Category Archives: Weddings

Bridal Style Terminology Every Bride-to-be Should Recognize.

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wedding planning, wedding, weddings,When searching for a wedding dress online or in-store, many brides may come across unfamiliar terms. While this could be due to a multitude of reasons, it’s essential to understand these terms, as they often imply a wide range of bridal styles.

Particularly for brides searching for designer bridal wedding gowns online, knowing and understanding these terms may also make it easier to find her ideal dress. However, this knowledge also helps brides shopping in-store when meeting with bridal consultants to discuss what dresses to try on. 

Silhouettes

The silhouette of her gown is the first aspect a bride should narrow in on. Think of it as the outline of the dress, its overall shape. It tells how fitted a gown is and whether it hugs certain areas of the body tighter. A few typical silhouettes are:

  • Mermaid: A mermaid style silhouette is fitted at the bust, waist, and hips while flaring out at the knee. The flare gives the effect of a mermaid tail (hence the name). This style flatters curvy body types or women with wider hips than shoulders. 
  • A-line: An a-line silhouette is fitted through the waist while flaring out softly to create an ‘A’ shape, which offers increased mobility. This style works well for all body types.
  • Ball gown: This silhouette is more on the extravagant side. The ball gown often hugs in at the waist or hips and dramatically flares out for an hourglass effect, hence why this shape works well on women with an hourglass body shape. Ball gowns look great on thin women or women with broader shoulders as it gives the illusion of wider hips. 
  • Sheath: A sheath silhouette is a perfect alternative to a voluminous dress. The style hugs the body and drops straight to the floor, which elongates the bride’s shape. Petite women may find this style flattering.
  • Jumpsuit: This style is a one-piece with a top and long connected pants. There are versions that look great on all body types.

Necklines

The next element is to learn about different necklines. Simply put, the neckline is the top edge of a dress near the neck and chest. Some of the most popular necklines include:

  • Sweetheart: Just like the name suggests, the sweetheart neckline resembles the top half of a heart and gives the bride a leaner appearance. This neckline is very popular on strapless dresses. 
  • High neck: A high neckline dress provides the most coverage of any bridal style and comes up to the base of the neck or above.
  • Off-the-shoulder: The off-the-shoulder neckline is perfect for summer weddings, as it highlights the collarbones and shoulders with its draped sleeves. 
  • V-neck: A v-neckline is ideal for brides looking for the appearance of a longer torso. V-neck dresses appear in a ‘V’ shape and usually have straps or sleeves.
  • Straight across and Square: These necklines are similar in that the dress’s edge lies in a straight line across a women’s decollete. The difference is whether the gown is strapless or not.

Sleeve Styles

Depending on the season, a bride may opt for a dress with sleeves. Some of the most popular sleeve styles include: 

  • Long sleeves: These are more of a formal style and come down to the wrist without being over-the-top. Within the category of long-sleeved dresses is variation in sleeve style. Some dresses have fitted long sleeves made from just lace, while others feature illusion lace. Bell sleeves are another option; made popular in the 1970s but are currently making a comeback. 
  • Off-the-shoulder: These sleeves are great for highlighting the bride’s shoulders and collarbones in a very chic way. 
  • Cap sleeves: These are very short and flutter from the shoulder but does not feature any fabric underneath the arm.
  • Strapless: This style means there are no straps or sleeves on the dress, highlighting the neck, shoulders, and collarbone. For a traditional bride, long gloves look elegant with a strapless ball gown.
  • Puff sleeve: A puff sleeve is fitted at the bottom of the wrist with elastic to keep it in place. It offers a youthful look and can sometimes look bohemian if done right. 
  • Spaghetti strap: These are more of a dainty detail and hold up the dress without covering the arms.

Waistlines

The waistline may seem insignificant compared to the other elements of a wedding dress. However, it adds a signature defining area to the silhouette. Some popular waistline styles to consider are: 

  • Basque waistline: The seams on the basque create a ‘U’ or ‘V’ shape in the front and are on hourglass ball gowns.
  • Empire waistline: This waistline sits just below the bust and is high and raised, creating a tall and slender appearance. 
  • Dropped waistline: This waistline drops to the thighs, creating a leaner and longer torso. This is not necessarily the same as the mermaid style.
  • Medium/natural waistline: This waistline sits at the bride’s natural waist, offering more comfort. 

