Tag Archives: confidence

Is Acting Training Worth It?

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acting, acting advice, acting book, how to be a successful actor, actorpreneur, auditions, castings, casting breakdown, how to be an actor,To train or not to train, that is the question. To paraphrase some little known writer, ahem. It is a debate that has raged on. The truth is, there is no easy answer. Frankly, studying at Cambridge will get you noticed but training at some random never-heard-of polytechnic won’t do you much good. In a recent Mark Strong Acting masterclass I went to Mark made the excellent point that it is not the training that is important, but the confidence it gives. Sometime people who don’t train have a chip on their shoulder, Mark said, much like people who don’t go to university think they missed out on something. It is all rubbish and in fact they did not miss anything at all, but the lack of confidence is there.

So, do you need three years worth of training? Especially with the exorbitant fees that universities now charge? The answer is yes, and no. There is still a hierarchy to acting. If you go to a school which is a brand name it will look great on your CV and open some doors. RADA is one, as is Central and LAMDA. Ditto Oxford and Cambridge. The acting industry is just as snobby as the wider world. People love brand names.

Some training is smart. Although I believe that acting is a talent you either have or don’t, but you can improve. Take classes, join improv groups, make your own work. Keeping up your skills as an actor is important but just doing three years of training for the sake of it is not. Many great actors have no formal training. You will also have the added bonus of not having any debt which will take you years to pay off.

In the end the decision is yours. Just don’t think that your acting career is over before it began just because you cannot go to a prestiges school. Not everyone has the money to do so and they only take a small number of applicants every year. Developing your skills is important but this can be done on the job, doing student films, fringe theatre, in drama classes and even in (shh) amateur dramatics. None of this has to go on your CV. Just get out there and work. The acting industry is not the closed shop it used to be. Go to the theatre, watch film and TV. Learn as much as possible. Actors who went to one of the top schools may get a head start but the good news is that the acting game is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

Catherine Balavage has been an actor for over ten years. Her book on acting, How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur, has gotten numerous five star reviews and has been called the ‘best advice available’ by numerous sources.

 

 

Simple Steps To Improve Self-Confidence

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ritaoraFeeling at ease with your body is something many people struggle with. Such feelings can eat away at self-confidence and make it harder to assert yourself in life. Sometimes, other people’s attitudes and messages in the media can make it even more difficult, but there are things you can do to fight back and learn to love yourself.

 

Identify problem attitudes

 

Do you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about your body when you’re dressing, showering or shopping? Try to spot such thoughts developing and stop yourself. You probably wouldn’t make negative comments to a friend in that way, so why do it to yourself? Instead, focus on parts of your body that you like, even if they don’t seem as important. Practice thinking positively about them and remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be appreciated.

 

Share thoughts with friends

 

Social convention means that often we don’t complement each other enough. If you have friends who also need more body confidence arrange to get together and tell each other what you admire about one another’s appearance. Alternatively, you might prefer to do it using anonymous notes if you’re shy. You might be surprised by how much friends like or even envy aspects of the way you look that you never considered previously.

 

Focus on fitness

 

Even if you’re overweight, disabled or getting on in years, there will usually be something you can do to increase your fitness level. Exercise lowers levels of cortisone, the stress hormone and makes the body look better. You can even do exercises for your face to reduce lines and wrinkles; a sort of natural facelift.

 

Dress to flatter your figure

 

Everyone likes to feel sexy and you can find clothing to suit all shapes and sizes online, including fantastic plus sized lingerie deals. Rather than worrying about what doesn’t look good on you, seek out stores that specialize in clothing designed for bodies like yours, whatever shape you are. You don’t have to look like a model, because in reality people are attracted by many different aspects of an individual, such as sense of humor, stylishness and intelligence.

 

Love your style

 

Part of learning to love your body is about understanding how to see it on your own terms, which involves choosing clothes that flatter your shape and selecting colors and patterns that reflect your personality rather than concerning yourself with following fashion. That way you don’t need to worry about being compared to other people and you can instead focus on simply being who you are.

 

Despite the fact that women’s magazines tend to focus on hairstyles and waist measurements, studies show again and again that one of the most attractive assets anyone can have is self-confidence. Once you are comfortable in your own skin and enjoy the way you look it will show in the way you walk, the way you dance, even the way you smile; all things that will make an impression on others. Most importantly, they will make you feel good about yourself.

