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Call Off The Search by Anna and Andrew Wallas Book Review

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ProductImage-7554068The Modern Day Wizard. Call Off The Search is part self-help book, part relationship confessional. Written by real life couple Anna (formerly Pasternak) and Andrew Wallas. Andrew is a spiritual psychotherapist and Anna is a renowned journalist.

First of all let me say that I enjoyed reading the book. I am not a big fan of self-help books, although there are a few that I think are good, but I do like to read about other people’s relationships. Although I am not single I found that some of the stuff Andrew said made sense in an I-should-have-thought-about-it-way. I do think that most self-help books are just common sense written down. Life gets busy and you forget what you should know. I like how the book has been written, they respond to each other and then their is a checklist at the end.

Anna is known for being controversial but must be given credit for being so honest and open. You do get the feeling that she likes pushing buttons and creating debate, but it takes courage to write down your thoughts honestly and truthfully. Most people would never do this, nor be able to deal with the criticism. Indeed, the book has been marketed as the ‘most controversial book of the year’. While I am not sure if it is the most controversial, it may be the most honest.

Anna says: “I truly believe that behind every hardened feminist there is a women who is looking to be loved and saved by a man”. To be honest, who does not want love? Anna and Andrew have been together since 2010, which is when I met my boyfriend. They do seem very much in love. If I were single I would find this book helpful, but even as someone who is in a relationship I still found it interesting. I am not keen on the yurt stuff and have never been a fan of ‘new age’ things. I don’t have to find myself because I know who I am (or where I am), but this book is enjoyable and a good read. With lovely snippets of knowledge along the way. The book says that you should be honest with your partner and feel your emotions instead of denying them. This is good advice. There is also a chapter on ‘core wounding’, finding out what affects you and makes you angry.

Anna Pasternak shocked the British public by exposing the Princess Diana and James Hewitt affair, and subsequently startled readers with her Daily Mail article entitled Sorry, But My Baby Bores Me. Now, along with her New Age therapist-husband, Andrew Wallas (aka. The Modern Day Wizard) she has written an explosive, game-changing account about their struggle to find true love and intimacy.

Anna hated her life as a single mother until her friends suggested that she meet spiritual psychotherapist Andrew. What followed was an intense spiritual awakening as Andrew uncovered her inner loneliness and showed her that she was going to find true love. That this true love was to be with Andrew himself, then married to his wife of twenty-five years, was a huge surprise to them both. They have now written about their relationship, confronting taboos such as sexual jealousy, revenge, hatred and power struggle, to convey their experiences from the front line of true love.

Call Off The Search is a brave examination of the nature of all modern relationships – the messy, bonkers and painful alongside the inspiring and enlightening – unlike any other self-help, spiritual or relationship book.

It is set to be one of the most controversial reads this year.

‘She’s prepared for the backlash, but with her 20-year search for true love now at an end, Anna Pasternak is ready to share her secret. “I truly believe that behind every hardened feminist there is a women who is looking to be loved and saved by a man”.’ Scotland on Sunday

‘I get emails from women who admire my honesty. Like when I wrote about motherhood. Of course I love my daughter. But that doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge being at home with a new-born is boring. I got hate mail for that. One woman said I should have my child taken away. But I find it difficult not to speak the truth and that doesn’t always make me very popular.’ Daily Mail

‘I honestly didn’t think I was going to find an interesting and solvent man over 40, ever. Now I’m the poster girl for hope.’ Daily Telegraph

Buy Call Off the Search: The Modern Day Wizard here

5 Tips for getting a New Year Date

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5 Tips for getting a New Year Date by eHarmony.co.uk’s relationship expert, Jenni Trent Hughes

 

Whew! You’ve successfully navigated your way through the Christmas office parties and endless array of pre and post Christmas gatherings with your dignity intact. Now we must face the next social hurdle – the dreaded ‘New Year No Date’ scenario. We are told this is the most important date night of all, the one in which we must have a kiss on the stroke of midnight to welcome in 2013 or….. Luckily we have plenty of time to take action to avoid a kiss less end to 2012. Here eharmony.co.uk provides five great tips to help you on your way.

