Tag Archives: Catherine Balavage

How I Finally Got My Natural Birth.

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working mother, mother, working, freelance, blogger, mummy blogger, blogger, parenting blogger, blogger, writing,, pregnancy, birth, childbirth, hypnobirthing, Catherine Balavage, trauma, childbirth, women on childbirth As I write this it is my sons fifth birthday. He is happily playing with his new toys and his toddler sister is playing with a train track. The pain of my sons birth has lessened this year. The pain is not as searing. I wanted a natural birth with my son. I had gone to an antenatal class at the hospital and they had skipped over most of the birth part due to time constraints. The one thing they did cover was pain relief, and it all looked awful. Even the epidural which they said was the ‘only thing that actually works’ looked so invasive. A catheter? No thanks. I would have a natural birth. It would hurt, but it would be worth it. 

The birth itself was a series of little mistakes leading up to an emergency C section. I ended up having pethidine and an epidural. I have always been sensitive to drugs. I hate the feeling of being high, but by the third day of labour I could not take anymore. The midwives bullied me for taking drugs saying, ‘how much more pethidine is that baby going to have?’, but at no point did anyone induce me during my over eighty hours of labour until the very end. One midwife shouted and screamed at me at the top of her lungs while my water broke. I was bullied, abused and I thought my child and I were going to die. We both almost did. 

That is not what I want to talk about today. Today I want to talk about what happened two-and-a-half years later: I got my VBAC. Having a natural birth with my daughter was the most healing experience of my life. I was thankful it was at a different hospital with better staff. 

The trauma from my sons birth lead me to research childbirth and talk to as many women as I could about their experiences. This lead to me writing my book Women on Childbirth: Tips and Experiences from Women who Have Done it. I read everything I could about natural birth as I did not want another C section or any drugs. A book I recommend is The Positive Birth Book from Milli Hill. I was humbled when Milli was kind enough to contribute her birth story to my book. I also have to mention the team at St George’s who were so supportive. I cannot thank them enough. 

I decided to try hypnobirthing and I read everything I could about it. I was confident I could breathe the baby out of my vagina as long as I was in the right environment. I knew if I was as calm as possible things would go well. I wanted the room to be as dark as possible. I did not want any drugs as they slow down labour. I refused to have anyone other than my husband there. I was treated terribly by the midwives at the other hospital and I knew that it would be partly luck if I got a good midwife or not. I was not going in on just luck however: I was going in empowered with information and a confidence in the abilities of my body. 

I was in labour for over twenty-four hours but most of that was the early labour part which is not as bad. The pushing part was a few hours but it seemed to go faster. I was so surprised when the amazing midwife Elle told me I was ten centimetres. During my last birth I did not even get to five. The breathing really helped with the pain. 

Did it hurt? Of course it did, but a natural birth is only more painful in the moment. It does not hurt as much afterwards and the recovery is much quicker. The moment I pushed out my daughter and she was on my chest was one of the proudest moments of my life. The female body is an amazing thing and we need to have confidence that our bodies can do what needs to be done, but we also deserve to have the right environment to birth in so our bodies are able to do that. Birth rights are human rights. 

 

My Writing Process Sheila O’Flanagan

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The Women Who Ran Away by Sheila O’Flanagan is published 16th July 2020 (Headline Review, £18.99). 

Sheila O'Flanagan author imageI’ve always loved reading and used to write sequels to Enid Blyton stories when I was young because I always wanted to know what happened next. Everyone thought I’d end up, if not a novelist, at least working in a library or a bookshop. However I was offered job in a bank and got side-tracked into the world of finance. I occasionally wrote short stories in the evenings as a way of unwinding but I didn’t think I had the time to write a novel, even though I had lots of different ideas and would think about my various characters whenever I wasn’t working. Eventually I realised that if I wanted to fulfil my dream of being a published author I’d have to make the time to write – unfortunately the ideas don’t magically appear on the page. So I bought myself a laptop, opened a Word document, typed Chapter 1 and wrote every evening until it was finished. I’ve kept going ever since.