 

 

Permanent Make Up Artist Karen Betts Interview

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Why are we doing an interview with a permanent make up artist you may ask. Permanent make up isn’t very ‘Frost’ usually, but Karen Betts is different. She gives the gift of confidence to those with illness. Like people who have lost their eyebrows to cancer. Karen has changed the lives of many individuals with medical permanent tattooing. See the photo below as an example. The other two pictures are Karen with Arlene Phillips and Katie Piper.

makeupeyebrows karenbetts katiepiper

When and why did you first become interested in your profession?

I personally ventured into this field in 1996 after a childhood friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was not content with being just a pillar of support and wanted to be able to do more. At the time I ran a hair and beauty salon and a conventional tattooist used to rent one of my rooms, I thought to myself if you could adorn people’s bodies with such complex art why could you not develop a technique that would subtly enhance or replace facial features such as eyebrows. That is when I started my research and discovered a micro pigmentation course in the States.

 

 What, if anything, has given you a competitive edge in this field?

 

My desire to always learn more, continuously develop my skills and share this knowledge with all who carry the Nouveau Contour name. I am not precious and love showing my students techniques I have developed that improve the quality of a treatment plus I am lucky to have a fabulous relationship with the manufacturer of the Nouveau Contour equipment and pigments and year on year we work together to develop and improve our products, we now have over 82 fundamental pigment colours to choose from, the largest range in the industry.

 

Describe your typical working day.

 

I am up very early most days and I do a few hours work on the computer managing my 8 brands before catching the train to one of my 3 training academies in Yorkshire, London or Milton Keynes. I absolutely hate to waste any time so once on the train the laptop is back out and I work solid until I reach my destination. I then either prepare for a training class or a full days clinic where I perform on average 10 permanent cosmetic procedures a day. Then you have guessed it, back on the laptop working on promotional plans, critical paths, training manuals, special offers, and budgets… I could go on and on but in essence I work constant all day every day until either my partner or very patient assistant shouts at me to eat something or go to bed. If there was 8 days in a week I would work them all.

 

 What do you enjoy most about your job?

 

The feel good factor you get when you watch someone’s face light up after his or her treatment is just amazing!

 

 What’s been your biggest professional achievement to date?

 

Whilst a lot of my clients are memorable in their own rights 2 clients over the last few years have really pulled at my heartstrings and tested my capabilities. The first is a lady named Julie who was born with a cleft lip. Julie’s cleft lip has affected her confidence for as long as she can remember, aware that the shape of her lip had held her back and prevented her from making the most of her life I wanted to give Julie the perfect lip shape she had always dreamed of. To restore a cleft lip using permanent cosmetics requires a real level of skill that does not come over night but I am happy to state that Julie was overwhelmed with the results and quoted “Karen created the lip shape I had been looking for my whole life”. Her smile and the big hug she gave me at the end of her treatment spoke volumes and I am not ashamed to say, made me cry.

 

The second lady many people will recognise as her recovery from a brutal acid attack in 2008 was documented in the TV series ‘Katie Piper – My Beautiful Face’. I was honoured when I was able to help Katie. Over a twelve month process, I was able to recreate Katie’s lips, brows and eye definition. Over time our personal and professional relationship developed and in 2012 I was announced as the official and exclusive permanent make-up consultant for The Katie Piper Foundation.

What advice would you give to somebody wanting to become a permanent makeup artist?

 

As Permanent Cosmetics is a very precise procedure, the need for the correct training and support is of the utmost importance. I would advise anyone considering a career in this field  to first attend an insight day if the company offers one, this gives the person an opportunity to discover:

What is permanent cosmetics?

Do I have what it takes to be a successful permanent cosmetics artist?

What are the training options?

How long will the training take and how much will it cost?

What equipment do you need to perform treatments?

What treatments can I train in?

What do I need to do to ensure I get return on my investment?

People also need to look for a company that not only listens to what they want from their training experience but whose trainers actively carry out procedures on a daily basis.

Continuous professional development is paramount in this field as techniques and equipment are improving year on year therefore people should look for training providers who offer continued learning with free workshops and shadowing days.

I also recommend that they ask themselves the following questions:

Am I prepared to change someone’s face?

Have I got the determination and drive to make this a success?

