Tag Archives: mothers

mush – a new app that brings mums together

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Becoming a mother can be incredibly isolating. Which is why Frost got very excited to hear about mush, a free app that lets mothers find each other. It is basically Tinder for mums.

mush is a new free app for mums that was born out of the difficulty its two founders had after having their second babies. Katie was fresh back from New York and Sarah had beaten her other mum friends to a second baby. They awkwardly exchanged numbers in a cold playground on their first chance meeting. Both of them needed to find someone to share those difficult days at home with small children, and felt that the serendipitous approach to making mum friends was just not good enough in 2016 in a world that was so well serviced with other ‘dating’ apps. mush has been described as Tinder meets mother’s group and matches mums according to their location, kids’ ages and mutual friends.

 

The mush app has three core functions:

 

  • Mushmatcher – to find mums based on an algorithm of kids’ ages, location and mutual friends
  • Let’s mush- to plan events with mums and organise your mummy diary, seeing who is free to play right now
  • Mushguides – content written by mum for mums, to inspire mums to make their lives easier and have more fun

 

mush will show which of your connections are free right now, based on the insight that it’s hard to plan ahead with small kids. It will also allow you to create groups of mums for messaging and support as well as having a content hub designed to give practical and positive information to parents and parents-to-be.

 

mush has received backing from a number of private investors and a social impact fund and is available to download from the app store and google play.

 

A survey of 4000 mums showed the following:

  • half of mums find it hard to plan with kids
  • 80% of mums prefer to go to playgroup with a friend
  • 22% mums only have one local mum friend (62% have 4 or less local mum friends)
  • half go to the shops primarily for adult interraction
  • half find it hard to make local mum friends
  • 60% of mums go a full day without adult interaction
  • 82% of mums thinks having mum friends makes you a happier. more positive mum

 

Find out more at www.letsmush.com.

 

More about the founders.

 

Katie Massie-Taylor, 33, Mortlake, London

Katie was an equity derivatives broker in the City having graduated from Bristol University in BA Hons Spanish. She was one of  8 female brokers on a thousand-strong male trading floor, so learnt pretty early that she needed to hustle for her business wins (though not literally, that would be illegal). She joined a currency trading start-up as her first foray into the entrepreneur world, then tried a number of other industries when she tired of the busy City entertaining circus. She worked in a PR agency, a member network subscription service and most recently as a matchmaker in New York for high end clients looking for love.  Mush is an amalgamation of all of her previous skills, having always known she would end up with a business of her own.

She met her husband aged 13 (her brother’s best friend) and got married in 2011. Simon is Commercial Director at England RFU. She has two little girls Tilly, 3 and Lyla, 1. They have lived around South West London and in New York. It was her experience of moving twice with babies that made her realise the world was crying out for mush.

Sarah Hesz, 34, East Sheen, London

Sarah’s experience is from the world of advertising where she led business development and worked with global brands spanning the likes of Unilever and Dell. She has always dreamed of having a start up and previously launched an award-winning marketing agency. She has two kids (Rosie, 3 and Leo,1).

 

How they met

Sarah & Katie met in a playground on a cold and rainy day. They had 2 week old babies strapped to their fronts and sub-2 year olds hanging precariously from climbing frames. Katie was close to tears having moved back from New York, and Sarah was mateless in Mortlake having had babies in quick succession. Sarah approached Katie and asked for her number, with no preamble, which she jokes is the only chat-up line she has ever used. They kept each other sane for the weeks and months that followed, having realised they had facebook friends in common, lived three streets away and had kids of identical ages. Over one celebratory tea time eating pizza and drinking prosecco (celebrating their survival of that ‘fourth trimester’) they talked about the dream of setting up a company together and both landed on the loneliness issue they had experienced.. Mush was born. And then began the adventure.

Working around ad hoc childcare, the first few months were a blur of last minute meetings, breastfeeding and business plans. They secured funding a year after that celebratory tea, and launched in April 2016.

 

The mush start-up story

Mush is the lovechild of Sarah & Katie’s vision that no mum does it alone. They raised money (250k GBP) pre- product from various angel investors (only a few of whom they knew before the journey began- read they kissed a lot of frogs!) with their passion and their pitch deck. One institutional seed investor was Mustard Seed Social Impact, who focusses on companies who do social good.

 

Their app was developed in the Ukraine, and launched in April, and the app got immediate take up locally in SW London from a few flyers and posters in playgrounds. The majority of the 25,000 mush mums are in the UK, with groundswells of activity in New York and Melbourne.

