Darren Errol Clarke Obituary

Frost Magazine was in shock when our writer and friend Darren Errol Clarke died on Friday, 15 August. Darren was only 45 and always very fit and healthy. Unfortunately, Darren had a stroke and later died of complications. 

Darren Errol Clarke

Darren was one of the most wonderful people you could ever meet. Charismatic, smart, gentle, kind: he was all the best of humanity in one big loveable giant of a man. His death has been widely felt not just at Frost, but also in the acting community, the RAF where  he was an aircraft engineering technician and in the Judo community. An outpouring of grief was all over social media after he died and many are still in shock. Darren was an outstanding individual. His intelligence was on another level and he was an actor who had been in many popular TV shows and films. I asked some of his friends to send their memories along. Here they are:

 

Nina Meecham:

I met Darren about 12 years ago, he was amazing, truthful and the best guy a woman could ask for. As time flew past our relationship, though long distance. moved away but having him as a best friend was amazing. Our love for each other was strong and he always talked me out of the blue days. I still can’t get my head around not hearing your voice seeing your smile, never talking to you again. I found a white feather on my floor today out of nowhere could this have came from… so i believe it was from you… showing me your ok and you’re still around me … thank you for loving me . I will miss you always x

 
Darren Errol Clarke

Colin David Reese: 

I first met Darren at an evening organised by our common agent – Miles whom I have known for many years. As I don’t live in the UK and had come over partly for this social evening, I knew nobody else in the room. Feeling a bit shy and awkward as everybody knew everybody else, I was somewhat left out. Darren came over to me and introduced himself. Nobody else had. We had, in fact, exchanged a couple of banters on FB and so there was a previous contact. Darren then took me round the room and introduced me to many people – which Miles was rather too occupied to be able to do. Our friendship was born at that moment as he broke the ice for me. Since then we became constant friends on FB and nearly every time I was in London we would meet over a pint …

 

These lovely memories came from Amanda Caffry-Hughes:

 

Darren was just 19 years old, serving in the RAF (at Locking, Weston Super Mare), when we first met at a nightclub. He was that confident, cool, well dressed guy who was breaking some moves on the dance floor: Grabbing the limelight – as his presence always did!

 

Just a short time spent in his company, I soon discovered what an amazing individual he was.  We hit it off immediately and within weeks became very close. Smart, good hearted, a gentle man, Daz was always compassionate, kind and considerate to others. My parents adored him! We didn’t always share the same opinion or see eye to eye – Daz could be stubborn at times, but was always very forgiving of my indifference and ignorance (!)

 

With time we went our separate ways but we never lost touch and stayed in regular contact, communicating most weeks. Throughout the last 26 years, we’ve shared personal tragedies – as well as our successes.  Always there for me, Darren was the most generous, loyal, trustworthy, honourable friend whom I miss today and will miss forever.  Losing one of my best friends is pain beyond belief but I know I was blessed to have known Darren’s love and friendship.

 

I’ve cried a thousand tears over the last few weeks…I know I’ll cry thousands more over Darren in the future: But today I’ve cried tears of laughter as I reminisce about the times we spent together. Always special times, we had so much fun: So many laughs – like the time Daz persuaded me to buy a state of the art car stereo system with the promise that he’d install it.. “Trust me Mand? I’m an aircraft technician: I work on Harrier Jump Jets all the time” he said, “It will …be a doddle and the sound will be quality!” Well he was right on that one. Driving to our chosen nightclub that night we certainly had fine tunes booming out at a million decibels BUT what Daz had failed to check was when the stereo was turned ON, the headlights turned to high beam AND the hazard lights flashed constantly! We had our very own mobile disco down the M5! How we made the entire journey from Chard to Exeter (and back) without being pulled over by the cops is beyond me! Well Darren returned to RAF Bruggen without fixing the fault (!) and I spent the following month driving at night in silence. Maybe that was his intention because my thoughts always turned to him… as they do now. Bless you Darling. Xxxx

 

That beautiful smile is etched on my memory forever. (Along with the sulky expression with the puppy dog eyes and bottom lip: Melted my heart and made me smile and laugh every time!) Gonna miss my dear friend but weren’t we the lucky ones to have known such a beautiful soul. Forever in my heart. R.I.P darling Daz.

 

I can see Darren now….Sunday morning in front of the hall mirror, plucking white cat fur from his afro!  My fluffy persian “Gizmo” so loved to sleep on Darren’s pillow! I remember one evening at our favourite night club – the strobe and ultraviolet lights lit up the white fur around Darren’s head like an angel’s halo. I did laugh.  Daz didn’t.  He didn’t call my cat by his name “Gizmo” ever again!

 

Darren Errol Clarke 29 April 1969 – 15 August 2014. Rest in Peace.

 

Darren’s articles on Frost are below.

 

Zen Sai review

Dr David R Hamilton… Self Love at BAFTA

Female Superheroes… Why has Hollywood gotten it wrong?

Online gambling, its rise and fall.

Diabetes… It’s Not Too Late To Take Control

MH 370… A Conspiracy?

Patricia Byrne Dies Aged 80

Stephanie Kwolek: A Biography

Matsuri dining experience.

Racism… What exactly is it?

Ageing isn’t just skin deep – Muscular Ageing

In love With Death in a “Secret Garden”

Frost meets Paddy Power and Professor Hawking: How England can win the world cup

The Moratorium: Homeless Veterans

Back Pain: How Low Can You Go?

Fire In Babylon: Facing Devon Malcolm

 

 

 

What Price Feminism?

Is feminism a dirty word? You would think so by how some people respond to the word.