Trains

The train of a wedding dress adds extra length to the end of the dress. The most common train styles include: 

  • Sweep: This is the shortest train for a dress, at about 10 inches long, and is perfect for outdoor weddings. 
  • Court: The court train is the same size as the sweep, except it extends from the waist rather than the hem. 
  • Chapel: This is 3 feet from the waist and is perfect for brides who want simple.
  • Cathedral: This train is 6 feet from the waist and suits indoor weddings the best.

Terminology Is Helpful 

With so much variation in the style of wedding dresses, researching and understanding bridal terminology before shopping can make the experience much less stressful. It’s helpful for brides to understand what they want but also for when it comes to explaining what kind of dress they’re looking for with ease. 

 

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6 Bachelorette Party Do’s and Don’ts

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Is Getting Married An Achievement?, wedding diary, engagement, engagement ring, getting married, planning a wedding, marriage, engagement,So, your childhood best friend has found the person of their dreams, and now a wedding is on the cards. While she’s running around checking out fancy cakes and organizing dress fittings, there’s one thing you need to do. Yep, plan the bachelorette party of course! One last celebration before she ties the knot. If you need a little inspiration, read on for some ideas for planning the best bachelorette party!

Do Choose a Theme

Choosing a theme for the party is a good place to start. Not only are themed parties super fun, but planning a fancy dress theme can save the stress of buying an expensive new outfit. Plus, the photos will look fab! There are hundreds of different themes to choose from, and if fancy dress isn’t for you, you can still have themed decor so the place looks awesome. Make sure you put some thought into the bachelorette party supplies, and remember- a little goes a long way!

Don’t Plan It Alone

Planning the party can be a big responsibility and can cause unnecessary stress if you do it alone. Make sure you discuss the plans with the rest of the squad. This way, you can share the responsibilities so the pressure isn’t put on just one person. Planning parties is a lot more fun and stress free when it’s done with others.

Do Listen to the Bride

This is something which is often forgotten, but make sure you listen to what the bride wants! If she cringes at the idea of a stripper, then it’s probably best not to get her one! After all, it is her bachelorette party. It’s often worth asking the bride what she wants to do for her party, or if she has a specific theme in mind. Even if the party is a surprise, pick up on hints or think about what she usually likes and go with that.

Don’t Over Plan

Some people think a bachelorette party means an extensive, week-long celebration packed with activities. However, this is not (always) the case. Everyone has a life of their own, and it’s not always possible to drop plans because your friend’s sister is getting married. If you’ve all got busy schedules, don’t feel you need to plan a full week of celebrations, a weekend or even just one evening may be more suited for you- and that’s ok! No bachelorette party is the same. Check out these super fun and easy wedding themed games you can play at home. Some of these are sure to make you giggle. This doesn’t take too much planning and will keep the costs of the party low.

Do Stick to a Budget

One of the most important things when it comes to party planning is sticking to a budget. There is nothing worse than getting stressed over massive budgets, or forking out loans to pay for the perfect party (even if the bride is your bestie). This is another reason to talk to the rest of the squad and see what the general budget is to get an idea before you start booking lavish holidays. Also, sticking to a budget ensures all of the squad can make it to the party; don’t miss out because of expenses. 

Do Focus on Having Fun

The biggest ‘Do’ of all- enjoy yourselves and have fun! This will (hopefully) be the bride’s last ever bachelorette party, so make sure it’s laughter filled. The bride won’t mind if you haven’t planned an expensive week away, as long as all of her favorite girls are together to make memories before she says ‘I do’.

Hopefully this list has given you some thought and ideas on planning the best bachelorette party you can. Oh, and one last thing: take plenty of photos so you can look back on the memories, even if you can’t remember most of the night!

 

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4 Guidelines to Buy a Comfortable Wedding Dress for Your Beach Wedding

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Picking your wedding dress is nothing short of an experience. A Wedding dress is perhaps the most iconic thing of your big day. Yes, finding a wedding dress that ticks all the boxes within your budget isn’t easy. When opting for a wedding dress (especially, if you are going to marry on the beach), there are a few things you need to consider. 

These guidelines help to assure your wedding dress is comfortable, practical and won’t drag on the sand. Sure you are not going pick the same dress you would if you were going to marry in a church. With that said, following we are going to share some tips that will help you pick the ideal dress for the beach setting. 

