Category Archives: Health

Living with Alzheimer’s – I am an Essential Caregiver by Chris Suich

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At last, I’m Bob’s ‘essential care giver’!

It has been a tumultuous battle this year for me and many thousands more up and down the country who have been desperately fighting to see their loved ones in care homes for a year and more. Our loved one’s mental health and well-being have not being considered; the laws that are there to protect the vulnerable have been ignored. I was reading recently that there is a catastrophic hidden cost of Covid because many dementia sufferers have simply given up, refused food, and died because they do not understand why their loved ones have stopped coming to see them. Despair and loneliness the silent killer.
My husband went into care just a week before the first lockdown when there was no vaccine and limited knowledge about how to halt this pandemic’s spread. I understood why I wasn’t allowed in and resorted to waving from the road or at the window with the British spirit of ‘ stiff upper lip’ and put my own agonies aside as this terrible Covid 19 meant we all had sacrifices to make. I was kept away, not able to hold his hands –even outside in the summer when the R rate was low, even though I was willing to wear PPE and do anything else required.  Then he caught Covid inside the home but fought and got better from it. This was devastating and the site was closed – all window visits stopped and I heard nothing for two months until I begged the GP to check on him.

Today we are in a very different position; so it makes no sense why some care homes cannot follow the latest government guidance of April 2021 and allow indoor visits mitigating risk, using lateral flow tests and PPE for all care homes everywhere.

For my part, I have been well supported by the founders of John’s Campaign – Julia Jones and Nicci Gerrard, as well as Leigh and Day solicitors and Rights for Residents founders Diane Mayhew and Jenny Morrison. Their steadfast advice and ability to cut through the legislation to make it clear and understandable has been invaluable. The publicity they have commanded on media, TV and radio raising the profile of care home visiting and the articulate way Jenny spoke to the Harriet Harman  select committee recently has been both humbling and a cause for jubilation. She spoke for me and for everyone.

I did everything I could to try to persuade the manager to let me in. I explained about ‘end of life’ being 6-12 months not just imminent death. The guidance states this and also that visits should be facilitated. But to be brutally honest, it wasn’t until we sought legal advice and sent a letter that a meeting with the Regional manager was organised which resulted in making me an essential care giver. In addition, Joe, our eldest son has been made a  designated visitor when he can get freed up from his shifts in the hospital. There is a very detailed personalised risk assessment. I have PCR test and a  lateral flow with the carers and home staff weekly and another lateral flow test every time I visit. It is a small inconvenience. I can now see my Bob for two whole hours twice a week in his room. I am ecstatic.

Much has changed. He doesn’t ask to hold my hand anymore he’s forgotten how to hold hands. I still hold his though and stroke his hands and face. He doesn’t know who I am anymore but he knows I’m ‘lovely’. He rarely understands but he seems content and searches my face and loves it when I smile. I play him lots of music. The tracks from his youth. The bands he actually booked when he was President of the Entertainment Committee whilst at Sheffield University in the 70s. Our youngest son still in Australia has suggested a playlist.
I try to keep to a routine. He likes a hot chocolate and I feed it to him at 3 pm in a beaker every time I visit. I give him chocolate buttons on his tongue. I always play ‘Oblah  Dee Oblah dah’ and he has started to la la la which I’m thrilled  about. I think he’s happy when I’m there, he chitter chats in a completely non-sensical way but I go along with it all. I’m trying to get a little bit back from him and I’m succeeding. He looks better and is not so agitated. He lets me put his cardigan on without a fight and brush his teeth with a soft brush. He does still call out randomly and hallucinate but generally he’s content. I too am content. I can check he’s clean, his room is kept nice and he’s as healthy as can be expected. The carers are kind and courteous to me. I thank them. They cannot fail to see the bond between us. He’s still there deep inside and he does come back to me a little every visit.
So today I had another visit and it does us both good. I left him wrapped in the memory blanket with the pictures of our family on it.
I am very lucky to have this precious time and I pray that everyone will see their loved ones soon, before it’s too late.

5 reasons to start lifting weights in 2021

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Are you considering lifting weights? Maybe you’re worried about looking too bulky, or you’re concerned it won’t fit into your regular training program – whatever your reasons for avoiding weights so far, the truth is, in terms of fitness, you’re missing out.

Lifting weights is beneficial for everyone, regardless of their age or gender. Of course, most of us gravitate towards the cardio machines at the gym, but in terms of overall health and mental wellbeing weight training ticks all the boxes.