 

Mush has opened its next round of funding for 950k GBP, which they will raise their angel investors and a Crowdcube campaign starting in November 2016. It will allow them to reach their goal: to be the biggest global social media platform for mums.

 

 

The Average Mum Falls Ill 324 Times Over Their Youngster’s Childhood

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The average mum will fall ill 324 times over their youngster’s childhood – with colds and bugs passed on to them by their offspring, a study has found.

 

An endless cycle of sore throats, runny noses, migraines and sickness bugs means the average mum will be left feeling under the weather 18 times a year.

 

The study of 2,000 parents, found that over the 18 years of their youngster’s childhood, mums will suffer from 54 colds, as well as a total of 108 sore throats or runny noses.

 

There will also be 36 sickness bugs – two every year – and an annual bout of flu.

 

On top of that, they can also expect to endure one bout of headlice a year after the critters come home from school on their children’s hair.

 

And eight in ten of those polled by supplements firm Healthspan say the germs and bugs can usually be traced back to the kids, leaving them suffering days after nursing their children back to health.

 

Dr Sarah Brewer, GP and Medical Director at Healthspan said: “Mums are often on the front line when it comes to the family’s illnesses and, due to time pressures and putting others first, are often poor at looking after themselves.

 

“Prevention is key and it’s important for mums to look after themselves by boosting their immunity to help prevent common illnesses as much as possible, and to shrug off respiratory infections quickly with go-to products they can trust to banish colds, such as Healthspan Pelargonium – a traditional herbal medicine that will tackle a cold in 24 hours.”

 

Sixty-eight per cent of mums said they had been more prone to falling ill since having children, with 39 per cent saying they now constantly feel under the weather in some way.

 

In fact, the average mum has just 13 days a month where they feel completely fit and healthy.

 

But 84 per cent of mums feel they are unable to sit back and relax when they are ill, instead having to battle on through, compared to just seven in ten dads.

 

And 72 per cent of women reckon they cope better than their partner when they are ill.

 

Mums’ illnesses – per year

Sore throats – 3

Runny stuffed nose – 3

Cold – 3

Flu – 1

Sickness bug – 2

Rash/skin complaint – 2

Migraine – 3

Conjunctivitis – 1

 

Total – 18

 

 

MumsThread: On The Importance of Work When You Become a Mother

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working mothers, working mum, freelance, self employed, mothers, mumsthread, babies, feminism, sexism, Out of all of the truisms, few are more true as when you choose a job, you choose a lifestyle. This was never more true when I first became an actor many moons ago (at one point I had three survival jobs. A day one, an evening one and a weekend one), or when I had a corporate job that paid absurdly well, but made me unhappy because it felt like my creative soul was dying.

Now I have a child lifestyle is important. I have been self employed and freelance for about six years now. And it is wonderful and awful, easy and hard. The truth is: I have worked harder and had tougher work conditions as my own boss than in any other. Frequently not allowing myself breaks, chaining myself to my desk as I just churn the work out. But having my son last year resulted in changes. Mostly because I fell head over heels in love with him, and I will never be the same again. It has required sacrifices, and sometimes those sacrifices are that I get barely any work done at all. Those days are the toughest. I have turned down a lot of great opportunities and my acting career is on the back burner, but I know that the privilege of seeing my son grow up is bigger than anything else. It was always important to me that my son was raised by at least one of his parents. It’s not a judgment call, all power to nannies and nurseries. In fact, I wish I could afford a live-in nanny, or a night nanny. Oh what heaven that would be.

But what I didn’t bargain on was how much I love working. Even the worst job I had brought something good with it: money, a reason to get out of bed, meeting people, a sense of worth. I am not saying I want to go back to those awful jobs, but work gives you identity and freedom. It means you are contributing to society. All of these are things that are very important. Even more so when you have a child and otherwise you just feel like someone’s mother and someone’s wife. I am not slamming being a housewife. It is as valid a choice as any. But I know myself, I need to work, and times where I can’t fit my work in due to childcare/a sick child/ a problem with the flat leaves me with a void. I also believe that a woman needs something for herself, even if it is just a hobby. Women tend to sacrifice themselves and it is unhealthy. Not just for the mother, but all the family. I would love to share childcare 50/50 with my husband, but he works in finance and that is just not possible. So some days I will write an article on my iPhone in the playpen with the baby, I will work on my book as much as possible when the baby finally naps. It has taught me to work smarter, not harder. To be quicker. But the thing having a child has most taught me is quality of life. I no longer chain myself to my desk. I say no to things. Because I have something which gives me more joy than anything else: my son’s face. Even on my hardest day he gives me joy. He has taught me that life is more important than work. I would constantly burn myself out before he came along, now I know that I just have to do what I can and that I am enough. I should be proud of my achievements. On the flip side, I got irritated when a lot of people asked if I would still work after I had a baby, and when I see an article on “selfish” mothers going out to work. I mean, God forbid a women wants to have a career and professional fulfilment. Y’now, like men get to do. No one ever asked a man how he juggles work with having children. The other thing is money: how many households can really survive on one income?

