Tag Archives: freelance

I am a Freelance Working Mother and This is What it is Like

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working mother, working, parent, freelance, parenting, writer, writing, Catherine BalavageHello there from the trenches of working motherhood. I am a freelance writer and editor with two children under three. Today I feel faintly refreshed after having a few hours sleep last night. I get asked a lot what it is like being a freelance writing mother so I want to take you through my week. I will also update you as time goes on. Welcome to my world.

Last week my son was ill and not in nursery. He goes to nursery part-time. Three hours five days a week. Thankfully it is a nursery in a state school so is free. Unlike his previous nursery which cost over £1600 a term. Anyway, back to the point. So my son was ill, my daughter had a little cold and the freelance Gods thought this would be a good time for me to get a lot of work. I find as a freelancer that I get a lot of work all at once, or barely any. I make more money at the beginning of the year than I do the end. So my son was ill, I had no childcare and the baby was not sleeping at night. Even more than usual. Now, she doesn’t sleep anyway. She is sixteen months old and has slept though the night once. So I am one tired mama. And as usual, everything was happening at once.

I got a lot of work, hundreds of emails to go through, this mag to run and a million other things to do. It is full on and stressful. I would not want it any other way but I would quite like a spa day. To top it off my husband went off to Scotland for two days on a work trip. I swear, I do not know how single mothers do it. Both children were up all night and I ended up shaking from head to toe in my bed from the exhaustion. I get people telling me to just take it easy when it comes to my work, or to quit. It infuriates me. No one tells me to not be up all night with the baby, or to not do domestic crap, but doing something for myself and continuing to work on my career? Yeah, let’s give up the thing that keeps me sane.

In December I passed a writing course I was doing. It was intense and stressful doing it while looking after two children but I now have the certificate. The sense of pride and accomplishment always makes it worthwhile. I love working. There are many benefits to work other than money. There is the social aspect, the accomplishment, the contribution to society and the world as a whole. Work is important so I will carry on. Even when it means keeping one eye on the children while working on my computer.

I wrote my first novel by putting my son in the pram and walking until he fell asleep. I would then write two thousand words. Every day. No excuses. It worked and that is the thing about being a freelance working mother. You find what works and then you do it. It leaves you with valuable skills. I would not give it up for anything. I hope you find some of the upcoming posts helpful. Feel free to comment and you can email me at frostmagazine at gmail.com

 

Diary of a Freelance Working Mother: On Busybodies

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working mother , parenting, writer, Catherine BalavageIt was Jean Paul Sartre who said that hell is other people, but he did not get it quite right. What he should have said was that hell is other people and their opinions. Now if they can keep those opinions to themselves then it is happiness all-round. I spend large parts of my day not pointing out to someone how much of a jerk they are. An underrated and valuable skill, but one that seems in short supply when you have a child. I am going to do my best to make sure this weeks column is not an all-out rant, but I am going to put out a plea: please stop telling me how to raise my child.

There is a woman in my local area who seems nice enough, yet since my son was about nine months has asked me almost every single time she has seen me why he is not in nursery. Answer: because he is TWO-YEARS OLD. I have tried to explain to her his age and my personal reasons, but each time I am met with a lecture. Because, god forbid, a woman might want to raise her own child, right? Ditto for the fact I also got a long lecture from her on how my son was too old to be in a pram. ‘You are spoiling him’ she said. Never mind the fact that I am pregnant and he had just turned two, no, make him walk along the busy road and have no rest. That is definitely the answer.

Things like this happen all of the time. Some people will just critique. Ask you if your child can do something (competitive parents, they are just the worst), criticise their clothes/nails/cleanliness/hair, or ask a barrage of questions while pulling faces and making comments. Another bugbear is the busybodies who interfere and always think they know best. It does not matter that their children grew up decades ago and they lived in a separate place than you, they will always know exactly what to do in regards to nurseries and schools, as well as where you should take your child. The passing of time means nothing. Everything they did with their child, you in turn must do, because they know best.

I find with busybodies there is a number of things to do. One is smile and nod. Always best with strangers. The second is smile and say you do not agree, or make a joke of it. The best is to ask them nicely and politely to not interfere. The latter is always better with family. They will not stop if you do not tell them their behaviour is unacceptable. They may not even change then, but, trust me, you will feel better. In the meantime keep your head up, work on your sense of humour as it is the only thing that will get you through, and always stand up for yourself.

Please share any similar experience below, or just add your own comments. I would love to know what you think.

 

The Diary of a Freelance Working Mother

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working mother, mother, working, freelance, blogger, mummy blogger, blogger, parenting blogger, blogger, writing, Hello Frost readers. Many of you will know me quite well, others will be be thinking, ‘Why is the woman being so arrogant to think that we know who she is?’ And you may have a point, so let me introduce myself properly: I am the editor and founder of Frost Magazine. I am also a writer, author, editor, filmmaker and actor. But above all of this I am a mother. Which is the hardest thing of all.

