Category Archives: The Inept Girl’s Guide to Cooking

The Inept Girl's guide to cooking.

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Cooking food: Sometimes you just need it to be quick, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want it to be good. Ready meals will never taste as good as a home cooked meal. However, the speed and convenience of just punching a hole in something with a fork, and microwaving it for two minutes wins out. With this in mind I have two words for you: stir fry. Yes, I know all the food I have cooked is quite easy so far. The clue is in the title.

I made a sweet chilli king prawn stir fry with rice. It is a quick and delicious meal. I am proud to say that I have perfected the art of cooking rice. This is how….

You want Basmati rice. It’s more expensive, but the taste makes it worth it. Always measure rice by volume and not by weight: use a measuring jug and measure 2½ fl oz (65 ml) per person (5 fl oz/150 ml for two, 10 fl oz/275 ml for four and so on). The quantity of liquid you will need is roughly double the volume of rice; so 5 fl oz (150 ml) of rice needs 10 fl oz (275 ml) of hot water.

Put in a pan and add boiling water ( I always boil the kettle and then add the water.) DO NOT STIR. Once is fine but anymore will ruin the rice. Put the lid on the pan and turn the heating down to the lowest setting. The leave it alone. Do not peak to see if is ready. Leave white rice for 15 minute and brown rice 40. Use a timer. Do not overcook the rice. This spoils it. Simply bit a grain to see if it is ready. If it is not ready, give it a few more minutes.

When the rice is cooked, remove the lid, turn the heat off and place a clean tea cloth over the pan for 5-10 minutes. This absorbs the steam.

Now for the rest….

You need: King prawns, sweet chilli sauce, mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, any other vegetables you want to use.

Wash the veg and cut it up. Add some olive oil to a wok or frying pan. Leave until the oil warms up. Add vegetables for a minute and stir constantly. Add the king prawns. Keep stirring for a minute or until cooked. Add some sweet chilli sauce. And your done!

You can always leave the rice if your in a rush and cook some noodles. Just add some noodles in a pot with some water. Takes a few minutes to cook. Keep stirring.

So, did it taste good? Yes. I was given full points.

If you would like to suggest something for me to cook, comment below, or email frostmagazine@gmail.com.

The Inept Girl's Guide to Cooking. Smoked Salmon Pasta.

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I spent quite a while wondering what I should cook for my next column. In the end I decided to go with…what was in my fridge. What was in my fridge was a mismatch of food that didn’t really go together. I decided to be both creative and brave. This is what happened.

What I found in my fridge to make Smoked Salmon pasta with Brie: Two onions, 75g of smoked salmon, 100g of brie, two good handfuls of fresh pasta and a generous amount of olive oil. About two tablespoons.

Main: Cut some onions up and fry them. I actually hate chopping onions. It really does hurt my eyes but I find chopping them underwater helps. Put on the fresh pasta and cook for two minutes ( or according to the guidelines) salt the pasta. After the pasta is done drain it and add a generous amount of olive oil. Cut up some brie and salmon. Add it to the pot with the onions. Stir it all together.

Dessert: Raspberries with cream. Super simple. Put the raspberries in the bowl, add cream. Grate some chocolate and put that on top. Tastes delicious

The verdict: Well, I surpassed myself. Smoked salmon pasta with brie. It tasted amazing. The only complaint I had was that I did not cook enough. So with new-found confidence I am preparing for my next column.

The Inept Girl's Guide to Cooking. Catherine Balavage learns how to cook….

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I have been spoilt. This is, obviously, not a complaint. Just an observation. My entire life I have been surrounded by good cooks. Most of my childhood memories are of dinner time. My parents also loved to bake. I was raised on wholesome, delicious, home cooking.

As a child I could bake fairy cakes and sponge cakes. Do a mean lasagne or spag bol. I sat in the kitchen with my family and partook in the wonderful, bonding thing that is cooking.

However, in recent years this has all changed. I live a busy London life and I rarely cook from scratch. If I do I lack imagination. Always falling on the dishes I have been doing for years. I have now decided that this will not do. I will learn to cook. I will have a large variety of dishes at my disposal. I will be a domestic goddess. I will get someone to taste the food each week to give their opinion. This is the first article in my journey.

Sunday April 25th 2010.

I decide to start easy: spaghetti bolognese! I am good at this. I have been doing it for years. I don’t want my confidence knocked straight away. And I fail…. James brings the ingredients around and I have a heart attack because MY MAC WON’T WORK! How can I write a column without a computer? Luckily I know someone who knows someone who has amazing IT skills. I unpack the food and pour some wine. I switch my computer on and put it on the freezer and I watch, happy and amazed, as Ewan ( Currently my favourite person in the world ) remotely fixes my computer from Scotland. I even talk to Ewan through textedit.

While Ewan does his impressive fix up of my Mac I give some onions a chop. I pour some mince in a pot and, erm, James does the rest. I have fallen into my old habits. I do, however, have a good reason this time. I will not lie. I did some stirring and I drank some wine, and nothing else. I am aware this is not a good start….

An hour and a half later we have cooked and ate:

Starter: Insalate caprese. Buffalo Mozzarella, basil, tomato drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Main: Spaghetti bolognese.

Brown mince, chop onions and fry, boil some tomatoes and then peel. Put all ingredients in one pot. Optional, but you can add some buffalo mozzarella. Cook spaghetti and Put that in too. You have a very good and easy to make dish.

This is actually different from how I usually make it. Probably because I didn’t. I add tomatoes puree,tinned chopped tomatoes, onions, mushrooms and garlic. I brown the mince and then add the ingredients. I cook pasta separately.

Verdict: The food is amazing. You can never go wrong with Italian. I give it 10/10. The only Spaghetti bolognese I have tasted that I like more than the ones my parents make. Check back next week for my next column. Where I will actually cook.

The other good result? My Mac now works perfectly.