Tag Archives: dating

How Dating has Changed Since The 1950s

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HOW HAS DATING CHANGED SINCE PRINCESS ELIZABETH FIRST “STEPPED OUT” WITH HER DASHING PHILIP?

Relationship site eHarmony tells Frost Magazine about the similarities and differences between dating in the 1950s and the 2010s

 

In less than a week’s time Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip will stand side by side as the nation celebrates her sixty year reign. But how did the young Princess know when she first met her dashing Duke that he was to be her life partner? Were the customs of courtship in the 1940s and 1950s more successful in bringing lifelong couples together? To celebrate this Diamond Jubilee, relationship site eHarmony reviews how young couples met and dated sixty years ago and compares the advice given then, to our contemporary words of wisdom. And which makes more sense? You decide.

 

Dating in the 1950s

Dating in the 2010s
Men did the asking

It was always the man who proposed a date. It was not polite or acceptable for women to suggest an evening out together. With no answer machines or text messages in existence women would have to wait for a knock at the door or a telephone call. Men frequently ask

Whilst it’s still traditional for a man to ask, today women can and often do ask men on dates. For online daters many first dates are organised through email, text and by phone, this allows us all to have a bit more courage to ask .A date was a date

In the 40s and 50s, there was no confusion about what a date meant to either party. It was rare for men and women to be just friends. So if a man called a woman and asked her to dinner, he certainly had romance on his mind. Is this a date?

Men and women are now often friends, and can stay friends without any romantic involvement, even once a relationship comes to an end.  So inviting someone to a pub or restaurant or accepting such invitation is no longer a certain hint at romantic intentions. Timing was everything

Notice was absolutely necessary for a date in polite society. At least two or three days’ notice was required for a lady’s diary and times to collect and return your young lady were critical. Competing for time

Modern daters are busy with their lives, and if they’re not around when the phone rings, it is acceptable to call back when convenient or to arrange a second date through a text or email. Respond immediately to your date invitation

If a lady was lucky enough to be asked out, it was her duty to respond immediately and of course with absolute politeness. Appearing too keen

Modern day dating seems to be more like a power battle. If a man asks, a woman cannot appear too keen. And yet, respond late and she risks appearing disinterested, particularly if the dater is communicating with other online matches. Always be on time

There’s no such thing as fashionably late; ladies must be ready when their date arrived. Always be on time

Today it is still considered rude to keep your date waiting for any longer than 5 minutes. Particularly if you are meeting in a public place (see below). Collecting your date

When date night arrived, the man would always organise the transportation. He would come to the door to greet his date before taking her to their venue and he always brought her safely home to her family. Meeting in public is a good idea

Unlike the traditional custom of collecting and being collected, today it is more common to make your own way to the first date and is sensible to meet in a public place. This takes away any fear and ensures safety until you get to know your date a little more. Introducing your date to your parents on a first date

When a man collected his young lady, it was customary for her to introduce him to her parents who would want to approve that he was suitable for their daughter. Introducing your date to family and friends means it’s serious

For many modern day daters, busy with work, life and possibly kids, introducing a partner to parents or family is more likely to happen once the dating phase is close or into the ‘relationship’ phase. Men always ordered

When dining out, the young lady should always tell her male friend what she would like before he orders for her.I know what I want

Today, it is unheard of to expect your date to order for you. Women know what they want and will ask for it.Men always paid

When the bill arrived, the man would always pay. It was unthinkable for a woman to offer any money.The payment dilemma

Many men still feel that they should pick up the bill, but paying is a tricky issue. Sometimes women are insulted at the implication they can’t take care of themselves. For some men, traditional notions are outdated. It is polite to always offer to “Go Dutch” but to accept if the other party then insists that he or she should pay.

 

 

Jenni Trent Hughes, Relationship Expert for eHarmony believes the dating process holds a mirror to the society of the time. She says: “In the 40s and 50s, the family unit was strong and often men and women in their twenties were still living at home with their families. Communities were close and approval was of paramount importance. Politeness and reference was a critical part of the dating process. Today our society is more fractured. We move away from home for work or college and both men and women are juggling busy lives and demands on their time. We meet more as equals and must make our own decisions. It’s fast paced and exciting but not without its etiquette protocols entirely.”

