Women reveal secret affairs, re-discovered martial bliss, falling out of love and more salacious secrets in viral postcard project

Earlier this year, designer and shop owner Eleanor Tattersfield – who runs Marby & Elm, a print workshop and stationery store on Exmouth Market, London – put out a call on Instagram: ‘I’ll send you a postcard, you send me a secret’. What transpired was a feeling of togetherness and community between women from all backgrounds.

Postcards poured in, some beautifully decorated, some simply handwritten, but each one anonymously sharing a very personal confession. They came from people of all ages and all walks of life, including some celebrities from Jamie Oliver to Cath Kidston and Grayson Perry.

All human life is here: furtive infidelities, bad behaviour in the local bakery, sneaking off for baths during a busy home-schooling schedule, and secret abortions. Eleanor’s postcard is featured in a new collection called Lockdown Secrets out now by Pavilion Books

LOCKDOWN SECRETS

ELEANOR TATTERSFIELD

A compelling collection of anonymous postcards sent during lockdown, revealing hilarious, salacious, relatable and sometimes heart-breaking secret confessions.

 

In the thick of the 2021 coronavirus lockdown, designer and shop owner Eleanor Tattersfield put out a call on Instagram: ‘I’ll send you a postcard, you send me a secret’. Lockdown Secrets is an astonishing record of what happened next.

 

Postcards poured in, some beautifully decorated, some simply handwritten, but each one anonymously sharing a very personal confession. They came from people of all ages and all walks of life, including some celebrities. Prominent themes began to emerge: relationships, sex, masturbation, food, rebellion, loneliness and, surprisingly, a lot of love for lockdown itself. Eleanor’s project caught media attention from all over the world, including pieces on BBC and Channel 4 News in the UK and 9 News Sydney in Australia.

 

This beautiful book brings together the best of the postcards Eleanor received, including 100 previously unseen secrets. All human life is here: furtive infidelities, bad behaviour in the local bakery, sneaking off for baths during a busy home-schooling schedule, rediscovered marital bliss, and, occasionally, poignant moments of sadness and despair.

 

We’ve all been through the lockdown experience, and every reader will find something to relate to in this fascinating collection, a perfect snapshot of an extraordinary time.

 

About the Author

Eleanor Tattersfield is the proprietor of Marby & Elm, a print workshop and stationery store on Exmouth Market, London, where she designs and hand-makes cards, letterheads, calendars, labels and posters. The shop started in her garden shed and grew into a family business, and her products are now stocked in Liberty London. In 2021 she began her hugely successful lockdown secrets postcard project. She lives in London and is available for interview.

 

Follow Eleanor and Lockdown Secrets on Instagram:

 

@marbyandelm | #LOCKDOWNSECRETS

 

Hugh Grant Saved a Fortune By Being His Own Acting Agent

acting, acting advice, acting tips, own acting agent, hugh grant, acting agentsHugh Grant has had a career most actors would envy, and he didn’t get there by being stupid. He revealed that for four years he created a fake acting agent called James Howe Ealy, who was actually Hugh himself. He just used a fake email address. The actor said that he “saved myself an absolute fortune.” He also said: “He didn’t exist. It was me on a different email account,” He has an acting agent now and said that he had to stop because people asked to meet James in person and that he would accidentally sign off “Hugh” when he was drunk. Acting agents tend to take between 10-20% in commission so it would have added up to a pretty good sum.

The actor also said during an interview with Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show that he believes having affairs is the key to a good marriage. The father-of-four has two children with current girlfriend Anna Eberstein and two with ex-girlfriend Tinglan Hong. Hugh said that the did not think humans were built for  “40-year-long monogamous, faithful” relationships.

“I always admire the French and the Italians who are very devoted to their marriages, They take them extremely seriously, but it is understood that there might be other visitors at 5 o’clock in the afternoon. You just never boast about. They never say anything, but that’s what keeps marriages together.” Hugh said.

What do you think?

 

If you are an actor then check out my book How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur. It is available in print and in all eBook formats on both Smashwords and Amazon.

 

 

 

 

 

10 Little Known Facts About Dickens

The Charles Dickens Museum has put some great Dickens facts together for us in conjunction with the release of The Invisible Woman which is out on DVD now. . Enjoy.

