Tag Archives: Dan Jones

Writing About My Experiences With Autism to Help Myself and Others

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Writing About My Experiences With Autism to Help Myself and Others aspergersThis week is the release of my book Look Into My Eyes which is about my experiences as someone who has Asperger’s Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and also my experiences professionally from around 20 years working with those who have autism, their parents/carers, employers and supporting professionals.

I was diagnosed with ASD a couple of years ago. Following my adult diagnosis I felt compelled to try to learn more about myself. Until I sought diagnosis I wasn’t a fan of labels. I understood that they could be helpful, but I was also aware of people being treated as the label and not as a person, and some of these people would end up doing the same to themselves, viewing themselves as a label, not as a person.

What led me to seek diagnosis was that I was facing workplace discrimination which I felt powerless to tackle. It was making me depressed and suicidal. It was only when I reached this point that I decided if I had a diagnosis then I would get occupational health support to improve my situation at work. It took almost a year from visiting the GP to receiving diagnosis. In my work with families I had often encountered parents who had a negative view of the expected future for their autistic child. In many cases I could see strengths in these children that the parents weren’t noticing because they were dealing with the problems everyday like violence or challenging behaviour. They had sought diagnosis because of problems the child was having, so when they were told “your child has autism spectrum disorder, it is a lifelong condition” they often heard “the problems with your child will be there for life.” Many of these parents didn’t know much about autism, and hadn’t focused on the strengths their child had, so part of my role as a family worker was to help parents recognise these positives, and help them to learn how to work with the strengths whilst teaching their children how to handle the challenges.

After getting diagnosed I felt that I was in a unique position to help others. Due to working as a psychological therapist and family worker I had better insight about myself as a starting point than most, and I felt if I wrote down about myself I could look objectively at what I had written as if the writing on the page was a client, giving me an opportunity to gain greater insight and understanding. I thought if I wrote a book like that going through my life from birth to present day I would be able to write something which shows what the world is like from within the mind of someone with autism, as well as saying what I, as someone with autism, find helps me, what doesn’t help me, and what I think would be helpful around the different issues I’ve faced at different stages of life. I would also be able to share tips and strategies from a professional perspective, and my wife kindly wrote a chapter about her experiences being in a relationship with someone with autism.

I found the process of writing the book insightful, giving me greater understanding about myself. I have also had many people say how helpful it has been for them to understand why I am the way I am, and many readers have commented how the book has helped to give them a look inside the mind of their child, helping them to better understand their child, and given hope to them about what their child may be capable of in the future if their skills are channelled and they are helped with the challenges they face.

Daniel jones

About Me

Dan Jones is author of parenting books including Sleepy Bedtime Tales, which includes 11 bedtime stories to be read to children to help them sleep, and additional tips and strategies for helping children sleep, Relaxing Tales for Children, which is 11 stories to be read to children to help them relax. The stories in these books are targeted at 4-7 year olds. Dan is also author of Look Into My Eyes which is an autobiography through the lens of Asperger’s Syndrome, that includes an extensive chapter of tips and strategies for parents/carers, teachers, friends, employers, and those with autism spectrum disorder, and a chapter written by Dan’s wife about being in a relationship with someone with Asperger’s. Dan has almost 20 years’ experience working within child and family support.

Website: www.alt-solutions.org

These links are for the books mentioned and direct people to their local Amazon website:

Sleepy Bedtime Tales: http://apn.to/prod/1517364248

Relaxing Tales for Children: http://www.apn.to/prod/1539976882

Look Into My Eyes: http://apn.to/prod/1542551196

 

 

Helping Children Sleep By Dan Jones

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helping children sleepHelping Children Sleep

Almost 20 years ago I began working in children’s homes. Many of the children had endured years of abuse and other traumatic experiences by the time they ended up in care, this impacted on their ability to feel safe, relax, and sleep at night. Due to having Asperger’s, a high-functioning form of autism I obsessed about learning communication skills. I used this knowledge with the children I was working with. The children were often happy to have stories read to them at bedtime. I used to read stories to them, but rather than putting on different voices for different characters, or reading the stories lively, I used to read them in a relaxed tone of voice in time with the child’s breathing. Any sentences with words which could be associated with relaxing or inward absorption I would say with extra calming emphasis. This slight shift in how the stories were being read often helped the children to feel calm and comfortable and fall asleep. I started teaching what I was doing to other children’s home staff and to parents to help them to be able to help children sleep comfortably at bedtime without arguments and conflict, and years later wrote two books of children’s stories based around this approach: Sleepy Bedtime Tales, and Relaxing Tales for Children.

How do you help children to fall asleep at night? 

The first thing to be aware of is what actually happens for us to fall asleep. Obviously being tired helps, so not letting a child sleep during the day is a huge help, secondly the environment is important. As bedtime approaches parents can start ‘putting the house to sleep’. What I mean by this is that a few hours before bedtime parents close curtains, turn off main lights and put on small lamps to make the home dimmer, and begin to focus on doing calm, low stimulation things with the children. The focus is on slowing them down, and making the environment quieter. If children are running around until bedtime their heart will be racing and they will be excitable and harder to relax, likewise, if they have been watching emotionally stimulating TV programmes before bed this will reduce their chances of falling asleep. Parents ideally limit screen time in the hours before bed. Mobile phones, tablet PC’s, computers, and TV’s all give off a lot of blue light which triggers the ‘wake-up’ processes in our brain – not what you want when you are trying to help your children sleep.

dan jones, author, book, help children sleep, how to get child to sleep

Once bedtime is approaching parents can have structure around what happens, and let the children know bedtime is approaching. It is more effective to say that it is bedtime in half-an-hour, and then giving notice at fifteen minutes, and then finally saying it is now bedtime, than it is to wait until bedtime and then tell the children it is time to go to bed when perhaps they are in the middle of a game or something and now they have to cut the game short.

Author Dan Jones

Different children like different things at bedtime to help them sleep. Some are happy to be read a story. Although it is fun to read stories and get all involved in portraying the characters, putting on voices, and actions, this isn’t conducive for sleep. The stories need to be read in a calm and relaxed manner ideally framed for the child that they can lie down with their eyes closed, listening and imagining the story as they fall asleep. Most children accept this and enjoy imagining the story play out in their mind. The parent can then read slowly and calmly, adding emphasis and time when giving descriptions to help the child become increasingly absorbed in the inner experience. Another approach children like is for the parent to sit with them stroking their arm, back or hair. If this is done in time with their breathing, so each up-stroke is with an in-breath, and each down-stroke is with the out-breath then the stroking will build rapport with the breathing, and once the breathing is matching the stroking the parent can stroke slower or longer strokes and the breathing will deepen and the child will fall asleep. If the child wakes up during the night they can be encouraged back to bed, then the parent can calmly repeat the same again until the child falls asleep once more.