Here we’ll explore 5 reasons to start lifting weights in 2021.

You can workout at home

Whether you’re living in a small space, or you’re on a tight budget, not everyone can afford to fill their home with pricey cardio equipment. And not everyone enjoys running in all weathers and in public. Incorporating weightlifting into your daily workout routine means you can have access to gym equipment like quality cast iron kettlebells at home as well as hand weights and dumbbells. All these options allow you to create diverse and challenging weight training programs. Encouraging you to push your limits, focus on your strength and build on your muscle mass. Weight training is convenient and accessible for everyone.

You’ll sleep better

When we push ourselves and take regular exercise, we sleep better. It’s a fact. So, if your exercise routines have taken a bit of a hit since going into lockdown or due to your gym closing, your sleep may not be as refreshing or as deep as you’re used to. Studies have shown that those who focus on weight training sleep much deeper and wake fewer times in the night when compared to those who don’t exercise at all. Sleep is important for the muscle repair process, so the more you get – the better. 

Your clothes will fit you better

Whether you’re trying to lose weight or not, when you start lifting weights, you’re stripping back fat and revealing muscle, which means your clothes will fit and look better on you. It sounds perplexing. But building muscle may help you lose fat more effectively than cardio-focused exercise alone. Just remember to watch your diet and you’ll soon notice your progress.

Lift for your mental health

All forms of exercise are known to release endorphins, a chemical that triggers a feeling of contentment and positivity and weightlifting is no exception. Interestingly, weightlifting has also been connected to strengthening mental health and helping people who suffer from anxiety and depression. You don’t have to be an Olympic weight lifter to feel the benefits. Weightlifting means increased confidence and a stronger mental outlook.

Your bones will also benefit

Weightlifting and strength training can help reduce the risk of bone fractures and other skeletal problems by increasing bone density. Studies have shown that strength training also reduces the risk of osteoporosis, and as it’s an effective form of training to reduce fat, there’ll be less weight and pressure on your joints.

Final thoughts…

As you can see, there are plenty of reasons to pick up those dumbbells and kettlebells and start weight training. What are you waiting for? 

 

Collaborative post with out brand partner.

Living with Alzheimer’s – The Fight Goes on by Chris Suich

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Today I am watching the morning news about a gentleman called John. He had just passed away and was over a hundred years old.  He was on the news now because he had been talking about his loneliness in his care home just before Christmas and people had sent him Christmas cards and lovely messages which helped him overcome this. His wife had died of Covid 19 in March and they had been married 70 years. It was a sad story. It made me think of Bob and how lonely he must feel in his care home.

It is 300 days since I last held his hands or even had any meaningful close contact.  The care home has stopped all visits even looking through the window at him. This is since the second lockdown in November. No Christmas visits.

He  caught Covid. It was 2 weeks after the Lockdown and then he miraculously fought it and got better from it, only mild symptoms. I asked our GP to go in and check him. She confirmed this but said he was very frail. I know this. I have to see this on my weekly Skype for 30 minutes. This is all the contact I am allowed. It is very upsetting for both of us.

Bob does not understand where I am. He looks around the room for me. How cruel is that for his brain? He can hear my voice and thinks I am in the room. He said once, ‘It’s magic,’ because he doesn’t understand the screen and how I can be on it. He reaches for me. At other times he is agitated and tells me ‘She’s dead, dead, dead’ or ‘Shut up.’ I carry on showing him round the house, playing him some records of his favourite tracks, telling him I love him and Joe and Edd send him a kiss. I wave and blow kisses to the screen. Often there is no response. His eyes are not looking. He is staring but not focussing. Sometimes he seems to be trying to dredge up some memory of me but I am not physically there or touching him so he cannot fathom it.

I have not been idle in my quest to see him. I have gone through all the government guidance. It is updated regularly. Window visits can go ahead. Pod visits can go ahead. PPE guidance needs to be followed and personalised risk assessments done. I point it out but that’s all I can do.

The recent third Lockdown has not helped me. The R rate is low where I live in rural Lincolnshire. My headteacher has agreed to me working from home. Keeping safe for Bob just in case I get the phone call. Teaching on Zoom is not easy.

I have alerted my Admiral nurse and my Social worker and the home manager that Bob is ‘end of life’. I have given them a letter from my GP.  New guidance ‘Rules during Lockdown’ p 5 states that exceptional circumstances such as ‘end of life is a compassionate reason for me to have visits and not just at the very end of life. It states that I am allowed to leave home to visit a care home (it is a walk from my home). It directs the reader to the latest guidance which was 19 December 2020 updated from 1 December 2020. There is a section on exceptional circumstances 2.4

The key message states ‘Visits in exceptional circumstances such as ‘end of life’ should always be supported and enabled and not just at the very end of life.’