Dickens was extremely fond of his sister in law, Mary Hogarth, who was 15 at the time they first met. Mary died, aged 17, in his arms at his home at Doughty St (now the Charles Dickens Museum) and Dickens was struck low with grief. He wore a ring from her finger for the rest of his life and kept a lock of her hair. He was unable to work for months following her death – a situation previously unheard of. To a close friend he wrote of her death:

“Thank God she died in my arms and that they very last words she whispered were of me … I solemnly believe that so perfect a creature never breathed. I knew her inmost heart and her real worth and value. She had not a fault…”

the_Invisible_Woman_dvd release

· Dickens love and fondness for Mary coloured his life for years after and affected him profoundly. Years later Dickens spoke of his wish to be buried beside Mary to his friend John Forster:

“The desire to be buried next to her is as strong upon me now as it was three years ago; and I know (for I don’t think there ever was love like that I bear her) that it will never diminish…”.

· Dickens met his first love, Maria Beadnell, at age 17. He was not considered good enough for the attentions of a bankers daughter. He vowed to become an actor to impress her and even when he became a well earning parliamentary reporter in 1835, he was refused by Maria’s parents. Maria contacted Dickens again later in life in 1854 and he was once again infatuated and sent her effusive letters until he discovered she had become dull and matronly. After this he never spoke to Maria again and portrayed her cruelly as Flora in ‘Little Dorrit’

· Dickens met the young actress Ellen Ternan when she was 17 and he pursued her from 1857 and was connected to her until his death in 1870. Dickens went to great lengths to keep the affair a secret from his adoring public. Ellen was the same age when he met her as Mary Hogarth had been when she died.

· As the relationship with his wife Catherine soured, he arranged for a wall to be built in the middle of their shared bedroom making the separation complete.

· In 1858, Dickens officially separated from Catherine and to put an end to rumours in circulation about his affair with Ellen Ternan, he had a notice published in London Times and Household Words to explain the ‘amicably composed’ separation to his wider public.

· When Dickens separated from Catherine, he blamed her mental instability as the cause of their break-up rather than the affair with Ellen Ternan

· A serpent ring tells the story of strained relations between Catherine Dickens and her sister Georgina following the separation of the Dickens’s marriage in 1858; Georgina made the controversial decision to remain with Dickens as his housekeeper. Many years later, after Dickens’s death, Catherine made a gift of the serpent ring to the sister who had deserted her, the symbol of the snake implying her betrayal.

· The affair between Dickens and Ellen was covered up well into 1920’s. Subsequent generations denied that the affair ever happened. A discovery of Dickens’ stolen or lost diary of 1867, found in 1943, appears to confirm the affair through coded entries..

Dickens was extremely fond of his sister in law, Mary Hogarth, who was 15 at the time they first met. Mary died, aged 17, in his arms at his home at Doughty St (now the Charles Dickens Museum) and Dickens was struck low with grief. He wore a ring from her finger for the rest of his life and kept a lock of her hair. He was unable to work for months following her death – a situation previously unheard of. To a close friend he wrote of her death:

“Thank God she died in my arms and that they very last words she whispered were of me … I solemnly believe that so perfect a creature never breathed. I knew her inmost heart and her real worth and value. She had not a fault…”

· Dickens love and fondness for Mary coloured his life for years after and affected him profoundly. Years later Dickens spoke of his wish to be buried beside Mary to his friend John Forster:

“The desire to be buried next to her is as strong upon me now as it was three years ago; and I know (for I don’t think there ever was love like that I bear her) that it will never diminish…”.

· Dickens met his first love, Maria Beadnell, at age 17. He was not considered good enough for the attentions of a bankers daughter. He vowed to become an actor to impress her and even when he became a well earning parliamentary reporter in 1835, he was refused by Maria’s parents. Maria contacted Dickens again later in life in 1854 and he was once again infatuated and sent her effusive letters until he discovered she had become dull and matronly. After this he never spoke to Maria again and portrayed her cruelly as Flora in ‘Little Dorrit’

· Dickens met the young actress Ellen Ternan when she was 17 and he pursued her from 1857 and was connected to her until his death in 1870. Dickens went to great lengths to keep the affair a secret from his adoring public. Ellen was the same age when he met her as Mary Hogarth had been when she died.

· As the relationship with his wife Catherine soured, he arranged for a wall to be built in the middle of their shared bedroom making the separation complete.

