Fyodor Dostoyevsky was a Russian novelist towards the end of the 19th-Century, famous for such works as Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov. Amongst his shorter stories is The Dream Of A Ridiculous Man, about an ordinary man who finally realises that nothing matters so decides to shoot himself. Beforehand, he falls asleep and has a dream which, upon waking, has changed his view of the world and life as a whole. In the story, he tells us of his vision for the future.
Billed as a ‘thought-provoking yet hilarious exploration of human nature’, sadly the play sets itself up for a fall. It stumbles through far too many genres and styles like a tipsy drinker weaving through tables and chairs whilst heading for the bar…
But there is much to like! It’s a one-man show, calmly performed by Greg Hicks. He is assisted by a wonderful armoury of lighting and sound effects, along with original music and graceful choreography.
Herein lies its weakness – the phrase ‘jack of all trades, master of none’ comes to mind. So much artistry is thrown in with so little coherence that it dilutes the message and dulls the sharpness of the point of the production, which must surely be the short story upon which it is based. It lacks the urgency which the man’s vision deserves. After all, he is trying to tell us something he believes to be important, to keep us listening, to persuade us… the whole feel is one of cosiness and safety – there’s no shock or peril, very little variation of dark and light… it is, dare I say it, beige.
It may gain some edge as the run continues. I really do hope so, because there is so much quality on show here.
Paul Vates.
Photography Mark Senior
Writer/Director Laurence Boswell
Designer Loren Elstein
Lighting Designer Ben ormerod
Sound Designer Gary Sefton
Movement Director Gary Sefton
Composer Harrison White
Running Time 75 minutes – no interval
Dates until Saturday 20th April 2024
Check with the theatre for show times
Venue Marylebone Theatre, 35 Park Road, London NW1 6XT
Margaret and Dick were walking Rosie and Polly along a country track on the way to the little stream.
‘Why,’ stamped Margaret, staring ahead. ‘Do people do that? Poo bag, please Dick. Now.’
‘Really, they should pick it up,’ said Dick, groping. ‘Oh no, I have used all mine.’
Margaret fumbled in her pockets, tissues out, dog treats out, old co-op receipt. old post office receipt now. 2nd class book of stamps out.’ ‘Why,’ Asked Dick, ‘don’t you empty your pockets, from time to time?’
‘Never mind that. I have found my stamps. This could be a good morning after all.’
‘And a poo bag?’
‘I have two more pockets,’ soothed Margaret, knowing that Dick has a special pocket for poo bags, a special pocket for tissues, an inside pocket for receipts, and a second inside pocket for phone. Margaret doesn’t know how she came to live with someone with such a tidy mind. Sometimes she hears Dick asking the flagpole how he came to live with someone who was so dreadfully, awfully untidy, and who empties her pockets sometimes, but then filled them up again, in no particular order.
Finally Margaret found her poo bag, tucked up her jumper sleeve beneath her waterproof coat. She realised she had put it there, instead of her pocket, which was why there were so very many tissues in every pocket.
She gave Dick Polly’s lead to hold, and approached the poo. It was rather a large one. She felt cross all over again. She turned back to Dick, and started to say, ‘Really, it is too bad.’
But Dick was pointing, wagging his forefinger at the poo. (Margaret is sorry to keep saying poo, but needs must). His mouth was working, but no words.
Margaret turned back to the poo. It seemed it was once more, women’s work. But … Lord … Arrrgh … The poo … was moving, yes it was. Just a bit, then it sort of fell on its side. It had a little hand – yes it did, and another. Then there was a sort of shiver (not not from Margaret and Dick, but they felt like shivering.)
‘I’m holding the dogs,’ Dick said. ‘You’d better check things are …’
‘Are what?’ said Margaret creeping forward, poo bag in her hand. But what good was a poo bag if there was a sort of hand. The pile was back as it had been.
Urghh. Ooooh. How. Whaaat?
Margaret reached it, she bent over, she really looked. Was it a frog? But … There was another. Yes, two frogs, but there was another, sort of lying over the heads of the two frogs, and then, when she tried to count the legs, there was another set of legs and arms, all with hands, these two were sort of wrapped round the head of the two frogs.
Margaret breathed in. She put her poo bag back in her pocket. ‘Frog stack,’ she said in a matter of fact voice, because she had read about it, and she liked to be a know it all. But f-o-u-r frogs.
‘What are they doing?’ Dick said.
