Category Archives: People

Living with Alzheimer’s – I am an Essential Caregiver by Chris Suich

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At last, I’m Bob’s ‘essential care giver’!

It has been a tumultuous battle this year for me and many thousands more up and down the country who have been desperately fighting to see their loved ones in care homes for a year and more. Our loved one’s mental health and well-being have not being considered; the laws that are there to protect the vulnerable have been ignored. I was reading recently that there is a catastrophic hidden cost of Covid because many dementia sufferers have simply given up, refused food, and died because they do not understand why their loved ones have stopped coming to see them. Despair and loneliness the silent killer.
My husband went into care just a week before the first lockdown when there was no vaccine and limited knowledge about how to halt this pandemic’s spread. I understood why I wasn’t allowed in and resorted to waving from the road or at the window with the British spirit of ‘ stiff upper lip’ and put my own agonies aside as this terrible Covid 19 meant we all had sacrifices to make. I was kept away, not able to hold his hands –even outside in the summer when the R rate was low, even though I was willing to wear PPE and do anything else required.  Then he caught Covid inside the home but fought and got better from it. This was devastating and the site was closed – all window visits stopped and I heard nothing for two months until I begged the GP to check on him.

Today we are in a very different position; so it makes no sense why some care homes cannot follow the latest government guidance of April 2021 and allow indoor visits mitigating risk, using lateral flow tests and PPE for all care homes everywhere.

For my part, I have been well supported by the founders of John’s Campaign – Julia Jones and Nicci Gerrard, as well as Leigh and Day solicitors and Rights for Residents founders Diane Mayhew and Jenny Morrison. Their steadfast advice and ability to cut through the legislation to make it clear and understandable has been invaluable. The publicity they have commanded on media, TV and radio raising the profile of care home visiting and the articulate way Jenny spoke to the Harriet Harman  select committee recently has been both humbling and a cause for jubilation. She spoke for me and for everyone.

I did everything I could to try to persuade the manager to let me in. I explained about ‘end of life’ being 6-12 months not just imminent death. The guidance states this and also that visits should be facilitated. But to be brutally honest, it wasn’t until we sought legal advice and sent a letter that a meeting with the Regional manager was organised which resulted in making me an essential care giver. In addition, Joe, our eldest son has been made a  designated visitor when he can get freed up from his shifts in the hospital. There is a very detailed personalised risk assessment. I have PCR test and a  lateral flow with the carers and home staff weekly and another lateral flow test every time I visit. It is a small inconvenience. I can now see my Bob for two whole hours twice a week in his room. I am ecstatic.

Much has changed. He doesn’t ask to hold my hand anymore he’s forgotten how to hold hands. I still hold his though and stroke his hands and face. He doesn’t know who I am anymore but he knows I’m ‘lovely’. He rarely understands but he seems content and searches my face and loves it when I smile. I play him lots of music. The tracks from his youth. The bands he actually booked when he was President of the Entertainment Committee whilst at Sheffield University in the 70s. Our youngest son still in Australia has suggested a playlist.
I try to keep to a routine. He likes a hot chocolate and I feed it to him at 3 pm in a beaker every time I visit. I give him chocolate buttons on his tongue. I always play ‘Oblah  Dee Oblah dah’ and he has started to la la la which I’m thrilled  about. I think he’s happy when I’m there, he chitter chats in a completely non-sensical way but I go along with it all. I’m trying to get a little bit back from him and I’m succeeding. He looks better and is not so agitated. He lets me put his cardigan on without a fight and brush his teeth with a soft brush. He does still call out randomly and hallucinate but generally he’s content. I too am content. I can check he’s clean, his room is kept nice and he’s as healthy as can be expected. The carers are kind and courteous to me. I thank them. They cannot fail to see the bond between us. He’s still there deep inside and he does come back to me a little every visit.
So today I had another visit and it does us both good. I left him wrapped in the memory blanket with the pictures of our family on it.
I am very lucky to have this precious time and I pray that everyone will see their loved ones soon, before it’s too late.

