Tag Archives: Comedy

Torn

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Frost fiction, short stories, poems, non fiction, fiction.

Eddie’s mouth was hanging open.  He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened.

Around him people were staring, forks held comically close to mouths, awkward coughs and murmurs circling the room like sharks.  Behind him a door slammed closed.

“Can I get you a towel, sir?”

The Maître D remained professionally aloof but Eddie could see sympathy in his eyes.

“I,…. think I’ll have the bill, please.”

Eddie picked up the two halves of paper, her telephone number shredded.  They’d been talking about their blind date.  She’d asked what he enjoyed.

Somehow “Chilling to Netflix” was the wrong answer.

 

Another in our new series of 100-word short stories by Tim Austin at onewordonestory.org. Whatever genre you love, there’s a story you’ll enjoy.

Come back on Friday for another. See you then!

THE 10 FUNNIEST JOKES OF ALL TIME

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“Why was the sand wet?”, “What do you call a blind dinosaur?” and “What did the policeman say to his tummy?” have been voted the funniest gags EVER according to children.

The recent Beano survey polled kids aged 7-12 to clear up once and for all which gags get the most giggles but in all honesty, the findings are consistent with our adult laugh-o-meter too…

Check out the innocent gems below:

 

  1. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed! (52%)
  2. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus (45%)
  3. What did the policeman say to his tummy? Freeze you’re under a vest (44%)
  4. Doctor, Doctor! Help, I feel like a pair of curtains! Pull yourself together then (42%)
  5. What’s the fastest vegetable? A runner bean! (41%)
  6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! (40%)
  7. What’s brown and sticky? A stick! (39%)
  8. What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer (38%)
  9. Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs? You might step in a poodle! (38%)
  10. Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy (37%

 

Beano’s national school joke competition is open for entries from April 1st. Primary school pupils or teachers (on behalf of their pupils) can enter via www.beano.com/jokes 

TheBruvs – Animated Comedy Series

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Why hasn’t there been a massively successful UK animated sitcom – in the style of US juggernauts The Simpsons or Family Guy?

That’s a question that got me thinking about 10 years ago. Just over two years ago I decided to try to do something about it. That is how TheBruvs.com was born.

Short, punchy comedy animations featuring a family of London villains trying to go straight in Essex – and failing, the films feature brothers Doug and Den, their dad, sister Janice, her son Jason and the lovely Chanterelle.

It’s my first proper venture into animation, although I was lucky enough to write a piece for Homer Simpson, no less, for a message to Simon Cowell on his This Is Your Life programme.

My background is news, current affairs, comedy and entertainment TV shows. Throw in projects with Jeremy Clarkson and some Top Gear credits and that makes up my CV – working with a lot of household names along the way.

But I wanted to do animation. I had the idea for The Bruvs and touted it round broadcasters and production companies. The costs and time involved with animation put all off.

Then I managed to persuade award winning animation director Eoin Clarke and sound and editing wizard Paul Richmond to come in on the project with me.

It is a passion project – which means persuading others to work on something with you on less than a shoestring.

We decided to have a go and put the films on YouTube. We also set up a website. And I had to get to grips with social media… setting up The Bruvs’ facebook, twitter, tumblr and instagram accounts.

Two years on and we have 17 films on YouTube – and 11 films running on the UKTV channel Dave and their on-demand service UKTVplay.

We have many more big ideas. I’m not saying we are anywhere near The Simpsons, American Dad or South Park but The Bruvs is growing and there has been a lot of positive feedback from round the world.

To have taken something – literally – from page to screen – is very rewarding. The instant feedback from the social media sites is also a great encouragement – on the most part. Our hope is to gradually lengthen the episodes and develop them and the characters into more of a sitcom style. We have many plans for all the characters.

Now we have music too – thanks to the very talented Stig Winslet and Pete Harbour – who have brought a new dimension to The Bruvs with songs about their antics. If something we come up with amuses us, we tend to put it into the films – subject to our budget and time constraints.

It’s still relatively early days, but The Bruvs are growing and are finding their feet on the world stage.

They have come a long way since they moved to Essex. It might be something in the water.

By Ian Brown

TV writer and producer / co-creator TheBruvs.com

THEBRUVS

CREDITS  

Writer : Ian Brown

Director : Eoin Clarke

Sound : Paul Richmond

Music : Stig Winslet, Pete Harbour

 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI5al_Dl4V0kh-dxBsbjyig

twitter / facebook : @TheBruvsTV

instagram: thebruvstv

 

A Damsel In Distress, Chichester Festival Theatre – review

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Photo credit Johan Persson

Photo credit Johan Perssonzpfile000

A Damsel In Distress
Chichester Festival Theatre
Until 27 June
Box office: 01243 781312
www.cft.org.uk

Gad zukes! What a delightful piece of froth! Perfect for summer, especially given the Festival Theatre’s glorious setting (what could be jollier than a pre-theatre G&T in the park?), the 1930s novel by PG Wodehouse initially adapted as a play, and later as a film for which Gershwin composed songs, enjoys new life as a stage musical by Jeremy Sams and Robert Hudson.