 

What skills can people learn at the Nouveau Contour Training School?

 

We offer a developmental training programme designed to turn absolute beginners into elite permanent cosmetics artists. Our foundation courses range from 8 to 31 days long and the student can choose the training option that best suits their lifestyle and financial budget. For a full explaining of our training options visit http://pro.nouveaubeautygroup.com/nouveau-contour/training-options/

 

What are the pros and cons of permanent makeup?

 

In today’s increasingly fast-paced world, it can be hard work looking our best all the time. Juggling a career with home life is tough and our appearance isn’t always a priority. That’s why each year in the UK; thousands of women and men opt for permanent cosmetic enhancements as a timesaving way to look their best with minimum effort.

 

No longer considered a treatment just for the rich and famous, men and women of all backgrounds and social standing are opting for permanent makeup procedures as a way to save time and in many cases boost confidence.

 

Permanent makeup is also ideal for people who take part in sport, have difficulty applying makeup or are allergic to cosmetics. It can also help to camouflage scarring and bring life-changing benefits to alopecia sufferers and to people who have had breast reconstruction work or have experienced hair loss following chemotherapy treatment.

 

The only downside is there is some poorly trained permanent cosmetics artist offering treatments. Research your technician and be very clear about the result you want to achieve. The main risk is choosing a poorly educated technician just because they may be less expensive. Permanent makeup should be considered exactly that – permanent. Whilst designed to fade you should always regard the treatment as irreversible and when deciding on your technician you should always research the company they trained with, the equipment and pigments they use and indeed when they last refreshed their skills. I would also recommend that you ask to view their portfolio and do not be afraid to ask if it is their own work they are presenting to you.

 

Is there any ‘look’ that you’d refuse to do? For example a very unnatural/dramatic look?

 

With permanent make up it is not about following fashion trends but subtly enhancing or replacing someone’s natural features, obviously I can improve area’s, for example, as we mature we loose volume in our lips and I can use clever shading technique to create the illusion of a softer, plump more youthful mouth, but on the whole I do not look to other people to create permanent make up looks as it is more important to understand the individual personality, lifestyle and look of the person I am treating.

 

 As well as Katie Piper, have you had any celebrity clients?

 

Over the last 16 years I have been able to use my skills to help thousands of ladies both for cosmetic and medical purposes and I pride myself on treating every client exactly the same no matter who they are or what their profession.

 

I am discreet and professional and many high profile clients come to be because of that therefore I can not disclose all my celebrity clients. However on my website with their permission you will see that I have treated Amy Child’s and her manager Claire Powell, Coronation Street actresses Sally Dynevor and Cath Tyldesley, Sugababes Jade Ewan, Olympian Jade Johnson, choreographer, TV presenter and judge of Strictly Come Dancing Arlene Phillips, Spanish model Elen Rivas, TV presenter Lizzie Cundy, TV presenter and model Sue Moxley.

 

Do a lot of celebrities have permanent makeup nowadays?

 

Yes they do and in turn these celebrities speaking out about the benefits of permanent make-up has resulted in many new clients coming to see me for a consultation/treatment for both cosmetic and medical treatments.

 

 What’s the most fulfilling thing about your job i.e. Helping survivors restore confidence

 

I feel privilege everyday that I have a skill that can help rebuild so many people’s confidence and nothing I have achieved beats the look on a clients face when I have restored a feature that they have lost through illness or an accident.

 

What’s your motto, or the key premise / message of your business?

 

My motto is always smile, laugh and try to remain positive even when things are going really bad. Life really is too short to be bogged down with negativity.

 

The key message of my business is education, education is a powerful tool and I have built my training schools on the premise that at Nouveau Beauty Group we offer long term careers not just course, we want all our students to be the best they can be and actively promote continued professional development. I have been in the beauty business for over 20 years and still do not claim to know everything, I love surrounding myself with people from other industries that I can learn from and often I implement their advise into my business model.

 

What are the advantages of permanent makeup over regular makeup?

 

The benefits of permanent makeup over conventional makeup are immeasurable, one example is in the summer when the temperature increases and makeup can sweat off or indeed wash off if you are on holiday and fancy a dip in the pool. With subtly applied permanent cosmetics designed to mimic the most natural makeup look, ladies no longer have to worry about pencilling their eyebrows back in or their eyeliner smudging.