Margaret didn’t like to even think what they were doing, but she expected it was naughty. It was spring. She told Dick what she thought.
Dick looked at Polly and Rosie. ‘Not in front of the little ones,’ he said, his mouth looking as though he had sucked a lemon. ‘This is not our business, it really truly is not.’ Best just leave these four to ‘it’.’
So Margaret and Dick did as ‘it’ resonated for quite some distance. They left them to ‘it’ too, on their return, and as they stepped over them, the frogs sort of shivered again. (sorry if this is too explicit)
‘Well, it is spring,’ Margaret said to Dick.
‘Stop talking,’ said Dick, and hurried on back to Margaret and Dick’s garden, and Margaret did not make the coffee for a little while, for Dick would need a few moments… Yes, you know don’t you … with the flagpole.
I confess to being a quiz show fanatic. I freely admit to spending far too many hours staring at the TV and wracking my brains for that elusive answer, buried somewhere deep in my aging memories.
Those who know the show won’t need an explanation, but for others, in brief: firstly there’s a real Money Ladder – yes there is – which you can hang up and then use the Score Trackers to climb up the ladder, just like on TV. The first part of the game is to answer questions to win lives, then you progress to the next stage when you must answer your way through 10 question cards by giving either the exact answer or a lower number, and bank as much money as you can – there’s no limit how much you can earn, but if your answer’s wrong you lose lives, and if it’s too high, you lose everything you’ve banked and lose the game. There are other neat features, such as life-line cards to be earned too. I love that a QR code is provided which allows you to play digitally, automatically keeping track of your scores.
I’m impressed how Ginger Fox have captured the spirit of the TV show and made it accessible to all. The game is for anyone from eight years old and above, and the questions range from easy to hard as you progress up the Money Ladder. The box is small enough to take on holiday without any problem and you can even play it by yourself if you are a serious quiz show addict.
At just £24.99 from Ginger Fox this is a great game.
By Dr K Thompson, author of From Both Ends of the Stethoscope: Getting through breast cancer – by a doctor who knows
Note: These articles express personal views. No warranty is made as to the accuracy or completeness of information given and you should always consult a doctor if you need medical advice.
I love HeyDoodle and so does my four-year old grandson – like all the best toys, the concept is simple and well-executed. There’s a wide range of educational colouring mats and books to choose from and each comes with a set of lovely brightly-coloured pens. As the mats and books are all made of silica, they can be wiped clean at the end of the day – no mess at all.
Certainly my grandson was absorbed for hours, keeping in the lines of the different animals and fish in the Habitats Above & Below book. Not only did it help him to colour neatly, but this book, in the new vertical format, has one page for creatures of the sky, one for mountain-dwellers, another featuring lions and giraffes living at ground level and finally a page for underground animals – a simple way for children to learn a great deal through simply colouring. But there’s more – on the other side were sea creatures – ranging from those living just below the surface (the Sunlight zone), those which swim in the deeper Twilight zone, then the Midnight zone-dwellers and finally the Abyss at 5000m below sea level, including of course sunken pirate treasure (I learned a lot myself looking at those pages).
Like all the books, it was presented with the colouring pens in a very neat keepsake box which is super easy to store and takes up almost no room. The books would be perfect for a long car journey, thus limiting the number of ‘Are we there yet?’s. Other titles include Natural Wonders and Old MacDonald Had A Farm. At £24.99 these make a really special gift for kids and can be used again and again.
Frost has featured the Dinoroars colouring mat before and these are still just £14.99 for the A4 size and £21.99 for the A3 size. But don’t take my word for it, check out the HeyDoodle website for lots more great ideas.
By Dr K Thompson, author of From Both Ends of the Stethoscope: Getting through breast cancer – by a doctor who knows
Note: These articles express personal views. No warranty is made as to the accuracy or completeness of information given and you should always consult a doctor if you need medical advice.
Yes, the wonderful Golden Fleece overlooking the Market Square – with its coffee and maltesers – leads the way with its yarnbombed railings. Then press the crossing button and nip over the road to the cobbled Market Place and here we go, just a sample of the holiday ideas.
A car with our animal friends enjoying the scenery. Well, there’s a lot of glorious scenery around Thirsk. Lucky lucky us.
We never know which of the many yarnbombers does what, but it doesn’t matter as they are such fun and we love their work so much. Someone asked me if they were ever vandalised. Certainly not, this is Thirsk, after all. And who would, with an octopus keeping an eye out.
