Choosing to build a family using egg donation requires careful consideration.
Egg donation can be a wonderful option, but you will need to take the time to explore the many complex issues and feelings involved in selecting a donor. The characteristics you desire in a donor will be unique to you and based on your personal preferences, and while there is no right or wrong way to go about the selection process, you may wish to keep the following factors in mind.
Anonymous Vs Known donors
The first decision you will need to consider is whether you want your egg to come from an anonymous or known donor.
An anonymous egg donor is a donor found through an egg donor database. Such a donor will have chosen not to reveal their identity to you. Using an anonymous donor will enable you to clearly define your relationship with the donor and will grant you the chance to source a donated egg in confidence.
However, if you choose to tell your child that they were the product of an egg donation, they will be able to use the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) register to find out identifying information such as the donor’s name, address and date of birth once they turn 16. A known egg donor, on the other hand, is a donor who has chosen to reveal their identity to you. For example, she may be a friend or relative, or someone you have found through an online connection service. You may prefer to use a known donor because you will provide your child with the opportunity to form a relationship your egg donor. However, you may find it difficult to define the donor’s role in your child’s life.
Physical Characteristics
One of the most important considerations to make when choosing a donor is whether your chosen donor’s physical appearance is similar to your own. If you and your partner have brown eyes and dark hair, then finding those qualities in an egg donor may be of the utmost importance to you. This is why in many cases couple’s will contact a family member so that the child will have genetic qualities of the woman.
Medical History
When reviewing your shortlisted egg donor profiles, it is essential to evaluate their past and present history of physical and mental illnesses.
You will also need to consider whether you wish to match the blood type of your donor with your own. If you chose a donor with the same blood type, you will be able to donate blood to your child should the need ever arise.
Personality
In addition to providing you with information on donors’ physical traits and medical histories, fertility clinics can also help you to gain an insight into donors’ personalities and backgrounds.
Whilst you should read this information with care and choose a donor based on the traits and characteristics that are important to you, it is essential to remember that the way in which you bring up your child may have a greater influence on their personality than the genes they have inherited from your chosen donor.
Of course, if you use a known donor you have a chance to meet them personally and get a feel for their characteristics up close.
Location
Once you have narrowed down your search for a donor, location may become an important consideration. If you intend to involve the donor in your child’s life, you may wish to choose a donor from your locality for ease of travelling to meet with the donor. This will also help throughout the process of trying to get pregnant if your donor is nearby.
Where To Look For The Right Donor
Egg donations are available on the NHS and through private clinics. The Human Fertilisation Embryology Authority (HFEA), which licenses clinics, recommends that you take into account location and success rates when choosing a suitable clinic.
It is important to realise, however, that the waiting lists for egg donation vary widely, and many opt to use online connection services to meet and get to know an egg donor before beginning the IVF process. Choosing the right donor is a big decision that requires careful thought and consideration. Whilst it is perfectly acceptable to prioritise the characteristics that are important to you, it is important to trust your intuition, too. Your maternal instincts should play a key role in the process and they will help you to find a donor who will provide you with the child you have always wanted.
Author bio:
This post was written by Franz SOF, Founder at CoParents.co.uk – a service which aims to connect men, women and couples who are looking to have a child through co-parenting, sperm donation and surrogacy.