2. What you have written, past and present.

My first novel, Dreaming of a Stranger, was published in 1997. I’ve written 25 novels for adults, 3 collections of short stories, 2 children’s books and contributed to both the Quick Reads and Open Door series of short novellas.

3. What you are promoting now.
My latest book is The Women Who Ran Away and is about two women, Grace and Deira, who meet on a car ferry from Ireland to France. Both have reasons for travelling alone but a sudden change of circumstance mean that they end up driving together. As a friendship forms between them, Deira helps Grace try to solve a complicated mystery that her late husband has left her. This takes them on a spectacular journey along the French Atlantic coast and through the heart of Spain to Cartagena on the Mediterranean sea. By the end of the novel they’ve completed both a physical and an emotional journey as they discover that sharing their secrets turns out to be a strength and not a weakness, and that there’s always more than one solution to a problem.

4. A bit about your process of writing.

I try to write every day but that’s not always possible. I generally work for a couple of hours in the morning, then take a break and return for some more writing in the afternoon. I move backwards and forwards through the novel, writing a few chapters and then editing them before moving on.

5. Do you plan or just write?

I wish I was an author who planned! But I can’t. I start at the beginning with a vague idea and just hope for the best.

6. What about word count?

I don’t get hung up on a daily word count, especially at the start of the novel, but I try to write in scenes. If I finish a scene I’ll take a break before moving to the next one. That means sometimes writing a few hundred words, sometimes significantly more.

7. How do you do your structure?

Badly, to be honest. But the process of writing, then editing, writing, then editing helps. I usually come up with a slightly more formal plan about a third of the way through the novel when I have a better idea of the characters and how to move them through the story.

8. What do you find hard about writing?

Sitting at the laptop. It’s physically demanding even though you don’t realise it. Most of my author friends have bad backs and I’m no exception. I try to take more mini-breaks now. Distractions are more of a problem these days than they used to be with social media getting in the way. I’m more easily distracted now than before.

9. What do you love about writing?

Creating characters, seeing them grow and evolve and take control of their own stories. Sometimes the research is good too!

10. Advice for other writers?

Don’t get hung up on trying to write for a genre, or following weird rules about how your book should be structured. Write the story that’s inside you in the way that suits you best. Do remember, though, that while joining various groups about writing and following them on social media can make you feel less alone, the only thing that will get your book written is sitting down and writing it. Talking about writing isn’t actually writing. Reading about writing isn’t writing. The only person who can write your book is you.

Sheila is @sheilaoflanagan on Twitter and follow Headline too @headlinepg

Fair Warning By Michael Connoelly Book Review

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Michael Connoelly, Fair Warning

There is a reason Stephen King calls Michael Connelly ‘a master of the genre.’ Pacy and perfect, Fair Warning is another superb thriller that you will not be able to put down. The book resonates with our present truth. Jack McEvoy is a journalist who is accused of murder and he uses his own skills to uncover the truth. Michael Connelly was a police reporter for the Los Angeles Times and as he says himself he puts ‘the truth in my novels  and research then like a reporter in a story.’ You can tell 

Fair Warning is a must read for any lover of crime novels, and even for those who are not. Superb. 

Jack McEvoy is a reporter with a track record in finding killers. But he’s never been accused of being one himself.

Jack went on one date with Tina Portrero. The next thing he knows, the police are at his house telling Jack he’s a suspect in her murder.

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like being accused of a crime he didn’t commit. Or maybe it’s because the method of her murder is so chilling that he can’t get it out of his head.

But as he uses his journalistic skills to open doors closed to the police, Jack walks a thin line between suspect and detective – between investigation and obsession – on the trail of a killer who knows his victims better than they know themselves…

Riveting, original and terrifying – this masterpiece from Michael Connelly is the best thriller you will read this summer.

Fair Warning By Michael Connoelly is available here.