Someone obviously travelled rather a long way, and lovely to see the kangaroo and Koala, both of which I’ve seen when I’ve travelled to Australia to research a couple of my novels. So many wonderful memories. (Thank you, Yarnbombers) But let’s move on…
A typical UK holiday scene, the lighthouse somehow standing sort of straight despite the rain, though the wind has caught the sails of the boat.
Beach huts and deckchairs, those were the days, with a hankerchief knotted at the corners if you were my dad. And there we are, a mermaid. What more do we need.
And of course, the holiday picnic – and for a moment out came the sun in Thirsk, so sandwiches can be eaten. Hurrah. And hurrah for the Thirsk Yarnbombers, they warm our hearts. What will they treat us too next?
Tracklements. How do I love thee, let me count the ways..
As evidenced in previous reviews for Frost Magazine, I have a long-standing love affair with the range of chutneys and relishes produced by Tracklements, so, in the spirit of full disclosure, I was already anticipating that the new Special Edition Chimichurri Chilli Relish was likely to capture my heart, not to mention my taste buds.
Chimichurri Chili relish is a popular, green sauce originating from Argentina and Uruguay, this is a veritable flavour fiesta of coriander, oregano, parsley, garlic, lemon juice and Bird’s Eye Chillies. This versatile relish makes a wonderful addition to a variety of dishes, as well as an excellent cooking ingredient and table condiment.
I am a vegetarian and I have yet to find a dish that this doesn’t enhance. I have used it to pep up sandwiches, cheeses, and it provides a real boost to a plate of antipasti. I will definitely be trying it with hard boiled Quail’s eggs. It’s an exciting dipper for a double fried chunky chip, adds bite to a grilled halloumi wrap. and a burst of fresh zesty flavour to sliced tomatoes or liberally spread on warm bruschetta.
Traditionalists may say it should be reserved for complementing the richness of Churrasco – grilled or barbecued meat, but in my opinion, it deserves a seat at any table.
My non – vegetarian friends tell me that Chimichurri Chilli Relish gives an herbaceous kick both spooned on to barbecued steak or drizzled over chicken, fish and roasted mixed veg., and satisfies all lovers of a Sunday roast leftover sandwich. It also makes an elaborate foil for ceviche.
Aromatic, herby, citrusy, tart and garlicky with a chilli kick, this versatile relish makes a wonderful addition to a variety of dishes, as well as an excellent cooking ingredient and table condiment.
I will be ordering more as I expect that this love will last for a long time, unlike the fast disappearing Special Edition Chimichurri Chilli Relish.
Tracklements Special Edition Chimichurri Chilli Relish RRP £4 10 for 170 g, is available from fine food delis, farm shops nationwide and online www.tracklements.co.uk@tracklements
Image of Tracklement Relish courtesy tracklements.co.uk Image of crackers Michael Rowan
“There is a plot twist that made the audience sit up and pay attention”
Set at the turn of the Millennium, London Zoo is about the prejudices that exist in the workplace – focussing here in the press and newspaper world, covering editorial and company acquisition. If that sounds a little boring – it is! It’s about the figures and the manipulation of those figures to impress the board, who’s in and who’s out, who’s being fired and who is doing the firing… blah blah blah.
[Anirban Roy, Dan Saski, Simon Furness, Harris Vaughan and Natalie Lauren]
What life there is springs up when characters suddenly outrage us with their views of the world. Sexism and racism keep raising their ugly heads. There’s bullying and entitlement, too, thrown in for good measure. It’s all here on show for us to dislike.
[Simon Furness and Harris Vaughan]
Farine Clarke has written and directed a play that somehow feels a little dated. Unsure within itself whether to portray the unlikeable characters as grotesques in a dated world and go for laughs, or to play for the reality of it all which runs the risk of tedium – do we care enough about any of these people? It’s a fine line to tread and I’m not sure she knows but as it is London Zoo can’t be both.
