Tag Archives: happiness

The Importance of Happiness by Andrew Stead

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Angelina Jolie has breasts removed. Our well-being is the most important thing in life but most of us neglect it – we can all do more to live well and make our lives happier. But the overload of knowledge and choice means that keeping up with ourselves, never mind the Joneses, has got a lot harder than it used to be. One step forward, two steps back. And we end up reacting to the world around us rather than designing a life that really matters. But the great news is that the latest scientific evidence is here to help.

 

And Your Daily Bread is a new organisation established to translate this new knowledge into tools and practical experience to help people maximise their life experience and happiness. They design healthy, positive and fulfilling lives, through practical, regular, bite-size chunks, or ‘Slices’.

 

These days most of us are well versed in the tools of our trade, but not in the tools of life. We are well educated at school and university and start our professional lives learning the skills and practices we need for our job. But we educate and develop ourselves in the techniques of our trade, at the expense of the techniques of life.

 

And the consequences of this disparity, this dislocation, this dis-ease, between our technical skills and our life skills are real and serious and heavily supported by scientific evidence.

 

We might start to feel isolated, lose our focus and concentration.  We suffer the irony of information overload while lacking certain knowledge that is truly valuable.  Physically we might feel tired, low-energy or just out of shape. Emotionally we get anxious, upset or even angry. Our relationships start to suffer – we have no time for our family or friends, no time for ourselves. And professionally, we’re working way too hard getting worn out, stressed out or even burned out. And we end up feeling disconnected, disheartened or desperate. Lacking any purpose or meaning, left wandering: “What’s it all about?” Our great hopes for the future, our legacy, our vision beyond our grave are broken dreams.

 

So Your Daily Bread provides people with new knowledge and techniques to get them re-energised, re-ignited, re-balanced. They’re on a mission to improve people’s daily life.

 

They run workshops, events and courses that demonstrate the science, tools and practical help they need to transform their life from imbalance to balance.

 

And people find the workshops and programmes are pretty impactful, talking of being more positive and productive, more energised and healthy, achieving greater balance and serenity, becoming a better communicator and being able to maximise those key life relationships; and of course, improving career prospects and earnings.

 

 

For more information of the June 16th ‘What Price Your Happiness’ event, showcasing 5 Global Experts sharing their best knowledge and techniques, visit www.your-daily-bread.co.uk/S4L

 

Jaywalking, loonies, bringing a plate and spondoolies – knowing the local lingo before immigrating is key

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sceneryIf you can’t tell your Australian pink lady from your Canadian loonie then you may need some assistance if you are planning on emigrating.

 

With The Organisation for Economic Co–operation and Development (OECD) revealing that Australia has topped the index of national wellbeing for the happiest countries in the world and the best places to live and work, followed closely by Sweden and Canada, and the latest Global Visas report highlighting Canada (27 per cent) and Australia (22 per cent) as the top two destinations people wish to move to, the demand for cultural information is on the increase.

 

When immigrating to a new country, it is helpful to become clued up on the local lingo, laws and cultural aspects of the country to which you are destined to feel at home more quickly.  For example, a very common mistake made by foreigners to Australia is being invited over for dinner and being asked to ‘bring a plate’ which doesn’t mean digging out your best Royal Doulton dinnerware but bringing a dish of food to share with your host and other guests. Or in Canada you could be fined $400 for simply crossing the road, as jaywalking, (crossing the road without using a pedestrian crossing) is tightly regulated and leads to on-the-spot fines.

 

Out of a total of 257,398 requests for immigration solutions (excluding tourist visas) in Q1 of 2013, Global Visas, a UK business that provides people worldwide with international visa, relocation and immigration services, found that a growing number of people were asking for country-specific information.  As a result, it is launching a series of ‘Global Visas Destination Guides’, launching with Canada, on everything clients need to know about moving to the country including visas and permits, working, budgeting, housing, studying, healthcare and laws.                                                                 …/

Gary Smith, global sales and marketing director at Global Visas, says, “There is a lot you need to know and be prepared for before emigrating to another country, and familiarising yourself with common phrases will certainly steer you away from embarrassing conversations or offending locals. However, first priorities will include setting up home and settling into a new job in your unfamiliar surroundings. Our new handy destination guides help prepare clients for the change in lifestyle, allocating your budget, understanding work arrangements and getting to know the country a little more. It is very important to be clued up on the laws and culture of your new home to ensure you know exactly what to expect.”

 

Victoria Blackman, a New Zealander who immigrated to the UK, comments: “When I first arrived I found it difficult as an English speaking foreigner to understand the British language. I couldn’t get my head around why people kept asking me if I was alright (‘you alright?’) I didn’t know how to reply. Was this a question? Did they think I looked sick? To my surprise they were saying ‘hello, how are you?’. I also found myself in embarrassing and awkward situations when I commented on people’s pants which are not underwear where I come from! I’m still learning daily and recently was informed that an ‘ice lolly’ is what I refer to as an ‘ice block’ or an ‘ice cream’ on a stick.”

