Sorry for the absence but been very tied up with finishing my new book (go look on Amazon books for Kindle as it’s available now) and finally got back out into the world. Have been at various places but was at the American embassy on Tuesday night for election party so as you can imagine I got a great Overheard. But first my best lines this year from a loud phone conversation outside the Dominion theatre on Tottenham Court Road.
‘Wildly brightly dressed African woman in traditional garb’ – “No I am not interested in him he smells of chip fat” listens “You are not listening the man is a rogue and a wastrel Dorothy have you seen his shoes for goodness sake” listens “I don’t care that he is a successful businessman. I could never be affectionate to a person who dislikes kittens and that is an end to it. Please tell him I will pray for his eternal soul even though he will burn in hell” Great huh?
So to American election night. It was quite an event and I had a fantastic time (they had Russell Watson doing a twenty minute karaoke performance to backing tracks. I stood about three feet away watching the poor guy sing brilliantly and movingly to about nine hundred people most of whom seemed unaware of his presence) However around eleven I decided to rest my feet and sat down at the side of the room. Next to me were two very young and very loud American guys in dinner suits. Loud guy 1 “It’s the future man we are looking at the future” Loud guy 2 “Yeah I know. Romney has a vision he’s like oh what’s that little Indian dude Gundy isn’t it. Yeah he’s like deep you know like him, you can see it when he talks. He is our voice in this world.” Loud guy 2 “On the nose my friend on the nose. If that degenerate crook Obama gets in we’ll all be speaking Spanish in ten years you know that dontcha. And I ain’t no hispanco you hear me I am senor el blanco if you follow me you follow me right bro” Loud guy 2 “Too right my friend. My mom reckons she needs an interpreter now when she goes shopping. It’s a goddamn disgrace” Loud guy 1 (temporarily thrown) Uhuh but she lives in New Mexico right? I think Spanish is pretty common out that way isn’t it” Loud guy 2 “Tell me about it. She’s only there cos my sister married that trucking guy. But still speak American is what I say it’s our country goddam it. Just speak American ” Loud guy 1 (recovering) “Yeah I hear that loud and clear. But Jesus but I hope Romney wins (he pauses) but it’s in the bag right” Loud guy 2 “Are you kidding Obama is out of there woo hoo he is toast. Have you seen the polls? Mr Sears reckons it’ll be a rout. Oh yeah. Mitt will save us all you just see bring it on baby bring it on”
God bless America.