Tag Archives: Catherine Balavage

The Lemon Tree Hotel By Rosanna Ley

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The Lemon Tree Hotel By Rosanna Ley

The weather is hotting up and this glorious, sun-drenched novel from Rosanna Ley should make its way into your suitcase. This is perfect feel-good escapism.

A story about love, family secrets, and a little piece of heaven . . .

In the beautiful village of Vernazza, the Mazzone family have transformed an old convent overlooking the glamorous Italian Riviera into the elegant Lemon Tree Hotel. For Chiara, her daughter Elene and her granddaughter Isabella, the running of their hotel is the driving force in their lives.

One day, two unexpected guests check in. The first, Dante, is a face from Chiara’s past, but what exactly happened between them all those years ago, Elene wonders. Meanwhile, Isabella is preoccupied with the second guest, a mysterious young man who seems to know a lot about the history of the old convent and the people who live there. Isabella is determined to find out his true intentions and discover the secret past of the Lemon Tree Hotel.

Available here.

I am a Freelance Working Mother and This is What it is Like

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working mother, working, parent, freelance, parenting, writer, writing, Catherine BalavageHello there from the trenches of working motherhood. I am a freelance writer and editor with two children under three. Today I feel faintly refreshed after having a few hours sleep last night. I get asked a lot what it is like being a freelance writing mother so I want to take you through my week. I will also update you as time goes on. Welcome to my world.

Last week my son was ill and not in nursery. He goes to nursery part-time. Three hours five days a week. Thankfully it is a nursery in a state school so is free. Unlike his previous nursery which cost over £1600 a term. Anyway, back to the point. So my son was ill, my daughter had a little cold and the freelance Gods thought this would be a good time for me to get a lot of work. I find as a freelancer that I get a lot of work all at once, or barely any. I make more money at the beginning of the year than I do the end. So my son was ill, I had no childcare and the baby was not sleeping at night. Even more than usual. Now, she doesn’t sleep anyway. She is sixteen months old and has slept though the night once. So I am one tired mama. And as usual, everything was happening at once.

I got a lot of work, hundreds of emails to go through, this mag to run and a million other things to do. It is full on and stressful. I would not want it any other way but I would quite like a spa day. To top it off my husband went off to Scotland for two days on a work trip. I swear, I do not know how single mothers do it. Both children were up all night and I ended up shaking from head to toe in my bed from the exhaustion. I get people telling me to just take it easy when it comes to my work, or to quit. It infuriates me. No one tells me to not be up all night with the baby, or to not do domestic crap, but doing something for myself and continuing to work on my career? Yeah, let’s give up the thing that keeps me sane.

In December I passed a writing course I was doing. It was intense and stressful doing it while looking after two children but I now have the certificate. The sense of pride and accomplishment always makes it worthwhile. I love working. There are many benefits to work other than money. There is the social aspect, the accomplishment, the contribution to society and the world as a whole. Work is important so I will carry on. Even when it means keeping one eye on the children while working on my computer.

I wrote my first novel by putting my son in the pram and walking until he fell asleep. I would then write two thousand words. Every day. No excuses. It worked and that is the thing about being a freelance working mother. You find what works and then you do it. It leaves you with valuable skills. I would not give it up for anything. I hope you find some of the upcoming posts helpful. Feel free to comment and you can email me at frostmagazine at gmail.com

 

Parenting is Not a Spectator Sport

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Dear readers: rant alert.

Sitting in a cafe I am trying to relax but I cannot. There is a group of older women staring and talking about me and my two young children. Occasionally they point or make a gesture. I am fuming. Who the hell do they think they are? A few weeks later the same thing happens. And then again, and again. You see, there are people who think that a women (or even a man, I am sure) taking care of her children, or, God Forbid, relaxing while they play with a toy or colour in, is a spectator sport. Some kind of zoo animals to watch and make comments about. If it has been an isolated incident it would have been fine. Just a table full of rude women who think they can loudly talk about us and stare. The entertainment of the afternoon. Do not get me wrong. People are not always being insulting. They are mentioning how cute the children are, talking about what they are doing. Asking questions or talking about their own experiences. But that does not make it okay. We are taught at a young age that staring is rude, because it is. We are taught at a young age that talking about people is rude. As is pointing at people. So why do people think they have carte blanch when it comes to little children and their parents?

