My daughter told me she had a problem with her food a few days after we had put a deposit on a puppy – an English springer spaniel.
It was meant to be a surprise. Now it seemed it would be an added burden, an unwanted distraction when all I wanted to do was concentrate my energies on getting Nelly well.
Should we still go ahead or should we just lose the deposit; call and cancel and let the pup go to a new home?
But the thoughts of that cute little puppy made me feel warm and peaceful and so we went ahead anyway.
Aware of the stress factor (we had had springers before) I knew that if it all got too much we could rehome her.
I prepared myself by watching endless episodes of It’s me or the Dog and reading countless books on how to train your dog. I wanted to be fully armed and confident.
It was with a mixture of trepidation and excitement that we went to collect her on Christmas Eve and as soon as my husband and I saw her I knew that it was the right thing to do.
Focussing our attention on Millie was exactly what we needed. Nelly came with me to puppy socialisation classes and then to training. It gave us something else to focus on, something that kept us together. We had a common aim other than her illness.
It could have been a disaster but it turned out to be the best thing we did. You need to find your own distraction from the eating disorder. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a pet, a jigsaw or gardening. You need something that gives everyone a break from the illness.
Distraction is good.
Tracy Baines has written a book about how her daughter’s eating disorder impacted on her family. The book It’s Not about the Food is part memoir part self-help guide. It contains resources she found helpful and quotes from many other parents she either interviewed or who responded to her questionnaire.