I was Abused & Called a Bitch For Travelling in London With my Children

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Traveling in London is not fun for anyone. With children it is even harder. I have previously written about the hell off traveling with children in London but today things got a whole lot worse. On the way back from an important appointment I got on a bus. There was a wheelchair user (who should always be given priority, and I always do) and then space for the pram. There was an older woman sitting there and I asked her to swing her legs round. I was worried I would get her toes.

She ignored me so I asked again. After the third or fourth time she looked at me, pursed her lips and shook her head. At this point a person on the bus told me this woman had just fallen on the bus. Okay, I said. I did not know that. I began to get off but the wheelchair user kindly moved further back so I could fit my pram in easily.

What happened next was truly shocking.  One woman had got up and was trying to help. Which is fine. But there was an older man who kept telling me to get off the bus. As well as older woman. The both started abusing me saying I should not be on the bus and that in their day they walked everywhere. The man said I should get off and run behind the bus and get some exercise. The women (who was separate from the man) was saying the same thing. I told them I had a right to use public transport and they had no idea how hard it was traveling in London with a pram. They continued to shout and abuse me. The woman who was on her feet and initially tried to help got very domineering when the bus moved off. I had to reach out and stop my four-year-old from falling over. She told me ‘look after my son’ and ‘go sit down’. While doing this she actually grabbed me and tried to push me in the direction of the seat.

When I told her I could look after own son she got offended and told me she was just trying to help. I told her she was a good person and thanked her as I did not want to escalate the situation. I told her I did not need anymore help.The wheelchair user needed to get off and I moved the pram and apologised to him and his carer for the uncomfortable experience, They were really lovely.

The man kept aggressively calling me a bitch. The older women said in her day they folded the pram up. All well and good but my 1-year-old was in the pram. Did she want me to juggle the children all the way? The man continued to abuse me, telling me to walk, calling me a bitch over and over. I told him to stop calling me a bitch or I would call the Transport Police and report him. The third woman who initially had tried to be helpful kept telling ME to be quiet even though I begged the two other people to stop talking and let it go. The third woman ended up getting off. They continued to abuse me and call me a bitch until my son started to cry. Only then did they stop. My son told me he was sad. I comforted him and told him everything was okay.

This is not okay. I was bullied and abused by three people in front of my children. I had a hellish journey getting there and only had a short time before I could give my son a quick lunch and then get him to nursery on time on the way back. We can do better than this London. We are better people. I wished the people abusing me love and light in their lives because I refuse to contribute to the pain and suffering in this world. I apologised to the woman who had fallen. I want love in the world, no hate. We can do better. We can be better. Our children are watching us.

You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse By Melanie Tonia Evans

We all have those people in our lives. The ones that we are a victim too. No matter how much we try to fix things with them or to break free they are still there; doing damage and trying to make us think it is us who have the problem. Sometimes we do not even realise how much damage a person does to us. Many are in toxic relationships with people who are friends or family and do no even realise they are the victim of narcissistic abuse. With Christmas on the horizon we will all be spending time with people we may not like to, who deliberately hurt us. This book has lots of great advice to help. It has a recovering system too. Some of it was too hippy dippy for me. I was also not a fan of the authors habit of using the word ‘rape’ as a verb, but overall I think this is a great book. It can help many people and has already done so. Even if you do not believe in some of the things the author believes in; the book still has information to help you. The author is inspirational and can help you detach from narcissists and love yourself again. Much needed in time for the festive season.

The Number 1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships

Narcissistic abuse is experiencing epidemic proportions worldwide. This book is for everyone, as many people would have suffered some form of narcissistic abuse at some time or know someone that has.

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Narcissistic abuse may be mental, physical, financial, spiritual or sexual. If you have been through an abusive relationship with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you will know that no one understands what you are going through unless they have personally experienced it.
In You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse you will learn how to: recognise if you are in a narcissistic relationship, remove yourself from the narcissist’s ability to affect or abuse you and identify the subconscious programme which hooked you in to begin with so you can heal and go on to thrive not just survive. This revolutionary programme is designed to heal you from the inside out, its effectiveness has been proven by thousands of people worldwide.

Filled with inspirational case studies, insights and inner child work, Evans teaches us that often those that attract narcissists are people pleasers who subjugate their own needs.The Thriver technique asserts that whatever happened in the past was for a reason and if you can find out and heal that reason, then not only will this situation never happen to you again; your life will heal and evolve. Part One of the book explores the nature of narcissistic abuse, what it is and its effect on us and our relationships. Part Two sets out the ten steps that help us connect with our inner trauma and heal from it and Part Three looks at the lessons that can be garnered from narcissistic abuse and the way forward – both for ourselves and for future generations.

If you have suffered from a traumatic relationship with anyone: a parent, spouse, lover, friend, boss or even your own child – this book is for you, regardless of whether you are trapped in an abusive dynamic right now or still struggling to heal from what happened decades ago.