 

For more information on how to make the most of the dating experience, check out eHarmony’s Dating Advice site at: http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/dating

 

How to Have a Successful Date

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What Makes A Successful Date?

eHarmony.co.uk reveals the Great Date Indicators (GDI) that switch us “on” and “off” to a potential mate

Based on communication habits of thousands of British singles, relationship site eHarmony releases six key indicators that can increase your dating potential.

Laughing at certain jokes, having a passion for vegetarian food or playing the guitar may sound harmless enough but according to analysis of millions of connections on relationship site eHarmony®, certain hobbies and habits definitely affect a single’s potential with the opposite sex.

Whilst studying how compatible singles connect and communicate on eHarmony.co.uk, computational scientists have found a series of indicators that impact attraction and connection online. Although two people can be incredibly compatible, the Great Date Indicators (GDI), as eHarmony scientists call them, provide an additional layer to determine whether two people will click when they meet in person. They reveal that:


1. We don’t like people with the same sense of humour

Far from seeking out someone with the same sense of humour as ourselves, the GDI show that online, we will often choose to connect with people who have a very different sense of humour to our own. For example, men with dark or political humour are often attracted to women with slapstick, wisecracking humour.

2. Traditional gender types have a big part to play in our attraction to a partner

Even though we live in an open and liberated society, men and women who conform to gender stereotypes receive more interest online. For example, fewer women communicate with men who enjoy feminine pursuits (like shopping) whilst fewer men communicate with women who seem to be in a position of authority. Also, men care less about the income potential of a woman only if she earns less than they do.

3. Spending habits influence the dating potential for women online

How much a woman spends or saves may impact her dating potential online. Women who spend freely view many profiles but do not communicate often. eHarmony scientists term this the “window shopping effect”. More men will talk to a woman who saves, whilst fewer men will talk to a woman who says she spends freely. The exception is that men who spend freely will talk to women who spend freely – surely a recipe for an empty joint bank account.

4. The universal appeal of yoga

Stretching and bending is THE most popular form of exercise in terms of appeal to the opposite sex whether you’re a man or a woman. Regardless of gender, men and women who mention yoga in their profiles receive significantly more communication than those who don’t.


5. We all want active partners – even if we’re a couch potato

Most people search out and connect with people who have active lifestyles. It is very appealing to the opposite sex. Be warned if you sit in front of the TV. Couch potatoes are universally unappealing, even to other couch potatoes.


6. A varied palate is appealing to the opposite sex

A varied diet and openness to try new foods is appealing to the opposite sex but a McDonalds habit could seriously damage your dating potential. Enjoying fast food is a big turn off to other singles, even if they’re fast food eaters themselves. And being a vegetarian is definitely a big attraction for other vegetarians online.

As part of the patented scientific match making process, eHarmony members complete a relationship questionnaire where they are asked to record their passions, interests, likes and dislikes. Since its launch in the UK, eHarmony has been building a comprehensive picture of the personalities and habits of the two million singles who have completed the questionnaire. Then using Compatibility Matching System® quantitative analysis models, eHarmony’s computational science team search for trends in how members decipher the profiles of matches and connect with them online.

Joseph Essas, Chief Technology Officer at eHarmony says:

Meeting singles you’re going to have chemistry with is what makes dating exciting, and even more importantly, worth investing time and energy in. In any given day there are millions of communications taking place on eHarmony. By analysing all of these interactions we’re able to learn what behaviours and hobbies can make sparks fly between our singles and provide them with matches that are even more tailored for them.

How Much Does Valentine's Really Cost?

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Who says romance is dead?

Standard Life’s ‘Your Commitments, Your Future’ report reveals the nation’s true spending on their other half – a clue to what we might expect this Valentine’s Day.

