shirts saying Keep Calm and Trust in the Vod… in that font with a little picture of me. That is definitely the nicest thing that has happened.”

Zawe is currently filming Case Histories for the BBC. She also has another project in the pipeline. “I’ve written a short film for Greg (McHugh). Greg is a superstar, one of the best actors out there working – the characters he creates on screen are superb. I want to direct that. To have a production company and be working out of that writing, directing and acting and hiring teams of people I know will do a good job would be amazing; a dream come true.”

 

Fresh Meat returns to Channel 4 on Tuesday 9th October at 10pm.

Heat Holders Thermal Socks | Review

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Few things in life are worse than having cold feet. I have been known to wear three pair of socks in winter. When I got sent some Heat Holders to review the first thing I did was put my hand inside. They felt lovely and furry.

Autumn has arrived with a cold snap and these socks have really been put to the test. The press release says, “Heat Holders are seven times warmer than normal cotton socks and are designed to keep toes toasty warm in any weather. As far as is known, and has ever been tested, these socks are the warmest thermal socks in the world.”, but are these bold words?

I put these socks on and they are incredibly comfortable. They feel very cushiony and they keep my feet toasty. They keep your feet warm and are so thick and comfortable that I now wear them as slippers around the house. I love them and I am definitely converted. I will definitely be buying more of these socks.

Heat Holders are available in a range of sizes for men, women and children

 www.heatholders.com

Twitter: @HeatHolderSocks
www.facebook.com/heatholders

 

Top 3 Advantages of Metal Finishing for Your Business

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Now, before you start reading this in the interest that you’ll find out how metal finishing can add value to your marketing, HR or IT business, I want to quickly confess that I’m only reaching out to those fellows predominantly involved with the construction and engineering trade.

For those of you who work in these industries, you’ll know that the heavy-duty tools, machinery and appliances you use to carry out vital day-to-day jobs need to be able to stand the test of time. Repairs can be a costly band-aid, and if structure failure as a result of cheaper material choices occurs, this poses a public safety risk, not to mention a risk to the safety of your workers. With online OSHA 10 and key occupational training, and the adoption of solid metal finishing for your project, you ensure your project uses the safest industry-standard materials on the market.

Metal finishing relates to the process of deposition, application or treatment of a metallic coating onto a product in order to enhance its appearance, function or performance. Due to its ability to be applied to a wide range of surfaces including steel, aluminium, copper and crass, metal finishing holds the ability to add value to any construction business.

How, exactly? Well, here a 3 top reasons why metal finishing could help to benefit your business:

1. Improve Appearances

Metal finishing can be accomplished through a variety of techniques; powder coating, silk screening, anodizing, e-coating and plating are just to name a few. However, whichever way your finish is achieved, you can be assured that the most notable advantage it’ll provide to your product is the improvement to its overall aesthetics.

It can help to remove sharp edges, smooth surfaces and clean the surface to produce a textured, matte or glossy finish. Aside from also contributing to removing burrs and other surface flaws that may be present on the surface of your product, it can modify decorative options such as the application of colour, metal polishing, glass beading and custom metal plating.

By doing so, you can ensure you’re providing your customers and clients with the highest quality products, should they demand those with greater decorative appearance.

2. Greater Resistance

By overlaying your products in a protected metal finish, the most notable advantage of the process is its ability to make them last a lot longer. If left untreated, metals can wear and disintegrate much quicker than those that are treated.

The metal finishing coating system offers a low coefficient of friction with great abrasion resistance and durability towards corrosion, chemical and tarnish wear. So whether your business uses hardwearing operative machinery, or whether you manufacture building materials for consumers, you can ensure your product will last whatever it’s purpose, as well as however and wherever it’s used.

3. Ease of Cleaning

Part of preserving a well-utilised product/machine/tool lies in the maintenance and cleaning of it.

