Shouting is still controversial, but recent studies show the impact of shouting at children can be ‘just as harmful as hitting them’
After becoming a parent, qualified therapist Yasmin Shaheen-Jaffar decided it was finally time to break the “historical pattern” of abuse she had suffered as a child, rendering her “anxiety-ridden” in adulthood.
“Shouting can trigger violence. I was shouted at a lot as a child and it often turned into physical abuse. This made me grow up into quite a nervous adult, and also avoidant of conflict which has brought a whole host of issues I’ve had to overcome”.
Children suffering from verbal and physical abuse often develop a low self-esteem and self-image, and a negative worldview. But the consequences aren’t all psychological.
“This is really embarrassing to admit, but when I was shouted at as a child I would be so frightened that I would wet myself. This just caused me even more shame and made me feel like I couldn’t tell anyone. The fear paralysed me”.
When Yasmin became a parent herself, she felt it was important to stop shouting and instead foster a “healthy communicative relationship” with her child so that the pattern would never be repeated again. This decision was reinforced further when she suffered a personal loss.
“Someone very close to me committed suicide a few years ago. It made me realise within all that shouting that so often happens in everyday life – the real issues get buried. I think quite often the shouting ends up being a distraction”.
After committing herself to ending shouting and encouraging “healthy ways to have difficult conversations”, Yasmin launched World Let’s Stop Shouting Day in an effort to share her experience with parents on the effects shouting can have on their children.
“Children model their behaviour on the people around them. It’s not always easy, but if you don’t want your child to turn to shouting as a way of communicating, and everything that comes with it, you need to change your own behaviour first. It can feel impossible at times, but with some work it can be done”.
ABOUT WORLD LET’S STOP SHOUTING DAY
The World Let’s Stop Shouting awareness day’s focus is to open the conversation about the impact of aggressive and angry communication on our relationships and physical and mental health. Shouting, as a form of verbal abuse, can often be a trigger for more violent crimes and there should be greater encouragement for healthy debate.
More info here: www.LETSTOPSHOUTING.com