In a world that is so divided I was excited to head to Annabels to hear Sophie Scott, editor of Balance Magazine and Author and Peace Activist Stephen Fulder of What’s Beyond Mindfulness come together for a talk on mindfulness and love. Stephen Fulder was full of wisdom and Sophie Scott was adept at getting the wisdom by asking great questions. Fulder says that we have to love ourselves. It comes from within. He has spent time in Israel educating people to look differently at themselves and others. A 10-year-old Palestinian boy was so moved by Fulder and his words that he told him that he had seen so much suffering that he was sure he human heart was cold and hard, but meeting Fulder meant he then knew there was goodness in the human heart. Fulder says people have to tell themselves I am a whole human being. I love myself. That people have to be a friend of their spirit. We have to allow ourselves to be the shape we are.

When it comes with dealing with difficult and negative people he says that first; you have to look at the person. No automatic pilot. See the person and look at their pain. There will be a lot of ignorance and blindness. Protect yourself by not digesting the stuff. Refuse to let it get to you. Don’t let it get inside. Feel steady and stand your ground. Listen but do not take it in. See the buttons but do not accept it. Say ‘I see you, I see this, I let if go’.

Stephen Fulder is a buddhist but he says being buddhist does not mean taking everything but you have to challenge your ego. If you are the one in the wrong saying sorry has wisdom to it. It is gone, it is finished. A line drawn on the water is just gone. Started afresh in the garden of now.

We are conditioned to run after goals but we can stop and just be mindful. Be happy with our lives and who we are. Rather than just chasing the next thing. The key is joy.

This was a wonderful talk to discuss how we can heal division and conflict both at a societal level and also within our families and communities.  https://annabels.co.uk/events/january-wellness

Here is a link to a recent article that Fulder wrote for Balance on using mindfulness to heal conflict. https://balance.media/resolving-conflict-christmas/ Fulder is doing a tour of UK pubs bringing mindfulness to the masses called Buddha At The Bar.

What’s Beyond Mindfulness is a life-changing guide on every aspect of modern life from using mindfulness to resolve conflict to how to age wisely, deal with tiredness, find fulfilment at work and make friends with your body, heart and mind. It’s a uniquely practical exploration of Buddhism in everyday life that will appeal to people of any faith and to those of none. What’s Beyond Mindfulness was a bestseller in Israel for 18 weeks and is written by leading Peace Activist Stephen Fulder, founder of the Israel Insight Society which has been at the helm of peace talks between Palestinians and Israelis and guided thousands of people in Israel and worldwide in exploring Buddhist teachings. The book is endorsed by Jack Kornfield and James Baraz.

The book is available here.