Have you seen… Happiness?

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In the first instalment of a new series of articles highlighting films that have you might have missed, Charles Rivington tackles Todd Solondz’s controversial 1998 ensemble piece, Happiness.

 I want to start by stating quite simply that Todd Solondz’s Happiness is not for everyone. It seems odd to say this given that I am meant to be encouraging you to watch it but I feel compelled to tell you that there is a good chance that you will hate Happiness. I have shown Happiness to a large number of friends and while half of them

       

Philip Seymour Hoffman and Lara Flynn Boyle form an unlikely bond in Happiness

have loved it and raved about it (never the ones you expect), the other half have branded it ‘tasteless’, ‘disgusting’ and ‘immoral’.  These people aren’t bible-bashers or Daily Mail readers either, they are well rounded and open-minded and yet they still take moral umbrage with this film. To be honest it’s not hard to see where they are coming from. Happiness presents us with a veritable smorgasbord of deviant and disturbing behaviour: sexual abuse, suicide, murder, masturbation, dismemberment and, most prominently and most upsettingly, child rape. And yet it if you can cope with these issues being discussed and alluded to in a film (for the most part they occur mercifully off-screen), Happiness is a brutally funny, unexpectedly moving and thoroughly rewarding experience.

 

The structure of Happiness is clearly inspired by Chekhov’s Three Sisters (also the inspiration for  Woody Allen’s brilliant, Hannah and Sisters which may well be the subject of a future ‘Have you seen…’). Happiness centres around three adult sisters, their families and neighbours who all live in a nightmarish version of New Jersey that would  even make a ‘real housewife’ rather uncomfortable. Trish (Cynthia Stevenson), the eldest sister is a smug suburban housewife and mother whose psychiatrist husband, Bill (a spellbinding turn from Dylan Baker) has developed a secret obsession with his eleven-year-old son’s classmate. Helen (Lara Flynn Boyle) is a famous poet who has become disillusioned with her success, leading her to fantasise about being raped. The youngest daughter, the ironically named Joy (a charmingly pathetic Jane Adams) is a meek, dormouse of a woman whose love life and singing career are equally as dead in the water, eliciting the smug sympathy of her more successful siblings. Rounding out the cast are Louise Lasser and Ben Gazarra as the sisters’ divorcing parents, Camryn Manheim as an overweight woman who ‘hates sex’ and a pre-fame Philip Seymour Hoffman delivering a hilariously repugnant performance as Helen’s lonely and sexually deviant neighbour.

 

While outlining the film’s plot above in such a perfunctory manner suggests that Solondz is merely attempting to provoke shock for the sake of shock (and there is clearly an element of this), Happiness’s success lies in its handling of these controversial issues and horrifically flawed characters, not only with blistering humour, but also with alarming sensitivity, compassion even . The is most striking in Dylan Baker’s masterful performance as Bill, a child rapist and the centre of the film’s most controversial and disturbing plot strand. While Bill’s actions in the film are despicable and calculated and I’d be loathe to go as far as to describe him as sympathetic, Solondz’s writing and Baker’s performance at the very least present Bill as being unquestionably human. His humanity is most apparent in a quiet yet pivotal scene  in which Bill confesses his crimes to his young son, Billy (Rufus Reed). The conversation between father and son is both deeply unpleasant and very moving; despite his heinous acts it is clear that Bill loves Billy and can’t bring himself to lie to him. It’s an unbearably painful moment that will sear itself onto your memory and stay with you long after the film is over.

 

Despite it’s disturbing themes, Solondz also manages to mine a large amount of pitch black humour from the material (Happiness is essentially a comedy, albeit a very dark one) and much of the film is laugh-out-loud hilarious and irresistibly quotable; a personal favourite being the sophisticated Helen insisting to her younger sister that “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you” to which Jane Adam’s Joy, her eyes wide and watery, meekly replies, “but I’m not laughing”.  Solondz’s cruel sense of humour is apparent right

Jane Adams looking pensive in Happiness

from the off in the film’s fantastic opening scene which depicts a horribly uncomfortable dinner date between the pathetic Joy and her even more pathetic, soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend Andy (Jon Lovitz in a hilarious cameo). This remarkable scene is pretty much self-contained (it feels like a short play) and serves to lull the audience into a false sense of security, deliberately wrong-footing us so that we are ill-prepared for the horrors that await. Even if you don’t feel compelled to watch the film, I would recommend tracking down this one scene as it is very funny.