 

Have you made plans yet for your New Year’s Eve? Will you be heading to your local pub with friends? Or maybe you’re going to a big party, glitz, glamour and all? Whatever you’re doing, if you’re single you might be wondering if you’ll be getting a kiss at midnight. Now is not the time for procrastination – if you’re set on getting a New Year’s date, it’s time to take action! Here are some tried and tested tips that should help you welcome the New Year with someone on your arm:

 

1.    Become the person you’d want to date

The post-Christmas blues can leave you feeling deflated, dejected and just not in the right frame of mind for dating. But if your goal is to get a date for that New Year’s bash, then it’s time to give yourself a kick up the behind. Pick out a great outfit, have your hair done or simply draw up your New Year’s resolutions to get yourself energised about the year ahead. If you’re feeling really ambitious make concrete plans to do try something new in the coming months such as booking yourself on a climbing course, or planning a holiday to somewhere you’ve never been. By heading to that party with a spring in your step and an air of confidence you’ll hugely increase your chances of getting a kiss at midnight.

 

2.    Get online – or get better online

You might need to get a move on with this, but dating online unlocks a whole world of potential partners – and New Year dates!

 

If you’ve already got an online dating profile, it might be time to refresh it a little. Take a look at the photos you’ve uploaded and what you’ve written, asking yourself these questions:

 

•    Are my photos varied, and do I look happy and relaxed in them?

•    Do I sound happy and positive?

•    Do I convey the kind of person I’m truly looking for?

•    Is this the best possible representation of me?

•    Does my profile stand out from the crowd?

 

3.    Get set up

Your friendship network is a powerful tool for meeting new people. Perhaps the old theory about there just being six degrees of separation in the world isn’t necessarily true, but your friends know people, who know people. This is no time to be shy – put yourself out there, and ask if they know any suitable singles. They might know someone looking for a New Year date too. One caveat, meet them first, just to make sure you can stand them for more than 5 minutes!

 

4.    Throw your own party

As long as you’ve got the space (and perhaps lots of coasters) why not throw your own party? Open up your doors, and ensure that friends are actively encouraged to bring along people they know (who are hopefully also single). The thing about being single is that you have to grab every opportunity to meet new people, expand your network and hopefully line up dates. Sitting on your sofa hoping the dates will come to you just won’t cut it.

 

 

5.    Go it alone

Feeling brave? In a mood to grasp 2013 with both hands? Start the year as you mean to go on and go to an organised New Year event alone. There are hundreds of events across the UK especially for single people to celebrate the New Year, and it certainly is a great way to meet a ton of new people very quickly. Going alone will be daunting  but it will force you to speak to new people and hopefully meet someone new. And if you’ve not feeling quite so brave you can always take a friend, but just remember the point of the evening is to meet new people, not to chat to your friend in a corner!

 

Whichever of these options you choose keep one thing in mind – 2013 is about YOU and working on making your life the life that you really want to live. Design your New Year’s celebration to reflect your hopes and positive attitudes for 2013. If it feels good then do it. Start the year in the way you mean to continue, onward and upward!

DATING’S A BORE… THIS MEANS WAR!

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New dating site promises to end awkward silences with action-packed dates

First-daters are tired of awkward silences, boredom and tedious questions, but a new dating site has the answer.

‘Doing Something’ – a new dating site which takes first dates out of the restaurant and into the thick of the action – has teamed up with Twentieth Century Fox to offer singletons action-packed first dates inspired by the hit romantic comedy This Means War, starring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy.

On the back of a new survey of over 1,200 Brits which reveals eight out of ten 16-24 year-old daters are tired of uncomfortable awkward silences, ‘Doing Something are encouraging singletons to sweat it out on the paintball battlefield, trapeze their way to love or take a romantic crash course on the race track, with dates mirroring This Mean’s War’s romantic action sequences.

A third of those surveyed feel that action dates help them lose their inhibitions, and by getting hot and sweaty this breaks down barriers. This increases significantly with the 16-34 age bracket, with just under half agreeing. A quarter of those surveyed feel more likely to go on a second date, having been on an action date over a traditional restaurant date.

