Tag Archives: debretts

Debrett’s Reveal The Questions They’re Most Frequently Asked

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debrett's guide to good mannersDebrett’s have revealed the questions they are most frequently asked by the public.  The list, which covers everything from social kissing to mobile phone use, provides a revealing insight into the social anxiety people experience in behaviour for everyday situations. We may no longer live in the structured world of ‘Downtown Abbey’, but it’s clear that many of us still yearn for guidance on good manners.

 

Debrett’s was founded in London in 1769, and now has an international presence.  In the last 12 months they received more than 10,000 enquiries from across the globe.  The enquiries on social behaviour inform part of the recently released Debrett’s Handbook, a 480-page compendium on good manners.

 

Below Debrett’s reveal the questions they have been most frequently asked in the last 12 months, and provide their responses.

 

1 – MOBILE PHONE USE

Debrett’s receive more enquiries about mobile use than any other device. According to Debrett’s, it is always rude to pay more attention to a phone than a person in the flesh, and they should always be put away when transacting other business – for example, when you’re paying for something in a shop.  They should be switched off in theatres, cinemas (including during the trailers!), art galleries, or any space where silence is desired.

 

2 – SMOKING E-CIGARETTES AT WORK

As electronic cigarettes become more popular, so to do the number of enquiries that Debrett’s receive on the device.  The most pressing question is whether they are acceptable in the workplace. According to Debrett’s they should never be used in a work environment. Vaping shows that you’re not focused on your work and may also be a distraction to your colleagues.

 

3 – SOCIAL GREETING: KISSING

Many people are clearly unclear on the subject of social kissing.  According to Debrett’s, kissing is not appropriate in many professional situations. On the whole it should only be used among friends, but not on first meeting. An air kiss, without contact, may seem rude or impersonal, so very slight contact is best but no sound effects are needed.

 

4 – EATING AND APPLYING MAKE-UP ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT

Following the recent controversy surrounding public-shaming websites, Debrett’s has been inundated with enquiries as to whether it’s acceptable to eat or apply make-up on public transport.  According to Debrett’s you should avoid both.  It’s inconsiderate to eat smelly food in a confined environment, and applying make-up on public transport can jeopardise that all-important first impression and make you appear disorganised.

 

5 – RECLINING YOUR SEAT ON AEROPLANES

This is a common bugbear.  According to Debrett’s, it’s selfish to recline your seat back during short daytime flights. When travelling by plane always stay within your own designated space and don’t hog the armrest. Also avoid kicking the back of the seat in front of you or using it as an aid to standing-up.

 

6 – GIVING UP YOUR SEAT ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT

In a recent university experiment only 20% of London tube passengers offered to give up their seat to a visibly pregnant woman.  According to Debrett’s, passengers should always offer to give up their seat to any individual that is pregnant, elderly, or clearly in need. It is important to remember, however, that it is just as rude to aggressively decline the offer of a seat as it is to not offer a seat.

 

7 – BLIND COPYING (bcc)

Debrett’s receive a high level of enquiries on best business practice.  The most commonly asked question is whether it is ever right to blind copy (bcc) someone into an email. According to Debrett’s, blind copying should be used discerningly as it is deceptive to the primary recipient. Instead, the email should be forwarded on to the third party, with a short note explaining any confidentiality, after its distribution.

If blind copying is essential – i.e. for a confidential document where all recipients must remain anonymous – then the sender should address the email to themselves, and everyone else as ‘bcc’ recipients.

 

8  – EATING BEFORE EVERYONE IS SERVED

The final question is one that we’ve all asked ourselves: is it rude to start eating at the table before everyone else has been served?  According to Debrett’s the simple answer is yes, unless the host or hostess gives their permission for diners to start

 

Out now, Debrett’s Handbook is the most comprehensive book Debrett’s has ever published aside from its famed registers, People of Today and Peerage & Baronetage, and combines Debrett’s Correct Form with a guide to modern manners for the first time. Priced at £35, and available from the Debrett’s online shop Debrett’s Handbook will make for a great Christmas present – and it’s sure to settle a number of age-old family debates on manners and appropriate behaviour! The Debrett’s Handbook is out now.  For more information visit www.debretts.com

 

 

Kate Middleton; How To Catch Your Own Prince. Jerramy Fine Tells All.

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1) How excited are you about the Royal Wedding.

Are you kidding? I live for this stuff. To me, royal nuptials are this heady concoction of ancient tradition, modern-day romance and fairy tale magic. (Not to mention that I have been fascinated by England’s royal family since I was a toddler and for many years, my greatest wish was to marry one of the Queen’s grandsons!)


2) What do you think about Kate Middleton?
I think Kate’s fashion sense is pitch-perfect. She always looks chic yet conservative and her love of classic staples like tailored suits, tweed jackets and suede boots, makes it clear that the girl was born to be a Windsor. I wish she weren’t so heavy handed with her eye-liner, but she is leading the way when it comes to teaching England the value of a good American-style blow-dry.

4) Why did you want to be a princess?

