Lying about your age can cause problems, especially if you’re no good at maths and lying doesn’t come naturally. At the age of fifty-six, and thinking about the Big Six-0, I decided to knock ten years off my age. When my daughter was informed, she said she’d knock ten years off too, making her twenty-six. My grandson looked up in horror. He was better at maths than me and declared, ‘But that would make me minus one. I don’t want to be minus one.’
We decided dropping ten years was not such a good idea so why did I do it again when approaching a publisher? The submission form asked for date of birth. I hovered over the keyboard before typing in 6.2.1960. My thought was that the publisher would think I had more mileage in me.
I’d been selling my writing for over forty years by then.
When asked what I’ve written it’s easier to respond with, ‘I’ve not covered poetry or pornography.’ I’ve written rude greeting cards, silly advertisements, flirted with journalism, sold articles and interviews, had hundreds of short stories published, a children’s book and several non-fiction books. I’ve also been a ghostwriter.
It wasn’t until the first lockdown that I decided it was time to get a novel published. There was an unpublished one, written around the turn of the century but it had never found a home. I dug it out, read it, and could see why. I had twenty more years of experience so set out to do a rewrite.
That was in 2020. I was 70 years old and ready to prove that you are never too old to have a new dream.
In 2023, Gail Lockwood and Her Imaginary Agony Aunt was published by Cahill Davis Publishing. Now the follow-up to that, Dilys Lloyd’s Dilemmas is out. If there was such a genre they would be classed as ‘mature romantic-comedy’.
The books have working class characters, the important ones all being over fifty. They have problems with jobs, weight, and lack of love lives, but they work hard, remain cheerful most of the time, have adventures and hide in Fred’s Fries for a decent meal when they come out of Flabfighters after being weighed.
My publisher arranged an interview for me with a media company. I was delighted and apprehensive. I’d interviewed many people during my time working for a local newspaper and one of the first questions asked is, ‘How old are you?’
That’s what happened with the media company. ‘I’m sixty-three,’ I lied and, once that hurdle was over, went on to discuss my debut novel and my life. Then came the question that tripped me up. ‘How long have you been married?’
I wasn’t expecting it. Out slipped the truth. ‘Fifty-six years,’ I said.
‘Married at seven?’ My interviewer was more than surprised.
I came clean. Then confessed to my publisher who was lovely, telling me that older people have more experience and therefore their writing is richer. Phew!
I am never going to lie again.
Gail Lockwood and Her Imaginary Agony Aunt is available now and Dilys Lloyd’s Dilemmas is here.