Males seem more convinced that an action date will also lead them to enjoy a kiss, with one in every four compared to just over one in ten of females. But not everyone after an action date has just a passionate embrace on their mind, with one in ten males feeling an activity-based date is more likely to lead to sex, five times more than female respondents.

Asked which celebrity they would most want to go on an action-packed date with, the top choices for women were men of action David Beckham, Gerard Butler and Jenson Button. Meanwhile men went for Olympian Jessica Ennis and action chicks Angelia Jolie or Megan Fox.

The number one action date option was theme parks with more than one in four feeling that love is a rollercoaster, whilst one in twenty would prefer hurtling from the sky as a way to get to know someone, choosing tandem skydives.

CEO of Doing Something Matt Janes commented: “Doing Something takes the awkwardness out of dating and moves away from clinical setting of a restaurant meal to something more natural and encourages more spontaneity. Going on an action dates immediately gives those on a first date something in common and takes away the focus from each other.”

This Means War is the hilarious action comedy about a pair of spies (Tom Hardy and Chris Pine) who fall in love with the same woman (Reese Witherspoon) and take their espionage skills too far by spying on her every move to try and get the upper hand.

Using the action dates in the This Means War as inspiration, Doing Something is offering three themed dates:

* Circus Space – a trapeze date is a litmus test in its own right and a sure fire way to work out some early trust issues, just like Lauren and Tuck when they go on a circus date in the film
* Paintballing – show your ability to cope whilst under fire and like Tuck in the film dispel any doubts that this may be a safe choice
* Supercar – go for the shared adrenaline experience, picking from a choice of thoroughbred Ferraris, track inspired Porsches, iconic Caterhams and desirable Lamborghinis, mirroring the film’s final car chase

https://www.doingsomething.co.uk/we-heart-london/this-means-war/

Top 5 male and female celebrities public would take on action dates:

Guys

· David Beckham

· Gerard Butler

· Jason Statham

· Jenson Button

· Harry Styles

Females

· Jessica Ennis

· Cheryl Cole

· Tulisa Contostavlos

· Angelina Jolie

· Megan Fox

The Hunt For Prince Harry

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Channel 4 film follows ‘Harry Hunters’.

Since the marriage between Kate Middleton and Prince William, Prince Harry has been thrust into the spotlight as the most eligible bachelor in Britain. Third in line to the throne, the remaining handsome Prince has become an object of desire for girls across the globe. A brand new Channel 4 documentary, First Cut: The Harry Hunters is set to follow five girls who are determined in their quest to snag their very own Prince Charming.

The film follows 21-year old American friends Cassie and Whitney who grew up in rural Iowa, watching Disney movies and dreaming they would one day marry Prince Harry. They know that to achieve your dreams you have to be prepared to go the distance. Cassie and Whitney have done their research and have a plan – to hit his favourite haunts – from Polo clubs to exclusive Mayfair nightspots.

However, they have strong competition from the ‘queens’ of the social network in East London. School friends Joy and Jade know Prince Harry’s whereabouts at any time, day or night. Twitter is their medium of choice – whether Harry’s partying in Croatia or flying Apache helicopters, they will know within seconds. 16-year old Joy even has an engagement ring for the Prince when the right moment comes to propose.

And finally 14-year-old Flora who hangs out in Chelsea, London and avidly reads the newspapers to know what Prince Harry is up to each week. However, she is determined to impress her teenage heart-throb by working hard at school in her hopes to become an intelligent Princess.

Channel 4 Commissioning Editor Aysha Rafael says: “The Harry Hunters shares the romantic age-old dreams held by thousands of young girls around the world. They fantasise of fairy tale dresses, extravagant royal weddings and for that special day when they finally meet their Prince Charming.”

First Cut: The Harry Hunters is directed by first time producer and director, Emily Hughes and is executive produced by Emily Renshaw-Smith and Peter Dale.