Spend on your partner:
– Each month couples splash out an average of £34 treating each other, with men leading the way, spending £42 compared to women spending just £26
– However, 18-24 year old males spend only £20 a month on their partners on average.  To put this in perspective, 18-24 year old males spend an average of £27 a month on paid for TV subscriptions
– But there is good news; as men get older their generosity increases, with men aged 45-54 spending nearly £50 (£49) on average each month on their partners
– Women are at their most generous when aged 25-34, where they spend an average of £32 a month on their partners

Thinking about your partner
– Men and women devote nearly an hour each day (50 minutes) to thinking about their other half

– 18-24 year old men are the least romantic, thinking about their partners for only 36 minutes a day on average, whereas 18-24 year females spend over 59 minutes on average every day thinking about their partner (this is more than one whole day a month)
– Men over 55 are spending almost an hour (55 minutes) a day thinking about their partners, the highest of any male age group, while women spend the most time thinking of their partners when they are 18-24
– Nearly a quarter of people think that if they spent as much time thinking about their finances as they do on their emotional relationships then their finances would be in far better shape.

John Lawson, Personal Finance Expert at Standard Life said: “Despite the tough economic climate, it’s good to know we are still able to spoil the most important people in our lives. We devote a lot more to time thinking about our loved ones than we do to our finances, but it’s worth remembering that planning our future finances plays a key role in our relationships.  Whether it’s starting a family, a home in the sun, a romantic break or a financially secure retirement, budgeting and planning ahead is essential to a happy life. And with the end of the tax year looming, it’s a great time to sit down with your partner and think about how your finances can help you enjoy your life together.”  

To help people better understand their financial and emotional commitments, Standard Life has published knowyourcommitments.co.uk with an interactive tool and thoughts on financially preparing for the future. Further help with financial planning is also available at yourfuturemoney.co.uk

 

 

Love and Facebook

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Heartbroken men take four weeks to change their Facebook status following a break-up – while women do so almost straight away, it has emerged.

The majority of fellas (63 per cent) “prolong the misery” of updating their profile from ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘Single’ for a month or more, while some (eight per cent) fail to do so at all.

If and when they do, only a third admits if they were dumped – and even fewer (15 per cent) reveal the reasons why.

Women, on the other hand, tend to ‘go public’ within a few days, often with a new description and photograph to reflect their “happy single” status.

The study by new dating site ALovingSpace.com was based on a survey of 1,000 unmarried 18-65 year-old male and female members across the UK.

It found that male respondents generally coped with splits far worse than women, and were more likely to bottle-up their emotions and “present a tougher front” to pals.

Almost 20 per cent of female respondents, on the other hand, admitted they had or would change their social media profiles immediately – often in order to hurt or humiliate their ex-partners.

A spokesman for ALovingSpace.com said he was “not surprised” about the results, which appear to overturn the widespread assumption that women are more vulnerable after a break-up.

“On the face of it, men are the tough talkers and the ones who present a tougher front but that is just societal conditioning. Behind the façade they hurt just like women, but because they suppress their emotions it ends up hurting even more,” he said.

“Our research appears to suggest that men are hit the hardest by relationship break-ups and, as a result, prolong the misery of telling the world about it on social media platforms such as Facebook.

“Women, on the other hand, seem to see things in a more positive light, viewing a break-up as an opportunity to move on and find someone who they are more compatible with.”

Earlier this year, disagreements about money was named as one of the biggest causes of relationship breakdowns in the UK.

Figures showed that just under 60 per cent of single people blamed money for the split, compared to 21 per cent for infidelity.

Some 17 per cent said they had fallen out of love, and 15 per cent said work had got in the way of their relationship.

A spokesman for AlovingSpace.com – which adapts ancient and modern wisdom, including psychological astrology, to help members find a partner and become more self-aware – said a “significant proportion” of relationships break down because couples enter into “shallow” partnerships based purely on looks and “compatibility”.

He added: “Don’t get me wrong, compatibility is nice because it provides a measure of comfort. It’s a component we consider carefully when matching our members. However, it really has very little to do with self-awareness and good relating. Lots of people are completely compatible on paper but when it comes to being in a partnership it doesn’t actually help them at all.