I remember being on holiday once when the two women at the next table made nasty comments all through our meal that our baby son should be in bed. It was 7pm and the first day of our holiday. When they had finished their food they came over and cooed over my infant son. Making nice comments and saying he was gorgeous. This after bitching for hours and ruining our meal. Once in the Waitrose Cafe I had two women turn their chairs around to stare at us. I was enjoying myself and my children were behaving. A rare moment of peace. I gave them an evil look, downed my drink and left. Full of rage. Being a parent is hard. Any downtime that is taken from you feels like a theft.

We seem to live in a world where it is becoming harder for people to mind their own business. The truth is: I am sick of being nice to these people. I have been so British about it and just ignored it. Occasionally I have given a look at the very rude people. The ones who do not get the message. Being the bigger person is emotionally and physically draining. So I think that the next people who want to stare at my family and/or make comments will be told where to go. Only when people get called out on their behaviour do they think about what they are doing. Hell, they may even change and become more polite. It is worth a chance.

Has this ever happened to you?

You Got This by Bryony Gordon Book Review

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You Got This by Bryony Gordon Book Review

You Got This is a truly fabulous book for teenage girls. Being a teenager is hard, and being a teenage girl even more so. It is a time I would not want to go back to. Especially with all of the toxic message girls get now. The rise of social media has also caused problems. This brilliant book from the amazing Bryony Gordon covers periods, comparisons and has a fantastic chapter letting teenage girls know they are not snowflakes, but are instead brave people who are standing up for equality on the basis of gender and race. I am so sick of the word ‘snowflake’. The generation who calls out racism and sexism anytime they see it are not ‘sensitive’. They are brave and making the world a better place. This book also covers mental health extensively which is to be commended. The mental health of our children is so important and educating them about mental health is essential. I also loved the bit on how girls are taught to compare themselves to others. This book is fun, smart, entertaining and full of everything I wish I had been told when I was a teenager. Absolutely brilliant.

 

I wanted to be a unicorn. I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to be an astronaut.

But the thing I really wanted to be more than anything else, was a little less like me.

It was only recently that I realised not wanting to be me was at the heart of every dumb decision I ever made. And so now I am writing this book containing all the life lessons I wish someone had taught me.

A book for the teenage girl in me. And for every teenage girl out there. Because the most powerful thing you can be when you grow up is yourself.

You Got This is available here.

 

Girl, Balancing & Other Stories by Helen Dunmore – Her Final Collection

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I loved this stunning collection of short stories from Helen Dunmore. There was a tinge of sadness that this will be her final collection, but we are lucky to have had such a literary talent. Girl, Balancing is also well edited, with the novel being broken down into three section: The Nina Stories, The Present and The Past. A wonderful way to get lost for a few hours. Dunmore excels in historical knowledge and razor sharp observation. The stories are true slices of life.

This very special collection of short stories was gathered by Helen Dunmore’s family in the months following Helen’s death in 2017. Helen’s writing was everywhere, on the computer, on letters to her children, in notebooks, on her ipad, even on her phone. Girl, Balancing is a collection of the very best of those short stories, some fully developed and others partial fragments of what occasionally became novels throughout her career. It is a wonderful insight into the writer’s craft – how one hones plots and develops characters, how Helen’s insight into people and the world surrounding us have always informed her writing. It has been 20 years since Helen published a short story collection and as Helen’s son, Patrick describes in his Introduction, contained within these pages is ‘the pleasure of discovering something new’, even for those familiar with Helen’s novels.

Girl, Balancing
& Other Stories

HELEN DUNMORE

£8.99 Windmill Paperback 7 March 2019

HER FINAL COLLECTION

In this remarkable final volume of short stories, Helen Dunmore explores the fragile ties between passion, familial love, parenthood, friendship and grief often from people who are at turning points in their lives.

With her extraordinary imagination, her gift for making history human, and her talent for acute observation and lyrical storytelling, Dunmore offers a deep insight into the human condition with a collection that will delight and move all her readers.

Helen Dunmore was an award-winning novelist, children’s author and poet who will be remembered for the depth and breadth of her fiction. Rich and intricate, yet narrated with a deceptive simplicity that made all of her work accessible and heartfelt, her writing stood out for the fluidity and lyricism of her prose, and her extraordinary ability to capture the presence of the past.

Her first novel, Zennor in Darkness, explored the events which led D. H. Lawrence to be expelled from Cornwall on suspicion of spying, and won the McKitterick Prize. Her third novel, A Spell of Winter, won the inaugural Orange Prize for Fiction in 1996, and she went on to become a Sunday Times bestseller with The Siege, which was described by Antony Beevor as a ‘world-class novel’ and was shortlisted for the Whitbread Novel of the Year and the Orange Prize. Published in 2010, her eleventh novel, The Betrayal, was longlisted for the Man Booker Prize and shortlisted for the Orwell Prize and the Commonwealth Writers Prize, and The Lie in 2014 was shortlisted for the Walter Scott Prize for Historical Fiction and the 2015 RSL Ondaatje Prize.