  1. Show Your Style Sense

Beach Wedding Dresses don’t have a lot of restrictions. Yes, there are some style rules you have to follow. Not everything is ideal for a beach setting. Sure you don’t have to restrict yourself to short flocky dress category found in most bridal stores. 

You can go for something a little exotic if you want. Just make sure can walk in the sand wearing it. Why don’t you try something traditional? Just make sure you have a short dress because a long dress will drag in the sand and get ruined. 

  1. Floaty and Flimsy

Floaty and whimsical dresses are ideal for beaches. They are romantic and stylish. Moreover, they complement the movement of the ocean and bohemian vibe surrounding beach weddings. Not to forget, they are practical. These dresses will help you get through the heat and move easily on the beach. Just avoid long sleeves because you don’t want to be sweating when hugging the guests.  

Short wedding dresses are popular among young brides. These dresses also make an excellent choice for beach weddings as they don’t restrict you in any way. They help you to keep cool, are fun and a bit flirty.

  1. Veil

It’s better if you forget the veil because of the breeze. Yes, the wind can snatch away your veil before you get to the aisle. If you have your heart set on having a veil, then go for a short one. It won’t restrict your vision to prove to be too heavy. The closer you get to the ocean, the windier it will be. Some wedding dresses do come with a veil, but they are not meant for the beach. 

  1. Footwear

Another important thing that needs a lot of consideration is wedding footwear. Stilettos won’t fare well in sand. If you are wearing stilettos, make sure you set a boardwalk. It’s better if you wear flats or sandals for the big day. If you want to wear heels, you can save it for the reception. 

The key is, pick something which won’t get too much sand in them. When you are picking something for your big day, just be true to yourself. The wedding is a celebration for you and your significant other. So don’t get carried away because of these petty things. 

 

 

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Port Lympne Hotel and Animal Reserve

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port-lympne-hotel

It was our anniversary and we didn’t want to escape too far but we were looking for something different. We certainly found it at Port Lympne Hotel, Kent and enjoyed a superbly relaxing two-day break.

From the moment we arrived, we were entranced. The reception is housed in the library and the shelves spill with old books – the perfect welcome. The house was  built in 1911 for Sir Philip Sassoon with later additions after WWI and abandoned after WW2. It was in a sorry state when John Aspinall bought it in 1973 to cope with the overspill from his venture Howlett’s Animal Park. The house was restored over a ten year period and the animal reserve began to take shape.

port-lympne-business-of-conservation

The rooms are named after the guests that Sir Philip Sassoon entertained there. We were shown to the Sir Winston Churchill room, overlooking the garden with views beyond the trees to the flatland of Romney Marsh. It was absolutely stunning and a joy to wake early and sit up in bed, enjoying the vista. It was exceptionally quiet, a few bird calls and the odd animal noise from a few animals that start with X but nothing disturbing at all. Bliss.

Our room had a new shower suite but the other rooms retain the original bathrooms from 1911 with art deco porcelain ware and tiles. Quite extraordinary given that most homeowners take on a total revamp once they have purchased a new property. Everything was clean and warm, and most importantly, the bed was comfortable. There was also a plentiful supply of hot drinks and biscuits which will always be a huge plus to me.

port-lympne-churchill-room-view

I was offered a peek into the other rooms: T E Lawrence, Sir Herbert Baker, The Rex Whistler and the two bridal suites – Sir Philip Sassoon and Charles  Chaplin. All were unique and any one of them would be a pleasure to stay in; all had fabulous views.

There are six rooms at the moment and two more were quietly being prepared during our stay.

port-lympne-dining-room

Dinner and breakfast were served in the dining room that was rather breathtaking, even a little intimidating. The mural was painted by Martin Jordan, a self-taught artist and over 200 animals adorn the walls and ceilings. In John Aspinall’s words ‘It is to be a tribute to the heroism of wild animals in the face of their continuing persecution by mankind.’ As we were alone in the room that evening I enjoyed spotting the various species, right down to the butterflies and insects that hide in the cornices and window frames.

port-lympne-bar

The hotel bar was restful and elegant, again with the safari theme but with all the comfort of the house. There is a TV on the wall which is almost the only reminder that the world still exists beyond the grounds.

port-lympne-tent-room

Just off the hall was a reception area, The Whistler Tented Room. Sir Philip commissioned his friend, Rex Whistler, to paint, on canvas, this room in 1933. It is thought to be the best example of his work in existence. The mural suffered badly from damp and decay when the house lay empty and restoration was undertaken by the Tate Gallery. The hotel is a popular wedding venue and this room is a rest area for guests; toilets and cloakrooms are located here. The hotel staff were busy preparing for a wedding that would take place the day following our visit – so we timed things perfectly.