 

I also recommend everyone to watch the video testimonials on my website as these are real women sharing their personal experience of why they opted for permanent makeup and defy anyone to not understand the advantages of permanent makeup over conventional makeup for those living with an altered facial appearance as a result of an accident or illness.

http://www.karenbetts.co.uk/

When Celebrities Get Too Sensitive: Did Mindy Kaling & Michael Fassbender Overreact?

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I recently read an interview with Mindy Kaling in Parade magazine. It was then made into a meme in Upworthy, which I then saw on Facebook (got that?) Well, let me get back to the point. I think Mindy Kaling is amazing. She has achieved so much and is funny and talented. Not for an Asian woman, nor one who is not supermodel thin, just as a woman.

mindy-kaling-quote-confidence-beauty-redefined

This is what she said, ‘“I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’” she says. “I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’”

I think Kaling is being super sensitive here. I am white, I am (relatively) skinny, a UK size 8/10 and you know what? People ask me where I get my confidence all the time. Because that is the thing about confidence, when people have the courage to go for their dreams and work hard, everyone else wants to know how to do it too. I get asked where I get my confidence in interviews, at parties, by friends and family, and as a writer, I also ask other people where they get their confidence, not because they are an ethnic minority or different in any way, but because it is a question people want to know the answer to. Hell, I always want to know the answer because even though I come across as confident, I have my off days.

So Mindy, I love you, I really do. You are gorgeous, funny, witty and super successful, but sometimes a question is just a question or like Freud said: A spade is just a spade.

Now for Michael Fassbender. Fassbender has been complaining about people talking about his penis. Apparently this would never happen to a woman. Really Michael? Are you kidding? People have been talking about Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct vagina for decades. ‘It wouldn’t be acceptable it would be seen as sexual harassment, people saying [to an actress], “Your vagina …” You know?’ he complained.

I don’t know if you have seen Shame but I have. If you don’t want people to discuss your penis maybe don’t get it out in such graphic detail. And as for this not happening to woman; it happens to woman all the time. Screenshots are taken and put on porn sites, Seth MacFarlane’s ‘Boob Song’ happens at the Oscars (which didn’t upset me even if it upset many others, you can’t do nudity in a film and then get offended when people mention it) and in films such as Knocked Up, nudity by women is talked about openly. Even the Daily Mail and celebrity magazines take screenshots from both sexes and publicise it out of context. Which is why nudity in a film is never just of that film, it is now you, naked, all over the internet and media for the rest of time. It is not fortunate, or even moral, it just is.

 

Bare-faced confidence comes with age, new statistics reveal

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Models in Hair and MakeupForget mascara, lippie and foundation: 46-plus women are anything but concealers

Half of women let their partners see them with no makeup all the time, research by Fragrance Direct has revealed, and women aged 46-plus are most likely to let a partner see them without cosmetics after spending just one day together.

The bare-faced approach is by far the most popular. Across all the combined age groups, 50 per cent of women go makeup-free around their partners all the time. This surpasses the small number who answered that they never let their partner see them makeup-free (two per cent) and those who answered ‘only when I’m ill’ (two per cent). Slightly more said they only bare all straight after a shower (four per cent), or just before bed (seven per cent), and more women still (35 per cent) said their partner sees them without makeup ‘around the house’. However, the clear favourite indicates that regularly going makeup-free is the preferred choice during a relationship.

The poll found that it is most common to reveal a makeup-free face to a partner within the first month (with 46 per cent of respondents waiting this long). However, women aged over 46 are the quickest to go without cosmetics in front of their partner, with the highest proportion of women who said their partners see them product-free the next day after starting a relationship being in the 46-plus age bracket.

Anne, 41 year-old personal trainer and weight management coach discusses the possible reasons for the apparent increase in confidence that allows more women aged 46-plus to go makeup-free: “I feel that as you get older, people see you in a different light, or are looking for different things – it’s as though they are looking for the ‘real’ you.”

Anne goes on to talk about the role of makeup within a relationship: “There are probably less games to play as you get older, so not wearing makeup at all isn’t really a big deal. When you are younger you have the feeling that you need to continuously impress.”

 

Slamming that Summer Job Interview

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Whether you are earning spare cash in the local supermarket this summer or applying for a once-in-a-lifetime overseas temporary job, you’ll need to know some crucial techniques for smashing that summer job interview.