Biography

Melanie Tonia Evans is a healer, author and radio host considered to be the world’s leading online authority on narcissistic abuse recovery. As a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse herself, she is the founder of Quanta Freedom Healing (QFH) and the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). Through her programmes, Mel has helped thousands of people worldwide – there are now over 20,000 graduates of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program who are presently Thriving in abuse-free lives. To find out more visit: melanietoniaevans.com

Available here.

Sexism And Sexual Harassment: The Rise of Everyday Sexism

This is an article I never wanted to write. But something compelled me. A sense of injustice, perhaps. I wanted to write about my own experience of everyday sexism. More importantly, I wanted to write about what happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

 

everyday sexism a personal experienceTwo weeks ago I was walking home from a party in East London when a car kept beeping. I ignored it. I usually do when I am in a part of London where I don’t know people. I finally turned around and a man gestured with his hand for me to come over to his car which had stopped at a red light. I obviously ignored it because I am not an idiot. Do they really think that a women being summoned by a stranger in a car is going to make her go over there? Insane. He was in a car with three friends. He didn’t like being ignored. In fact, he turned his car around so he and his friends could go past me and yell obscenities that I would never write down, never mind say out loud. To say I was terrified was an understatement. It doesn’t take a lot of courage to yell at a women who is 5.5 and a half inches tall and 130 pounds. If they wanted to get out of the car to hurt me, kill me, rape me, I would have stood no chance. I am an emotionally strong person, I even think that after martial arts training that I can generally look after myself, but, sadly, when it comes to physical strength: men and women are not born equal. I was badly shaken. My fiancé was off at a business conference. I didn’t leave the house the next. Nor the day after that.

 

I wish I could say this was a one-off. Sadly it wasn’t.  About a week later I was coming back from the post office near where I live and I was about to step onto the road and then I pulled back as a car was approaching very fast. I could have crossed and made it, but I decided to be extra safe. The car beeped at me aggressively. I waved the aggression away with my hand in an almost subconscious gesture. Turns out it was a man driving. He slammed on the brakes and got out of the car. A muscular man of average height and too-high testosterone. I had crossed behind him at this point. ‘What?, What?” He yelled at me with aggressive body language and an incredibly angry tone. I pretended he wasn’t there and walked in the opposite direction. Thankfully, he didn’t follow.

 

In fact the intimidate-a-women-in-your-car thing isn’t rare at all. It has happened to me four times now and many friends have had the same experience. But I doubt their mothers are proud of them. it doesn’t take a lot of courage to abuse a women who is alone, whilst sitting in a hunk of metal, surrounded by your friends. When I was growing up I wasn’t allowed in certain areas and places unless one of my brothers was with me. I always hated this, thought it was sexist and unfair, but, actually, my parents were smart and knew far more about the brutality and unfairness of the world than I did.

 

This doesn’t mean that all men are lovely and polite when not in cars. I have been asked ‘How much?’ whilst walking through Leicester Square. I have been followed a number of times, had my bottom groped, had men leer at me, been called everything from a slut, to a whore to a c**t (no, I can’t even write it down properly) I have walked down the street in a knee-length skirt and been treated like I was walking down the street topless. My crime? Just walking down the street, minding my own business. Oh, and having breasts and a vagina. Apparently that means it is open season. I never reply, I just ignore it. Usually I can brush it off but not always. Women should not have to put up with this level of abuse. It is time we took a stand. It is time that women and men unite and say no to everyday sexism.

 

There is a wonderful project called the Every Day Sexism Project (and I hope they don’t mind me using their name) you can add your experiences of Every Day Sexism.  They can also be tweeted at @EverydaySexism.

 

Please also comment and add your own experiences below. The more we expose sexism and show how common harassment is, the more we can do to stop it and raise awareness. My one hope is that some of these men don’t realise how their actions affect the women they treat so badly and that when they do, maybe they will think twice.

 

Ronan Farrow Publicly Slams Woody Allen Golden Globes Tribute

Not everyone was happy that Woody Allen received a Cecil B. Demille award at the Golden Globes last night. In fact it sparked some controversy and even Allen’s ex-wife Mia and her son, Ronan, had choice words to say about it. Allen did not attend the ceremony but Diane Keaton accepted the award for him.

Allen married his adoptive daughter with Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi, and has been with her for 12 years. Allen has been accused of abusing his daughter, Dylan (who has since changed her name), when she was seven-years-old. The allegations have been going for years and the allegations flared up in a recent Vanity Fair article. See the tweets below.

Ronan Farrow Publicly Slams Woody Allen Golden Globes Tribute

What do you think?

Interesting Video On How The Media Treated Women In 2013

We found this video from The Representation Project fascinating. Although women did well in 2013, this video shows that we still have a way to go. Let’s hope for better things in 2014.

What do you think?