Metal finishing significantly reduces product contamination and adhesion due to the microscopic smoothness when applied to the surface. This finish also ensures the surface is well maintained and protected.

On the other hand, metal finishing a product can also significantly reduce the time spent cleaning it. On previously non-coated materials, considerable time and care has to be spent to ensure chemicals and procedures don’t contribute to the wearing and rusting of the product. However, with metal finishing, items can be power-washed or hydro-blasted with ease. Companies that have already adopted the use of metal finishing have reported a reduction in cleaning time of more than 50%; meaning that your workforce can spend that previously used time on more vital and beneficial tasks for your business…

This article was written by Ella Mason, an experienced freelance writer. Ella specialises in providing informative and engaging advice to businesses.

London 2012: The Volunteer Games. The Legacy Lives on

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While most of us were happy to just sit back and watch the games photographer Felix Kunze had something else in mind. A hugely ambitious project to photograph the London 2012 Volunteers. Kunze’s managed this with aplomb and even caught the attention of The Guardian who paised it saying:

“A stunning portfolio of portraits in which he sought to illustrate the spirit of the men and women he calls “heroes of London 2012.”

Roy Greenslade – The Guardian The London 2012 Volunteers Portrait Project

We have got the lowdown on this impressive project by Felix in his own words.

“My London 2012 Volunteers project has become a microcosm of the Olympic experience. It has been garnering all sorts of attention online and has turned into a place for volunteers to connect. Messages like ‘Hey, we met on the train, I want to stay in touch’ are the kind of interaction I had hoped for.

The project has captured the imagination. It is remind people of the pride, hard work and enthusiastic collaboration that led to the games being dubbed ‘The Volunteer Games’. You need only look at the comments on the album and the photos on facebook: www.bit.ly/London2012Volunteers

Photographically, the project resulted from me solving something fairly negative:

I had turned down various assignments to block out my schedule to be in London during these games. I’ve followed the Olympics with growing enthusiasm since the Barcelona games in ’92. When London won the bid, I couldn’t believe it. 7 years of build up, 5 weeks of intense action and I still can’t believe the games were in my home city. The idea of it still makes me emotional.

When I cleared my schedule at the behest of my assignment editors at Getty Images, I was excited to be involved in some official way. I envisioned shoots for the sponsors, events with the athletes, even things only vaguely related to the Olympics. As I’m not a sports shooter, I wasn’t going to be covering any of the main events at the venues; I knew accreditations were tight. What I wasn’t prepared for was the absolute dearth of assignments. Getty had the same experience as the shops and restaurants of central London. Lots of buzz, but no visitors. Lots of buzz, but no assignments. It was heart-breaking, devastating, depressing even. Add to that the fact that I didn’t get any of the tickets I had applied for, I was in a storm of regret and disappointment. The fear of missing out.

Then a bout of inspiration changed it all. I managed to get tickets for the Women’s Volleyball at Earls Court at the last minute. It was great to watch the game, but what was even greater was the Games Makers who welcomed us with smiles, helped in every way, shared our dismay at not being able to get more tickets. To me they are the stars of the games. I know lots of people felt the same.

On my morning run the day after Earls Court, the idea came to me to do memento portraits of the volunteers. I wanted them to have something they could take away from the games, something they would be able to savour in 10, 20 or 30 years.I knew from the outset that I wanted to take them out of the venues they were working in. I wanted to give equal billing to those stationed directing people over a bridge to those driving the top dignitaries. Lots of people were taking pictures of volunteers, I wanted to do something different.

A couple of challenges came to mind right away:

– I couldn’t spend much time with each volunteer. Their job is to make the Olympics run smoothly, not to be photographed.
– We needed a portable setup that had no permanence, lest we fall foul of local laws regarding business on sidewalks. We also didn’t have accreditation. We had to find a place away from the venues that was swarming with volunteers.
– We solved all of this by using a setup comprised of some black foamboard, 1 simple light. We used a fairly standard ‘strobe-over-daylight’ method to balance the natural and artificial light and I needed a minimum of three assistants every day to make it work. One for the backdrop, one for the light and one to get each person’s details and have them sign a release form on my iPad.”

