There’s a lot of information and advice out there for those caring for someone with an eating disorder, and in doing everything you can to take care of them, you may forget to be kind to yourself. But you are important too. If you don’t take look after yourself who is going to take care of them while you languish in a hospital bed?
But you are important too. If you don’t take look after yourself who is going to take care of them while you languish in a hospital bed?
Not taking care of myself when my child was ill had a knock-on effect on my own mental health. In the end, I needed counseling too – not only due to her illness but an accumulative effect – that I didn’t deal with things when I should have done. Bad, bad habit. Naughty mummy.
I like keeping things simple and caring for someone is both tiring and emotionally draining. I don’t want to end this week of articles with a long list of instructions, of dos and don’ts.
So here are a few things to remember as you get through your days in helping your child, partner, friend or sibling back to health.
Be aware
Remember that it’s a mental health issue. Once you grasp this it puts everything else into perspective. It’s no good telling someone with depression how lucky they are, how clever, how pretty. It doesn’t work. It’s the same with eating disorders. It’s no good saying ‘It’s simple, just eat‘. It’s not. It’s like climbing Everest. There is no rhyme or reason to their behaviour, because it’s a mental health issue.
Be quick
Get help fast. Statistics show that those who get early intervention recover more quickly. If you suspect someone has an eating disorder go to your GP. If you don’t get any joy check out the information on the B-eat website.
Be a squeaky wheel
There are so many great GPs out there – ours were spectacular in the way they supported my daughter throughout her illness. So many parents are not so fortunate. I have heard many stories of numerous trips to the doctors, paperwork going walkabout, no referrals. Stay on top of the situation. Don’t be quiet and passive – get active. There’s an old saying that it’s the squeaky wheel that gets attention. Be the squeaky wheel.
Be a mirror
You are important too. Don’t neglect yourself by taking care of your loved one. It’s easy to put all of your focus on getting them well – but you need to set an example. If you don’t care for yourself then why should they care for themselves either.
Above all, I wish you a speedy recovery – both your loved and yourself. Eating Disorders affect the whole family and it takes time to recover. Be kind to yourself. Be well
Tracy Baines has written a book about how her daughter’s eating disorder impacted on her family. The book It’s Not about the Food is part memoir part self-help guide. It contains resources she found helpful and quotes from many other parents she either interviewed or who responded to her questionnaire.