The beautiful  gardens that surround the hotel are tranquil and soothing and if you never strayed toward the animal reserve you would barely know it was there.

One the second night we drove round to Bear Lodge, one of the other types of accommodation at the reserve – glamping on a hill overlooking the bear and black rhino area. Each ‘tent’ sleeps 6 and has simple kitchen and bathroom facilities, and a wood burner for colder evenings. There is a clubhouse and play area so it’s perfect for families.

port-lympne-bear-lodge

We visited the clubhouse to try the Mongolian barbecue we’d heard so much about.  We were shown bowls of three sizes that we were to fill with a choice of  meat and/or fish in one, vegetables another and lastly, noodles and rice. There was a selection of sauces – satay, sweet and sour, curry etc and we were to add a large tablespoon before taking over to the cooking area.

port-lympne-dining-room

It was the perfect portion size and our meal was ready in minutes. You could leave it to the chef or get stuck in – so we did. It was great fun but the heat was intense and I had great admiration for the chef who effortlessly coped with four meals at once, time after time.

mongolian-grill

No matter where your accommodation on the reserve entrance into the parks is included, as is travel on the safari trucks. These run every fifteen minutes and there are various stop-off points along the way so that you can disembark and wander through different sectors of the reserve.

port-lympne-safari-trucks

Private safari tours take place throughout the day and evening and I would definitely make use of these when we visit again. Whereas the trucks follow a given route the safari jeeps go across the terrain among the animals. There are other experiences on offer and you can find more about them on the website.

During our stay the staff were attentive and friendly – the right kind of friendly – not too intrusive and not over chatty but they really were a huge part of the enjoyment of our time there. We spent far too long just sitting and enjoying the view but it was so restful it was hard to drag ourselves away.

We thoroughly enjoyed our break but it would be far too quiet if you are looking for something with a bit of a buzz. As it was, we were glad of the quiet and respite.

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Bad Things That WILL Happen When You Are Planning Your Wedding

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wedding, weddings, wedding venue, london rowing club, wedding planning

Credit: Vanessa Bailey

 

Weddings. There is a reason so many films and books are set during a wedding. They have it all: family, friends, stress, lots of money at stake. My husband and I got so stressed in the run up to our wedding that we both were not sleeping and felt ill. In fact, stress contributed to my husband being hospitalised on our wedding day! But I learned a lot and we ended up getting married and made it all the way to the reception. I took the experience and knowledge and put it all in my wedding planning book.

Weddings are hard work but like everything that is hard work, it tends to be worth it in the end. So here are some bad things that will happen when you are planning your wedding. Keep an eye out for them.

 

Your relationship with some of the people in your life will be changed forever.

This may seem like a big claim but people have egos. There relationship with you may be different from how you see it. Or you may love them just as much, but they don’t fit the role of being a maid of honour or a best man because they are not organised. Some people will take it personally if they are not in the wedding party. Family members will also have their own opinions when it comes to your wedding. If they do not get their way they may hold a grudge or even hold it over you. Kindly point out to these people that the wedding is about you and your partner committing to each other for life. Your wedding is about no one else so if they don’t like the fact you have not invited someone they wanted, or they are trying to bully you into a specific venue, it might be worth reminding them!

 

You will probably fall out completely with at least one person.

Unless you are having a big wedding there will be people you want to invite that you will not be able to. People who do not get invited, or are not invited into the wedding party, might not talk to you again. Ditto those difficult, self-obsessed people who think your wedding is about them. Or those people who just can’t be happy for you. If it is someone you can remove from your life holding the grudge and being bitchy, cut them out. If it is a family member, try to not let it get to you. Ignore them and don’t let them get to you.

 

There will be at least one person who makes it All About Them.

And there is a special place in hell for these selfish people. Either ignore them, tell them off or smile and nod when they are being demanding and rude.

 

It will be stressful.

But as long as you try and limit the damage as much as possible, that is okay. The logistics will be hard but it will all work out in the end. Every now and then take some time off and do something with your fiancé. And never forget why you getting married in the first place.

 

But the most important thing.