What a Nutritionist Feeds Her Kids

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It is not uncommon for parents to worry about the nutritional value of the food they are serving their children and little ones. The food children and babies eat when they are younger can really make a difference on how they eat as they get older. However, it’s important for parents to keep the pressure off for everyone, including themselves. Think about what’s eaten over a week, not day to day and avoid coaxing little ones to eat or ensuring kids stay at the table until they’ve finished the meal. All of this can impose negative associations around foods which is ultimately what we want to avoid if we’re trying to create little foodies. According to research recently conducted by Stokke 53% of parents struggle to prepare a meal that the entire family will enjoy.

feeding children good food, food ideas, ideas, food, feeding, weaning.

Make choice part of your mealtime routine. Kids are more likely to eat something they feel they’ve had a say in, so instead of just plating up their food, ask them first “do you want X or Y with your dinner” or “Would you like spaghetti or rice for dinner today?” for example. You could also try offering multiple sides and giving them autonomy to choose what they want. You’ll probably be surprised how much more gets eaten when it’s them calling the shots. Younger babies don’t often have much choice in their meal options but try offering them a variety & following their lead. At mealtimes have conversations about the meals and foods on offer, allow honest opinions and maybe even make a game of rating the meals for the week. This can help children and toddlers to really think about their foods and their likes and dislikes a little more as well as being mindful about the foods they are eating.

Three fifths (60%) of families will always eat their families will always eat their family meals together at the dinner table. Sitting together and being present at mealtimes helps, but actually eating similar things can also help children to accept a wider variety. Some research shows that families eating together is a big factor in positively influencing the diets of their children, so as much as you can try to ROLEMODEL what a balanced diet looks like, and it’s likely your little ones will follow suit. Remember babies also learn the WHAT and the HOW of eating from copying their parents and those around them too, which is why I love the Stokke Tripp Trapp as a great way to bring baby right to the table with you at mealtimes. Research, conducted by premium children’s brand, Stokke, explored the importance of eating meals together as a family, found that 49% of participants believe eating together as a family creates a happier child and 34% believe it creates a more confident child.

With 82% of parents worrying about the nutritional value of the food they are serving their children and want to ensure they get the balance right – here is what I try to give my children for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner:
Breakfast 

Breakfast is often porridge, or pancakes – mainly because it’s SO easy to add extras to these – extra flavours such as cinnamon, or ginger, extra nutrients from peanut butter or milled seeds stirred in or extra portions of your 5 a day with some berries thrown into the batter/with the oats or even just sticks on the side.

 

Lunch 

I like a picky finger food lunch for those busy days. Trying to make this balanced is often easy too so things such as

Wraps with hummus and pepper

Cucumber fingers with yogurt dip and leftover curries

Tuna, yogurt and sweetcorn spread on toast

Omelettes with potato, mixed veg and cheese

 

Dinner  

Tends to be something hot, but it does vary.

I love potato tots for babies as they are just so simple and easy to vary.

Otherwise, it’s whatever we’re having for dinner

Pasta with chickpea and tomato sauce 

Chilli with potatoes and some grated cheese

I’m all about trying to make the most of meals and balance the food groups on offer where possible so that you know babies AND kids are getting all the nutrients they need. This means I’m always thinking about what I can sprinkle on top, what I can use as a dip or how I can add extras like lentils, fish or beans to pasta sauces.

Stokke are hosting a FREE weaning webinar – How to raise a confident foodie and help your baby love their broccoli as much as their cake! Charlotte Stirling-Reed Nutritionist and Author will be on Zoom 28th April at 8pm. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/how-to-wean-your-baby-mini-masterclass-tickets-143331352935?aff=Media10 

 

Expert nutritional advice from Charlotte Stirling-Reed, author of new book “How to wean your baby”, that publishes on 29th April but available for pre-order. www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1785043242 @sr_nutrition

 

Stokke is a leading high end baby brand in Scandinavia whose ethos is to nurture family bonding, having your baby closer to you and the importance of eye contact. The iconic Tripp Trapp® highchair was launched in 1972 and has since sold more than 12 million worldwide. www.stokke.com @stokkebaby

 

Grow Healthy Babies: The Evidence-Based Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

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grow healthy babies, pregnancy book, pregnancy, Being pregnant can feel like a minefield. Knowing what to eat and what to avoid can feel overwhelming. With allergies on the rise it adds more pressure. So I was excited to see the Grow Healthy Babies book. It is an evidence-based guide to reducing your child’s risk of asthma, eczema and allergies.