· In 1858, Dickens officially separated from Catherine and to put an end to rumours in circulation about his affair with Ellen Ternan, he had a notice published in London Times and Household Words to explain the ‘amicably composed’ separation to his wider public.

· When Dickens separated from Catherine, he blamed her mental instability as the cause of their break-up rather than the affair with Ellen Ternan

· A serpent ring tells the story of strained relations between Catherine Dickens and her sister Georgina following the separation of the Dickens’s marriage in 1858; Georgina made the controversial decision to remain with Dickens as his housekeeper. Many years later, after Dickens’s death, Catherine made a gift of the serpent ring to the sister who had deserted her, the symbol of the snake implying her betrayal.

· The affair between Dickens and Ellen was covered up well into 1920’s. Subsequent generations denied that the affair ever happened. A discovery of Dickens’ stolen or lost diary of 1867, found in 1943, appears to confirm the affair through coded entries..

Dickens was extremely fond of his sister in law, Mary Hogarth, who was 15 at the time they first met. Mary died, aged 17, in his arms at his home at Doughty St (now the Charles Dickens Museum) and Dickens was struck low with grief. He wore a ring from her finger for the rest of his life and kept a lock of her hair. He was unable to work for months following her death – a situation previously unheard of. To a close friend he wrote of her death:

“Thank God she died in my arms and that they very last words she whispered were of me … I solemnly believe that so perfect a creature never breathed. I knew her inmost heart and her real worth and value. She had not a fault…”

· Dickens love and fondness for Mary coloured his life for years after and affected him profoundly. Years later Dickens spoke of his wish to be buried beside Mary to his friend John Forster:

“The desire to be buried next to her is as strong upon me now as it was three years ago; and I know (for I don’t think there ever was love like that I bear her) that it will never diminish…”.

· Dickens met his first love, Maria Beadnell, at age 17. He was not considered good enough for the attentions of a bankers daughter. He vowed to become an actor to impress her and even when he became a well earning parliamentary reporter in 1835, he was refused by Maria’s parents. Maria contacted Dickens again later in life in 1854 and he was once again infatuated and sent her effusive letters until he discovered she had become dull and matronly. After this he never spoke to Maria again and portrayed her cruelly as Flora in ‘Little Dorrit’

· Dickens met the young actress Ellen Ternan when she was 17 and he pursued her from 1857 and was connected to her until his death in 1870. Dickens went to great lengths to keep the affair a secret from his adoring public. Ellen was the same age when he met her as Mary Hogarth had been when she died.

· As the relationship with his wife Catherine soured, he arranged for a wall to be built in the middle of their shared bedroom making the separation complete.

· In 1858, Dickens officially separated from Catherine and to put an end to rumours in circulation about his affair with Ellen Ternan, he had a notice published in London Times and Household Words to explain the ‘amicably composed’ separation to his wider public.

· When Dickens separated from Catherine, he blamed her mental instability as the cause of their break-up rather than the affair with Ellen Ternan

· A serpent ring tells the story of strained relations between Catherine Dickens and her sister Georgina following the separation of the Dickens’s marriage in 1858; Georgina made the controversial decision to remain with Dickens as his housekeeper. Many years later, after Dickens’s death, Catherine made a gift of the serpent ring to the sister who had deserted her, the symbol of the snake implying her betrayal.

· The affair between Dickens and Ellen was covered up well into 1920’s. Subsequent generations denied that the affair ever happened. A discovery of Dickens’ stolen or lost diary of 1867, found in 1943, appears to confirm the affair through coded entries.

 

 

Beyonce & Jay Z Kick Off On The Run Tour, Share Wedding Video

Beyonce and Jay Z have kicked off their On The Run Tour. They opened their 16-city tour in Miami, performing their 2002 hit Bonnie and Clyde.

Beyonce and Jay Z wedding video

The couple also let the public finally see their wedding video from their 2008 wedding, along with footage of their one-year-old daughter Blue Ivy.

“There were videos of Blue in the pool with her mom, walking holding hands with her parents, Jay Z kissing Blue. It was a sweet moment — Jay Z and Beyoncé were both facing the screen watching the Blue videos while they sang ‘Halo.’ It was like they were singing the song to their baby girl. The two of them were beaming, smiling watching their little girl on the screen.” a concertgoer told Us Weekly.