Hideaway By Nora Roberts Book Review

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Some books grip you and never let go. This happened with Hideaway. Written by prolific writer Nora Roberts, Hideaway is about the daughter of a Hollywood dynasty that gets kidnapped. Does not sound cheery, does it? Yet it is a riveting book full of depth that draws you in and never lets you go until the final page. It has it all: crime, romance, mystery, Hollywood, and a kick-ass heroine. What more could you want?

One day, she thought, one moment, one innocent game. How was it that day, that moment, that game never seemed to end?

Caitlyn Sullivan is just nine years old when a game of hide and seek at a family party will change her life forever.

The betrayal she experienced that night will shape Caitlyn’s life – and for years she runs and runs, hiding from the aftermath of the trauma. But Caitlyn comes to realise that if she wants to not just survive but thrive, she must return to the family home to face up to her past.

What happened that night may always haunt Caitlyn but she must decide if it’s what you’re running from that matters. Or who finds you.

Hideaway is available here.

Books You Should Read Now

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The Will To Succeed By Christine Raafat. Perfect for fans of historical fiction and kick-ass heroines. An impressive amount of research has clearly gone into this great book. 

When the 15-year-old Lady Anne Clifford’s father died in 1605, she was his sole surviving child and expecting to inherit the Cliffords’ great northern estates. But the Earl of Cumberland leaves a will which ignores an ancient law and bequeaths the lands to his brother, in the belief that a prophecy by his great-grandfather will eventually come true and return the estates to Anne. She and her mother vow to contest the will.

Anne spends the next three decades battling for what she believes is rightfully hers. She risks everything by opposing her beloved husband, her family and friends, the nobility, the law courts, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the King. She steadfastly (and treasonably) refuses to accept the King’s decision, whatever the consequences, but is defeated and left with the prophecy as her only hope.

Widowed at thirty-four, she survives an anxious period alone with her two young daughters before surprising everyone with an ill-judged second marriage which gives her access to the highest in the land. But the Civil War destroys that power and confines the 52-year-old Anne to a grand palace in London for six years. Still convinced of her rights, will she ever attain “ye landes of mine inheritance”?

The Will To Succeed By Christine Raafat is available here.

The Storm By Amanda Jennings. A stunningly brilliant book about coercive control. Rich and atmospheric. I raced through it. 

To the outside world Hannah married the perfect man. Behind the closed doors of their imposing home it’s a very different story. Nathan controls everything Hannah does. He chooses her clothes, checks her receipts, and keeps her passport locked away. But why does she let him? Years before, in the midst of a relentless storm, the tragic events of one night changed everything. And Hannah has been living with the consequences ever since. Keeping Nathan happy. Doing as she’s told.

But the past is about to catch up with them.

Set against the unforgiving backdrop of a Cornish fishing port in the ‘90s, this is a devastating exploration of the power of coercive control in a marriage where nothing is quite as it seems…

The Storm is available here.

The Night Fire by Michael Connelly. Another cracking Bosch novel. A riveting read full of twists and stunning prose. 

A JUDGE MURDERED IN A CITY PARK
Mickey Haller, the Lincoln Lawyer, defends the man accused.

A HOMELESS PERSON BURNED ALIVE
Detective Renée Ballard catches the case on the LAPD’s notorious graveyard shift.

AN UNSOLVED HOMICIDE FROM A LIFETIME AGO
Harry Bosch is left a missing case file by his mentor who passed away. He was the man who taught Bosch that everybody counts, or nobody counts. Why did he keep the case all these years? To find the truth – or bury it?

IN L.A. CRIME NEVER SLEEPS
But in Ballard, Bosch and Haller: the fire always burns. Will it light the way – or leave their lives in ashes?

The Night Fire is available here.

Living With The Long-Term Effects of Cancer by Dr Cordelia Galgut. This is an essential book for anyone with cancer. I cannot praise it highly enough. 