A topping blend of music, song and ripping fun, the story is about as daft as they come. Maud, a headstrong 1920s English rose, is locked in the tower of a stately home and guarded by her dragon of an aunt who is determined to prevent her niece marrying a penniless poet. But it’s an American theatre director who is smitten with the girl. If he can’t sleigh the dragon then he’s set on shoving her out of the way so that he can at least declare his heart. Spamalot meets Downton Abbey. But with more tap dancing.

Marshalling the whole charming caboodle, Rob Ashford directs and choreographs. The score may not be the most memorable in the world, but a cast of ace singers and dancers give it all they’ve got, adding plenty of visual fizz as they belt and hoof with as much infectious enthusiasm as dazzling skill. Clutching mops, rakes, and even oversized quivering jellies, routines are high octane and high camp.

It’s a terrific team effort but Isla Blair as fire-breathing Lady Caroline is a splendid battle-axe. Richard Fleeshman as George and Summer Strallen as the feisty ‘damsel’ of the title are in superb voice, while Nicholas Farrell as the aging lord of the manor who rediscovers his va va vroom when he meets showgirl Billie (a warm and effortlessly sexy Sally Ann Triplett) is gloriously funny. Delighted to have found a siren who not only has a cleavage like the Rhonda Valley but who also shares his passion for pigs and roses, the pair provide some of the production’s most uproarious moments.

Further comedic expertise is demonstrated by Desmond Barrit as butler Keggs, and also David Roberts. Managing to switch roles between Perkins the theatre director and Pierre the highly strung chef, as the latter Roberts inspires yet more laughter. Richard Dempsey meanwhile is adorable as dim toff Reggie.

Designed by Christopher Oram, the set, as Reggie would say, is bally clever. Revolving rose gardens and castle turrets cunningly morph into the stage at the Savoy and the kitchen of a stately home.

Chekov it ain’t. Brilliantly executed blissful nonsense it most definitely is. Don’t be a frightful clot – book tickets today!

UK’s Most Beloved Comedies

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comedy, top comedy, UK, father ted, tv, funnyFor many years Britain has enjoyed something of an unparalleled reputation amongst global audiences for its hit comedies.

And with the global marketplace being ever more important to TV providers with the advent of new technologies, we thought we’d take a look back at some of the UK’s best comedies to see how they’ve succeeded.

The Goon Show

For many, The Goon Show set the ball rolling in terms of British comedy. Although it only featured on BBC Radio, it launched the careers of Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe and Spike Milligan as well as dozens of popular catchphrases that resonate to this very day.

Monty Python

And then in late sixties, six highly creative and chaotic individuals revolutionised comedy with Monty Python’s Flying Circus. The show lasted well over a decade and spawned many critically acclaimed films and is considered one of our national treasures.

The Young Ones

Borrowing some of Monty Python’s surreal humour and injecting it with a great deal of anarchism was the Young Ones. Starring Adrian Edmondson, Rik Mayall, Nigel Planer and Christopher Ryan, it signalled a new dawn for alternative comedy and ushered in a whole new wave of national moral panic!

Blackadder

Another classic comedy that capitalised on the new wave of alternative comedy stars was Blackadder that launched the careers of Rowan Atkinson, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie and Tony Robinson. Ingeniously setting the show over different historical periods allowed the show’s subversive humour to blossom to great effect.

Only Fools and Horses

One of the nation’s favourite comedies has to be Only Fools and Horses that saw the hapless Delboy and Rodney in their eternal struggle to be millionaires. Although the pair never fully managed to make their fortune, they still regularly return for Christmas specials.

Little Britain

Signalling a new wave of comedic talent for the 21st century, Little Britain relied on an old-school sketch show format with catchphrases and instantly recognisable characters. But what really propelled this show to legendary status were the talents of Matt Lucas and David Walliams, and Little Britain has become so popular that it now has its own slot game where players can win impressive bonuses whilst being mocked by their favourite Little Britain characters!

Father Ted

And finally, one of the most unlikely recent success stories is that of Father Ted. This classic series saw three priests on the remote Craggy Island survive a series of surreal and hilarious mishaps that perfectly sums up the eccentricities of living a somewhat backwards parochial life!