Her final novel, Birdcage Walk, deals with legacy and recognition – what writers, especially women writers, can expect to leave behind them – and was described by the Observer as ‘the finest novel Helen Dunmore has written’.

Helen was known to be an inspirational and generous author, championing emerging voices and other established authors. She also gave a large amount of her time to supporting literature, independent bookshops all over the UK, and arts organisations across the world. She died in June 2017.

What The World Needs Now Is Love. Balance Editor Interviews Peace Activist & Mindfulness Author

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Annabel's Jungle Bar, annabel's, Catherine Balavage, Stephen Fulder, Sophie Scott, Mindulness, LoveIn a world that is so divided I was excited to head to Annabels to hear Sophie Scott, editor of Balance Magazine and Author and Peace Activist Stephen Fulder of What’s Beyond Mindfulness come together for a talk on mindfulness and love. Stephen Fulder was full of wisdom and Sophie Scott was adept at getting the wisdom by asking great questions. Fulder says that we have to love ourselves. It comes from within. He has spent time in Israel educating people to look differently at themselves and others. A 10-year-old Palestinian boy was so moved by Fulder and his words that he told him that he had seen so much suffering that he was sure he human heart was cold and hard, but meeting Fulder meant he then knew there was goodness in the human heart. Fulder says people have to tell themselves I am a whole human being. I love myself. That people have to be a friend of their spirit. We have to allow ourselves to be the shape we are.

When it comes with dealing with difficult and negative people he says that first; you have to look at the person. No automatic pilot. See the person and look at their pain. There will be a lot of ignorance and blindness. Protect yourself by not digesting the stuff. Refuse to let it get to you. Don’t let it get inside. Feel steady and stand your ground. Listen but do not take it in. See the buttons but do not accept it. Say ‘I see you, I see this, I let if go’.

Stephen Fulder is a buddhist but he says being buddhist does not mean taking everything but you have to challenge your ego. If you are the one in the wrong saying sorry has wisdom to it. It is gone, it is finished. A line drawn on the water is just gone. Started afresh in the garden of now.

We are conditioned to run after goals but we can stop and just be mindful. Be happy with our lives and who we are. Rather than just chasing the next thing. The key is joy.

This was a wonderful talk to discuss how we can heal division and conflict both at a societal level and also within our families and communities.  https://annabels.co.uk/events/january-wellness

Here is a link to a recent article that Fulder wrote for Balance on using mindfulness to heal conflict. https://balance.media/resolving-conflict-christmas/ Fulder is doing a tour of UK pubs bringing mindfulness to the masses called Buddha At The Bar.

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What’s Beyond Mindfulness is a life-changing guide on every aspect of modern life from using mindfulness to resolve conflict to how to age wisely, deal with tiredness, find fulfilment at work and make friends with your body, heart and mind. It’s a uniquely practical exploration of Buddhism in everyday life that will appeal to people of any faith and to those of none. What’s Beyond Mindfulness was a bestseller in Israel for 18 weeks and is written by leading Peace Activist Stephen Fulder, founder of the Israel Insight Society which has been at the helm of peace talks between Palestinians and Israelis and guided thousands of people in Israel and worldwide in exploring Buddhist teachings. The book is endorsed by Jack Kornfield and James Baraz.

The book is available here.

Exclusive Paddy Ashdown Interview ‘I Am Devoted To The Liberal Democrats’

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Here is part three of our exclusive Paddy Ashdown interview. Take a look at part one and two.

That’s a good answer. In your diaries you are clear about how close you were to Labour before and after the ’97 election, and that PR was the price of coalition. Given that the Lib Dems eventually went into coalition with the Tories, with just a promise of a referendum on AV, how do you think events would have unfolded if you’d accepted a similar deal in ’97?”

I don’t know. I mean I can’t take you through the what would have happened parts of history. I suspect the circumstances would have been very different if we also had the referendum on a sensible system rather than a lesser sensible one. I don’t think you would have had the leading party in the country at the time deliberately doing what they could at the time to destroy the motion and the national newspapers at the time supporting them. That is the ‘what would have happened’ bits of history and we could all spend hours deciding how the world would be different  if Britain hadn’t won the battle of Waterloo; It’s very interesting but it doesn’t bear much relevance.

Paddy_Ashdown_3You also said in your diaries that you were worried that the party would start with Gladstone and end with Ashdown, what do you think was your greatest achievement as the Liberal Democrat Leader?