Is that you are married by the end of the day and have good memories. Ever notice that in Don’t Tell The Bride it pretty much always works out? That is because in the end you are just happy you pulled it off and that today is the first day of the rest of your life with your new husband/wife. That feeling cannot be beaten. After my husband and I married and we walked back down the aisle it was the most amazing feeling. Ditto walking into our wedding breakfast.

 

So good luck and don’t let the bastards get you down (because that is what they want).

 

If you are getting married then get your hands on a copy of The Wedding Survival Guide: How To Plan Your Big Day Without Losing Your Sanity. It has great advice on planning your perfect wedding. It is also available in Ebook format and is a great guide for wedding planning.

 

 

How to Plan the Perfect Wedding on a Budget


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wedding planning, wedding, weddings,Getting engaged is one of the best things that can happen, isn’t it? From the moment you said ‘yes’ to telling your nearest and dearest, you’re swept up in a whirlwind of romance, energy and excitement. But, as all brides to be have experienced, planning the wedding can bring you back down to earth with a thud. How are you going to afford the day you’re dreaming of? Read on to discover how to plan your prefect wedding on a budget…

Know your budget
The first (and most important) part of planning your perfect wedding on a budget is actually defining it. The average UK wedding now costs an eye watering £21,000, though of course you needn’t spend anywhere near this much! However, it will help to have a good idea of where your upper limit is. Whether you’ve got a small fortune or just £1,500 to spend, there are plenty of suppliers like 77 Diamonds who will let you customise the bits that mean the most to you so that you can stay on track with your spending.

 

Be ruthless with your guest list
The biggest budget blower is a guest list larger than you can afford. So, start by making a list of everyone you and your partner must have in attendance. After that, calculate how much you can spend per head, and add friends and family members accordingly. Just be prepared for the fact you might ruffle a few feathers or cause offence… but there’s nothing stopping you meeting everyone off the guest list for a celebratory drink!

 

Consider second hand or hired
Think you have to spend a fortune to have a wonderful wedding dress or dashing suite? Think again. Websites such as Still White, Sell My Wedding Dress and Preloved allow brides to snap up once-worn dresses at a fraction of the price, including designer and couture gowns. Alternatively, charities like Oxfam, and sites like eBay.co.uk, sell wedding dresses for brides on a budget. The groom can hire his suit too, spending under £200 for full grey tails rather than breaking the bank by purchasing it for good.

Be flexible
Want to save some serious money? Be flexible about when you marry. Due to their popularity, weddings on sunny summer Saturdays cost the most of all, but brides who don’t mind when they tie the knot could save a fortune by marrying in winter or autumn. Better yet, if you can marry on a Friday rather than a Saturday, you’ll save extra cash, and couples getting hitched Sunday to Thursday will make the biggest savings of all.

 

Haggle
All that said, your wedding should feature all the things that are truly important to you. Want a professional photographer to capture the day? Go for it! Is that classic car pulling at your heart strings? Book it! Just be prepared to haggle for what you want: it’s not unreasonable to try to knock the price of your essentials down, even if you feel a little uncomfortable doing so. Just give it a go; after all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

By Patrick Vernon.

Getting Married? Tips to Avoid the Mother-in-Law From Hell By Dr. Deanna Brann

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wedding planning, wedding, weddings,Author of Reluctantly Related Revisited: Breaking Free of the Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law Conflict

Tara was at her wits end. She has been nothing but nice to her fiancé’s mother, but no matter what she does or says it never seems to make a difference. Tara is already on the verge of tears when, out of the blue, her fiancé’s mother shows up at her house.

Without saying hello to Tara, her future mother-in-law Bonnie blurts out in a tone that says this is not up for discussion, “I just stopped by to drop off my wedding guest list. I added a few more people to the list. These people mean so much to me, I just couldn’t leave them off.”

Tara was caught off guard and initially didn’t respond, but when she looked at the list and saw 30 more couples added, she couldn’t stop herself, “Bonnie I understand these people are important to you, but I thought we made it perfectly clear that we have a limited number of people who can attend. We don’t have room for more.”

Glaring at Tara Bonnie’s jaw clenched as she spoke very deliberately, “I know what you said, but these people have to be invited!  It’s bad enough that the wedding is going to be in that really small chapel, and that I’m not good enough to be included in any of the wedding preparations, but to not invite people who really matter to me is not acceptable. If I can’t invite them, well then…I guess I won’t come either. Obviously you also don’t have room for me!” And with that, Bonnie stormed out of the house, leaving Tara standing gaping and speechless.