“There is no question that relationship breakdowns cause an immense amount of heartache for all involved. The purpose of ALovingSpace.com is to minimise this heartache by making it incredibly simple for people to meet a new partner and giving them the tools to help them better understand themselves and each other.”

Dating Detox For 2012.

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As we bid hello to 2012, we look forward with a sense of optimism and hope,. January is the month of choice to cleanse ourselves of any harmful toxins we carried over from the previous year. As we carefully select which diets and detox to choose, eHarmony.co.uk offer a revolutionary detox plan for 2012. Welcome the ‘dating detox’, a fool proof, four step detox plan for even the biggest skeptics to get you right back on track in your dating life.

Cleanse your outlook and get a fresh start for 2012 with four tips from Dr Gian Gonzaga, relationship expert for online match-maker eHarmony.co.uk,

Dr Gonzaga begins with a question: ‘If you were to conduct a self-diagnostic checkup on the condition of your dating life, which of the following would apply?’

a. Strong and robust, with optimal functioning.

b. Generally healthy, though periodically sluggish and listless.

c. Anaemic and frail.

d. Comatose.

“If you answered “C” or “D,” chances are you’ve been single for awhile now and you’re suffering from overexposure to potent dating toxins. There are remedies you can use for yourself when you feel depleted and discouraged in your search for lasting love.”

Here is a four-step therapy from eHarmony.co.uk, that guarantees to flush the dating fatigue from your system and put you back on track:

1. Purge.

Unsuccessful dating attempts often leave behind a debris field of unfulfilled desires, unresolved grievances, and unyielding regrets. These are toxic to your emotional wellbeing, not to mention your chances for future success in matters of the heart. A critical step in the process of dating detox is learning to let go! Forget the past, and choose to move on.

2. Consume carefully.

A regimen of dating detox must include monitoring your intake of words, thoughts, advice, and images related to romance. Stay away from “downer” friends who whine about how hard it is to find a decent man/woman. Tune out family members who complain about their lousy relationships. When you feel your mood beginning to sink toward self-pity, do something about it. Even small shifts in your “diet” can lead to dramatic positive changes.

3. Rebuild.

Detox is not just about getting rid of unhealthy habits and emotions—but replacing them with ones more likely to get what you want. In this phase, begin by identifying the kind of partner you aspire to be. Are there qualities on the list you don’t yet possess? Make a plan to get there. Next, describe the person you are looking for in detail. This will help you recognise those people who don’t quite measure up—and save you another round of detox down the road.

4. De-stress.

Relationship experts point out the negative impact of placing too much stress on the dating process. Lots of people put tremendous pressure on themselves and their dates, continually analyzing what was said or not said, what they did or did not do. Having a relaxed, low-pressure approach to life and love makes for happy individuals—and happy individuals make happy, healthy romantic couples.

Everyone needs a round of dating detox now and then and what better time than the breaking of a new year.

 

Surviving Christmas as a Single

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The Christmas period is a time of mixed emotions for single people; Christmas parties give us lots of opportunities for meeting new people and securing a kiss under the mistletoe, but the elated party mood can fade quickly when we’re back home with family and being relentlessly quizzed about our single status.

An eHarmony.co.uk study (2009) found that 47% of singles cited loneliness as the reason they feel a sense of trepidation about going home for Christmas. Additionally, the unmarried men we surveyed said they found Christmas a more stressful time than Valentine’s Day.

We‘re not saying it’s easy, but if you try to approach being single from a positive perspective, there are a lot of good points about being single at this time of year – from evenings out at German Christmas markets to office parties and mince pie gatherings, there are so many added opportunities to socialize and get into the Christmas spirit. Here are a few tips on tackling December with confidence.

Top tips to avoid feeling left out if you’re not coupled-up this festive season, from Dr Gian Gonzaga, Senior Director of Research at online match-making website eharmony.co.uk

Fill your time
If you’ve been single for a while, you’ll probably be a dab hand at planning and filling your time. And that’s no bad thing – how often do you hear coupled friends moaning they can’t go out because ‘Rachel has promised to cook me dinner this evening’?  Whereas, you have no one else’s calendar to worry about. Grab the festive season with both hands; attend parties, see old friends, visit Christmas markets and invite other single friends round for dinner.