First impressions count

It may be your first time in an interview but don’t let this rattle you. Wearing the right clothes will boost your confidence and tell your future employer a bit about you. Remember to match your clothes to the job.

So for girls who are going to be spending summer supervising children in an American camp denim skirts are fun yet smart. If you’re a guy hoping for a temporary office job, a suit, shirt and tie tick all the right boxes.

Be open and friendly

In the 21st century, no employer is going to object to a summer temp being open and friendly, which is his is by far the best approach to take. They know a young person won’t have years of professional experience behind them so won’t be expecting a seasoned pro. Instead, the most they are hoping for is a happy and outgoing young person who’ll be a positive and enthusiastic addition to their workforce for the short amount of time they’ll be around.

Let your personality loose

The interviewer will likely have lots of people to see both before and after you. You’ll want them to remember you, so try to stand out from the crowd by letting them know who you are.

This doesn’t mean going over-the-top and being informal to the point of inappropriate. Instead stay relaxed, let them talk and lean forward to show engagement with what they are saying. When it’s your turn to speak be bright and positive.

Facts not fiction

Be careful not to oversell yourself, or feel the need to resort to outright lying. You may be so keen to make the right impression that you talk yourself into a corner you can’t get out of. Instead, when you’re asked questions about your experience, concentrate on what you have done and confidently talk about it.

Once you’re into the flow remember to keep what you are saying relevant and exciting. If you’re enthusiastic about what you’ve achieved, the employer will believe you can do an equally great job for them.

Seal the deal

Now you’ve made a great impression and made it clear to your future boss that you can do the job, it’s time to leave them with the right memory: stand-up, make eye-contact and shake hands firmly in a business-like way. Say goodbye as if you’ll be seeing them soon, while remaining upbeat and confident.

When it comes to an interview, the parting impression you leave can be just as important as the first one.

 

Stand Out In An Interview

During your job interview, you will probably get asked: “What makes you different?” Take this opportunity to highlight the skills that would make you stand out from the dozens of applicants also trying out for the job. Keep your composure and talk about your strengths to impress your interviewer

 

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Confidence Coach Vivienne Goldstein Tells All

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Tell us exactly what you do?

With a background of NLP as a Master Practitioner and qualified as a Personal Performance Coach, I support my clients to deal with a range of personal challenges. I specialise in improving the communication and impact my clients make in their work and home life.

My role is that of a thinking partner. I give a balance of support and challenge. I provide a safe and confidential environment without any outside distractions where my clients can concentrate on themselves without any interruptions. It’s important to be allowed time to think, time to reflect. By speaking out loud, it enables your thoughts to come into your consciousness and you lower some of the filters that have been stopping you seeing the options and opportunities that are there for you. You get your “juices flowing” so that one thought can easily lead to another … or not … and then we can find out what’s stopping the flow.

In the recent Olympics, all the Veteran Medal winners and the Coaches were saying how very important the mindset of an athlete is to their success. It’s the same for you and me in our everyday lives. We need to find out what motivates us, what our best qualities and skills are, understand how to hone them and how to get the negative thoughts under control and pushed to the side so that we can be our best.

To do my job well, I have to be completely in the moment. I listen carefully not only to the words that my clients speak but also the way in which they say them, the tone of voice, the intonation and their body language eg lots of fidgeting, screwing up their face, rolling their eyes, sitting very still, not showing emotion.

Everyone is an individual so my success lies in how quickly I can establish rapport and get my clients to feel comfortable to open up and dig deep into themselves.

The most difficult thing for me is when someone comes to me knowing they have a block and yet they keep hanging on to a belief that means this block is impenetrable. … they won’t let go of it to see what could happen if they did let go.

It takes time for new ideas to settle into the consciousness. Some people take longer than others. And it’s down to the individual themselves. I’m the catalyst. Ultimately, it’s their responsibility.

How did you get into coaching?

I was brought up in Brazil as a child and returned to London to finish my education.
I have many years’ experience in retail, photography, recruitment, teaching and charity work. And then someone suggested I’d make a great Coach. I’d never even heard of such a thing! I studied a lot and I love it! I combine my professional coaching expertise with life experience.

What kind of people do you coach?

My clients are mostly professionals who come to see me privately on a one-to-one basis. I sometimes run workshops which give a group of people a foundation in becoming more self-aware of the impact they make on those around them.