It is all very sweet and Mr and Mrs Carter are showing how strong they are against gossip about their marriage.

What do you think? Are they a great couple?

Chelsea Named as Britain’s No 1 Mistress Hotspot

If you are a newly wed then don’t move to Chelsea, it is where single women prowl for married men to have affairs with.

And ‘staid’ Tunbridge Wells comes second

Chelsea is the no 1 hotspot for single women seeking affairs with married men, according to new research from AshleyMadison.com.  The world’s leading dating site for extra-marital affairs has found that 43.96% of its women members who are seeking affairs with married men in Chelsea are actually single.

UK.mistress.hotspots

Noel Biderman, AshleyMadison.com founder and CEO says: “Chelsea is part of London’s richest borough and home to some of the capital’s wealthiest men. Single women are drawn to status, to men who have made something of themselves, even if that includes having a wife and family. As Oscar Wilde said and James Goldsmith famously paraphrased, “When a man marries his mistress he creates a vacancy.” It’s no accident that so many mistresses live in Chelsea and our female members such as Lady Catherine and Rosetti Lover are looking for their own Jimmy Goldsmith.’

At Mistress Hotspot no 2, Tunbridge Wells has a more conservative image with its prep schools, Georgian architecture and spa heritage. Yet 42.04% of the women there are single and actively seeking an affair with a married man.

Noel Biderman says: ‘Does ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ have an alter ego as Ashley Madison’s HardAsRock or RugbyJunky? There are a lot of well heeled, successful men there, however staid they may or may not be. A Tunbridge Wells man obviously holds promise as a lover, even if he is married.’

St Albans is 3rd on the list for would-be mistresses and Loughborough comes 4th.

With Oxford bottom of the list, it seems that while the single women of the city are inclined to stick to their studies, the academic world is not immune to passion.

Mistress Hotspots: % of female members who are single:

Chelsea, London          42.04%

Tunbridge Wells           42.04%

St Albans                      41.01%

Loughborough              39.17%

Dartford                        38.91%

Hemel Hempstead       38.36%

Chester                         36.94%

Newcastle upon Tyne  36.55%

Bristol                           35.70%

Oxford                          35.45%

Are you going to avoid these areas?

Why do women cheat? Not enough sex, say 79.2% of survey

•             25-34 year old women most likely to seek an affair outside marriage

•             1-3 months is the typical life cycle of an affair for 60.3% of AshleyMadison.com membersCitiz Hotel

•             76.9% of unfaithful women still love their husband or long term partner

A new survey of unfaithful British women from AshleyMadison.com, the world’s leading site for extramarital affairs, shows that for 79.2% the over-riding reason for cheating on husbands or partners is an unfulfilled sex life.

The survey of 10,245 UK women members of the website provides a snapshot of the changing face of infidelity in this country. Globally, female infidelity is on the rise and the UK is no exception.

Noel Biderman, founder and CEO of AshleyMadison.com says: “While women are gaining power in the work-place they’re no longer prepared to accept a disappointing performance from their man in the bedroom. Many work long hours, they juggle family and professional responsibilities and find that a busy lifestyle can be both an excuse and a cover for cyber affairs and physical affairs.”

The most common age group amongst unfaithful women is 25-34 year olds (35.1%), but the 35-44 year old age bracket is not far behind at 30.4%.

“Attitudes to infidelity amongst women are changing fast,’ adds Biderman. “The taboo is disappearing, it’s no longer a male preserve. With smartphones and access to the Internet 24/7, women have the tools to seek out and conduct discreet affairs that leave no ‘digital lipstick’ in the way that Facebook does. It’s as safe and easy as ordering a take-away!”

Unfaithful women seem to mirror cheating men who traditionally claim they still love their wives: 76.9% of Ashley Madison’s cheating women say they still love their husband or long term partner and an overwhelming 95.1% say they are not in love with their affair partner. In line with this, only 11.6% say they would like to leave their husband or partner

However, it seems that the one nightstand is still male territory, as an affair of one-three months is typical for 60.3% of the women surveyed and only 19.6% say they are looking for a one-night stand.

Noel Biderman comments: “Women tend to like a degree of stability; genetically they’re not wired for one-night stands. But women are good at multi-tasking so there’s no problem having an affair partner as well as a husband. 69% of the women we surveyed have only had one or two affairs.”

 

Do you agree?