Feel good about yourself
So, you’ve got some spare time on your hands. Why not volunteer for a charity such as Crisis, over Christmas. Amazingly, some charities get over subscribed for volunteers on Christmas Day and Boxing Day but there’ll always be someone in need at some point over the festive season.

Don’t wallow
This is the cardinal rule of being single at Christmas – and in fact the whole year round. If you wallow in your feelings of sadness, you’ll enter into a downward spiral. Misery breeds misery, and it pushes people away. How often have you walked into a party and thought, ‘Ooh, I’ll talk to that miserable person over there’? We’re guessing never.

We know that it’s often easier said than done to banish those feelings of sadness – especially if you find yourself remembering last Christmas when things were better for you – but do try. As soon as you feel your mind wandering, distract yourself. Volunteer to do some cooking, call up a friend:  just get your mind off that subject.

Gather round, one and all

The Christmas holidays are about all the relationships you have, and you have a lot! Revel in these relationships because you probably don’t get to see them that often. After all, what’s funnier than Aunt Margaret after a few too many sherries? If you really can’t face it, coerce a friend into going with you – but take care, if you think all your attention will be spent making sure they’re ok rather than socialising, it’s a pointless exercise.

Don’t be the only single person at the party
Whilst you should stay social, try to avoid being the only single person at a party if you think it will bother you. Take a friend, or arrange to do something else. Of course, if you’re happy to be around just couples then party away.

Come up with a good comeback for nosy relatives
If there’s one thing to guarantee you regressing to being a sulky child, it’s a nosy relative inquiring about your love life. Yes it’s petty, but the fact is that when your smug distant cousin and his new wife are bearing down on you at a family gathering you’ll do well to have some stock answers to their potentially prying questions. This can range from the genuine (I just haven’t found the right person yet) to the flippant (I didn’t fancy buying so many presents this year) – whatever you’re comfortable with, just be prepared. And remember your relationships come and go on your terms and no one else’s.

Look on the bright side
There are actually lots of bonuses to being single at Christmas – no agonizing over presents for your partner, no stress over whose house to eat Christmas dinner at, being able to go to any party you want…the list goes on. Still feeling miserable? Remember that Christmas puts huge pressure on couples too, with 1.8million considering divorce over the period, according to Family Mediation Helpline. Also remember that there is life after Christmas – after all, it is just a week and it’ll soon be January. (And if the prospect of a cold and grey January doesn’t persuade you to enjoy the moment, nothing will)

Get away from it all
And, if you honestly can’t face Christmas at home, take the chance to be completely selfish and have a winter break. Relish your lack of responsibilities and spend a week lying on a beach, not sparing a thought for overeating and enforced jollity.

 

 

January's Magazines: Lady Gaga and Gwen Stefani Cover Stars.

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Lady Gaga takes the cover of Vanity Fair. She tells Vanity Fair: ‘I can’t commit to being an adult- I’m not ready.’

One of the main reasons I subscribe to Vanity Fair is the intelligent articles. I get my monthly dose of politics and economics. This month is no exception, there are brilliant articles to help you understand the economical crisis and a brilliant article on George F. Kennedy.

I really enjoyed Henry Aldord’s article on manners. It’s a sample from his book, Would it kill you to stop doing that?

  • Vanity Fair take Celine Dion out to lunch and she tells them she has over 3000 pair of shoes.
  • There is a brilliant article on Rick Perry, can he comeback?
  • Salman Rushdie on Lewis Carroll’s struggle to write his second book. ‘Follow that syndrome’ and how it helped him. Great piece.
  • The Japanese workers cleaning up Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.
  • Rebecca Eaton, who has put her stamp on Downton Abbey and Upstairs Downstairs amongst others.
  • Michael Ovitz and his (alleged) failed takeover of IMG from the late Teddy Forstmann.
  • The wonderful Christopher Hitchens debates whether the phrase ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ has merit.
  • The Queen and Prince Phillip in love. 16 pages on the blossoming of their love.
  • And P.D. James answers the Proust Questionnaire.