The typical client is the one who knows they have an issue they want to address. They’ve been thinking about it for a while and not getting any clearer on how to improve things. They then realise that working with me will get them to a better place quicker.

One lady came to me because her boss is a bully and she was struggling to cope with various situations at work.

A man came because he was anxious about his wedding day speech.

One lady was up for Partner in a very large law firm. She had to be interviewed by all 150 Partners. After 30 interviews she was given the feedback that she lacked gravitas. She came to me to understand how to change the message she was sending out.

Some people are struggling to come to terms with their situation which they know they can’t change but want to see it in a different light.

A mother came to see me because she wasn’t getting on very well with her teenage son.

Successful women in business who take maternity leave and on returning to work, they feel a sudden loss of confidence. It’s a whole different world once you’re a parent as well as a business person.

Are people born confident?

Of course. We are all born perfect. It’s what we experience that shapes our lives and the choices we make.

How do you fix a lack of confidence?

Firstly, you have to recognise when you are feeling a lack of confidence. Then work your way backwards in your life experiences as to when this feeling first started. Then understand how you are behaving when this feeling starts. Then change your behaviour. It’s starts with faking confidence and eventually you become confident.

Can someone who has no confidence be completely cured?

Nobody is 100% confident 100% of the time. We all experience moments on uncertainty – whatever anyone may tell you otherwise!

Top tips for confidence?

What is happening inside your head is reflected outside by your body language. So an easy tip is to make sure you wear clothes you are comfortable in, fit you well, make you feel good. Good grooming is always helpful.

If you’re unsure of something, do some research, find out as much as you can before doing whatever it is that is causing you to feel unconfident. The more prepared you are for something, the better and more comfortable you will feel going into the situation.

Be aware of your mindset. Don’t walk into a room in a bad mood. The results will not be satisfactory for you. As Abraham Lincoln said:

“Most folk are about as happy as they make up their minds to be”.

Who mostly has a lack of confidence: men or women?

I think that it’s pretty evenly distributed but the situations in which there is a lack of confidence may differ.

How do you relax?

I always feel better after an exercise workout. That gets rid of my toxins both physically and emotionally!

I love the cinema and theatre …. and laughing. Laughing is the best relaxation!

Staying Safe this Christmas and New Year – Top Tips!

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Staying Safe this Christmas and New Year – Top Tips

As a key Youth Leader when it comes to gangs and breaking the cycle of criminal behaviour one of the key things I get asked by people of all ages is ‘How do I avoid becoming a victim?’

It is really tough question isn’t it? I mean, if the headlines are to be believed you are almost twice as likely to become a victim as you were this time last year. Although we are living in tough times Christmas means that people are out and about doing Christmassy things; enjoying themselves, getting merry and having a host of parties and clubs to go to. In the midst of this hustle and bustle some are ever more desperate to steal, rob or take advantage.

I for one know someone who had their card cloned only a few weeks ago and the upheaval it can cause is immense. So these words of advice I am about to offer come not a moment too soon.

