Tag Archives: attraction

Women over 32 less impressed with men in suits compared to women in their twenties

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LIP Shameless BG _A2The Power Suit

Women in their 20s more attracted to a man in a suit than women over 32

 

At Frost we love a man in a suit, while the men, erm, don’t really have an opinion. Women of all ages cannot deny men in suits are exceptionally attractive, turning even the average looking man into a fine-looking gentleman.  However, it seems some ladies aren’t as mesmerised by the tailored suit as others.  According to a new survey women over 32 are less impressed with a man in a suit than women in their twenties.

 

The survey carried out by bespoke tailors, King & Allen, used an online dating site* to conduct a picture survey.  Twenty men from different backgrounds and sizes, and aged between 23 and 38, were each photographed wearing casual clothes and then traditional suits.  Women aged between 18 and 38 were invited to rate the men on their overall looks.  The suited men were rated considerably higher in desirability than their casual counterparts.

 

To give the findings a scientific explanation, a new study called The Journal of Social Experimental Psychology, led and conducted by Professor Adam D. Galinsky of the Northwestern University in the US, revealed that wearing certain clothes really does altar cognitive performance and perception.*

 

Jake Allen, co-founder of King & Allen says:  “We were surprised by the findings but it seems women in their twenties associate men wearing tailored suits with success, wealth and high status.

 

“Women in their thirties are far more experienced in the workplace than those in their twenties. They may find the tailored suit a reminder of their job and are so accustomed to the suit, it becomes less desirable outside the work environment. “

 

Mr Allen concludes, ‘To support the scientific research, our customers are always saying that they feel at least ten times more confident and a couple of inches taller when wearing one of our suits.”

 

The Ghost of Relationships Past

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The old phrase ‘lesson learnt’ is never truer than after the end of a relationship. With each heart break we experience we take something different from it. But do we ever truly move on if we keep repeating the mistakes of our past relationships?

Relationship expert for online match maker eHarmony.co.uk, Dr Gian Gonzaga says “sometimes people lose faith in finding love because they seem to be continually attracted to the ‘wrong’ type of people”.  According to Gonzaga, at times it can seem as though no matter how hard we try we end up with the same problems but with different people, like magnets that attract the same situation over and over again.  It’s time we examine where we are going wrong and eradicate the real issue, to really be able to move on and find lasting love.

So excavate the past to create a different future for yourself:

The common denominator

Look at all your past relationships, write them down if it helps, and ask yourself these questions about each one. What attracted you to the person in the first place? What caused the relationship to end? Were there signs early on in the relationship that there were problems but you ignored them?

Old relationships are never wasted, they are a rich source of information which you can go back over to discover what you could do differently in the future. Be really honest with yourself and try to look at the relationship from an outsider’s point of view. What you are looking for is the similarities between them to see if there is a pattern.

Is the thing that attracts the thing that destroys?

Are you attracted to creative, emotionally unavailable men and then the relationship ends because you don’t get enough attention? Or are you drawn to bright, bubbly women but then fail to get very far because you feel threatened when she flirts with your mates?

Look at the people who have qualities that you find attractive – not just the ones you have had relationships with but also people in the media, friends etc. What is it in them that you find attractive? Then look at yourself and develop those qualities in yourself rather than waiting for someone else to come and make you feel that way.

Don’t fall for someone’s potential

This is the most common mistake that people make in relationships. They meet someone and they fall in love with what they ‘could be’ rather than what they ‘are’ today. They believe that if they love this person enough; give them lots of encouragement, support and everything they need in order to blossom that they will have a wonderful relationship together. Although this often comes from a loving place it is starting a relationship from the basis of wanting to change the other person rather than accepting and loving them as they are. It is a great feeling to be the hero or heroine in another person’s life but it is rarely going to lead to a healthy relationship because the basis of the relationship isn’t equal.

Look in the mirror

When a relationship ends it can be comforting to think it was all the other person’s fault but that attitude is depriving you of the opportunity of finding out what you could do differently next time. Look back through the story of your time together and look at your own behaviour. At what points could you have done something differently? Are you angry with all men/women because of things that have happened in your past? If so now might be the time to get some help if you really want things to change.

Change your mind

Just like any other area of life, relationship choices can become habitual and instinctive. We often dismiss potential matches simply because they don’t conform to an image we have in our head of ‘our type’. Open your mind and heart and start saying ‘yes’ to communication or dates with matches that you would normally dismiss out of hand, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Noone’s fate is fixed in stone, we can all change and grow and even if you have never had a healthy relationship in the past it is no reason that you never will in the future.

http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/start-with-you/2011/11/how-to-make-your-future-love-life-different-from-your-past

 

Your Relationship After Children?

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YOUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER CHILDREN?

· Research lifts the lid (and duvet) on the effect having kids has on British couples

Research released by parenting website, yano.co.uk reveals what goes on with British couples’ lives ‘after children’. The survey asked questions about the changing relationships, rows, sex and attraction between couples and provided insights into a subject that mums and dads normally ‘keep mum’ about.

When it comes to spending time together, one in ten parents make room for a weekly ‘Date Night’ but nearly half (46%) only get to spend one kid-free night a month together, with 3% only able to get alone time once a YEAR.

Perhaps as a result, 63% of parents say their sex life has deteriorated since having children. 41% had sex every other day before kids – this goes down to just 10% having sex every other day after having children. 28% have sex only once a month post-children, 5% once a year and 7% revealed they now NEVER have sex! This is perhaps unsurprising when you hear 37% of parents questioned admitted that they are less attracted to their partner after having children – a feeling that is more common for women (42%).

More than a third of parents questioned say they argue more with their partner since having children, with 6% having separated from their partner before their child was born. The most common rows for all parents revolve around parenting style (61%), financial pressures (53%) and who should be doing the chores (41%).