Marie Claire has Kelly Rowland on the cover. She talks Beyonce, men, music and admits she has cellulite.

There is a lot of clothes and shoes that will help you plan your wardrobe for next year, and lots of sparkly stuff for Christmas.

There is also a 2011 in review. Most magazines do this in December, watch out for Frosts.

  • Why famous men cheat, and does it sound like your man? Good article, and Lizzie Cundy tells Marie Claire how it felt when her husband cheated on her. Forgive and forget?
  • Four style savvy women share the party prepping secrets.
  • Janine di Giovanni goes in search of the truth about Aisha Gaddafi.
  • Should you tell your boss if your pregnant?
  • Matt Smith interview.
  • Who finds you the perfect date?
  • Jean Shrimpton’s Life story.
  • Amy Manson on the things she loves.
  • Future proof your looks.
  • Dakota Fanning’s beauty rules.
  • There is a very informative article on hormone problems, their symptoms and treatments.

Florence Welch take the cover of British Vogue and is interviewed inside. She tells Vogue: ‘I don’t think I’ll ever be polished. I’m integrally slightly scruffy. You know, you meet those women who are so cool? I’m striving for that so much!”.

  • In Vogue’s scrapbook there is a guide to flowers and their seasons and lots of floral dresses.
  • Sarah Lund from The Killing is interviews and asked about THAT jumper.
  • Women under siege, stories from women in Libya.
  • The new generation of female drummers.
  • Designing Duos.
  • Michael Kors
  • The Frieze Art; pictures and interviews from the art world’s fashion week.
  • Nomi Rapace interview.
  • Steven Spielberg and the cast for Warhorse.
  • Vogue’s great escapes. A brief history of Vogue shoots in foreign countries.
  • Three beauty hotshots show you how to par-down your make up bag.
  • Fast track your workout.

 

Glamour has X Factor’s Tulisa on the cover. She says ‘I don’t think I am anything like Cheryl, except we can both put a bit of volume in our hair’. She also says that she likes to ‘stick up for other women’. Which makes Frost like her. A lot.

  • Dermont O’Leary interview.
  • Don’t fear your fashion ghosts.
  • Get your dream job in 2012.
  • How to get blogged about.
  • The truth about food intolerance.
  • 3 Health problems you can fix yourself.
  • Can dating pro Matthew Hussey find you a man?
  • Tamara and Petra Ecclestone.
  • There is a good article on the rise of those awful pay day loan companies, beware of them at all costs!
  • Hollywood female stereotypes, a funny article by Mindy Kaling, writer of the US Office.
  • The truth about Hollywood stars selling their bodies when times get tough.
  • Give your closet a January detox with Danni Minogue.
  • Nicki Minaj interview and photo shoot.
  • How to get your s**t together. Sort out your wardrobe, make up bag, and everything else in your life.
  • Josh Duhamel interview.
  • The stars of 2012.
  • Your everything guide to skin.
  • Nicole Scherzinger on health and beauty.
  • The Devil in your diet: The low-down on sugar. Did you know that sugar has 4kcal per gram? There is also no difference between brown and white sugar.
  • 12 dinners for £50.

Tatler has Florence Brudenell-Bruce is on the cover. The girl that got away, Prince Harry’s ex tells Tatler that ‘one day everything will drop and I won’t be able to earn a living in my bikini’.

 

  • Free travel guide.
  • Rigby and Peller give Tatler their Mood Board.
  • What the recent overhaul of the royal succession means for the aristocracy.
  • Santa Sebag Montefiore launches a new skiing clothes line.
  • The Posh Commune.
  • Ella Hughes goes to an orgy.

  • Charles Gilkes and Duncan Stirling launch yet another party venue.
  • Quentin Letts sketchbook: Yvette Cooper.
  • Russian Billionaires at the High Court. Abramovich and Berezovsky go head to head.
  • Emma Freud reviews toasters.
  • Dafydd Jones on 30 years of chronicling the art crowd.
  • Writers on manners.
  • Joanne Lumley on her beauty routine.
  • Jo Malone on what she loves.