Challenging a number of myths about living long term with or after cancer, this book offers new insights by delving into areas that are not usually spoken about. Written from a dual perspective- that of a psychologist who had breast cancer and who copes with the long-term effects of treatment – the book contests the assumption that the afflicted person will simply ‘get better’ or ‘move through’ to a better situation. Emotional and physical side-effects can worsen over time and people living beyond or with cancer often endure a mismatch between expectations and reality, because they have been told that life would be easier than it actually is. This can leave both those suffering longer term and those close to them confused and unprepared. Including testimonies with people who have had a cancer diagnosis and people in the medical profession, the book signposts ways that professionals may help and offers prompts for friends and relatives to have useful and open conversations with the person affected. It gives voice to many people who feel that their suffering is disputed and diminished by the prevailing narrative around recovery. Galgut includes discussion on relationships, work, trauma, fear of recurrence and the role of therapy. Giving an unflinchingly honest perspective, Living with the Long-Term Effects of Cancer sheds light on these struggles, in the belief that bringing this conversation to the forefront is key to improving life for those who are affected by cancer and who suffer longer term from its effects.

Living With The Long-Term Effects of Cancer.

The First Lie by A.J Park. This is a hugely enjoyable thriller. It will leave you thinking about consequences long after you have read the last page. Keeps you hooked all the way through. 

A freak accident. An impossible choice. But what was…

THE FIRST LIE

When Paul Reeve comes home to find his wife in the bathroom, bloodied and shaking, his survival instinct kicks in.

Alice never meant to kill the intruder. She was at home, alone, and terrified. She doesn’t deserve to be blamed for it. Covering up the murder is their only option.

But the crime eats away at the couple and soon they can’t trust anyone – even one another…

The First Lie is available here.


The Summer We Ran Away by Jenny Oliver. This is the perfect summer novel. It is funny, relatable and full of fun and fizz. It is also a great novel that shows that the grass is not always greener on the other side (to use a cliche), and that we have the power to change our lives if we want to. 

It was meant to be the party of the summer…

In Cedar Road, everyone is preparing for Lexi’s ‘White Hot’ summer party. For one night, parking squabbles and petitions are put aside as neighbours sip Prosecco under the fairy lights and gather by the hot tub to marvel at Lexi’s effortlessly glamorous life with Hot Hamish.

For Julia, it’s a chance to coax husband Charlie out of his potting shed and into a shirt so they can have a welcome break from the hellish house renovation they’ve been wrestling with. And it’s a chance for Julia to pretend – just for a night – that her life is as perfect as Lexi’s.

But when, during the party, one of Julia’s WhatsApp messages falls into the wrong hands and reveals her most intimate thoughts, things reach boiling point…

And when all the neighbours know exactly what you’re thinking, there’s only one thing to do.

Run away.

It’s going to be a summer Julia will never forget…

The Summer We Ran Away is available here.

 

What will you read?

The Operator by Gretchen Berg | Book Review

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The Operator, Gretchen Berg, book, book review, I read The Operator in awe. The relationship between the characters, the complexities of relationships, the jaw-dropping setting, this book is just perfect. Set in the 1950s in Wooster, Ohio, it follows switchboard operator Vivian Dalton who eavesdrops on the residents of the town. This comes back to bite her when she hears some gossip about her own life. 

This pieces of gossip sends Vivian on a path of discovery and the consequences come thick and fast. I loved so much about this book: the setting is done so well. Gretchen really knows her stuff. She writes so well from different people’s perspectives. This book is full of depth and luscious descriptions. It keeps you guessing. When you pick it up it is impossible to put it back down. 

It’s 1952. The switchboard operators in Wooster, Ohio, love nothing more than to eavesdrop on their neighbours’ conversations, and gossip about what they learn. Vivian Dalton is no different (despite her teenage daughter’s disapproval), and always longs to hear something scandalous. But on the night of December 15th, she wishes she hadn’t. The secret that’s shared by a stranger on the line threatens to rip the rug of Vivian’s life from under her.

Vivian may be mortified, but she’s not going to take this lying down. She wants the truth, no matter how painful it may be. But one secret tends to lead to another . . .