First Cut is a collection of original and bold documentary films by up and coming first time directors and part of Channel 4’s continuous commitment to nurturing new and diverse talent. It first launched in 2007 and now in its sixth year and is commissioned by Aysha Rafaele.

SPRUCE UP YOUR DATING PROFILE

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Almost six million Brits are now dating online[1] but with so many people and so many profiles in the digisphere, it pays to be creative. Standing out from the virtual crowd has never been more important if you are hoping to meet a long term partner online.

“Whether you have signed up for the first time or have been online dating for several months, never under-estimate the power of your dating profile,” says Dr Gian Gonzaga, world-renowned expert in the field of compatibility and relationships for eHarmony®.

“Your online profile is a virtual window into your life, your passions, your goals and accomplishments. There’s no set formula for a ‘great profile’ as everyone’s different, but every profile should be positive and lively. Like a CV, it should show off your best points, but instead of a dry list of achievements it should be conversational in tone and full of personality.”

So, if you’re thinking of starting on the online dating journey, follow Dr Gonzaga’s ten tips to ensuring your profile gets you a first date, and lots more:

1. RELAX AND TURN OFF DISTRACTIONS

The first step is to get comfortable and relaxed and have a bit of distance from noise and distractions so you can concentrate on thinking about all your positives. Sit down on the sofa, put some music on, and start jotting down some thoughts about what makes you unique on paper, or the computer.

2. DO YOUR RESEARCH

What better way to research than reading other people’s profiles and looking at what you like about them, and what you don’t. Make sure your profile isn’t the same as others’ though. You’re unique.

3. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS SAY ABOUT YOU?

Everyone finds it difficult writing about themselves. It’s often easier to write about other people; so ask your close friends to describe your best qualities. Your friends can reveal a lot about your character that you may never spot.

4. STAY POSITIVE!

Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Your profile is essentially your dating CV. You wouldn’t want a future employer to read anything negative on your CV, so why would you want a potential partner to read anything that isn’t positive?

5. ADOPT A WRITER’S STYLE

Many people find poor grammar and spelling a turn off, and the best of us can make mistakes, so be careful on this point. Always write in full sentences, don’t abbreviate or use text speak. Then read your profile aloud, or ask a friend to double check it. Then put it into Word and use your computer spell check for final peace of mind.

6. UPDATE YOUR PHOTOS

Pictures are an essential part of your profile so use them to full effect. These are a few good examples:

– The Full Face Close Up: Great light, no sunglasses. You’re simply smiling!

– The Full Body: Ideally standing outside.

– The Waist Up: Sitting down and smiling.

– Your Passion: Doing something you really love – snowboarding, sailing etc.

– Your Favourite Place: Local park, the beach or garden, it’s a great conversation starter.

7. BE SPECIFIC

When you’re writing about what sums you up as a person, talk in specifics to give a full flavour of who you are. If you love travelling, say where your favourite place is and why. Anything concrete like this brings you alive to anyone reading, and improves your chances of there being some connecting points.

8. HAVE FUN!

Most people want to find someone who can make them laugh, so show people you have a sense of humour. If you can make someone laugh or someone can make you laugh, it’s a great icebreaker and could get your conversation off to a great start.

9. TWEAK AS YOU GO

Be prepared to tweak the profile as you go along, you can always come back to it and change it if you feel you didn’t quite get it right the first time. Add in your current achievements or hobbies, so if you’ve just started a photography course, then add that to your profile.

10. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES

And finally, think about what you would think if you read your own profile. Are you interested in you? If you feel curious then you are off to a flying start.

eHarmony.co.uk helps its users to meet compatible matches through its patented Compatibility Matching System using data from its detailed Relationship Questionnaire. Unlike other dating sites, eHarmony.co.uk uses the results of the Relationship Questionnaire to match you with others who share similar characteristics, attitudes and beliefs – proven indicators of long term relationship success.

The site also provides its users with a free and in-depth Personality Profile which offers insights into who you are and how others perceive you – as well as what your needs are in a partner. Your profile, in and of itself, can be a valuable dating tool to you in your quest to find true love that lasts. The more you know about yourself, the more you will know what you need from a potential life-partner.