When I got pregnant I felt like I was in a good position as a freelancer. I could be a full time mother AND have a career. Sure it would be hard, but I was used to hard. It is hard not to laugh thinking about this now. Being a freelancer is hard, but the flexibility has always made it worth it for me. Looking back now I can see I was naive when I thought it would be easy. I did not realise just how hard being a mother would be. The funniest thing is that I breastfeed for over a year and I look back at those times when I had a breastfeeding newborn and think of them as the easy days because now I have a two-year-old. For all of those mothers who have babies, enjoy this time. Toddlers are really hard work. Even my sweet and loving son. I know others have it harder. Very much so.

I am going to start this as a column. I am heavily pregnant as I write this and I just want to share the craziness of life as a freelance working mother. The timing is not great. I will be trying my best to take a proper maternity leave and cut back on work. There will be days, weeks even, when I let myself just be a mother and not run myself into the ground. Something that I have been known to do a lot in the past. It has taken becoming a parent to realise that I am not invincible, That self care is important. So I will continue to write my books and run this online mag while I raise my children. But while I am doing that I am going to tell you about how I spend the days taking my son to toddler groups and playing lego, and then writing and answering emails in the evening. I will give you some tips on both parenting and work. I will share with you how I wrote my first fiction book. Spoiler alert: by walking my son around in his pram until he feel sleep and then banging out 2000 words a day on my iPhone. I will talk to you about the guilt and the stress. But most of all I will let you know that I have no regrets at the path I have taken. Being a mother is the best things that ever happened to me. Motherhood is hard and sometimes I feel I am not up to the task, and choosing to work (which I am fully aware is a privilege) gives me back my identity and my freedom. Writers write. So stay tuned. I hope you enjoy the journey.

 

MumsThread: On The Importance of Work When You Become a Mother

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working mothers, working mum, freelance, self employed, mothers, mumsthread, babies, feminism, sexism, Out of all of the truisms, few are more true as when you choose a job, you choose a lifestyle. This was never more true when I first became an actor many moons ago (at one point I had three survival jobs. A day one, an evening one and a weekend one), or when I had a corporate job that paid absurdly well, but made me unhappy because it felt like my creative soul was dying.

Now I have a child lifestyle is important. I have been self employed and freelance for about six years now. And it is wonderful and awful, easy and hard. The truth is: I have worked harder and had tougher work conditions as my own boss than in any other. Frequently not allowing myself breaks, chaining myself to my desk as I just churn the work out. But having my son last year resulted in changes. Mostly because I fell head over heels in love with him, and I will never be the same again. It has required sacrifices, and sometimes those sacrifices are that I get barely any work done at all. Those days are the toughest. I have turned down a lot of great opportunities and my acting career is on the back burner, but I know that the privilege of seeing my son grow up is bigger than anything else. It was always important to me that my son was raised by at least one of his parents. It’s not a judgment call, all power to nannies and nurseries. In fact, I wish I could afford a live-in nanny, or a night nanny. Oh what heaven that would be.

But what I didn’t bargain on was how much I love working. Even the worst job I had brought something good with it: money, a reason to get out of bed, meeting people, a sense of worth. I am not saying I want to go back to those awful jobs, but work gives you identity and freedom. It means you are contributing to society. All of these are things that are very important. Even more so when you have a child and otherwise you just feel like someone’s mother and someone’s wife. I am not slamming being a housewife. It is as valid a choice as any. But I know myself, I need to work, and times where I can’t fit my work in due to childcare/a sick child/ a problem with the flat leaves me with a void. I also believe that a woman needs something for herself, even if it is just a hobby. Women tend to sacrifice themselves and it is unhealthy. Not just for the mother, but all the family. I would love to share childcare 50/50 with my husband, but he works in finance and that is just not possible. So some days I will write an article on my iPhone in the playpen with the baby, I will work on my book as much as possible when the baby finally naps. It has taught me to work smarter, not harder. To be quicker. But the thing having a child has most taught me is quality of life. I no longer chain myself to my desk. I say no to things. Because I have something which gives me more joy than anything else: my son’s face. Even on my hardest day he gives me joy. He has taught me that life is more important than work. I would constantly burn myself out before he came along, now I know that I just have to do what I can and that I am enough. I should be proud of my achievements. On the flip side, I got irritated when a lot of people asked if I would still work after I had a baby, and when I see an article on “selfish” mothers going out to work. I mean, God forbid a women wants to have a career and professional fulfilment. Y’now, like men get to do. No one ever asked a man how he juggles work with having children. The other thing is money: how many households can really survive on one income?

