Tag Archives: broken heart

It’s true. A broken heart can kill

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It’s true. a broken heart can kill

I guess on a day like today (valentines day) we should talk about that thing we love and hate…love and the injuries it comes with.

We’ve all felt it. maybe on different levels but we all know what its like to have our hearts broken. to have something that is out of our control happen, to be taken to a different place that we have felt so close too and special for so long, long enough to declare our love and dedicate ourselves too, and then be ripped away from it can create an uncontrollable pain inside us, like the butterflies we had in our bellies are slowly dying and yet we cant help them, can’t call 999 and ask them to come and save them ,and at times we can’t even call our own friends for help.

But why do we feel like we are dying of a broken heart? Well it’s because we are.

One of the main causes of death by broken heart is a heart-attack…or as it has been proven…something like a heart-attack.
It’s called stress cardiomyopathy or broken heart syndrome. you’re body becomes so shocked after a traumatic experience it unleashes a flush of chemicals including adrenaline, all this rush can put pressure and stun you’re heart, leaving it unable to pump properly.

The difference between this and a “normal” heart attack is that the arteries are not really damaged in the same way and if caught and treated properly recovery can be fairly quickly.

A sad fact is women have a higher risk of suffering with “broken heart Syndrome”  and especially after the passing of  a significant other, where they are 21 times more likely to suffer in the first 24hours and 6 times higher than normal in the first week since the passing.

But we’ve all felt the other type of broken heart, rejection. being cheated on, dumbed.

The pain of it can last for so long and the threat of sudden memories…oww our song, film, meal, smell, dog suddenly jumping in our heads.

Not only that but mutual friends asking stupid questions like…are you OK? or bumping into them in the street, party or my gut-wrenching favourite…photos and new relationship status change on facebook, twitter and other stalker friendly social network sites.

Now from personal experience this problem grows painfully big in young men.

We seem to believe its wrong for us to cry, talk about feeling upset or be weak, admit we feel alone or not coping well. possibly feeling less of a man or scared we would be laughed at and ridiculed.

This problem has grown so much that suicide is the second biggest killer in young men in England and Wales. coming from the South Wales valleys I can tell you now there is a huge suicide problem going on, in my village alone within the last year I believe 3-5 young men took their own life, men who seemed to be “OK” but after it being too late everyone realizing…they went and asking themselves, why didn’t they say something.

I don’t know if you all remember in the west near Bridgend between Jan 2007 and Dec 2008, 25 young people took there own lives, but its not only young people, but adults may be suffering with the loss of a loved one, money issues, family problems and even relationship problems that can drive what would seem a happy and friendly person to travel down a road that is lonely, cruel and hell to return from.

But there is an answer, there is help and there are lots of them….for one….talk about it, don’t be ashamed if you feel like this, don’t worry what people will say.

My relationship history hasn’t been great, in truth it’s awful and I have been used and abused and ripped apart by my exes, I felt ashamed, how the big and tough Seb could be brought to his knees by a little, sweet young lady…or ladies.
its true but my friends made me realize its OK, it wont hurt forever and I will walk onward to the light.

Another secret and this is the best I believe…..EXERCISE.

As well as releasing natural chemicals that improve your mood and make you feel happier, having an active lifestyle can do more to help your mental health.

Taking part in physical activities offers many opportunities. It’s a great way to meet people. And it can be a chance to give yourself a well-deserved break from the hustle and bustle of daily life – to find some me time.

Leading an active life can help raise your self-worth and improve your confidence. It can help you feel valued – and value yourself.

Exercise and physical activity can provide something worthwhile in your life. Something that you really enjoy, that gives you a goal to aim for and a sense of purpose.

Here are a few of the benefits:
less tension, stress and mental fatigue
a natural energy boost
improved sleep
a sense of achievement
focus in life and motivation
less anger or frustration
a healthy appetite
better social life
having fun. 
improved sex life…..yes men it can.

So don’t be afraid, don’t be alone. you have the right to be happy.
So get out there, take a challenge and hit it head on.
Start slow and small if needs be. Set yourself a goal and aim to smash it and never-ever look back.

How To Get Over A Break Up.

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SGPFew things in life are as hard as a break up. Having your heart broken is not for wimps. Yet everyone will go through it at some point. Being left by someone you love will leave you bereft but you will survive. Here is the Frost guide to healing as quickly as possible.

[Note: although this articles is about getting over a man, the same advice mostly applies to women too]

Give yourself time to mourn

Nothing stops the end from being so hard.

When something ends in your life, no matter what it is, it is going to hurt. The end of a relationship is the death of that relationship and you have to give yourself time to mourn.

However, only give yourself a few days, a week maximum to really mop. Sounds tough, but it’s the best way. After that, go out a lot, join some classes, talk to your friends, exercise, or even just spend an evening watching a good boxset or reading magazines. Treat yourself and be kind. You are fragile so treat yourself as well as possible.

Cut him off.

When someone hurts you, react. Forgiveness comes later. Keep your dignity at all times, but don’t let yourself be manipulated. There is a reason you broke up.

Delete him on Facebook, stop following him on Twitter. Delete his number, his email from your contact list, cut him off. If he doesn’t want you in his life, then he doesn’t get to have you as a friend. Don’t settle for second best. He will probably want to keep you around and have you as a ‘friends with benefits’ but you are worth more, don’t do it.

Remove him from your life with surgical precision. Sell everything he bought you on Ebay and use the proceeds to go on a holiday with your girlfriends. Get ride of every mementos. Change your surrounding as much as possible and have a clear out. All of this will help.

Some people think you can be friends with an ex. Maybe you can after a long period, But, I think, the only reasons two exes can be friends is if they still love each other, or if they never did.

Don’t just rebound with the next guy.

Having casual sex will just make you feel worse. Embrace the good things about being single, not the meat market aspect. You will be a different person from who went into the relationship. Give yourself some time to grow and settle into yourself.

Remind yourself what you didn’t like about him.

Write everything down. No one is perfect and there are things he done that drove you mad. Did he play computer games all day? Watch football? Whatever it is, that has also gone from your life too. Thumbs up.

Take responsibility

Take note of what you did wrong in the relationship, the mistakes you made. Learn from every bad experience. It takes two people to destroy a relationship. Your next relationship will be the better for it.

Enjoy being single.

Embrace all the great things about being single. Do all of the things that you love that he hated. Go out and flirt. Flirting is fun and there are a lot of amazing men out there. Go out and date. Enjoy yourself knowing you have no ball and chain.

Become an independent women who loves her life. Remember when Prince William dumped Kate Middleton? Kate shortened her hem lines, and went out with Williams friends looking absolutely stunning. No wonder he fell back in love with her.

[If you follow all of this advice and your ex comes crawling back, think hard before taking him back, all of the old problems will still be there. Don’t throw more good time after bad.]

Let go

Know that everything will get better and that time will heal. After removing him from your life and embracing your new one, let go. Nothing good comes from hanging onto the past. Go out and live your life, knowing that you are better off without him.

My final piece of advice is to not let a bad man ruin you for a good one in the future. There is a good man out there for you. If you become bitter, he wins. Always know that even in the darkest moments that there is a good man out there for you, and one day you will find him. Just keep searching and live your life.