I was hoping it would not be a hippy-dippy book preaching to others what to eat and do, and I am happy to report it is not. It is a fantastic, well-researched book which backs up everything it says in droves. This book shows that you can make a huge difference to the health of your child, and it all starts in pregnancy. Pregnant women have more power than they realise.

While some of the research is not helpful to everyone- eating organic food is not within everyone’s range- I found the advice in this book invaluable. I would recommend it to anyone who is having a baby, or even thinking about getting pregnant. It is a truly great book and a triumph for the authors.

 

When lifelong asthma, eczema, and allergy sufferers Michelle Henning, a certified Nutrition & Health Coach, and her husband Dr. Victor Henning decided to become parents, they were well aware that half of all babies born today will develop allergies and up to a third will become asthmatic or suffer from eczema. Using their combined backgrounds in nutrition and science, they began investigating a mountain of medical literature on how to prevent chronic illness so that their baby would grow up healthy.

In their honest and enlightening new book Grow Healthy Babies, the Hennings share their research by distilling the latest medical evidence into a practical, easy to read guide that provides expecting parents with clear and simple steps to lower a baby’s risk of developing a chronic condition by up to 90%. With the goal of empowering parents-to-be or those planning to get pregnant with information about simple choices that improve their health and their child’s health, they cover a multitude of topics including:

  • You can make a difference: By making different choices during/after pregnancy, you have the power to shape your baby’s health for life
  • How your baby’s immune system develops, and how you can strengthen it to prevent chronic illness
  • How friendly bacteria, your microbiome, shape both your and your baby’s health, and how to protect and improve your microbiome
  • Which food choices and supplements during and after pregnancy make a real difference to your baby’s health, according to scientific studies
  • Why environmental factors and certain household products can trigger chronic disease, and how to choose healthier alternatives
  • How birth choices and breastfeeding can influence your baby’s long-term health

 

Grow Healthy Babies: The Evidence-Based Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and Reducing Your Child’s Risk of Asthma, Eczema, and Allergies is available for pre-order at bookstores nationwide and online retailers such as Amazon.

New Geomag Supercolor | Toy Reviews

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I am as much of a fan of Geomag as my children are. I am super excited that they have brought out two new products. The brand new Geomag Supercolor, which is made from 100% recycled plastic, is fantastic for learning in so many ways. It has limitless construction and a handy booklet to give you ideas for play. It offers hours of fun.

geomag shapes

Play with magnets and let creativity and imagination take over with the fun Geomag toy that works like pure magic. Thanks to the simple Geomag elements and the magic of magnetism, you can build endless 3D constructions with creativity and imagination. The elongated magnetic rods, steel balls and the various panel shapes make up the building system, which stimulates play and learning.

The Geomag 337 Supercolor Panels 35 Piece set costs £26 from Coolshop.co.uk

magicubes, magnetic toys, animals. , geomag magicubes, magnetic toys, animals, geomag

 

Next up is the gloriously fun Magicube. They are shapes you can make numerous animals out of. My daughter absolutely loves these. They are great for imaginative play and developing motor skills. They are also made from 100% recycled plastic. Highly recommended for your little one. Fab and fun.

 

Frost Loves: BONDS Baby Clothes

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BONDS, the biggest babywear brand in Australia have a gorgeous range of Wondersuits. We love the style, but we also love the high quality.
BONDS baby clothes BONDS baby clothes
Following on from their ‘Love” collection, we love the fruit inspired design of Wondersuits, features melons, apples, oranges, coconut and more has landed. Let’s be clear in the current climate, all we (and your little one) is thinking about is …food. So a timely addition to their Wondersuit designs.
Available from Next.co.uk and John Lewis. Wondersuits RRP £20, Leggings RRP £12 please check stockist.

Worth

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Frost fiction, short stories, poems, non fiction, fiction.

The woman flicked the notes carefully through her fingers, tapping the stack of cash against her desk and peering up over her horn-rimmed glasses.

