Gransthread by Margaret Graham

So, what does Gran do with herself when she’s not (ho hum) pole dancing?

 

I was invited to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of the High Wycombe & District branch of the U3A at an extraordinary venue, St Katherine’s, Parmoor, Henley-on-Thames. This estate was once owned by the Knights Templar, and was probably a farmhouse, which over the years, like Topsy, has ‘growed’.

It has changed hands many times, and intriguingly King Zog and his family  arrived here in 1941 in exile from Albania, and on his departure, a few years later the Community of St. Katherine  of Alexandria, a High Anglican Religious Community took refuge here, after being bombed out of their home in Fulham during the war. At St Katherine’s they found  peace and tranquility for the next 51 years after which it became the  home of The Sue Ryder Prayer Fellowship.

 

Now it welcomes people from all walks of life and denominations for day and residential retreats, and a small permanent staff encourage St Katherine’s to be used for  meetings and celebrations.

 

So here we were, lunching in a paneled dining hall which has seen many extraordinary people: celebrating many more who are members of the U3A.

 

So what is the U3A?

 

The University of the Third Age (U3A) movement is a unique and exciting organisation which provides, through its regional U3As, life-enhancing and life-changing opportunities. Today’s retired and semi-retired are not quite ready to sit knitting in front of daytime television, if indeed, they ever were and the U3A facilitates our need to continue to develop our knowledge and expertise.

 

Within each regional U3A, members share their skills and life experiences by running classes in anything from creative writing, to exploring art, to archery, to – heaven knows what, perhaps even pole dancing.  What’s more, there is no charge beyond the annual fee, which amounts to VERY little.

Every month there is a speaker, to continue the University thread. There are day trips, and holidays, the most recent to Tuscany.

 

So, this is one of the things Gran does, and Gramps too probably. But this is just a tiny bit of a grandparent’s life. Some of us work, still. But more about that next time, because retirement ain’t what it used to be. We grans and gramps still have miles to go, and promises to keep… to quote Robert Frost.

 

The U3A movement is supported by its national organisation, the Third Age Trust.

 

http://u3asites.org.uk/highwycombe/welcome
http://www.u3a.org.uk

 

St Katherine’s, Parmoor, Henley-on-Thames http://www.srpf.org.uk

 

 

Breaking news – Granny Power reigns By Margaret Graham

 

Today we begin our Gransthread, a column which will be a regular feature on Frost from now on.  So let’s start with what comprises the stupid selfish old biddies as someone recently labeled grannies.

 

We might have been born during the 2nd World War in which our parents fought, or during austerity – with rationing lasting until the mid 50s. As children we were always hungry as the country determined to get back on its feet and begin recovery after our efforts to defend our essential sovereignty and democracy.

 

At school we were often taught by spinsters who had lost their men in the first or second world war. At home and at school we were taught to put ‘self’ to the rear and make sure that others were alright.

 

We lived beneath the cloud of the cold war and Armageddon, and some husbands were there, deep in the sea or up in the sky, defending us all over again.
We screamed at Beatles concerts. The pill arrived, along with the hippy revolution. We wore flowers in our hair, and kaftans, and loved wisely we thought, but probably not. We debated politics, and were always aware of world affairs.

 

We endured the IRA bombing campaign. We saved for things we needed because credit cards – ‘take the waiting out of wanting’ had not yet arrived. We wives couldn’t access our joint bank accounts into which our salaries went, without a letter from our husbands, even as late as the end of the 60s.

 

In a referendum in 1975 the UK electorate voted to stay in the EEC under renegotiated terms of entry. We trotted through Heath’s 3 day week,

 

We set up house. We sewed and knitted, because it was cheaper to make our children’s clothes. Some of us worked, or helped out with the childcare of our friends. We began to understand our parents as people, because we were tackling a changing world as indeed they had and were. We listened to their advice.

 

We became grandparents, and wondered about social media, its benefits and anonymous bullying. We resumed childcare, this time for our grandchildren, and parent care, for our own parents.  We downsized to help with children’s house   deposits, we handed over interest free loans.

 

We kept fit, ran marathons, set up and ran charities. Many of us continue to work, but as well we volunteer: charity shops, drop in centres. We keep helping, even when our 87 year old colleague is punched in the face by an irate shoplifter. We mop up the changing rooms which have, yet again,  been used as latrines.

 

We realize we have become invisible through age, as people in streets expect us to move to accommodate their passage. We are learning to stand our ground.