I have never ever believed that I am a good judge of my own achievements, I leave that to others to decide on what your achievements are. I was very proud to lead the Liberal Democrats for eleven years, I loved it, I am devoted to them. I was also very proud to be the International High Representative in Bosnia for the British Government.  No doubt I made mistakes in both of those jobs, probably quite a lot of them. When you have the privilege of doing jobs like that you can use it to your advantage and I quickly realised what I was good at and what I was bad at.

What do you think will happen with the Liberal Democrats in 2015?

I actually think all the polls now are wrong. I have to rely, as I always have done, on the good judgement of the british electorate, I think we have a good story to tell, we have been in government, everyone said we couldn’t do it. I think we have been more united than the Tories, tougher than the Tories, and played a really serious role in bringing our country through a crisis. If I know the British electorate at all well, when the moment comes, I think we’ll reap the dividends of that. I also think that the British electorate probably, having had the benefit of the coalition may not be very happy returning to absolute power in anybody’s hands. Also, having a coalition of some sort forces people to work together instead of spending all their time scratching each other’s eyes out. Maybe that is a much better system than what we had in the past. Those two things will help us I think.
Who Is Your Favourite Politician?

I think as someone said to me; ‘Who is my hero?’ and I said William Wilberforce who is as unlike me as you could possibly get, apart from Gladstone of course, who is the greatest Prime Minister this country has ever had both internationally and domestically, he was a man who said, “We did not march across the law of anti-slavery, we did not march towards a monument in the distance, we gathered friends like flowers along the way.” and I think he was an extraordinary politician.

Do you think we should have intervened in Syria?

No, I don’t. I’m against intervening in Syria while the opposition is so fractured and defused. Anyways, they’re being funded by extremist elements and encouraging extremist elements so, no, I thought that would lead us towards an engagement in what I think is a widening religious war. I did however think we should intervene in defense of one of the principles pillars of international law; a prohibition on the use of chemical weapons that has stood since 1926 and strained even Hitler and Stalin, and I thought that unless we were prepared to show strength to Assad, not by intervention because we wouldn’t have done, but there was a price to pay that was painful for breaking this principle of international law, then it would only have encouraged the wider spread of chemical weapons. So, no, I don’t think we should have intervened in Syria but I do think we should defend International Law and indeed one of the most important pillars of the international law that preserves some semblance of civilised behaviour in the prosecution of wars.

You testified against Slobodan Milosevic. Was that scary?

No, it wasn’t scary. It was more scary being bombarded by his troops. I mean, I testified about being in the middle of the Albanian villages when they were being bombarded by the main battle units of his army, that was much more scary.

I can understand that. You have done a lot of different things in your life. What is your favourite?

I think there is nothing I’ve done that will match my sense of pride of being a member of parliament for my own community of Yeovil. There is no thing you could ever do that matched being the representative in Westminster of the community you live in and love. So if somebody said you can have one line to put on your gravestone it would be ‘Member of Parliament for Yeovil’.

What was it like being an intelligence officer?

I was a perfectly ordinary diplomat

What is the best advice you have ever received?

Never stop learning.

Thank you Paddy.

 What do you think?

MumsThread On The Kindness of Strangers

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baby, shared parental leave, feminism, equality, childcare, leave, maternal, work, working mothers, lean inMy last few pieces have been quite negative so I thought I would share something positive today: just how kind people can be when you have a child. That knowing look that other parents give you, that it-is-going-to-be-okay smile that complete stranger do to make you feel better. I remember trying to get into my flat once and struggling to get the pram through the heavy door, a man in a van stopped and asked if I needed help, followed by two other people. That was three people in a row. I was really touched and it made my day. I didn’t want to put any of them out- the pram just needed an extra push at that point- but when you are a parent, especially one with a baby, any kindness really does make your day.

I have had people come up to me in restaurants and tell them how beautiful my son is (I know, proud mum alert). Babies and toddlers are social lubricant. I have talked to more people since I had my son than I had in years. It does feel like when you have a child you enter some kind of club. Not in a bad way, just in a way that other parents will usually strike up a conversation or try to help if they can. Having a child opens up an entire new world. I took my son to Baby Ballet recently, and it was so sweet seeing him with all of the other children, but it was also great being surrounded by other parents. Having a child can be an isolating experience, any kindness you can get, any human contact at all can make or break a day. I am grateful to every single person who took their time. Even if it was just a smile.

What are your experiences of parenting? Share them with us by emailing frostmagazine@gmail.com, comment below or tweet us at @frostmag