Nikki Gemmell Interview | Books

Nikki Gemmell is a talented Australian author, best known for writing the best-selling erotic trilogy The Bride Stripped Bare, With My Body and I Take You. She has recently released her first children’s book, The Kensington Reptilarium. Scarily talented and productive, it was an honour to interview her.

 nikki glemmel interview

You have written eight novels and four works of non-fiction. How do you manage to be so prolific?

 

In that exhausting lifestyle triumverate of the modern harried woman – work/family/social life – something has to give.  I just don’t believe you can have all three.  In my case it’s the social life that’s been sacrificed.  I just get too knackered.  Having kids has also made me much more disciplined.  I don’t spend their school hours unpacking the dishwasher and tidying the house – I write, solidly.  Am constantly gleaning little pockets of time to get it all done (in fact am typing this now, in the car, on the side of the road, having just dropped off my son to a basketball match.)

 

You write a lot about female sexuality. What draws you to write about it?

Honesty connects.  Nowhere more powerfully than in the sexual sphere.  There is so much vulnerability, bewilderment and misconception about sexuality, and it feels exhilarating (and necessary) to write about it utterly truthfully.

 

Lire included you in a list of the fifty most important writers in the world. How did that feel?

It’s a little tuning fork in my head – to try and live up to it!

 

You have written your first children’s book, The Kensington Reptilarium: what made you choose that genre?

Several of my own children who were too addicted to their wretched screens.  I wanted to write a kid’s book that would ignite the flame of reading passion in them, because I just couldn’t get it to catch alight (to my despair and mortification.)  Lo and behold, the Grand Scheme of Maximum Distraction actually worked.

 

Do you have a favourite book that you have written?

Shiver, my first novel – a story extremely close to my heart.  The Bride Stripped Bare – because it transformed my life.  And The Kensington Reptilarium – because it was such enormous, liberating fun.

 

What is your writing routine?

Get the kids, work solidly, then pick them up and give my life over to them.  My trick is to get household chores done around them – never in cherished writing time.

 

How do you come up with your ideas?

I’m constantly on the prowl with a notebook in my handbag – it records ideas, titles, quotes, conversation scraps, magazine articles.

 

Do you ever get writers block?

I used to but not anymore – writing is a business to me now, as well as a passion.  It pays bills, so I just have to plough on or my kids won’t be fed.  I literally can’t afford to be blocked anymore.

 

How long does it take you to write a book?

Usually a couple of years, but I’ve actually written one of them in three weeks (not saying which!)

 

What’s next?

The publishers want a sequel to Kensington Reptilarium, as it did well for them.  Then I’m thinking of an historical novel after that. Something different for me.  I’m addicted to change, trying new things. Not afraid of failure in the slightest. It’s how you progress in life.

 

Advice for wannabe writers?

Tenacity is all. And discipline. Focus. The capacity for hard, gruelling work. Talent only gets you so far.

 

Best piece of advice you have ever been given?

Write as if you’re dying – it’s a great motivator.  It stops you making that seventh cup of tea.

 

http://www.nikkigemmell.com/ 
Nikki Gemmell’s Threesome: The Bride Stripped Bare, With the Body, I Take You
Honestly: Notes on Life

 

An Introduction to BDSM – a beginner’s guide by Tiffany Reisz

Here is an excellent guide to BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) from erotic writer Tiffany Reisz. Perfect for turning up the heat in winter, and beyond.

  1. Think about why you want to try. A healthy sexual relationship should be about having fun and enjoying each other. There are many different ways to inject a touch spice into your sex life and BDSM although scary sounding can be a fun way of adding a touch of ooh lah lah as well as bonding you and your partner. In more ways than one, perhaps!

 

  1. Think first – Before you approach the topic of introducing BDSM into your sex lives, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons: to get closer and deeper into the relationship, enjoy and celebrate each other as well as to spice up your sex life.

 

  1. Talk about it – How else will you know what you want to explore? Talk about what type fantasies you may have – it’s part of the fun discussing and planning what you think you want to try out. BDSM needs a lot of communication.

 

  1. First steps – Try out some fantasies in ‘non-threatening areas’ such as during phone sex. It’s a fun way of easing into roleplay and can be done throughout the day at unexpected times.  It may help to suggest days and times when it’s best to call – the last thing you want is to have someone else answer the it!

 

  1. Light bondage is always fun, sensual and sexy. For example, my favorite scene in The Prince involves nothing more than light bondage. Søren has his lover Kingsley tied to a bed so Kingsley can’t move his hands. The only thing Søren does is touch and kiss Kingsley every where except where Kingsley wants to be touched and kissed. Orgasm denial mixed with light bondage is a delightful way to sensually torture your partner. Tease him or her until they’re begging for release and only when they’ve begged enough do you give them what they want.

 

  1. BDSM doesn’t require expensive equipment or a dungeon all your own. Household objects can be used for light pain-play. Do you own a leather belt. It’s great for light-whipping on the bottom or back of the thighs. Søren and Kingsley don’t have access to BDSM equipment when they first become lovers at school That doesn’t stop them from doing pain-play. Everything from a belt to a thin but sturdy tree branch can be used. If it was good enough for our grandparents to punish our parents with, it’s good enough for us to use during S&M play.

 

  1. Mistress Nora loves sensual BDSM. She loves mixing pain with pleasure. In The Siren, she ties a young man spread-eagle to a bed on his back, mounts him in women superior position, and drips candle wax on his chest during the sex. Pleasure + Pain = Magic.

 

 

  1. Keep communicating – BDSM is always about communication. After sex or while you are feeling especially close to your partner, it’s good to share things and let each other know how it felt, what parts you may want to do again.  It is critical to know when one of you wants to stop. Agree on a ‘stop’ word or signal – remember some areas of BDSM may mean difficulty in speaking (mouth lightly gagged, for example).

 

 

  1. Take Turns – As with everything, it is give and take. Agree to try out something new and take turns. As time goes on, you will both learn who is the ‘dominant’ and who is the ‘submissive’. Kingsley had no idea he had a submissive/masochistic side until the first time Søren held him down by his wrists on a bed. It’s something as simple as enjoying or loathing being held down that can tell you what your sexual persuasion is.

 

  1. Keep it coming As you continue to play these games, your relationship will reach levels of trust, communication, and intimacy that you’ve never experienced before so introduce it as regularly as you see fit.

 

By Tiffany Reisz who’s book ,The Prince is out now