[Odimegwu Okoye]
There is a plot twist that made the audience sit up and pay attention. Everyone left the theatre buzzing, which is an amazing feat for any production to achieve. There is a lot to talk about from London Zoo, but I’m not quite sure it’s what Farine Clarke wanted or expected…
Photography Lidia Crisafulli
Writer/Director Farine Clarke
Special Advisor Linda Marlowe
Designer Rebecca Pitt Designs
Running Time 90 minutes – which includes a 15-minute interval
Age Restrictions 12+
Dates until Saturday 30th March 2024. Check with the theatre for show times
Venue Southwark Playhouse Borough, 77-85 Newington Causeway, London
Yesterday could have been a dreadful day. Margaret and Dick walked their two girls, Rosie the Cockerpoo and Polly the Cavachon and then Margaret took a neighbour’s lovely Cockerpoo for a walk, then there was a dash here, a dash there. Finally, perfection, into town they went with Dick driving, Margaret on the back seat with Rosie and Polly. Well, Margaret knows her place.
‘Has Dada seen that car is stopping, Mama?’
‘I will save us,’ said Mama. ‘Stoppp! Brakes lights ahead.’
‘I saw, ‘ said Dada in that strange voice that sounds as though someone is strangling him. ‘That’s why I have a foot on the brake, gently, coasting towards the car with the red lights on.’
Goodness, Margaret thought. Dick is talking a lot this morning. The girls thought he was too. ‘Why are his knuckles often white in the car, Mama, when we are helping him?’
Margaret didn’t know and couldn’t understand it.
They walked into town from the carpark near the church. Dick waited outside a charity shop because Margaret wanted to buy a £2.00 DVD of the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel which she hadn’t seen for ages, and wanted to. She found one, and was very very pleased. Then they walked along a bit and into The Golden Fleece on the Market Place. It was very busy. Someone was at Table 23. Oh dear. Someone else was in the Writing Room at Margaret and Dick’s second best table, the one which also had comfy armchairs. Well, they all do, but these are the best.
Finally they were in the bar, and there was their third best table – free. They sat. Dick ordered coffees. Margaret gave the girls treats.
The lovely bloke brought the coffees. Ooh, a lovely lot of chocolate sprinkles on Margaret’s cappuccino. Then she looked, stared, searched, but no, there were no Maltesers. How could that be, for everyone who had coffee in The Golden Fleece had three Maltersers in a spirit glass? Had Dick chomped them all quick as a flash and then hidden the little spirit glasses?
Dick was shocked too, though, so Margaret called to the lovely bloke who was behind the bar, making more coffees.
‘Did you forget our Maltesers, lovely young bloke?’ She didn’t call him that aloud, she is fibbing)
‘No,’ the lovely bloke said, staying behind the bar, as though he was seeking protection. He is a big young man. He shouldn’t get frightened. But Margaret thought he really was, because he was wiping a cup as though he was going to polish it to nothing.
‘We have none. We have run out.’
Those terrible words one never expects to hear, especially in The Golden Fleece, the most perfect of hotels. None? No Maltesers? ‘Tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Would you like a digestive?’
Margaret pondered, because now she realised why there were more chocolate sprinkles than usual. She accepted the digestive. It was kind of the lovely bloke, but frankly, it was not three Maltesers – well, four, because Dick always gave Margaret one of his.
It was a nice coffee though. This lovely bloke makes almost the best Margaret has had but it’s not the same as… Dick told Margaret she was becoming obsessed.
The drive home was quiet. Margaret and the girls couldn’t even raise the will to remind Dick of the roundabouts. But as they drove down their road, Margaret remembered the amazing hot Maltesers drink she had bought herself for Mother’s Day. Oh yes, that would save the day because it is truly truly delicious. She knows because she had bought herself a jar the week before.
Into the pantry she looked. And again, because the Maltesers drink was not there, not anywhere. Margaret told Dick. Dick said, ‘I hid it, for your own good. I thought you might drink much too much of it because you love anything Malteser much too much, and then the girls and I would have to lie and say you were no fatter than you are now.’
‘Fatter. Fatter,’ shrieked Margaret. ‘Are you mad? I am not fat. Or am I? Really. Oh, am I fat?’ Margaret understands Dick. It does not take much to break him.
The Maltesers drink was ready in no time at all. It is not quite the same as the Maltesers that everyone in Thirsk looks forward to in The Golden Fleece, you know, the little choccy brown thingies that you put in the mouth, suck the chocolate off, and then crunch the honeycomb – but it was very nice. Tomorrow she will see if the Maltesers have been delivered. She is hopeful because Margaret is an optimist and a sweet natured, kindly, positive soul, or so she tells herself, one who lifts the world for those around her. Dick does not tell the flagpole about Margaret being sweet natured, kindly, positive. He certainly does not tell it that she lifts the world for those around her, but that’s quite another matter and one Margaret will address another day.