 

So there you have it: Happiness, a disturbing, disgusting and hilarious portrait of the dark side of human nature. Whether you immediately add it to your Lovefilm queue or you roll your eyes and close this browser window in disgust is entirely up to you. Happiness is not for everyone and maybe it’s not for you but even if its not can we please all take a minute and appreciate what a good thing that is. In a world where big studios spend all their time and energy chasing the broadest demographics and dumbing movies down in the process, I think we should all be grateful when a film comes along that isn’t ‘fun for all the family’, isn’t patronising, doesn’t talk down to us, is aimed solely at adults and, most importantly, doesn’t have ‘something for everyone’. Thank you Todd Solondz. Thank you Happiness.

Watch the (somewhat misleading) trailer for Happiness here:

Happiness Trailer

And the opening scene:

Happiness Opening

GURU THAT INSPIRED DAVID CAMERON’S HAPPINESSS INDEX TURNS HIS BACK ON ‘HAPPINESS’

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH MARTIN SELIGMAN IN PSYCHOLOGIES NOW QUESTIONS THE ‘HAPPINESS INDEX’ AND HAPPINESS MOVEMENT


This month the Government will interview 200,000 families across the UK in an attempt to gauge how happy we are as a nation.

David Cameron has already attracted a barrage of criticism for the idea. Now, one of the men who originally inspired the happiness movement has dubbed much of the world’s focus on feeling good as nothing more than ‘happyology’.

American happiness guru Martin Seligman, who invented the whole concept of ‘positive psychology’, has now admitted in an interview in this month’s (May issue out Today – 6th April) Psychologies magazine that he now believes people want more in life than mere happiness.

“What humans want is not just happiness. They want justice, they want meaning. An interesting example is that there’s quite a bit of evidence that people’s mood isn’t as good once they have children. If that’s all people were interested in, we should have been extinguished a long time ago.’

Despite writing internationally renowned books, ‘Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realise Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment’ and ‘Can Happiness be Taught?’,  Seligman now believes that the word ‘happiness’ has become so overused that it has becoming meaningless.

‘The word happiness always bothered me, partly because it was scientifically unwieldy and meant a lot of different things to different people, and also because it’s subjective.’

Instead, he suggests we focus on ‘flourishing’, his big new idea that encompases a wider definition of feeling good. In the interview he also addresses the issue of whether
governments could be doing more harm than good by measuring the mood of their populations, particularly with the forthcoming ‘Happiness Index’.

Oxfam + Maths Expert = Formula for a Happy Christmas!

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7,000 calories, three weeks off work, 15cm of snow and no more than 10 hours of shopping. These are four of the factors that make Christmas perfect according to Oxfam Unwrapped, the charity’s gift range, which has teamed up with maths expert Chris Green today to unveil its formula for a happy Christmas.

The full mathematical formula looks like this (click to enlarge):

Rick Lay, Oxfam Unwrapped campaign manager, said: “Christmas is the busiest time for Oxfam Unwrapped. Around 80% of the money we raise is given over the festive period, so we were really keen to find out what makes people happy at this time of year; what makes a perfect Christmas.

“It’s great to see that ultimately, happiness at Christmas comes down to quite simple things, such as enjoying time off work to spend with friends and family.”

Key ‘happiness factors’ include:

  • Number of calories consumed on Christmas Day (any more than 7,000 calories and you’ll be too stuffed to enjoy yourself)
  • Amount of time off work (just one day off boosts happiness by 70%, with three weeks being the optimum amount)
  • Centimetres of snow (15cm is ideal)
  • Family arguments (more than five and happiness levels plummet)
  • Number of hours spent trawling the shops for gifts (any more than 10 hours and shopping-induced stress sees happiness decline rapidly)
  • Miles driven to see friends and family (0 miles is ideal, with 500 miles generating a 40% reduction in happiness levels)
  • The number of gifts you receive has an impact on happiness (6 gifts gets you to optimum happiness levels), but….
  • ….most crucially, how many gifts you give (even giving just one present makes a huge difference to happiness levels, increasing Christmas enjoyment by 50%).

Chris Green, the mathematician who compiled the formula for Oxfam, adds:

“We conducted research into some of the key factors that people associate with Christmas and calculated optimum scores for each factor.”

What’s your score? For any like-minded boffins out there who want to work out the formula for themselves, this is what your scores mean:

< 50% Roll on January!
50 – 60% Frosty the snowman
61 – 70% Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
71 – 80% You’ll be rockin’ around the Christmas tree
> 80% You wish it could be Christmas every day

“The good news is that most factors that impact on Christmas happiness are well within our control. Also, despite a lot of people thinking that Christmas is overly materialistic these days, as the formula shows, these types of things aren’t that significant.

“Most people will score between 50 – 100%, any less than 50% and it’s a case of ‘roll on January’!”