Tara is about ready to throw her hands up and surrender. Bonnie is relentless with her demands. And these demands are not just about the wedding. These demands are about anything that involves Tara’s fiancé. Ever since Tara and Don became engaged his mother seems to go out of her way to come between them. Bonnie sees nothing wrong with texting her son at all hours, and then calling him when he doesn’t respond, panicked that something has happened to him. She is oblivious to how her words or actions may impact Tara and is often terse with her when she asks Bonnie a question or tries to engage her in conversation. Bonnie will also cry and claim she is just trying to be a part of their lives when Don and Tara attempt to set boundaries with her, claiming that he’s become so distant since he and Tara have been together. And the list goes on and on.

It’s funny when you are around everyone else you feel confident, strong, and capable, and yet, as soon as your future mother-in-law gets within earshot of you all your confidence and strength seem to go out the window. When you have a mother-in-law like Bonnie it is easy to feel overwhelmed.

This type of mother-in-law is one I call Off-the-Wall Wanda. Everything is about her—what she wants, how she feels or how someone has hurt, ignored or upset her in some way. She says things without thinking (or caring) how her words might affect you. She will pull out all the stops to get what she wants, whether that is through manipulation, guilt trips, or passive aggressive behavior. For her, it is all about her.

But what if your future mother-in-law is not as overwhelming as Bonnie, but you still find yourself feeling that she is a bit “overly involved?” Here is Monica’s situation with her fiancé’s mother:

Exasperated Monica starts to cry, “I can’t take much more of your mother!”

Her fiancé Greg wasn’t sure what the problem was with his mom, but he couldn’t stand it when Monica was this upset. “What’s the problem? What did she do?”

Trying to calm down, but escalating with each word, Monica spews out, “She just seems to take over. I’m trying to finish the last minute details for the wedding, get the apartment ready to move into, and every time I turn around — there she is. ‘Let me help you clean’ or ‘Here, let me get this for you or that for you’ or she’ll decide we don’t need to cook and she brings over carryout. It’s just too much!”

Greg could hear Monica’s frustration, but he really didn’t understand why she was so bothered by his mom’s behavior. “I don’t think she means anything by it. She’s just trying to help us out. You know how she is—once a mother always a mother.”

“I don’t need another mother. I already have one. And besides, I want the two of us to do these things. This is ourwedding and our apartment and the beginning of our lives together. Why can’t she ask us before she just jumps into ‘helping’ us.”

Without saying anything Greg puts his arm around Monica and holds her. Monica starts to cry, “It would be nice to be asked that’s all.”

Monica’s mother-in-law’s need to be needed and her desire to help her son and future daughter-in-law can feel overpowering. And although her intent may not be the same as Tara’s future mother-in-law Bonnie, her actions can still create a difficult situation that eventually grows into a toxic one.

Monica’s future mother-in-law is one I call Mothering Margaret. She struggles to let go of her role as mom. She often says she has let go of her son, yet her behavior shows she still has some letting go to do. Her helpful intentions are often good intentions, but she is unaware that her helpfulness may come across as controlling, intrusive or overbearing to her daughter-in-law.

Both of these situations can be a nightmare for everyone involved.  I’m sure at this point you are wondering if it would be better to avoid her all together or move as far away from her as possible. Trust me, as appealing as this may be, it really isn’t the answer. Avoiding her will only make your relationship with her worse. More importantly, though, it can and will hurt your marriage. Here are some tips to help you create a better, more comfortable relationship with your soon-to-be mother-in-law:

  1. Let her feel a part of things – There are so many things to do when it comes to planning and executing a wedding. Let your future mother-in-law be a part of it. Let her feel that she in included, not excluded. As much as this is about you and your wedding, it is also her son’s wedding. She may not have another opportunity to be involved in such an important life event. Depending on the type of mother-in-law she is, you can give her small tasks or more important ones. You can share with her what you are doing and when you are doing things so, again, she feels she is a part of what is going on.
  2. Be sensitive to her transition from a primary figure to a secondary figure – As a mother she is used to having some influence over her child. Letting go of that and yet believing she is still relevant, albeit in a different way, will go a long way in helping all of you adjust to this new family dynamic.
  3. Find some positive things about her and build from there – Work toward developing a relationship with her that is independent of your fiancé. Get to know what she likes, dislikes, hobbies, and so on. Find something you may have in common with her. If, however, you have a mother-in-law who is like an Off-the Wall Wanda finding common ground may be difficult or next to impossible. Instead, focus on one thing you like about her or something she does well. Let this be the basis of your relationship.
  4. Establish some boundaries – Setting boundaries helps your in-law know and understand the “rules” of this new relationship. However depending on which type of mother-in-law you have, the boundary setting will be different.