Gwen Stefani is on the cover of Instyle and is interviewed. Did you know she is friends with Angelina Jolie?

  • Where style starts: statement earrings.
  • Josephine de la Baume on her style.
  • Actors at the Toronto Film Festival.
  • Fashion insiders reveal what they cannot live without.
  • Tom Ford and Kate Bosworth. Tom has just launched a new make up range and Kate models
  • Instyle Shopping rules; jeans, vintage, lingerie, jewellery.
  • Instyle meets Jenna Lyons from J Crew.
  • Beyonce’s body rules.
  • Christmas Prep.
  • Megan Fox Up Close. Her beauty secrets.
  • Gizzi Erskine is In Style’s new columnist.

How To Get Over A Break Up.

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SGPFew things in life are as hard as a break up. Having your heart broken is not for wimps. Yet everyone will go through it at some point. Being left by someone you love will leave you bereft but you will survive. Here is the Frost guide to healing as quickly as possible.

[Note: although this articles is about getting over a man, the same advice mostly applies to women too]

Give yourself time to mourn

Nothing stops the end from being so hard.

When something ends in your life, no matter what it is, it is going to hurt. The end of a relationship is the death of that relationship and you have to give yourself time to mourn.

However, only give yourself a few days, a week maximum to really mop. Sounds tough, but it’s the best way. After that, go out a lot, join some classes, talk to your friends, exercise, or even just spend an evening watching a good boxset or reading magazines. Treat yourself and be kind. You are fragile so treat yourself as well as possible.

Cut him off.

When someone hurts you, react. Forgiveness comes later. Keep your dignity at all times, but don’t let yourself be manipulated. There is a reason you broke up.

Delete him on Facebook, stop following him on Twitter. Delete his number, his email from your contact list, cut him off. If he doesn’t want you in his life, then he doesn’t get to have you as a friend. Don’t settle for second best. He will probably want to keep you around and have you as a ‘friends with benefits’ but you are worth more, don’t do it.

Remove him from your life with surgical precision. Sell everything he bought you on Ebay and use the proceeds to go on a holiday with your girlfriends. Get ride of every mementos. Change your surrounding as much as possible and have a clear out. All of this will help.

Some people think you can be friends with an ex. Maybe you can after a long period, But, I think, the only reasons two exes can be friends is if they still love each other, or if they never did.

Don’t just rebound with the next guy.

Having casual sex will just make you feel worse. Embrace the good things about being single, not the meat market aspect. You will be a different person from who went into the relationship. Give yourself some time to grow and settle into yourself.

Remind yourself what you didn’t like about him.

Write everything down. No one is perfect and there are things he done that drove you mad. Did he play computer games all day? Watch football? Whatever it is, that has also gone from your life too. Thumbs up.

Take responsibility

Take note of what you did wrong in the relationship, the mistakes you made. Learn from every bad experience. It takes two people to destroy a relationship. Your next relationship will be the better for it.

Enjoy being single.

Embrace all the great things about being single. Do all of the things that you love that he hated. Go out and flirt. Flirting is fun and there are a lot of amazing men out there. Go out and date. Enjoy yourself knowing you have no ball and chain.

Become an independent women who loves her life. Remember when Prince William dumped Kate Middleton? Kate shortened her hem lines, and went out with Williams friends looking absolutely stunning. No wonder he fell back in love with her.

[If you follow all of this advice and your ex comes crawling back, think hard before taking him back, all of the old problems will still be there. Don’t throw more good time after bad.]

Let go

Know that everything will get better and that time will heal. After removing him from your life and embracing your new one, let go. Nothing good comes from hanging onto the past. Go out and live your life, knowing that you are better off without him.

My final piece of advice is to not let a bad man ruin you for a good one in the future. There is a good man out there for you. If you become bitter, he wins. Always know that even in the darkest moments that there is a good man out there for you, and one day you will find him. Just keep searching and live your life.