“Not police?”

The man shook his head.  There was a note of threat to the question and he turned away, fixing his gaze through the doorway, his heart racing.

Silken bronze skin swept beneath long curls of onyx hair.  Asian eyes were lidded and docile.  The woman he desired tugged her skirt over a blackened bruise.

“You like?” the Madame slipped the money into a draw, her finger stroking a pistol.

“Yes.  Very much,…”

Note from the Author:  “This story is based on an event I witnessed personally many years ago, while in Soho for an audition. I didn’t catch much of the conversation – just a man and a woman trying to tempt him into a doorway. The words “Not Police” are forever etched in my mind. It made me so sad.”

Another in our series of 100-word short stories by Tim Austin. Whatever genre you love, there’s a story you’ll enjoy over at onewordonestory.org.

Come back on Tuesday for another. See you then!

One year in care during Covid 19 – Living with Alzheimer’s by Chris Suich

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I can hardly believe it is a year since Bob went into care. I have fought to have a meaningful visit for almost as long. I have three files of letters, have been interviewed on the main BBC news at 6 pm and 10 pm and done a double page spread with The Daily Express. I have joined 2 campaign groups and worked with human rights lawyers.

Still,  I have only seen him in his room for the last five weeks for 30 minutes each time because I have begged and underlined the guidance – which I have kept up with regularly –and where it mentioned  ‘ end of  life’, which states meaningful visits should be facilitated safely  (with lateral flow tests, temperature tests and PPE.) My GP has supported me, and my Admiral nurse.  My GP wrote a letter stating she thought Bob had months to live. 6-12 months is deemed end of life. This should be recognised by care-homes. It is written in the guidance during COVID-19. That was November. It took till the end of January. There are thousands and thousands more families up and down the country suffering. Yes, many residents have died in care-homes from COVID-19  but I wonder how many have died because they have been isolated from loved ones and have given up? I have seen the mental anguish. I have gone every week I was allowed on site to see Bob at the window. I have witnessed the scratching at the window, the crying for me.

The deterioration in just a year is profound. Bob cannot stand, needs a hoist, has a soft diet as he has a high risk of choking, is doubly incontinent, and speaks in odd words and phrases which are often muddled or random. He is as dependent as a baby. But he’s mine, and he’s still inside there somewhere.

So Bob is a shell of the man that walked into care. He doesn’t know me. I can hold his hand but he has forgotten how to hold mine. All those weeks he reached out to me begging to hold my hands and now he’s forgotten how to. I tell him I’m Chris, his wife and I love him and it’s a good day because I’ve come to see him. I pick up one of the memory books I’ve done for him and I talk to him about the pictures.

‘ Look, this is a lovely picture darling. That’s Eddie with his arm around you.  You were in Skegness having fish and chips’.

There is some recollection and then ‘ Edward, Edward, Edward!’

‘ Yes, and look who this is, it’s your Joey, yes, that’s Joseph’

Another flicker perhaps, a frown, dredging up the distant memory of his eldest son’s name.

And then, ‘ He’s a good chap.’

‘ Yes, he is. Dr Joe , he’s coming to see you tomorrow, darling, as soon as he’s finished at the hospital. He’s  coming to see you. How wonderful will that be?’

He looks around his bedroom as though he might be coming right now.

Then he sees my smiling face on his pictures on the memories blanket on his bed.

‘ She’s smiling’, he says.

‘ Yes darling, that’s me and I’m smiling because I’m here with you’

‘You’re very pretty’

‘ And you’re my handsome Bob’

That has tickled him and he laughs and laughs.

It is magical to have this response. Sometimes it is nothing. Staring in front of him if he’s sat in a chair, or laying in bed with the radio blaring. Lost in his thoughts, days passing, monotony, lifeless and without my stimulation. He jerks and reaches for things in fresh air, hallucinating. Today is a calm day.