For example, with an Off-the-Wall Wanda you will need to not only set boundaries, but you will also need to have consequences when she does not abide by those boundaries. Since she is not someone you can reason with or believe that once you’ve explained why you want her to do something she will comply, it is also critical that you do not get into a discussion as to why you are setting these boundaries. Remember she doesn’t really care about that; she is interested in getting what she wants. Once she has you engaged in explaining and rationalizing, she is likely to wear you down.

A Mothering-Margaret also needs to have boundaries set for her so that she knows what is expected of her. However, she does not need to have consequences when you set those boundaries. She really wants to have a relationship with you and will often willingly do whatever you ask. She truly struggles with what her new role is supposed to be and by setting some boundaries you are helping her understand where she fits. Remember she wants to fit in somewhere; she just needs your help to figure out where.

Your new life can easily include your extended family, particularly your mother-in-law. With these few tips you will be starting off on the right foot toward building a warm and comfortable relationship.

Deanna Brann, Ph.D. has over 30 years of experience in the mental health field as a clinical psychotherapist specializing in communication skills, family and interpersonal relationships, and conflict resolution. After running her own private practice for more than 20 years, she spent time later in her career providing business consultation to other private practice professionals in the health care and legal fields. As both a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, her own personal experiences led her to research the subject. Her first book, Reluctantly Related, began the discussion of examining and bettering the MIL/DIL relationship and is followed by her newest book, Reluctantly Related Revisited. Brann holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology, a Master of Science degree in Clinical Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Psychobiological Anthropology. 

Connect with Dr. Brann at www.drdeannabrann.com or http://www.inlawsos.com/

http://facebook.com/drdeannabrann

twitter – @deannabrann

Reluctantly Related Revisited: Breaking Free of the Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law Conflict available on Amazon. 

 

 

5 Fab Tips for the Bridal Sale Season

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wedding planning, wedding, weddings,5 Fab Tips for the Bridal Sale Season. WeddingDressSampleSale.com, serves up 5 fab tips for making your bridal sample sale season a resounding success.

 

Research– Go to WeddingDressSampleSale.com, tick the filter boxes refining your dress preferences and browse the matching results to find the designer gown of your dreams. Click on each dress to discover more, including a detailed description and your nearest local stockist. You can conveniently email or call them directly from the website.

 

With more than 40 listed bridal boutiques and designers showcasing their sample dresses on WeddingDressSampleSale.com, you can even book your appointment with genuine hands on boutiques all in one place, saving yourself a lot of time and effort time endlessly trawling the web for those special bridal bargains.

 

Be flexible– If the dress you really, really want is not in your size, do not despair! First find out if could it be adjusted and re-fitted for you by a skilled seamstress. What if it turns out that your dream dress neither satisfies you nor compliments your figure? Don’t give up! Try different styles and settle for the one you feel most beautiful and comfortable in. Never feel pressured in to buying a dress just to get it out of the way. It’s your big day after all.

 

Dress appropriately– Wear appropriate underwear to help you easily slip in and out of your dresses when and where you need to. You will want to see how it will all look on your big day, so make sure you bring a strapless bra, heels (unless you are going for some fab flats) and if need be, tights. Don’t overdo the make up or jewellery to the point that it can catch and mark your dress.

 

Check it out thoroughly – Sample dresses are usually sold ‘’as seen’, usually meaning that no returns or refunds. Check the dress for missing beads, stains and tears. Factor in the extra costs such as dry cleaning, alterations and repairs on top of the price.

 

Bring a trusted friend with you.  Having an extra pair of eyes and some good old honest feedback will come in handy when dress hunting. It will also help you drop the not quite not sure dresses quickly and make you feel more confident that you have made the right choice.

You can buy The Wedding Survival Guide: How To Plan Your Big Day Without Losing Your Sanity by our editor, Catherine, for only 99p. It has had great reviews and is full of great advice. It is all you need to plan your big day.