 

 

Reporter Compliments Rashida Jones On Her Tan “I’m Ethnic” She Responds

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In what has got to be one of the most awkward interviews ever, a reporter decided not to use common sense, decorum or even background research when she complimented biracial actress Rashida Jones on her “tan”.

Rashida took it in her stride when TNT correspondent Danielle Demski said to her, “You look amazing — gorgeous! You look like you’ve just come off an island or something. You’re very tan, very tropical.” The actress was walking the Screen Actors Guild Awards red carpet and after giving a laugh she replied, “I mean, you know, I’m ethnic.”

Demski laughed after hearing the response and said to camera: “It’s just being ethnic. That’s what it is.”

Rashida’s father is the African-American record producer Quincy Jones, and her mother is white actress Peggy Lipton.
Reporter Compliments Rashida Jones On Her Tan "I'm Ethnic" She Responds

Next up, the Parks & Recreation star will appear in the TBS comedy Angie Tribeca.

 

 

Yes Please By Amy Poehler Book Review

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Yes Please Amy Poehler Book ReviewYes Please is Amy Poehler‘s first book, and what a corker it is. I loved this book. I mean, really loved it. Yes, I know this review is starting to look like a gushing fan letter and not a proper review but a woman like Amy Poehler can do that to you. I loved her on Saturday Night Live and Parks And Recreations. The book starts off with Poehler talking about how hard writing a book is:

“Everyone lies about writing. They lie about how easy it is or how hard it was…No one tells the truth about writing a book…the truth is, writing a book is this: hard and boring and occasionally great but usually not. Even I have lied about writing. I have told people that writing this book has been like brushing away dirt from a fossil. What a load of shit. It has been like hacking away at a freezer with a screwdriver.” 

She goes on to talk about how she wrote the book on set, when her children were sleep, at airports and even on the notes section on her iPhone. It is a corking start and everyone who has ever written a book will relate to it. Poehler goes on to talk about improvisation, sexism, marriage, divorce, pregnancy and motherhood. She is a hard-working, talented woman who has gone for what she wants and knows that she is worth it. Amy Poehler leaned in. Amy Poehler is the coolest woman in the world. Well, she may have to share her crown with best friend Tina Fey but you get the point.

The book is split into three parts: Say Whatever You Want, Do Whatever You Like and Be Whoever You Are. A lot of the book is advice like ‘treat your career like a bad boyfriend’ but all of the book is well-written and funny. I rushed through the book and nothing else mattered while I was reading it. Hence why I did not go to sleep that night until 4am. This book is a must read for both men and women. There is definitely a reason it is on the Amazon Bestseller List: it rocks.

After reading this book I felt inspired, happy and thoroughly entertained. This is the non-fiction book of the year. I love, love, love it. I am pretty sure you will to. You can buy it here.

 

 

Le Fear II: Le Sequel Review By Jason Croot

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After reading BFI advice on writing a review of your own film I thought why not!

Le Fear II- Le Sequel Review By Jason Croot

Le Fear II: Le Sequel is a 90 minute 100% improvised feature film about the making of a film. Based in London U.K it follows the journey of hapless 22 times film director Carlos Revalos [Kyri Saphirs] who is about to embark on his biggest movie yet Le Fear II: Le Sequel a film noir horror love story. Carlos’s journey starts with a meeting with the shrewd movie executive Dirk Heinz [Andrew Tiernan] who agrees to back Carlos’s film as long as Revalos puts up some of his own cash as collateral, one other condition is that Carlos intertwines his movie with Nollywood  [Nigeria] the fastest growing film industry in the world. Dirks Secretary Helga [Shona McWilliams]does the paperwork and the deal is done commence the movie.

Le Fear II: Le Sequel Review , Catherine Balavage. actress, Scottish actress, actor, British, actor, Scottish, Jason Croot

