.Had a crazy week with lots of calls and arrangements for projects. Had around three chances to get an overheard as I bustled around London. But finally grabbed one in the back end of Holborn. Feeling faint after an incredibly early start I dived into a great café and had a very late breakfast. I sat on a long table and two builders with cropped hair and hi vis jackets sat around three seats away. I seem to be getting a sixth sense as to when I’m going to find a perfect conversation for this column. I wrote the following on my free Metro (on an advert for luxury flats which was conveniently white) But just before I start here’s my brief phone overheard – Outside Baker Street standing next to the Sherlock Holmes statue. Young Tourist taking picture “Hey Jorge move closer to the Bruce Wayne statue its cool eh?” Education is a wonderful thing.

However my breakfast café conversation – the two builders. After having some banter with the waitress the first guy turns back to his colleague – Builder 1: “Yeah the jobs going alright but Debs at the office thinks it’ll run into February at this rate and they’re screaming to get it finished so we can start the Cross rail stuff” (Suddenly his phone rang and he answers in a very friendly way ) “Hang on mate. Yeah. Oh yeah hi Stewart. No the gear under the black tarpaulin is the control switches. For the beam ends. Yeah mate. Put em back in our stores will you. Yeah our stores. Great mate. Really appreciate it. Nice one mate. Thanks a lot. Right bye”. Sharply turns phone off and turns to Builder 2: (His smile instantly vanished and his face was scowling) “I fucking hate him” Builder 2: “Who?” Builder 1: “That Stewart. I fucking hate him the c***. He’s not right I tell you. There’s something wrong about him. Weird. Creepy you know?” Builder 2: (sipping and blowing on his tea) ” Seems alright to me. Good worker” Builder 1: (vehemently) “No mate check him out he’s got a damp mouth and the way he stands sometimes gives me the willies” Builder 2: “Stewart? He’s got a damp mouth? What d’you mean wet? Builder 1: “No not wet worse, damp. Like he’s not alive or sommat. Alien. He could be a serial killer or a kiddy fiddler or something. Trust me” Builder 2: “Nah. He goes to church and that” Builder 1: “Exactly. See. Church. Exactly. Something satanic about him. Church my arse it’s a cover I tell you he is not normal take my word for it. Builder 2: (Laughing) ”He’s always been alright with me. He gave me a mars bar yesterday. Builder1: “Fuck me. You didn’t eat it did you?” Builder 2: (now laughing) “Course I did you silly c***I was fucking starving. Builder 1: “ Well you were lucky there. God knows what could have happened to you. You just be careful. And don’t hang around him on night jobs. I’m telling you. It wouldn’t surprise me if he bit you in the neck. He gets that funny look sometimes. Urgh gives me the fucking willies” Builder 2: “You need help you know that dontcha” Then the other builders phone rang again and then they started talking about Jimmy Saville.
I didn’t learn much but if I ever meet him I’m staying away from that Stewart.