F*cked at 40: Life Beyond Suburbia, Monogamy and Stretch Marks

In her latest book, F*cked at Forty, Tova Leigh takes us on a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs, and the highs and lows of her life as a single person, a married, divorced and married again woman, the trauma of childbirth to, finally, a place that makes sense to her.

She discovered that she was more than just an extension of society and her family.

This made me reassess what I was striving for in my life, not just what society and family expected of me.

However, extracting the me from society and family proved to be more difficult than you would imagine.

When I was married and the children were small, if anyone asked how I was, I would always reply in relation to how the children and my husband were; if they were happy, I was happy.

Or was I?

Tova Leigh has been where I’ve been, felt what I’ve felt but, unlike me, she has stuck her head above the parapet and shouted it to the world. She changed things, and with an honesty that takes your breath away, has made her life, and the lives of those close to her, richer and happier.

The secret is, there is no secret. Be honest with yourself and, even if it’s painful, be honest with those close to you. Think carefully about the life you want, then get out and have that life. Adapt. Change. Never stop moving forward.

I realise, now, that life doesn’t stop after marriage, children or, even, divorce. There is so much more to explore, and I, for one, am considering a trip to Nepal where, according to F*ucked at Forty, the freedom is terrifying.

Available in HB, £14.99. Ebook and audio.