A December letter from the care home described exceptional circumstances as imminent death – the last 48 hours and not 6-12 months. They said they will let me know when this 48 hours is by phone and a visit will be ‘timed, appointment only and 2m away’

Obviously, this is horrendous. The GP has been great and has spoken to the home  to confirm Bob has months to live in her opinion.  We believe this too because the trajectory of decline has been profound. I believe his illness has declined more quickly because he has not had the stimulation from myself visiting him. She agreed with us that the home would find it difficult to predict Bob’s last 48 hours as she would too. I am terrified I won’t see Bob for a meaningful visit before he dies. Everyone knows this, including the home. I am tired of their empathy or that their ‘hands are tied.’

Today after a discussion with the Social Worker and Admiral nurse – both amazingly supportive,  the manager rang me to say her regional manager will allow me a window visit weekly if  the tests for Bob’s unit comes back negative in the next day or two. They were all negative a few days before.

Surely I could have been having  window visits in any case as the virus does not jump through glass.

When the vaccine gets to his unit it will protect residents and carers. Most have already had the virus; surely they will have some anti-bodies?

So I wait until the unit have had the vaccine and then wait the 3 weeks for the protection – which will be another month – then I want to visit Bob in his room having had a negative test myself and wearing PPE. I think I am more than reasonable. I hope I am not too late.

I was on BBC news in November at 6 pm and 10 pm. It was my last window visit. It is a harrowing film but truthful. Alison Holt, health journalist is following my story. A local councillor got in touch; she had worked with Bob in his local government role for many years and she is beavering away in the background. I have had messages from friends in London that Bob went to university with many moons ago.

The Human Rights law has been broken – right to a family life, the Equality Act never adhered to – and as I am appointed his voice via the Deprivation of Liberty as he has no mental  capacity as well as POA I am trying to fight for what he would want – which is me!

Sadly, there are thousands more like me. Many didn’t win this battle in time.

Living with Alzheimer’s – It’s Nearly Christmas, Bob by Chris Suich

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‘ Hello, Bob, hello. It’s Chris, darling. Wake up, it’s Chris. I’ve come to see you. I ‘ve brought you presents; some cider, some chocolate Santa’s, videos of The Snowman, and some Disney films. ‘

‘It is 3rd December.’

‘It’s nearly Xmas, Bob’.  The first one without him at home, I think. I’ll be home, it’ll be just another day. I’m OK with it.

I haven’t seen Bob for a month. I have been very anxious.
It was the second Lockdown and his Care home was closed to even window visits. I tried to persuade them to let me keep coming – to have a window visit for 30 minutes weekly. It was my lifeline and Bob’s stimulation; to keep him going, to try to hold onto a fragment of me for his memory. I needed to see him. It helped me to be less anxious; to help me sleep, to keep the pain subsided,  that pervaded my chest. I pleaded that Covid could not jump through glass. The government guidance said window visits should still occur, but it didn’t matter. I wrote to the regional manager, even Matt Hancock. The great letter writer, that’s me  but mostly there was nothing, because the government guidance was just that – guidance.

Then the regional manager rang me to say that Covid was in the home and public health had advised them to be in lockdown. This was almost 2 weeks into the England lockdown. I asked him if it was in Bob’s building but he wasn’t specifically sure. That was Friday. On the Monday the nurse rang to say they were trying to swab Bob but he wasn’t having it. No, I thought, he wouldn’t take too kindly to having a stick pushed up his nose! By Thursday when the phone rang and I heard the words ‘duty to inform you ‘ I knew he’d got it. But the miracle was he had only mild symptoms. He has got over it. I think. 4 weeks without seeing him!

So now he is at the window. He is asleep in the Stirling chair lolling to one side. Coughing a little but mainly asleep. He is frail. His cheeks have that hollow look. I talk to him the whole time trying to stimulate some recognition. I say Joe sends a kiss and Eddie sends a kiss all the way from Australia. I tell him I love him and I talk about a load of nothing. He briefly opens his eyes and there is a brief recollection that I think he knows me. I stay the full 30 minutes under the big black umbrella because it is pouring rain and has been all day. My feet are cold and wet in my boots. I am stood in the garden looking into the window, bobbing up and down, trying to get to his eye level. The window is shut– he probably can’t hear me anyway, but I have to come.