This moving, heart-felt and ultimately uplifting novel brilliantly weaves together an irresistible portrayal of a town buzzing with scandal, and an unforgettable story of marriage, motherhood and the unbreakable ties of family.

The Operator is available here.

 

My Writing Process Sandie Jones

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Sandie Jones, AuthorI’ve been a journalist for the past 25 years, interviewing celebrities for national newspapers and magazines. I started writing fiction in 2017, because writing a book was on my bucket list, but I never imagined it being read by my mother, let alone be published and reviewed by thousands!

My debut The Other Woman was published in 2018 and was a New York Times Bestseller, as well as a Reese Witherspoon Pick. My second novel The First Mistake was published last summer and The Half Sister is out on 25th June.

What is your latest book?

The Half Sister, which is about Kate and Lauren,  two sisters who each feel that the other has the perfect life. When a woman turns up, whilst they’re having a family Sunday lunch, claiming to be their half sister, their worlds are turned upside down and it sends them in opposite directions, in their quest for the truth. But neither of them could ever imagine what they’re about to discover.

Please could you tell us a bit about your process of writing?

It’s changed since writing my first book, as I’m no longer doing it just for myself. There are editors and publishers involved now so instead of, quite literally, making it up as I go along, I now have to have a clear idea of what the story is, where it’s going and how best to get there.

Do you plan or just write?

It goes against my natural instinct to plan anything – I love to just write and see where we takes me, but as I say, I do have to have a solid outline of an idea before I start, which involves lots of spider diagrams and boxes on a whiteboard. Though once I get started, it all tends to change anyway!

How do you think about structure?

I used to think that the books I liked to read had one big twist at the end, but since writing myself, I’ve found that actually, reveals are peppered throughout. I tend to drop a bomb of some description at each third, so as to keep the reader interested and engaged.

Is there anything you find hard about writing?
The planning stage is particularly difficult for me as I feel I’m forcing myself to come up with every twist and turn in advance. However, I am learning that it’s good to have a loose structure to work to and I have understanding editors who know that my best ideas are likely to come when I’m writing.

What do you love about writing?

Everything else! I adore creating characters and getting to know them. I’m at the stage with my fourth book where I don’t want to put it down. It feels like I’m reading a story I’m really invested in and can’t wait to get back to it, to see what happens next. I forget that’s down to me to decide and that’s a great feeling!

Sandie Jones’s books are available here.

More information on Sandie Jones.

Her Husband’s Mistake By Sheila O’Flanagan

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Her Husband's Mistake, Sheila O'FlanaganThere are few things more satisfying to me than reading a book with a layered, well-written female character. Of course, Sheila O’Flanagan is known for writing amazing characters but the pay off remains. Her Husband’s Mistake takes a tale as old as time- a cheating husband- and writes about it in a way that is both satisfying and complex.

Her Husband’s Mistake has more pages than the average book I read and I found myself able to really dive into the story. Women tend to give more of themselves to others and end up in the role of the carer. I found this book picks up on so much about being a woman, how hard it is and how you can lose your identity. It takes strength to find it again. I recommend this brilliant book to anyone who loves to read books about people finding their feet and flourishing.

Dave’s made a BIG mistake. What’s Roxy going to do about it? The riveting new novel from No. 1 bestselling author Sheila O’Flanagan. Perfect for readers of Marian Keyes and Catherine Alliott.

Roxy’s marriage has always been rock solid.

After twenty years, and with two carefree kids, she and Dave are still the perfect couple.

Until the day she comes home unexpectedly, and finds Dave in bed with their attractive, single neighbour.

Suddenly Roxy isn’t sure about anything – her past, the business she’s taken over from her dad, or what her family’s future might be. She’s spent so long caring about everyone else that she’s forgotten what she actually wants. But something has changed. And Roxy has a decision to make.

Whether it’s with Dave, or without him, it’s time for Roxy to start living for herself…

Her Husband’s Mistake is available here.