Games Maker facts:

– More than 240,000 applicants, of which only 70,000 became Game Makers after an interview process and training
– Over 2000 16-18 year olds were game makers during these games.
– Uniforms for the team of Game Makers, staff, officials and contracts required 765.92 miles of fabric, 359.37 miles of thread, 730,610 buttons and 1,069,034 zips. That’s a lot of stitching!
– Most applied over 2 years before the start of the Olympics
– McDonalds is the official partner for the Game Maker program and used their infrastructure to help attract, select and train the volunteers
– They delivered around 8 million volunteer hours to make the games run smoothly

“For the Olympics I photographed over 300 portraits.

 

We heard some amazing stories. The kind of stories that made me foam at the mouth with jealousy – A lot of the Game Makers I photographed were drivers, some drove the North Koreans, some drove family members. Not all of them had ‘All’ passes, but the ones that did were telling me stories of watching the athletics within reach of the Cauldron while their clients attend the stadium, many of them met athletes, many of them met dignitaries, many of them struck up amazing friendships. Many had come from afar, put a lot on the line to make the games work. It’s been inspiring.

 

The Paralympics:

 

After the Olympics I went and spent a couple of days in the sun. On the Eurostar to Paris, I received a phone call from Mr Matt Hatt who was working for the London Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games (LOCOG) who asked if I could photograph the volunteer wrap party. I couldn’t but Matthew Richards, one of my volunteer assistants, jumped in.

Mr Hatt then asked if I wanted to come into the Olympic Park during the Paralympics. We agreed that Matthew Richards should be my assistant, having slaved away at the wrap party. We arranged accreditation and we spent close to a week in the Olympic Park during the Paralympics. We shot 350 more portraits. This time with support in the form of a Lastolite mobile backdrop which was a godsend, it made my setup mobile and easy to use. I was able to put all the equipment down at the Fleet Depot inside the park, no need for 3 assistants.

 

We snuck into the Arcelor Mittal Orbit and watched the women’s 100m final from the viewing platform. We cruised around the park on BMWs über-cool electric bicycles, got so close to the action that we were bombarded by fireworks shrapnel but had the most incredible vista views of the final night’s celebration. We even got driven home by a Games Maker in an official vehicle – Games Lanes and a behind the scenes car tour of the park.

 

On a personal level, the project couldn’t have worked out better for me. I have trouble finding the words to sum up my experience. The Olympic Games are the greatest show on earth. I was a part of it. I did portraiture, I did what I loved. It means so much, it made my year. I did it for free, I didn’t make a dime, I turned down paid work. It was worth it.”

Borderlands 2 Game Review

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Software developers Gearbox have brought Borderlands back to consoles and PC’s in a rage of gunfire, explosions and… erm…cocky one liners…YES the eagerly awaited Borderlands 2 is finally here with more co-op action than you would see if you typed a couple of naughty words into your Google search box, but has the wait been worth it?

I have to be completely honest – I was never a real fan of the original Borderlands game. I loved the cell shaded graphics, the vast landscapes, the let’s get a bigger and bigger gun ideology but the title never really pushed my buttons. I don’t know whether that was due to the bad timing in terms of the release of the game (at that time we were living in a market saturated with FPS – that’s First Person Shooters to anyone who hasn’t got their geek diploma) or whether that was down to so many other games delivering more in terms of playability, explosions and remarkable set pieces (Call of Duty, Battlefield – yes Im talking about you).

Borderlands 2 delivers on all these levels and brings more to the table. But, and it’s a big BUT is up against the same competition as last time. Granted they pushed for a slightly earlier release this time round BUT Dishonoured, Medal of Honour and Black Ops 2 are just around the corner, and these are highly established titles – they had better bring the noise.