I know in a month he has taken another dip but just seeing him peacefully sleeping gives me the contentment I need. It is very difficult. I asked about the rapid testing that the government said would be rolled out to care homes. The manager did not know about them. I said it’s been all over the news. I take a test. I get in PPE. The text comes back negative and I can see Bob. But no, there was no news on that in this care home. I am sure that this will not get to Lincolnshire anytime soon. Then there is the Covid outbreak in the home. Maybe that will make it even more difficult to get inside to see him at his room if he can’t get up. He was in bed for weeks whilst he was isolated and that comes with its own problems and risks. I just want to see him properly. To touch him. No touching since the 12 March. No hand holding, no hugs, no kisses.

I rang the GP – could she help me if he was end of life? Would I have more chance of seeing him properly, have a meaningful visit? I asked the care home when they considered end of life visiting. The last two days. The NHS nursing guidelines say it is  if a person is not expected to live a year. I now have a fight to be able to see Bob properly before the last two days.

The little tree is put up from the garden, we recycle it every year. It is decorated with all the baubles we collected over the last 40 years. Bob would want me to carry on the same and I am. Dr Joe is working nights including Christmas Eve and Eddie is still in Australia. I hope to see Bob, that would be lovely!

breathe ilo Review: The Revolutionary New Fertility Tracker

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 breathe ilo review, fertility, fertility tracker

TTC (trying to conceive) is not fun at all, more than that, it can be very expensive. Peeing on sticks and taking your temperature is a faff and can be time-consuming. Never mind the cost to the environment. Breathe ilo has now launched so we thought we would give it a review. breathe ilo is the world’s first fertility tracker that uses breath analysis (CO2) to identify ovulation patterns.

The new technology signals a shift so women no longer need to track their cycles by urinating on a stick or by measuring their temperature early in the morning. The innovative device works by simply breathing and displays the results in just 60 seconds, with no consumables or maintenance needed. Through consistent daily use, the breath analysis tracker empowers women to understand their body and cycle phases better.

The breathe ilo app, which is compatible with iOS and Android, features a calendar that displays a clear overview of fertile days and a cycle diary to learn more about individual cycle patterns. breathe ilo’s cycle diary also offers the possibility to document further cycle symptoms like breast tenderness, PMS, cervical mucus, or headaches to help prepare women for their next cycle.

So, does it work and is it easy to use? Yes and yes. Quite a few women have got pregnant using it already and we expect that number to rise. You charge the device, download the app and then you breathe into the device and can log your cycle. It is so easy and convenient. The device is small and stylish. It’s tracking is different from conventional methods, Breathe ILO precisely detects a woman’s menstruation cycle. It uses a live tracking system, which uses an AI-based learning algorithm which improves all of the time. The device also works with irregular cycles. It can detect five out of six fertile days on average. You can also choose what  time of day you use the device, unlike other methods which need to be done at the same time each day. I cannot recommend the breathe ilo enough. It takes the stress out of cycle tracking and is so easy to use. Full marks.

With the option to buy a device for £259.00 or rent for £29.90 a month, breathe ilo is available to purchase exclusively now at  www.breatheilo.com

 

Living with Alzheimer’s – Bob has Covid by Chris Suich

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The phone rang loudly punctuating the silence in the house. My stomach lurched wondering if this was the phone call where I would have to jump in the car to get to Bob as quickly as I could. A solemn voice softly spoken, ‘Duty to inform . . . Bob has tested positive.’ How awful. So he’d got it anyway and I never got to comfort him because of this threat.
It has been 252 days since I hugged my husband Bob. I have never felt such a mix of emotions. I have been rendered utterly powerless.  I have tried everything I can to have some contact.

At the beginning of this nightmare I stood in the street shouting up to the first floor window whilst two carers walked with him towards it. Then we progressed to bringing him downstairs to the Reception area where he sat in the wheelchair looking out at me through a closed window. Then I moved him to a care home that didn’t charge nearly a thousand pounds extra third party top-up fee which, as a part-time teacher, I couldn’t afford.

It was July. There was now a chance to see him outside for thirty mins under a canopy but strictly 2 metres apart – and definitely no touching. But then the carer was OK to touch him without PPE – but not me. I asked why ? I was living on my own, avoiding shops, summer holidays (so off work) but my hands were not deemed safe to hold my husband’s hands. He stretched out for them. He’d shout ‘Chris, Chris,’ and try to stand up in his wheelchair to get to me. I had to watch  from 2 metres  away, getting more and more upset. I begged for another visit at the weekend. Thirty minutes once a week was not enough. I was granted another visit at the window on a Sunday.