There are also some clear differences between men and women’s viewpoints. Women feel, more so than men, that their partner needs to take more responsibility helping with their child or children. Women are also more likely to complain to their spouse about chores and sex, whilst men are more likely to argue with their partners about parenting styles.

Patrick Wanis PhD, Celebrity Life Coach and Relationship Therapist says that much of the tension between modern parents stems from one major problem; we are effectively sacrificing the relationship for the sake of the children, doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. Wanis says that, although it sounds counter-intuitive, the best thing parents can do for their children are to put their marriage first. ‘That means regular date nights, still sharing hopes and dreams, still wanting the best for each other, still taking time to enjoy each other’s company as adults and friends. Children thrive in a household of open love and affection between the parents. But when parents neglect each other, the children eventually suffer as the marriage falls apart.’

TV psychologist Jo Hemmings says ‘When you make that transition from lover to mother or father, everything changes. The way society views you to your priorities to the amount of freedom you have. Many new parents report that while they have gained a huge amount in terms of love and fulfilment, a part of them still feels lost, and is wondering where the ‘real’ them is buried underneath the bustle and juggling of parenthood.’

The survey also revealed some regional stats from across the UK. Northern Irish are more keen under the covers after the birth of a child, with over half of them confessing to having sex once a week, compared to just a quarter of couples in London. Scots are also keen to rekindle their love lives after having children, with almost a quarter of couples (22%) admitting they have sex every other day. Geordies top the poll when confessing they feel less attraction to their partners after the birth of a child, with over three-quarters of couples admitting they felt this way. But love is blind in Scotland, with only 25% of Scots feeling less attracted to their partners after a child’s birth.

Ann-Marie McKimm, founder of Yano and mother of two, says, “It was great to get such honest views from our respondents as these issues are not often discussed. Following the sad news about the split of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes this week, it is interesting to note that tension over how to raise a child comes out as the top reason for arguments in relationships and is clearly an issue that affects many couples. Given this result and the differences revealed in men and women’s views, I feel that it is important to open up discussions on these problems”.

Yano encourages fresh thinking on parenting, incorporating enlightening food for thought; informative discussions; regular news stories; a digest of interesting parenting stories from across the globe; Q and A discussion panels and advice and comment from leading experts in their chosen fields.

Visit Yano for further information and a full article on ‘Will Your Relationship Survive Children.’

How to Have a Successful Date

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What Makes A Successful Date?

eHarmony.co.uk reveals the Great Date Indicators (GDI) that switch us “on” and “off” to a potential mate

Based on communication habits of thousands of British singles, relationship site eHarmony releases six key indicators that can increase your dating potential.

Laughing at certain jokes, having a passion for vegetarian food or playing the guitar may sound harmless enough but according to analysis of millions of connections on relationship site eHarmony®, certain hobbies and habits definitely affect a single’s potential with the opposite sex.

Whilst studying how compatible singles connect and communicate on eHarmony.co.uk, computational scientists have found a series of indicators that impact attraction and connection online. Although two people can be incredibly compatible, the Great Date Indicators (GDI), as eHarmony scientists call them, provide an additional layer to determine whether two people will click when they meet in person. They reveal that:


1. We don’t like people with the same sense of humour

Far from seeking out someone with the same sense of humour as ourselves, the GDI show that online, we will often choose to connect with people who have a very different sense of humour to our own. For example, men with dark or political humour are often attracted to women with slapstick, wisecracking humour.

2. Traditional gender types have a big part to play in our attraction to a partner

Even though we live in an open and liberated society, men and women who conform to gender stereotypes receive more interest online. For example, fewer women communicate with men who enjoy feminine pursuits (like shopping) whilst fewer men communicate with women who seem to be in a position of authority. Also, men care less about the income potential of a woman only if she earns less than they do.

3. Spending habits influence the dating potential for women online

How much a woman spends or saves may impact her dating potential online. Women who spend freely view many profiles but do not communicate often. eHarmony scientists term this the “window shopping effect”. More men will talk to a woman who saves, whilst fewer men will talk to a woman who says she spends freely. The exception is that men who spend freely will talk to women who spend freely – surely a recipe for an empty joint bank account.

4. The universal appeal of yoga

Stretching and bending is THE most popular form of exercise in terms of appeal to the opposite sex whether you’re a man or a woman. Regardless of gender, men and women who mention yoga in their profiles receive significantly more communication than those who don’t.


5. We all want active partners – even if we’re a couch potato

Most people search out and connect with people who have active lifestyles. It is very appealing to the opposite sex. Be warned if you sit in front of the TV. Couch potatoes are universally unappealing, even to other couch potatoes.


6. A varied palate is appealing to the opposite sex

A varied diet and openness to try new foods is appealing to the opposite sex but a McDonalds habit could seriously damage your dating potential. Enjoying fast food is a big turn off to other singles, even if they’re fast food eaters themselves. And being a vegetarian is definitely a big attraction for other vegetarians online.

As part of the patented scientific match making process, eHarmony members complete a relationship questionnaire where they are asked to record their passions, interests, likes and dislikes. Since its launch in the UK, eHarmony has been building a comprehensive picture of the personalities and habits of the two million singles who have completed the questionnaire. Then using Compatibility Matching System® quantitative analysis models, eHarmony’s computational science team search for trends in how members decipher the profiles of matches and connect with them online.

Joseph Essas, Chief Technology Officer at eHarmony says:

Meeting singles you’re going to have chemistry with is what makes dating exciting, and even more importantly, worth investing time and energy in. In any given day there are millions of communications taking place on eHarmony. By analysing all of these interactions we’re able to learn what behaviours and hobbies can make sparks fly between our singles and provide them with matches that are even more tailored for them.