First of all for those new to the game it is only prudent to explain what Borderlands 2 actually is; it’s an open world shooter. Think of your role as a space-cowboy / mercenary – You are a good guy / girl but you use bad methods – well, erm…any method to get the job done. Like the first game it’s a FPS and the action is still set on the planet Pandora, however this time there is a much more serious over-arching plot. Pandora you see is in the grip of some kind of war between a dark business entity known at the Hyperion Corporation and a rag-tag band of freedom fighters. Hyperion’s leading bad guy is a character called Handsome Jack, who has taken it upon himself to cleanse the planet of any non-Hyperion beings – pretty radical eh? Once you choose your character you join up with the rebel movement – led by the four characters from the original game. Jack intends on unleashing some sort of WMD upon the planet and it is down to you and your rag-tag team to bring some kind of order to the chaos.

Like the first Borderlands, players have a choice of four character classes to pick from. There’s Salvador, the Gunzerker, a raging slab of muscle and testosterone whose special powers is dual-wielding weapons. There’s Maya, the Siren, who is able to project a forcefield around enemies and drag them out of cover. There’s Axton, the Commando, who can deploy a machine-gun turret  and finally, there’s Zero, the assassin, whose powers involve turning invisible in order to slide up close to enemies and then dismembering them with a katana.

Your main base of operations is in a hub town called Sanctuary. Like most open world games you have the main mission and then side quests which operate to give you more experience or open up greater weapons and advanced options. When you are not tackling side quests or the main missions you are free to explore Pandora, a planet vast and varied enough to clock up bountiful gaming hours. There is just enough distinctly themed caves, regions and cities each with their own atmosphere and day-to-night cycle to keep the gaming fresh and un-repetitive. I found this iteration of Pandora to be much more eye catching than its predecessor and owing to the various bonuses I found It’s immediately much more rewarding to explore in every sense. In no time at all the hours can rack up and they believe me they do.

Combat hasn’t changed one bit since its predecessor; ‘hey, see that big monster type thing? Avoid its attacks – right now…Good, very good…o.k rain down attacks on the beast until it explodes and pick up all the rewards – now use the rewards to upgrade…upgrading means a bigger gun stupid…now go find some more monster things!’. Get the picture? Borderlands 2 is a shooter pure and simple. It is no different to any other shooter except that it has cell shaded graphics and the characters dont give a damn.

However that is not to say that this is a bad game, indeed its quite the opposite, Borderlands 2 is definitely an improvement on its predecessor. The characters seem more three dimensional this time round and you can talk to nearly most of the characters in the game and the voice acting is spot on. Gearbox went out of their way to ensure the game can be as non-linear as possible should you choose to play it that way. True, there are the usual fetch quests, repair quests, and chasing down bandit caravans for scrap metal, but in the midst of the basic staple diet there are also some niceties such a pizza delivery mission involving some sewer-dwelling ninjas or a quest to help Moxxi get even with an ex-boyfriend. I think its scenes like these that say it all about Borderlands 2. It is full of memorable moments and characters and not to mention dry crass jokes that came across like a mix of lollypop chainsaw and south park.

The real fun though happens when you team up with your friends online. Do that and Borderlands 2 becomes far more of an interesting and fun game. What was once an irritating journey from A to B becomes a kill them all road trip with your pals, getting into a four seater buggy and going out with the intention of getting into as many scrapes and distractions as possible. A 20-minute romp for Billy ‘no mates’ is quickly transformed into an hour-long epic after a night at the pub full of the sorts of stories you just won’t stop talking about.

O.k so onto the verdict –

I do think Borderlands 2 is a great game but not an ‘all out fantastic must buy’; the reason? Well, it’s not something that you won’t have or will play anywhere else – unless you are scratching your neck for your next fix of Modern Warfare or Battlefield, genuinely have too much time on your hands or really have a spare £40 burning a hole in your pocket I would say hold out just a little bit longer as some real gems are just over the horizon and when they come out the price of this will drop like a stone.