I read everything I could about the government guidance and wondered why things were not changing. Our son, Joe, a Covid doctor felt if I saw Bob outside in PPE (and as a frontline worker I was permitted a test which was always negative), I could mitigate the risk.  That wasn’t accepted either.

Meanwhile, Bob’s health and well-being was impacted. He became very sleepy. I’d visit at 11.10 am but he was often still in bed asleep.  I changed the time to 2.10 pm but he often was sleepy then. He wasn’t responsive, barely knew what was happening, and couldn’t focus on me or follow a conversation. He looked clean and tidy but his personality had gone. Bob had disappeared he was a shell of himself.

I wrote letters, several citing new guidance, the breaking of laws such as the Equality Act or Human Rights Act – the right to a family life. My local MP wrote to the regional manager and I wrote to Helen Whately, Minister for Social Care. I wrote to author, Nicci Gerrard after reading her article in the Observer one Sunday evening. She invited me to join a closed group, John’s Campaign set up in her father’s name. The carers on there became a great source of information, comfort and support. I was phoned up by the BBC’s Alison Holt who was doing a piece on how this nightmare had affected me personally. My name had been put forward, would I do a story? Yes,  I certainly would, and I had some film to show my trauma when Bob would scratch the window or shout for me to come in. The article was shown on the main BBC news at 6pm and the 10 o’clock news. Bob would have been so proud of myself and our son, Joe.

Over the past few weeks there seems to be a sea change and up and down the country managers are trying to include visitors safely, in sanitised rooms, pods, using Perspex screens or even plastic overalls. But the way forward for visitors is fragmented; it is pretty much up to the care home . The new guidance is exactly that, guidance. I rang Public Health England asking if they had sent information regarding visiting protocols to Bob’s home. No, not at the moment, they should follow government guidance. So I wrote to the regional manager myself to ask that. It was then that I found out there was a Covid outbreak.
How did that happen? No visitors still. So all that time, when I wanted to see Bob and hold his hands in the summer –  when the R rate was low and I was told I was a risk, it didn’t matter anyway because he was destined to get it from within the home. I know it spreads like wild fire. PPE protocols must be rigorous.
It is now a waiting game. Can Bob get over this? I hope so but I am worried, he is fragile, has impaired health already and respiratory illness.
Joe knows this disease, he has been on Covid wards since this it started. It might start mild but it can turn very quickly.
I have been told I can see my husband at end of life. What a shame.  We have lost so much time and all in vain.

Australian Fitness Expert Shares Top 10 Takeaways From Over 100 Celebrity and Model Diets and Workouts

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fitness expert, fitness and diet tips, lose weight, Australian personal trainer and nutritionist Rachael Attard is sharing the most coveted secrets from celebrities and models – the exercise and diet plans that are responsible for their amazing figures. The influential fitness expert has gathered and studied the workout and diet regimens of more than 100 celebrities and models, and is now sharing her top 10 takeaways to inspire and educate others.

“Celebrities are in the spotlight and constantly demonstrating the highest standards of health and fitness,” said Attard. “Their exercise and diet routines are among the top questions I get from clients, so I’ve taken a close look at their strategies to share with others who might want to try them for the same amazing results.”

TOP WORKOUTS:

Cardio is top-of-mind for everyone when it comes to weight loss, maintenance and getting toned, and celebrities are no exception. Boxing is the go-to cardio workout for many, including leading ladies Jennifer Aniston, Salma Hayek, Kate Beckinsale and Sophie Turner; singer Dua Lipa and models Hailey Bieber and Lais Ribeiro.

Low impact exercise options such as Pilates or yoga are popular among singer Dua Lipa; actresses Margot Robbie and Emma Stone; and iconic model Naomi Campbell, who enjoy this mindful option following days of intense cardio or strength training sessions.

Among the more alternative fitness options, superstar singers Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift are able to burn calories while rehearsing for tours with dance-based cardio, giving them the toned legs and defined abs on stage that are the envy of everyone.

Celebrities who call Los Angeles home, including model Kaia Gerber, are likely to go hiking – taking advantage of the many trails with close views of the infamous Hollywood sign.

Resistance training, also known as strength training, is the exercise of choice for model Sofia Richie; actresses Penelope Cruz, Emma Stone, Kate Beckinsale and Sophie Turner; and singer Adele who revealed a major weight loss earlier this year. This method utilizes resistance to muscular contraction to build muscle and improve anaerobic endurance.