It’s amazing what I can pack in the 30 minutes. I take him chocolate buttons and he opens his mouth like a little bird and I pop them in, one at a time. He licks his lips and I know he’s enjoyed them. I read to him. The Owl and the Pussycat last time. I play him our tunes. The Beatles ‘Ooh Blah  Dee Ooh Blah  Da’ and he responds. He wails to the chorus, trying to sing.  He recognises the chorus and I’m pleased I thought of that one. I dance around in front of him singing and trying to get a further response. I play ‘ A Groovy Kind of Love’ by Phil Collins. Our song. He knows the name. ‘ A long time ago’ he says.

It is – a lifetime away.

Out of the blue he says, ‘ I love you’ and I’m overcome, the tears spill. Happy tears tinged with sadness.

Then the knock at the door. ‘ Time’s Up’. I want to stay longer. He is just beginning to know me again, there’s a definite connection. Surely it makes no difference, I’m in his room, I’m not interfering with anyone. It’s not near tea time. Why can’t I stay two hours? He’s dying.  Every minute is precious.

Knock knock. ‘Sorry it’s time’. It’s agony. I don’t want to go. I’ll have to wait another week. I’m in an emotional trauma. Do prisoners get longer?

I tell him I love him and always will. I tell him I’ll be back. I say ‘I’ll bring you chocolate.’ I kiss him with my mask on, on his forehead. He doesn’t respond. He goes back inside himself. My eyes are full of tears. How can this be happening? I should have the same status as the carers. I am the family carer. I know him and can love and stimulate him.

They see my tears. I can’t speak. I try to get out quickly. I ram the PPE in the bin, I wash my hands and I briskly walk to the car. I sit in the car, my head bowed. I cannot stop the sobs. I wait till I can drive the 15 minutes home. I’m numb. The next day is the same. I sometimes just cannot do anything. No motivation for the next day’s tasks. This lockdown and isolation does not help. I cannot wait to mix with friends again.

This is my routine now. I try to busy myself. I allow myself one day of grief after the visit, then I try to keep my mind and body busy. Walking and walking until I tire. School work prep. Box sets. Zoom meetings, Zoom teaching. This is the limbo land and routine  I’m existing in at the moment. Until the next visit.

Keeping Your Child Active

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While younger children may be more inclined to burn off energy by running around, especially during play with their friends, you want to nurture this activity to help them remain fit and healthy as they grow up. Looking into ways that you can promote an active lifestyle without turning it into a chore, or something that they find boring, can help them to enjoy staying active, as well as provide some great opportunities for getting outdoors and spending time together as a family.

Active Toys

Children learn to develop their skills via play, which is why the type of toys that you buy your child can impact their growth tremendously. To encourage your child to engage in more active or outdoor play, you may want to consider toys for the right age from Wicked Uncle. This can allow them to begin to discover games or skills that incorporate exercise. Something as simple as a child’s first bike can help them to discover a love of cycling which can be great for both travel and keeping fit. This can also allow you to venture out as a family, exploring the local area, with the journey becoming part of the adventure. 

Clubs

As your child grows up and starts school, a number of clubs may be offered to them, both by their learning provider as well as other institutions. Encouraging your child to sign up for sports clubs can enable them to learn more about social interactions and keep fit. Some other clubs your child may join might also provide them with life skills, such as the ability to swim. Children can often make lifelong friends by taking part in these clubs, as well as developing their abilities. Many children who attend sports clubs from when they are young often go on to continue enjoying and participating in that sport, even into adulthood.

Combination with a Balanced Diet

While keeping active is important for your child to grow up fit and healthy, their diet cannot be neglected. Even when undertaking exercise, poor food choices can still cause weight gain, as well as other health problems which may affect their enjoyment and longevity. By providing your child with correctly portioned food, rich in lean proteins, healthy fats, and plenty of fruit and vegetables, you will be enabling them to make better food choices as they grow up, as well as to provide their insides with the correct vitamins and minerals they require to function properly. It is also important, after activity, that you do not overcompensate by giving them an increased number of calories. 

While processed or greasy food should be kept to a minimum, these may be incorporated into your child’s diet to allow them to practice moderation, as well as to avoid binging on forbidden foods once they reach an age where they have more autonomy over purchasing food.

Considering ways to keep your child active and healthy now can help them to grow up with a good relationship with both food and exercise. 

Collaborative post with our brand partner.