 

We used to stand on crowded trains while younger people sat but we increasingly force our way past spread legs to claim a seat.

 

We continue to follow politics. We respect the opinions of others, and expect that ours will be respected in turn.

 

And, most importantly, we laugh, and eat cake, or have a glass with our friends even when we our waists tell us we shouldn’t. We have dogs we walk, and make full use of our bus passes while we have them. We live every day to the full.

 

Grannies of all ages, and some are very young, are people. We are as difficult, as pleasant, and as inspiring as everyone else, plus we have with a distillation of experience which could be termed wisdom.

 

What’s more, we’ve reached the age where we feel we’ve earned our place in the world, so we’re not moving over just so others can diminish or walk through us.

 

Flower power? Forget it. Granny power reigns.

 

* We will be featuring Gransthread lives and thoughts and memories as the months go by. If you have any that you would like to share, Frost Magazine would love to hear from you:   frost@margaret-graham.com

 

 

The WforW Grannies Raise More Money…

Photographs: Kate Pain

The WforW grannies raise more money…  mca

‘OK, let’s get down and dirty, then.’ The decision was made. We’d do the military assault course Mud Challenge at www.actiondaysout.co.uk to round off charity Words for the Wounded’s 2015 fundraising activities.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  1begins

We? Margaret Graham, Jan Speedie and Penny Deacon, are the grannies who run Words for the Wounded. We choose to conduct strategy meetings at The Wellington on the Strand, and decisions seem so easy over the second glass of wine. ‘Yes, there’ll be a bit of mud. Yes, we’ll get the families involved. Yes, it’ll be a bit of fun – and easy peasy.’

The WforW grannies raise more money…  2upandoverbarrier

Easy peasy? For goodness sake.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  3poledance

On the whole our charity, Words for the Wounded, raises funds by offering opportunities to readers and writers: the annual Independent Author Book Award, the LitFest Day. But we also like to do something different. Last year was the sky dive, this year MUD.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  4 The WforW grannies raise more money…  5a

With our long-suffering children and grand-children on the team we met up at Action Days Out, Henfold Lakes, Dorking, in the rain. Ah well. Ian and Callum Marshall briefed us, which is when ‘easy’ and ‘The Wellington’ seemed a million miles away, and teamwork was emphasized as crucial to the escapade. Off we trooped, to the warm up obstacles.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  5

Ho hum. Warm up, indeed. Then it was 1,2,3, and off we went. Mud? Oh yes. Water? Oh yes? Small obstacles? Oh no. BIG obstacles.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  6

Ian and Callum were there all the way, (on the bank). We ranged in age 11 to 70, and everyone helped everyone else. Was it like one great mudlark? Not exactly, one has to say, in fact, just feeling a little faint at the memory.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  7

I found dragging my feet out of the mud was half the battle, but there was the other half of the battle looming as I tried to find somewhere to put the foot that would actually help me hoof up the bank. Frequently it was on some poor soul’s knee. But then I took the weight of a few so all is fair in a  mudbath.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  8

So, easy? NO. Fun? Oh yes. I haven’t laughed so much for years, even when Ian asked us to link arms and run across the next few inches of water, which we did. It was actually several feet deep. Then there was crawling through water beneath barbed wire, throwing ourselves through tyres (frantic searching to find one big enough for my bum – oh, the humiliation had I stuck)

The WforW grannies raise more money…  10

Finally the end, and yes, you guessed it: debrief over lunch at a pub down the road, The Royal Oak Stonebridge. Adrian and Beverley Waterworth looked after us like troopers. Try it.

A success? Fantastic day, a great team, we all know one another far too well, having trodden/thrown, tugged one another into and out of obstacles. We surely must have soft skin from the all- over mudpack.

The WforW grannies raise more money…  12

Action Days Out – Ian and Callum are a great team. Boris, Callum’s 5 month old Norfolk Terrier came round with him, and found a false boob from the previous day’s Stag Mud Challenge. Yes, indeed, Stag and Hen parties do it here too. Crikey. It’s fun, give it a whirl, but be prepared to throw your clothes away afterwards. Of course, we’re all looking at Norfolk terrier puppies now.

£1750 raised so far. Remember every penny Words for the Wounded raises goes to where it should, as the grannies absorb all costs. If you fancy helping the wounded. Go to:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/granniesmudchallenge

www.wordsforthewounded.co.uk

www.actiondaysout.co.uk

Facebook: royaloakstonebridgedorking