Many women do not get to see their babies grow up. They have to go out and work. I can earn a living as a freelancer and that is a huge achievement. I know I have the best of both worlds, even if I have to bribe the baby with Disney cartoons while I work. It was Sheryl Sandberg who said there is no such thing as work/life balance. There is just life and work and there is no balance. She is a wise woman. As long as I am kind to myself and get everything done eventually I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

 

The Ultimate Guide To Becoming a Successful Blogger by Catherine Balavage Reviewed By Margaret Graham

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how to be a successful blogger, blogging, writing, working from home, Catherine Balavage, freelancing, money from writing, business, Catherine Balavage, Margaret Graham, Crikey- is it me, or is running a blog harder than it looks? by Margaret Graham

Read the: The Ultimate Guide To Becoming a Successful Blogger by Catherine Balavage and cut out the stress.

Catherine is the owner and editor of Frost Magazine, and I am her contributing editor. Working on a blog, or online magazine as I think of Frost, was a new addition for me, because my main thrust is as a bestselling author for Random House Publishers. (Arrow).

As the weeks, months, and soon – years –go by, I have learned a great deal from, and about, this extraordinarily generous and accomplished young woman. Not least is her amazing energy, not to mention her attention to detail. What’s more, she’s so polite, acknowledging and appreciating her writers for their submissions, whilst not taking her eye off the ball for a moment.

For a Luddite like me, The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Successful Blogger has been an eye-opener. It shows just how absolutely crucial it is to keep that eye glued on the ball, and includes numerous tips which would require a great deal of time and research to unearth on one’s own.

It’s a fascinating insight into just how much hard work and dedication, constant attention, and nurturing is needed. It put me in mind of running an enormous allotment, or nurturing a baby, or indeed a puppy – said from the heart as I introduce into the house a pal for Rosie our cockerpoo. None of these can be left for many minutes before things start to fall apart.

This book starts with basics, such as design, name and the benefits of blogging, through to the all important revenue streams, and how to determine what readers want, and so on.  It’s all here, accessible and essential, and written in Catherine’s unmistakable brisk but friendly style we have come to know so well. Just take your time, and let the expert take you by the hand, and save you zillions of hours of stop and start mistakes.

 

Bravo, a book that needed writing, a book about to take off into bestsellerdom.

The Ultimate Guide To Becoming a Successful Blogger is available here.

 

 

A Day In My Writing Life: Lynne Hackles

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I’m a busy writer, working under several different names. Here’s my typical day. Wake at 5am, do a thirty minutes run, thirty minutes housework and then sit and write until five in the afternoon. Some days I take a ten minute break for lunch.

And, if you believe that, you’ll believe anything.

Lynne Hackles

The truth is I get up when I feel like it. Some mornings I really do exercise. I stretch out my arms from under the duvet and clench and unclench my hands five times, then rotate the wrists five times.

Wearing my dressing gown, I stumble into the next room and switch on the computer, ready to start work. But I don’t. Start, I mean. I check emails, check my online horoscope, check Facebook, check my blog to see how many hits it’s had, then I do an online crossword, or two. I suppose I sort of creep up on work.

On my desk is an open notebook holding my To Do list. I’ll decide which job I am going to tackle, then set my kitchen timer for 25 minutes and while it ticks away I get stuck in and write. Once the alarm goes off I stop, get up and move. A few minutes later I start another 25 minute session. Moving regularly is necessary for me. I have a collection of lumbar discs in a jar so need to take care of my back.

Lately, my writing work seems to be mostly journalism and non-fiction stuff. There was a time when I churned out stories for women’s magazines but I’m having a rather long rest due to being all story-ed out. Some days I have student assignments to mark – I’ve been a tutor for Writers’ News Home Study for 20 years. (They keep ignoring my hints about a golden clock.) Other days I try to ‘push’ my work. Writers are expected to do more than their bit when it comes to publicising their books. Handy Hints for Writers is one of my latest but I’m still telling people about Writing From Life and I give talks about writing down personal experiences as well as going the whole hog and tackling life stories.

Lunch is taken whilst listening to Tim Wonnacott on Bargain Hunt. I reckon, by now, I must have earned a degree in Fine Art and Antiques.

Afternoons are for doing other things. The LSO (Long Suffering One) and I will be in the garden or, if the weather’s not good, we’ll be inside stripping wallpaper, painting cupboards and doing the 1001 things that are needed in order to finish renovating the house we moved into a year ago.

Most evenings I carry my laptop downstairs and, while the television is on in the background, I’ll answer emails and do the admin’ side of my writing job. Other evenings, like tonight, I go out to give a talk.

