Being an expat affords some amazing experiences, luxuries and some frustrations. In a previous expat life I had friends who described it as ‘not real life’ – it is real, it’s our life right now, surreal though it might sometimes be. 

Take a typical moment in time in Bangkok.  I was invited to join a friend in her first ante-natal appointment for her fourth pregnancy. Hubby felt his role was done so it was my privilege to share a wonderful moment with her and to have some fun too. Afterwards we were waiting outside for a taxi to go to lunch. I say waiting, we actually got proactive and went straight to the area where they are dropping off to pick one up.

‘We were met with, ‘No madam you go get number, please’.

There’s a system. Wow. 

We went to the taxi desk & got number 49. There are many people milling around and obviously we don’t expect to get in the first taxi. Several minutes later a lady with number 52 clutched in her palm was clearly edging to the front of the ‘queue’…there is no queue just a mass of people. 

I don’t really like pointless rules but if there is a system, queue or not – you wait your turn lady or I will take you down. I’m British after all, and we invented the queue.

Realizing we probably needed to register with Clipboard-lady I told her our destination & she wrote it next to 49. We’re back in the game. Number 52 can wait in line. 

After many more minutes it became apparent that the system is not a system. 

Clipboard-lady approached the next available taxi and gave him a range of options on which location he wanted next, which often he declined & drove off. Oh for goodness sake -it’s 37 degrees humid as a Chinese Laundry we’ve be waiting for almost 1/2 hour, my friend is in wedges and I am watching my long awaited Dean & Delucalunch disappear up the ‘system’.

So I took things into my own hands & walked down the line and asked a taxi way back in the taxi queue if he will take us to Emporium. ‘Madam, number?’ he said. 

I replied, ‘We have a number but there is seriously no system. Taxi just choose where he wants to go. You want to go to Emporium?’ 

‘Ok but 100bht’

‘Done.’ We jumped in with our laminated 49 (stick that in your ‘system’) and drive off. 

The traffic is horrible. We pass a Dean & Deluca and get stuck in a nose to tail traffic, so I hand him his 100bht & say ‘Kap kun ka we get out here.’ 

‘No madam. Just round corner.’ He replies.

‘Oh ok’

Finally we pull up at…Central Embassy. Not quite where we wanted to be.

Yep, surreal it is. But we love it.