I was born with this incessant princess desire. I’m not sure why or how. (I mean, my parents are hippies and I wasn’t allowed television!) I guess it started with Disney Princesses and then when I saw Diana’s wedding – that was it. My career goal was solved at a very early age. Princesshood or bust!

One of the major things that always attracted me to princesshood was the amazing sacrifice these rare women made for their countries. The idea of living a life of duty – for the sake of your subjects, rather than yourself – still brings tears to my eyes. One of things I loved about Princess Diana more than anything else – more than her stunning beauty and more than her royal title – was that she genuinely understood the unique and far-reaching power of being a Princess. Wherever she went, for better or for worse, Diana knew the press would follow – yet she had the principles and the courage to use this incredible power to draw the world’s attention away from herself and onto those that needed it most.

Needless to say, I also wanted Princess Diana’s wardrobe, palaces and parties (what little girl wouldn’t?), but I also yearned for that distinctively royal strength: to be able to think beyond yourself any situation.

5) Any tips for women who want to get into the Royal Circle?
Always be polite, but getting your foot in the royal door is not easy so be prepared to punch your way in! Once you’re there, be sure to dress appropriately, to smile demurely and to say as a little as possible. (Check out the the ball scene in My Fair Lady for more details.)


6) You obviously love Royalty. Why do you think the Royal family are still relevant?
When you hail from a country where the only palace is Cinderella’s Castle, it’s natural to be enthralled by the UK’s living, breathing royal family. For many Brits, the royals are just a part of everyday English life, but to me the royal family and all it represents is a constant source of enchantment.

Every little girl dreams of meeting prince charming, becoming a princess and living happily ever after – and by agreeing to marry William, Kate Middleton has become a conduit for the world to vicariously live out these dreams. I think the royals fulfil a very real need in our global psyche that cannot be fulfilled by politicians or Hollywood stars.


7) How did you come about writing your book?
When I met my childhood crush at the age of 25, I knew I had a story tell! I’ve always enjoyed writing and I knew that my quest to be a princess was a theme most girls could relate to. There’s lots of negativity and skepticism in the world these days – so most of all, I wanted my book to convey the importance of listening to your heart, holding tight to your childhood dream and believing in the impossible – no matter what those grumpy cynics out in the real world may tell you!


8) Who are your favourite writers?
Paul Coelho (The Alchemist), Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love), and Garth Stein (Art of Racing in the Rain) – for soul-touching narratives. Nancy Mitford, Evelyn Waugh, Julian Fellowes and Oscar Wilde for pure British wit and aristocratic indulgence.


9) How should women dress and act to fit into aristocratic circles?
Ignore fashion trends and stick with the classics. (Skinny jeans belong on Kate Moss not on Kate Middleton.) Instead, learn to love cashmere and tweed. Buy a copy of Debrett’s and study your etiquette. Table manners can make or break your social standing, so memorize the proper way to eat peas and the correct direction to pass the port.


10) What’s next for you?

I’m working on a book entitled “In Defence of the Princess” – exploring the princess archetype that so many girls cling to and the redeeming qualities/life lessons that can be gleaned from fictional and modern-day princesses.

 

For more information go to Jerramy’s website and buy here book here.

The Lost Art of The Handwritten Word

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With current times giving us emails, texts, and instant messaging at home and on-the-go; the art of the handwritten word
has been lost. We have Blackberries and computers electronically telling us where we have to be and what we have to do. No longer do
we write our schedules in beautiful leather-bound diaries that we can keep and look back on for years to come.

It is time for us to appreciate the beauty of writing by hand; and the enjoyment that can be got from it.

Despite having a Blackberry and every other time-keeping and communications gadget our planet possesses, I insist on using a lovely floral hardback
diary. There is nothing quite so simple and enjoyable as turning the pages to see what the next week has in store, or neatly jotting in that
lunch date with a much loved friend.

The same with correspondance. Stationary can be such a lovely representation of who we are, and the buying of it opens up a whole new world of shopping.
Why type out an email thanking someone for a beautiful present, when you can write them a letter with your own hand?
It’s so much more personal, and the recipient will appreciate it all the more. I firmly believe in the power of the handwritten ‘Thank You’ note.

Debretts say that “Receiving a thoughtfully penned letter from a thoroughly modern girl should command delight. The impact is lost, however, if a piece
of photocopier paper with the scrawl of a biro is extricated from a business envelope featuring the logo of an employer. Every sophisticate should have a
stationary supply and stationary, like clothing, is an interface to personality.”

When writing a letter or card, it is good practice to always include your address; and your sign-off (e.g. Best Wishes) should, as Debretts instructs,
reflect your relationship with the recipient.

Smythson is one of my favourite stationary and diary suppliers. I love their Fashion Diary. Get the 2010 edition in stores now. Not only is it
a beautiful leather bound diary; but it will keep you in-the-loop with the all the major scheduled fashion events.

The website www.snowandgraham.com is another one of my favourite places to buy notecards and greetings card. There is something for everyone amongst
their stylish designs.

So, next time you are going out shopping, remember you’ve got something new to add to your list.

By Laura Pearson.