Grief is a terrible and complex emotion and it can be hard to know what to do or say to someone who is grieving. There is no right or wrong way grieve, there is no step by step guide. Everyone deals with grief in their own way in their own time. What I have found helpful to comfort to those who are grieving is:

To let them cry, don’t try to cheer them up- just  comfort them. Saying nothing is sometimes just what is needed. On the flip side if they’re happy and are sharing their funny memories, let them , laugh with them.

Let them be angry and curse the world if they need to, again don’t put a positive spin on things just simply let them be angry.

If you don’t know what to say then a simple “I’m thinking of you / I’m here for you” message goes a long way. It lets your loved one know you’re there for them but are also respecting their space.

Try not to say “I know just how you feel” as you may not know what they are feeling at that moment.

Be patient, they will not just “get over it” they will miss their loved one everyday some days will be better than others.

There are 5 stages of grief, not everyone will experience them all and may not go through them in this order.

5 stages of grief are

Denial – “This isn’t happening to me/ They’re not gone”

Anger – “This is all his/her fault” “How dare they leave me”

Barganing – “If only I had done ….”

Depression – “I don’t know how to go forward from here”

Acceptance – “I was lucky to have known them/ they’re in a better place now”
For grief helplines visit www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/