  1. Taxi Cabs – this is number one on my list as I am still in awe of how many people don’t know this despite the horror stories and despite the ad campaigns.  If you are going to be drinking pre-arrange how you will be getting back home. Black cabs can be hailed off the street but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should anyone get into an unlicensed taxi/and or minicab off the street. It is illegal for minicabs to tout for business. Minicabs must be pre-booked. Listen if you get into an unlicensed cab then essentially it is just a stranger’s car and there is no telling what will happen so please – don’t do it!
  1. Drinking – do your best to drink less alcohol and drink more water during your night out. A top tip is to have one drink of water for every two glasses of alcohol. Do your best to stick to the same drink, try and not mix your drinks and always make sure you have your drink with you. Yes girls – take it with you if you are going for a pee. If you leave your drinks unattended then DO NOT drink it. This is one of the ways drug rape can happen. A long time ago I was a First Aider in clubs – spiking as it is called (when someone puts drugs in your drink) was a big issue for us back then – my friends who are still in that field have said on good authority that it is still a big issue now.
  1. Drugs – Lets get it straight – taking drugs is illegal. However if you do then do not buy drugs from someone you have just met. Most of the time drug dealers at clubs / bars are selling to the masses and are not selling you what you think you may be buying. They can easily combine it with chemicals that will be very harmful to you and your body, and you could have a very bad reaction to it. I suppose the final point I want to make is that if you do decide to take do the stupidest thing and take drugs then you should never be left on your own until everyone has recovered. There are reactions and delayed reactions and both could potentially be fatal.
  1. Being sensible – This is one of those tips that sound easy on the ear but can be difficult to put into practice. Firstly be sensible in your approach. If you are talking to a stranger for the first time then do not give him personal details about yourself like where you live. Do not make yourself vulnerable. Secondly never leave your valuables such as your purse or phone with them while you run to the loo or leave your bag or valuables on the table or at some distance from you. Your phone should be locked with a pin that only you know and you also should be sensible with your social network – that is, it and your personal details should be set to private. A new trend is for guys to butter up women with soft words etc but there are lots of instances where once the woman has gone they are gone except they have gone with cash, plastic and I-phone tablets.
  1. Confidence is crucial – Being confident and assertive can assist you from staying out of danger. This is reflected in your body language and demeanor. Keep your head up and use eye contact. Becoming drunk and very loud can sometimes draw the wrong people towards you. Essentially most predators know that the less aware and less able a person is, the more easy they are to take advantage of and the more likely they are not to defend themselves properly.
  1. Fight or flight – If a fight breaks out / and or other trouble then remove yourself very quickly from the venue and call the police for help. This is crucially a tip mainly for the guys out there but as it seems to be a paradox akin to finding the ‘god atom’ it is there for everyone. Here’s the problem – good friends, both male and female want to protect the ‘ones they love’ from ‘bad’ people. The problem is that ‘bad’ people can be everyone especially once a fair bit of alcohol has been drunk. You’ll be surprised at the amount of arguments and fisticuffs that can flare up over mere ‘looks’ ‘knocks’ on the dance floor and people being rude. Ask either party to just walk away and you’d have more luck trying to explain the euro crisis. Yet you have your mobile phone in your pocket so rather than choosing to join in on the rugby tackle why not just use it and get help. Trust me; you’ll thank me in the morning.
  1. Cold and hard can only be cash – Try not to carry large sums of money, credit cards and other valuables with you. I am going to say it again but DO NOT leave your bag unattended. Just bring what you need for the night. A top tip is to put some money safely on you away from the money you will be spending on your night out. So if unfortunately if you are a victim of crime and your money / cards are stolen you have some money to get home with.
  1. Keep your eye on the prize – When paying for anything by credit / debit card make sure the machine is brought to you and you see what is being done. If anyone ever takes your card away / and or behind a bar they may be cloning your card. A big tip is to keep all of the receipts from the night, perhaps in your purse and then the following day check back with the money that has been deducted. If you need to you can query with the bank if any amounts seem unjustified.
  1. Mobile phones – Do not talk on your mobile phone when you get off London Transport and think this is going to save you from being attacked, it just makes you more vulnerable as you cannot see and / or hear what’s going on around you. What’s more people can see what mobile phone you have and that could make you a target too.
  1. Keep in touch – Number ten is my greatest gem. Be with at least one person you trust and make contact with them when you get home, so they know you are in safe. If you out and meet members of the opposite sex and are having a good time, why not stay together until you are in a cab (a licensed one obviously) where you can cab share until you part company.
  1. Be aware – please be aware of the people around you. Not being aware has consequences. This is especially true at cash-points but even places like at the bar or till can be crucial for someone looking to glance at your pin or hear the code word for your tab. I have seen many offenders hear ‘Table 12’ shouted across a noisy bar and then casually saunter over and order drinks for themselves and their mates moments later claiming to be from the same table. Equally a friend of mine had her phone stolen when someone came round with a collection box for a ‘charity’ and took her phone from the table whilst she took out some money from her purse. Be aware
  1. Never blame yourself – my final tip is the same as last year. Just remember even Justin Bieber has been a victim of a crime at one point – probably. Some people just do bad things – it’s as simple as that. The main thing is that they are counting on your silence so they can do it again. So talk to someone you can trust and report it. Most importantly though never blame yourself.

So ends my tips on staying safe over Christmas and New Year – I am not aiming to make anyone nervous or afraid as there are bundles of fun to be had lets just keep it safe and sensible. If you have any questions, comments or even tips of your own please post them. Here’s to an exciting and prosperous New Year!