And then there’s the Sabbath which can be any day of the week but which is work-free. It’s a time to recharge the batteries and do something different. We are working our way through a long list of places to visit, people to see and things to do.

handyhintsforwriters racingstart writingfromlife

Racing Start – a Kindle best-seller. Fast paced cycling fiction for 8-12 yr olds
Kindle/Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Racing-Start-Lynne-Hackles-ebook/dp/B00HNFOM8G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389086256&sr=8-1&keywords=lynne+hackles+racing+start
Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/racing-start
iTunes/iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/racing-start/id785373782?mt=11
www.lynnehackles.com
www.lynnehackles.blogspot.com
Handy Hints for Writers – Compass Books
Writing From Life – How To Books
Ghostwriting – Aber Publishing

 

 

Brigid Hains On The Launch of Aeon | Interview

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Why did you set up Aeon?

Paul and I set up Aeon because we believed that we live at a point in history when people are questioning their own and their society’s values and beliefs, and in our view the only way to work through this is by having open conversation and debate about questions that matter deeply to people.

 

What is the main aim of Aeon?

To foster conversations about significant questions that go to the heart of contemporary dilemmas and interests: whether that be understanding the latest news about the Higgs Boson, wondering how we mark important moments in our lives, or thinking deeply about the meaning of work and leisure. Our topics range very widely, but our interests are unified by a particular ethos, or tone. We want Aeon to be a place that people visit, and spend time online, where they feel confident that each essay will be stimulating, and some will have the capacity to shift their perspectives altogether.

 

You have some brilliant essays coming up. Can you tell us about some of the highlights?

We have a wonderful lyrical essay on Bristlecone Pines – the world’s oldest living beings – and their prospects under climate change, by young science writer Ross Andersen. A searing memoir of life as a fostered adolescent and how a wild raccoon saved her sense of self by Lauren Slater, an award-winning essayist. A spirited defence of metaphor and inspiration by Jay Griffiths, author of the Wild; and a searching, deeply personal account of what it is like for Arab women facing the post-revolution world today by Amal Ghandour. A highly varied collection!

 

What do you think the most important news story this year has been?

In the spirit of our commitment to many perspectives, and the many qualities that make us human beings, I couldn’t say there has been one dominating story. Our desire is to get beyond the news and into the questions that lie behind the daily news cycle: from the lives of Arab women living through revolutions  to the consequences of climate change; questions of sexuality and gay rights in Uganda or the culture wars that are part of the US election.

 

How do you get your writers?

We do a huge amount of research and discussion within the editorial team. The initial point of contact varies: sometimes one of our editors will approach a writer they have worked with before; sometimes we cold-call somebody we’d love to have writing for us, and sometimes we are approached by writers who have something for us.

 

Describe a typical day.

Right now we are in the middle of launch so we have a great deal going on. The longer rhythms of commissioning essays and working with our writers to get the essays right goes on all the time. So every day we are in correspondence with writers, working on drafts, researching possible stories and researching pictures (which are very important to our highly visual site).

At the same time as this we meet every day to discuss the day to day management of the website, and the kinds of responses we have had to each essay. Every day we also connect to our social media communities, as well. If we are serious about conversation, we need to be agile and responsive to our readers as well as commissioning work that we believe in ourselves.

 

Tell us a bit about you

I’m originally trained as an environmental historian, and also have an academic background in anthropology. I’ve always had wide intellectual interests, especially in science, environment and historical topics. For a very long time Paul and I have both been interested in how ideas work in the world – both through people’s personal experiences and also through social action and wider discussion – so Aeon is very much an expression of that mutual interest. On a personal note, I’m Australian, I’ve been living in London for most of the past 6 years (I’ve also lived briefly in New York) and Paul and I have a daughter who is 11.

 

Aeon is an online magazine. Do you think print is dead?

Not at all! I love print, both in magazine and book form. However the digital space offers a fluidity and reach that cannot be matched in print for a new magazine like ours. As new devices come on the market, digital will be able to offer something closer and closer to the immersive reading of print. There are things that print still does very well – the ultimate balance between the two is hard to predict.

 

What is Aeon’s business model? How do you think you will make money?

Our business model is to spend the first year or so investing significantly in the magazine in order to build up a strong following or community of interested people – readers, writers, artists and photographers. Once we have established that reach we will start to build opportunities for generating revenue. We are not sure what forms these will take and are watching closely how other publications are doing so – from micro-payments for articles, to higher levels of service for subscribers, live events, and online fora.

 

What advice do you have for people who want to get into publishing?

I’m not sure that I have any particular advice for people who want to get into publishing – but for those who are interested in writing for a magazine like Aeon I can say: know you subject very well, and read deeply into it if that’s appropriate. Authentic personal experience married with significant technical or empirical knowledge is a powerful combination. Write often, but with discipline and seek advice and help with your writing. And approach us with a pitch if you think you have something that’s right for us!