Having said that though this game is definitely fun and by no means a crap game – just a bit more of an acquired taste. If you are a fan of the original game, you should rejoice, this game brings more of what you enjoyed in the first game and can be a real treat.

8.5 / 10

Why men aren’t like frogs, and dating isn’t a numbers game

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By Jenni Trent Hughes. Relationship Expert at eHarmony.co.uk

 

 

There are so many myths out there about love and dating that when I talk to both singles and couples, I’m always amazed by the power these old sayings wield over us. A phrase that’s been passed on by a parent or trusted friend is often taken as gospel. And the one such myth I hear trotted out the most is that you have to kiss a rather depressing amount of frogs before you find a prince.

 

We’re certainly lucky to live in a world full of options. From takeaway coffee to sandwiches or TV channels, we’re so spoilt for choice it’s easy to think quantity is a good thing when it comes to dating too. That there’s a cornucopia of men out there, and if we dine out with enough of them we’ll hit upon that perfect needle in the haystack.

 

But as Plato very wisely said: “a good decision is based on knowledge, not on numbers”. If we know a bit about what we’re looking for then we won’t waste lots of time and energy on those so-called frogs. Here are my thoughts on dating myths I think are at best a bit silly and at worse damaging to our self-esteem and chance of finding real love:

 

“You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince”. The majority of women I meet with that attitude tend to wander the streets aimlessly kissing a heck of a lot of undesirables.  In many instances their frogs turn into lizards but almost never a prince. A prince is born a prince; he is not born a frog. So make sure you kiss princes with potential, not frogs, and if a frog should come along disguised as a prince, then learn from the experience ready for the next time.

 

“Dating is just a numbers game…”

Numbers games rely on chance. Would that then mean that finding love should be compared to roulette or poker? I think we can agree that all of those are tremendously risky activities over which you have and little control over the outcome. The idea that the more people you date the more chance you have in succeeding is misleading; laying a few pounds on which horse wins a race won’t make too much difference in your life if it goes wrong. However an overly cavalier attitude towards dating will provide less than stellar results. It’s about quality not quantity; dates with people that you have instant chemistry with, not endless dates with people because you ‘might as well’.  While it shouldn’t be approached with the precision of a military campaign it deserves more respect and attention than thinking of it as a game or a gamble.

 

“There are plenty more fish in the sea.”

We’ve most likely all heard this one before, delivered as good news from well-meaning friends when we’re emerging from a break-up or trying to get over someone. Though meant as a positive, it does seem to suggest that there are so many people out there that it’s easy to move swiftly on to the next ‘fish’. In fact, break ups or disappointments take time to get over, so don’t let yourself be rushed. Reflect on what’s best for you, and what you can learn from your relationship. Then, when the time comes to return to the dating scene, you’ll be able to use this knowledge to your advantage.

 

“Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the others already have ‘Mother & Child’ painted on them” Absolute nonsense. This sort of self-defeatist attitude means that you are crying over the end of the movie before you’ve even bought your ticket. There are just as many wonderful available men out there as there are women. You just need to know where to look and probably even more importantly how to look.

 

“I can’t go on any more bad dates. I would rather be home alone than out with some guy who sells socks on the internet” Never give up. Your next date might turn out be your last ‘date’ because he might be The One. Don’t stop dating, just start dating differently. Don’t go out on any old date just because you’ve been asked. Accept or initiate dates only when you genuinely believe there is an opportunity for an enjoyable time. If you think there is little or no chance that you will have a good date then don’t go in the first place, what’s the point? Find the middle ground where you’re giving a person a chance just be sure they’re worth it in the first place.

 

We should never stop sharing beliefs and thoughts with our friends as we help them along that road, but let’s just make sure these are helpful and positive pearls of wisdom that will keep us enthused and optimistic on that journey.