I first started practicing mindfulness & meditation, (albeit sporadically) over a decade ago, whilst I was being treated for severe agitated depression when we were living in Germany, which , (as I said last week),  was the start of my peri-menopause, or so I came to believe. 

My journey into meditation & mindfulness was self-led. I’d read books & tried to introduce more mindfulness into my kids’ lives. Kids are inherently mindful & present, I figured it made sense to nurture this rather than condition it out of them. So I knew mindfulness would be helpful for me. I started meditating & slowly my mental health started to improve.

We moved to Germany to Bangkok for my husband’s work where I met my dear friend, Violaine, a practicing Buddhist & meditation teacher. Violaine became my meditation mentor: with her I studied & practiced meditation for 2 hours almost every week.

It was a revelation. She guided me through all the pitfalls of my own self-led practice, taught me how to do it (although it’s less about doing & more about being), helped me navigate inevitable obstacles.

I learnt 2 profound lessons during my time with Violaine: you don’t have to believe everything you think. Our thoughts are just thoughts, not necessarily fact & they do not define you.

That was a relief!

We can all fall foul of being sabotaged by our inner critical voice – mine was brutal. Layer on the ugly, insidious thoughts of mental heath (or lack thereof) & that dialogue in my head was not a pleasant space to be.

This insight almost gave me the permission I needed to let go of those unhelpful thoughts. I started to acknowledge the ugly, unhelpful thoughts & I would just stop & remind myself if I wouldn’t say that to a friend I wouldn’t be saying it to myself. Overtime that inner critical voice has quietened.

Violaine also said, “It is a work, Alex, it is always a work.”

And it is but oh my gosh it is so worth it.

We lived in Bangkok for 2 years & I absolutely loved there for many reasons, one of them was to see the monks every morning on their daily alms rounds. They were a beautiful reminder to take a moment to turn inwards & I was grateful for that.

I also discovered that the Buddha ordained temples were not for the sake of worship but instead a reminder of our own Buddha nature: we are all inherently good, loving & kind. It helps to cultivate that all important self-compassion. I just love this concept.

When we moved back to the UK over 4 years ago it was because my marriage was over. Our nomad life (when we arrived in the UK my young son  had lived in 4 other countries) was over & it was time to settle.

Settling into any new country is hard, layer on a divorce & as the autumn night’s started to draw in I began to miss our spontaneous, social, fun life overseas & feel sorry for myself.

Then I had an idea: I thought about Rumi’s quote – it’s all about perception.

If I think things are going to be cr*p, then damn sure it will be because that’s what I’m looking for, so that’s what I’ll find.

But what if I think it’s going to be OK, good, great even?

And so I decided to do just shift my perception… and nothing changed…but everything did.

What a great lesson.

Next time find out how my mindfulness training helped overcome crippling anxiety & suicidal thoughts.

If you would like to find out more about creating your own self-care practices check out Alex’s FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfulnessyoga4selfcare

Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexbannard/

Incorporate short yoga sequences & meditations as part of your self-care toolkit with guided practices on Alex’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQlKZJ7MeyYc6lqkv6seISw

For more info check out www.alexbannard.com

Alex is based on the edge of the stunning Cotswolds & has been sharing her love for all things yoga & mindfulness for almost a decade, not just in the UK but also around the world. Having used her training & knowledge to navigate her own menopausal journey & create a life in which she is thriving, Alex is devoted in supporting other’s in this life changing transition.