Rick Lay adds: “With the act of giving gifts topping the happiness factors, we hope that it will make people realise that Christmas is a time they can make a real difference to the happiness of others. A gift from the Oxfam Unwrapped range will not only make friends and family smile more, it will change the lives of people living in poverty all over the world.  Surely that’s got to mean a happier Christmas all around.”

Alain De Botton on Philosophy, happiness and writing.

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One of my favourite authors is Alain De Botton. As well as being an amazing writer, Alain is also a very nice person. So when I asked him for an interview I was delighted when he said yes.

1) The first book I read of yours was The Consolations of Philosophy. A friend lent it to me. The book changed my life. I put quotes from it all over my diary. How important do you think Philosophy is to our everyday life?

I’m delighted you enjoyed the book. I think that one shouldn’t look at Philosophy as just one thing. After all, one wouldn’t say one loved Literature: it’s always particular books and authors that can touch us. So my own attachments in philosophy are to certain thinkers like Epicurus or Nietzsche or Montaigne. They are by no means mainstream and are often considered to be ‘not real philosophers’ by academics, because they address quite practical questions and don’t argue their points as precisely and logically as they might. They are good writers first and foremost, and good psychologists – but not necessarily philosophers in the way that David Hume was.

To answer your question, with the right philosopher (like Montaigne), philosophy can be of incredible importance to life. It helps to illuminate was is confused and expands your horizons. It can literally save your life, that’s the way that the philosophers of Ancient Greece and Rome understood philosophy and I have a lot of sympathy for this therapeutic approach.

2) What is your writing schedule?

I keep to office hours – though can’t work all day, so waste time online and looking out of the window. I am in a constant battle to be more productive, and feel eternally guilty.

3) Do you find it easy to write?

I find it very hard to think properly – which for me is what it means to ‘write well’. It’s so easy to get one’s thoughts tangled and not say the most important things, or at least not say them crisply enough. So I feel very tortured indeed as a writer, and often wish that I were something else (an airline pilot or the manager of a hotel).

4) What do you consider your greatest achievement in life?

Bringing up 2 small lovely boys. Everything else pales in comparison.

5) What is your background?

I was born in Switzerland where I lived till I was 12, at which point I switched languages (from French to English) and moved to the UK. My parents are Jewish, and I’d identify myself as a secular jew.

6) Do we deserve to be happy?

Most of us yes, but we’d also better be ready for a lot of pain. Modern society prepares us for a lot of happiness, it seems inconceivable that we wouldn’t have a good marriage, find a good job and never die – and yet these expectations are on the optimistic side.

7) Who is your favourite writer?

I’m very fond of Marcel Proust, about whom I wrote a book, How Proust can change your Life. I admire his sincerity, his clarity, his simplicity, his courage to say the important things.

8 ) When are you most happy?

Just after finishing an important difficult piece of work. The feeling lasts 10 minutes max.

9) You recently wrote, The Art of Travel. What was the thinking behind it?

For most of us, when we think of how to be happy, we think of one (or all of) three things: falling in love, finding satisfaction at work and going travelling. Travelling can form some of our greatest fantasies: we lie in bed reading a travel supplement, looking at pictures of faraway places (London/Honolulu/Paris/Naples/Sydney/Bali) and think, ‘Here I could be happy!’

But the reality of travel seldom matches our daydreams. The tragi-comic disappointments are well-known: the disorientation, the mid-afternoon despair, the lethargy before ancient ruins. And yet the reasons behind such disappointments are rarely explored. We are inundated with advice on where to travel to; we hear little of why we should go and how we could be more fulfilled doing so.

The Art of Travel is an attempt to tackle the curious business of travelling – why do we do it? What are we trying to get out of it? In a series of essays, I write about airports, landscapes, museums, holiday romances, photographs, exotic carpets and the contents of hotel mini-bars. I mix my own thoughts about travel with those of some great figures of the past: Edward Hopper, Baudelaire, Wordsworth, Van Gogh and Ruskin among them.          The result is a work which, unlike existing guidebooks on travel, actually asks what the point of travel might be – and modestly suggests how we could learn to be happier on our journeys.

10 ) My friend, is a Buddhist. She said this wonderful quote to me; ‘ When does the suffering end? When you want it to.’ Do you agree?

I’m very sympathetic to the idea that one could be in total control of one’s life, that one could – simply through an effort of thought – change everything. And yet I’m also realistic enough to know that we are not in command of our minds in a total way, and that suffering is an intrinsic part of life. Your friend is also being a little casual with her Buddhism. Buddhists do believe that there are a few exalted ‘saints’ like the Buddha himself who can overcome suffering. But it adds that they only come along once every hundred years or so and only overcome their desires and drives through an immense daily effort of the will.

To purchase Alain’s books go here; http://www.amazon.com/Alain-de-Botton/e/B000AQW38G/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1276079458&sr=1-2-ent