The world’s worst director Carlos Revalos meets the world’s worst film producer Efi womonbogo [Seye Adelekan] the clash of the titans or rather the clash of the tits, because these guys each are as clueless as the other about filmmaking. Efi has his entourage, Africa special effects [Roxy Sternberg], Femu [Schee Bell] the runner and Witch Dr Charles [Sean Earl McPherson] none of which really have a clue what to do. Carlos has his film crew Jacques the French cinema photographer, [Hadien Mekki], Jessie [Leila Reid], the production assistant Chafarafa the Script Supervisor [Jay Croot] Berwyn [Catherine Balavage] the stunt coordinator and Queenie [Victoria Hopkins] the Makeup artist. Hollywood meets Nollywood this is where the fun begins, and Conflict time! Everything Carlos wants, romance, film noir and horror is not delivered by Efi who has a different take on it with his motley crew. Africa the vibrant special effects girl, who apparently worked on big movies, Efi Tells Carlos “Avatar and Pride and plagiarist”. Africa brings Carlos nothing but cheap sci-fi effects which she believes is the best thing since sliced bread. That’s the problem with the Nollywood guys they believe their shit is good shit, and Carlos the man who has his own money on the line £500000, is in deep lumber. Bring on the Piece de résistance the actors within the film. We have the fiery French actress Racquel [Denise Moreno] and the green drama school first time film actor Oliver[Jack W. Carter] they cause poor Revalos’s pain to deepen not only is he combating of a motley crew from Nollywood he has disgruntled actors to please now can it get any worse? YES. The film set is not a beautiful purposed built location but a make shift set the input of Efi, “I wanted to make a film noir not a camping film” Jacques tells Carlos. The plot thickens and Carlos calls Dirk to sort out this rabble “Dirks going to have your arse” Carlos tells Efi who replies “My ass is he gay?” Dirk arrives and puts Carlos straight, the movie continues we now bring in two other actors within the movie these hired by Efi Vanessa [Vampire] Eleanor James Dr Strange [Julian Lamoral Roberts] Bmovie actor, Vanessa drives Berwyn the stunt coordinator barmy and proceeds to act more like a L’Oreal shampoo advert than scare people. We also have a student filmmaker Mickey [Warren Taylor] who is filming behind the scenes of the film within the film.

Le Fear II- Le Sequel

The night scenes have to be the most classic and funniest ones we have Witch doctors, Lesbian Vampires, Alien Explosions and a very angry actress “SUSHI DE MERDE Carlos you are a piece of shit little man! I’m going back to Paris right now” Carlos now one actress short of a picnic or rather of making his worst movie, and now without a location when disgruntled land owner Tom Dickinson[Ian Cullen] arrives and kicks them off “my land what are you doing in my land are you filming one of those pornographic films?” Efi replies “I swear on my father’s grave and my mother’s goat”

Le Fear II: Le Sequel will go down in history if Carlos can manage to complete it won’t be the classic he longed for but his worst yet. Bring on a new actress Racquel replacement Lucy Lou [Aiko Horiuchi] a Japanese actress brought in by Efi she joins the madness. “Can we use it?” Carlos asks Jacques about the new location, “Yes but I don’t want my name on that movie” Jacques replies “At this stage fuck your name” Carlos tells him the film gets more crazier and continues to deliver humour right until the end.

Summary Comedy is complex some people laugh at Dad’s Army, Fawlty Towers and Porridge all classic British Comedies others won’t get the humour of those classics! some will love Flight of the conchords and Curb your enthusiasm and others won’t, you can’t make everyone laugh no matter how good the comedy is, Le Fear II: Le Sequel has already made a few people smile and laugh and we hope to continue to do so, I’m not going to say we created the best film within film the world but we have made a film that me and the producers are very proud of we are proud of the cast and how hard they worked to create the humour the crew and how hard they worked to get the camera lighting and sound to be as good as it is the editor who has done a great job and the musicians who have supplied us with a great soundtrack.

 

I will leave you with some other funny lines from the film Le Fear II: Le Sequel

Cast Lines

Carlos Revalos [Kyri Saphiris]

“They Buy a bloody blow up doll, stick some sparklers up its arse, and call it special effects of a high budget production”

Dirk Heinz [Andrew Tiernan]

“You’ve got a fucking film to make, so pull it out of the bag”

Lucy Lou [Aiko Horiuchi]

“My English is very little”

Jacques [Hadrien Mekki]

“You’re just crazy fucking English people who want to drink tea; I just want to make a good film”

Racquel [Denise Moreno]

“If we die what happens? Because I don’t feel I’m going to come out this film alive”

Africa [Roxy Sternberg]

“It’s beyond Hollywood, Nollywood, Woody Allen my gosh we have it”

Dr Strange [Julian Lamoral Roberts]

“If Crossed I get cross if cross I need Blood”

Jessie [Leila Reid]

“Can you teach Carlos to keep the fire inside of him”

Vanessa [Eleanor James]

“I’m a professional actress I have been in god knows how many movies”

Queenie [Victoria Hopkins]

“Do you like it wet? I bet you do I bet you like it real moist Don’t you?”

Berwyn [Catherine Balavage]

“Oh I’m swishing my hair like I’m in a 1970’s fucking porn film”

Witch Dr. Charles [Sean McPherson]

“Ring Nigerian now £5, no problem”

 

Twitter https://twitter.com/Lefear2lesequel @lefear2lesequel

Facebook Like Page https://www.facebook.com/Lesequel

Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/163431550389968/
IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1982759/

 

[Editorial note: Frost Magazine founder and owner Catherine Balavage played Berwyn in Le Fear, Le Sequel]