TOP DIETS:

Among the most consistent diet tips from celebrities and models is to drink plenty of water. Countless celebrities attribute hydration to not only getting them through workouts, but making them feel full while also ensuring healthy skin.

Smoothies are among the most popular breakfast and lunch choices for celebrities, including singer Ariana Grande, Australian model Belle Lucia, former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham and actresses Emma Stone, Kate Beckinsale and Sophie Turner.

A dose of healthy fat in the form of avocado on toast is the go-to lunch for Pussy Cat Doll and Masked Singer host Nicole Scherzinger, while a commitment to regular juice cleanses has proven successful for actresses including Salma Hayek.

An eating pattern that cycles between periods of fasting an eating is a current trend called intermittent fasting, which is popular among actresses Vanessa Hudgens and Scarlett Johansson. Regardless of the fasting cycle chosen, each option reduces caloric intake for weight loss or maintenance.

“When it comes to clean eating and counting calories, celebrities are committed to a consistent lifestyle of healthy choices, but fall victim to cheat meals just like the rest of us,” said Attard. “Celebrities almost unanimously agree that pizza is their downfall, including actress Vanessa Hudgens.”

Rachael Attard is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist who holds a Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Queensland, a Cert III and IV from the Australian Institute of Fitness, and a Certificate in Sports Nutrition from the International Society of Sports Nutrition. She is best known for her 3 Steps to Lean Legs Program, developed from her years of training women and helping them feel good in their skin, and fall in love with exercise and their bodies. Her in-depth blog post featuring the diet and exercise regimens of 100 celebrities and models can be found online, at https://www.rachaelattard.com/category/blog.

 

Living with Alzheimers – Will Bob know me tomorrow? by Chris Suich

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I am anxious. Wondering what I will find at the home tomorrow. Will Bob know me again? My window visit is due at 2.10pm. It has changed from 11.10am because it was difficult as Bob was still sleepy. Sometimes, mostly on other days, he wasn’t out of bed. I was told this was person centred care if the patient chose or wanted to get up later they were able to. I tried to argue that he never stayed in bed till after 12 and he was up with me only 9 months ago at 6.30am and went to bed with me at 9pm without sleeping at all in the day. He slept all night at the home too so I was concerned about getting bed sores as that’s an awful lot of hours to spend laying down.

If he was brought to me in a wheelchair for a garden or cafe visit 2 m away (with a minder),  he was often falling asleep or in a kind of unfocused stupor where I couldn’t engage him. I asked if he was depressed or had given up the will to live. I had never seen him like this for so many visits week after week.

I was told by the nurse manager of the dementia unit it’s the onset of the disease, the way it progresses the way it is. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was the medication, the anti-psychotic drugs that he started in March. They are accumulative. Had he had the medication reviewed during covid? Had anyone outside the home seen him and this deterioration?

Two weeks ago he had a kind of spasm and his legs went rigid and he slid down the wheelchair. Luckily I was with my eldest son, a doctor. He was very concerned as he hadn’t seen his father in a while and was worried about his decline  and said he would be reviewed and observed if he was in hospital.

But he wasn’t, he was in a home and even the psychiatrist’s dementia nurse – who knew him since he was diagnosed – had tried to see him but was not allowed access.

So I rang the GP and asked her if anyone had actually seen him, not had a phone call or a Teams meeting but actually donned PPE and assessed him. No they hadn’t. I insisted there and then that a doctor visit him and advised them what I was most worried about. I said that I need to know if the medication was causing the sleeping and decline or the disease. I was really worried and concerned about the safeguarding aspect if medics were not getting access when the families requested it. The same day the duty nurse went in and later a GP – and a GP is scheduled in 2 weeks .

He is off all the dementia medication and he is a lot better. We went to see him 3 days ago and we cried with joy as he recognised us both and called our names out over and over . He was more alert and focused.

But it was a window visit as the home say he is not safe in a wheelchair, so we can’t see him face to face 2 m away . I think this rigidity has now subsided due to being taken off medications and the GP will confirm when she sees him next time.

This is such a blow because he cannot hear or see us very well at the window.  If it just a chair problem to overcome there must be one we can use just to get him out the door? It’s a good job I have a ‘ can do’ attitude as these problems seem insurmountable to some.

Nothing is insurmountable to me and whilst Bob is alive I will fight for him. It is an uphill battle.

What worries me more is how many others don’t have a ‘ me’ to ask questions and check well being and challenge accountability.