Feminism is not an easy subject to write about. It has so many connotations. So many people have an opinion on it. It brings up images of women burning bras and hating men. Losing the entire point of it: equality.

What I started writing this article I put out a twitter and Facebook plea for comments about feminism. Tamsin Omond came up with a fabulous quote from J.Winterstone on lesbians: ‘they have a confidence about them that doesn’t depend on the male view. that is sexy and it is new.’

Then came the obvious,

Forbes KB: ‘Right after you finished the washing up and the ironing I hope!’ Luckily, I know he is joking.

Darren Errol Clarke did much better: ‘I dislike the word “Feminism”! It conjures up so many wrong images. Everything should be about sharing and equality, but the name doesn’t depict that!

A warrior from the Amazon once said that she was shocked that Western women were so …weak and that they were referred to as “Flowers”! She was upset that she couldn’t “See” the flowers that they were talking about. She said, “Flowers are strong, adapting, versatile and beyond the visual. A flower can be destroyed, yet come back as beautiful as before and more than before. The humans I see before more me represent nothing more than a shadow of their true potential.”

Whilst man has a lot to answer for in history, women have come through and stamped their individuality through out. I think that when women were striving to be better than the men that suppressed them they were irrepressible, but now they have joined in the drunken madness that is today’s civilization. I hope that the mantle isn’t totally buried, as it would be nice to see more women bring true equality to the world and not the fallacy that is the modern world.’ Good points there.

Lynn Burgess: ‘It’s not about pushing a female agenda. It’s about equality.’

Caroline Gold: ‘Look to the working class women and you will see there is still disparity and it’s about more than legislature. We are not a minority. Feminism is just humanism for all. Go girl!

One of the best came from film director Richard Wright: ‘Ultimately its not about pushing a female agenda or pushing a male agenda its about pushing an agenda of tolerance and understanding no matter who it is. It’s about equality across the board not the positive discrimination of one over another, that doesn’t work because it’s still discrimination. The argument should be about how we, together as a society, create a better tomorrow and where we all fit in no matter who we are.’

Amen to that.

The London Underground is never a nice place at rush hour. A few million Londoners trying to get home means stress is high and manners non- existent. Spending a 20 minute journey with your face in some strangers armpit is common. This did not prepare me for being shoved out of the way by a man so he could sit in the last seat however. That’s right: actually pushed out out the way. Not only are manners dead, but so is chivalry.

This got me thinking about equality. I always offer to pay on dates. While discussing this with a male friend he mentioned that he thought women should always pay for themselves, after all, wasn’t that what feminism was all about? What we were fighting for all these years? Well, no. It’s not. We seem to have got the worst of both worlds. No chivalry and no equality either.

I recently read an article by James Delingpole in which he claimed, because times are tough, that only boys should be sent to public school, because his daughter could just marry a rich man. Which was more funny than offensive until I read Mary Dudley’s response that she would be sending her daughter to public school instead…so she could marry a rich man. Apparently Kate Middleton wouldn’t have had a look in if she had not been to Marlborough. Doors to manual indeed. What century is this? How Jane Austen.

We were fighting for equal pay: which we haven’t got. To have any career we want without hitting a glass ceiling. To not be though of as the weaker sex. Not better than men, just equal. With different strengths. This is all low rumbling compared to some countries. Although there is a female Prime Minister in Australia and female president in Finland, in Britain we have 126 female MPs, out of 646 members of British Parliament. Where have all the women gone?

Then there is the other thing that is holding us back: other women. I have lost count of how many times I have had another actress try and sabotage me or overheard a women bitching about me. On a set recently an older actress came up to me and said; ‘You will be just like me one day. You will lose your beauty, you will have nothing left. It all goes.’

Can we really reach our true potential if we are wasting energy stabbing each other in the back? I have an amazing group of female friends now, but it took years to find them.

Then comes all of the depressing statistics. 1 in 4 women have experienced rape or attempted rape, 95% of cases are never reported, 23% of reported cases are ‘no crimed, ‘ or thrown out, by the police. Over 66% of reported cases never make it to court and the conviction rate is a depressing 6.5% for reported cases. It seems rape is the easiest crime to get away with.

In Afghanistan the female soldiers were more afraid of their colleagues than the front line. 30 percent of female US soldiers have been raped, 71% sexually assaulted and 90% sexually harassed. Four out of five cases go unreported. Helen Benedict, author of ‘The Lonely Soldier: The Private War of women serving in Iraq’, believe rapes occur not because the soldiers are sex starved, but because they enjoy humiliating female colleagues. ‘A lot of men think women shouldn’t be in the military and feel threatened. I think a lot of sexual predators sign up because of the power they’ll wield.’ Helen goes on to say that, ‘There is a culture of sexism on the military and women are seen as sex objects.’

Then there is gendercide. 100 Million girls have disappeared. In China and Northern India 120 being born for every 100 girls. Most girls are aborted. In Iraq they stone women to death and have to be covered from head to toe. They cannot even leave the house without their male relatives. Even if they are younger than them.

So am I a feminist? I don’t care about what people think of the word, or of me for using it, as long as women are stoned to death, sold into slavery or aborted just because of their gender, the answer is yes. My name is Catherine Balavage and I am a feminist.

Facts and Figures.

3 Million women and girls are slaves in the sex trade.

An estimates 18,000 women (some as young as 14) are working as sex slaves in the UK.

Women aged 15-44 are more likely to be killed by men than cancer, malaria, car crashes and war combined.

130 million women worldwide have had their genitals mutilated.

In the past 50 years, more women have been killed because of their gender than all the men in all the wars of the 20th century.

And a beautiful quote.

Mao Zedong said “women hold up half the sky.” So don’t let it come crashing down.

http://www.unwomen.org/