Many women do not get to see their babies grow up. They have to go out and work. I can earn a living as a freelancer and that is a huge achievement. I know I have the best of both worlds, even if I have to bribe the baby with Disney cartoons while I work. It was Sheryl Sandberg who said there is no such thing as work/life balance. There is just life and work and there is no balance. She is a wise woman. As long as I am kind to myself and get everything done eventually I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

 

30 Days of Gratitude Day Six #30daysofgratitude

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Today I am grateful for mothers. Not only my amazing mother, but mothers everywhere. Most of whom work 24/7, seven days a week and not only don’t get paid, but sometimes don’t even get any gratitude. Mothers are amazing, here is to them.

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Catch up on other days:

Day 1.
Day 2.

Day 3.

Day 4.

Day 5.

What are you grateful for?

 

 

Mums of Young Children in Breach of EU Working Time Directive

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We are not surprised at the news that mothers work so hard that they are in breach of Articles 3, 5 and 6 (b) of 2003 of the of EU Working Time Directive. Mums caring for a baby full time exceed maximum working hours, are not given adequate rest periods and do not receive paid annual leave from their baby employers

The number of hours each week that British mothers spend looking after their children would be in breach of the European Union’s Working Time Directive if this work were to be treated in the same way as paid employment, research by leading greeting card and gift retailer Clintons has revealed.

The Working Time Directive states that employees should work no longer than 48 hours per week. Workers are also entitled to a rest period of eleven consecutive hours in every 24-hour day, a rest break every six hours of work; an uninterrupted rest period of 24 hours in every seven day week, and paid annual leave of at least four weeks every year.  Employees who work night shifts have extra protection and cannot be asked to work more than eight hours in a 24-hour period.

Baby experts recommend that a baby between the ages of 12-18 months should sleep for around 14 hours a day, meaning a parent is actively looking after their child for the remaining ten hours. Across a 7-day period, this comes to a minimum of 70 hours a week, exceeding the maximum limit of a 48-hour working week specified by Article 6 (b) of the Working Time Directive by a shocking 22 hours. On top of this 70-hour minimum, mothers also have several hours of ancillary work each day and are constantly “on call” to respond to any emergencies, meaning their actual rest period is often reduced to six hours a day.

Of the 14 hours of sleep a baby should get each day, around three hours come in the form of daytime naps, and the remaining 11 hours come at night. Article 3 of the Working Time Directive states that workers are entitled to a “minimum daily rest period of 11 consecutive hours per 24-hour period” and therefore getting up in the middle of the night if the baby starts crying would be in breach of this rule.

Looking after a baby for seven days a week is also in breach of Article 5 which specifies that “per each seven-day period, every worker is entitled to a minimum uninterrupted rest period of 24 hours plus the 11 hours’ daily rest referred to in Article 3.”

Article 7 of the 2003 EU directive states that “every worker is entitled to paid annual leave of at least four weeks.” A Clintons survey of babies found that 0% of them had made provisions to fulfil this requirement.

Tim Fairs, director at Clintons, said: “Parents put in a huge amount of work, week in and week out, looking after their kids. Often this work goes completely unrewarded. Mothers’ Day is an opportunity to say thank you for everything mums do, but we shouldn’t wait for just one special day every year to acknowledge their hard work. We should celebrate mums every day of the year.”

Mother’s Day originated in the United States in 1908 when Anna Jarvis from West Virginia held a memorial for her mother. During the Second World War, American soldiers brought the celebration to the UK, where it merged with the older religious festival of Mothering Sunday when people would return to their mother church for a service held on the fourth Sunday of Lent known as Laetare Sunday.

Introduced in 2003, the European Union’s Working Time Directive (2003/88/EC) gives workers within the EU certain rights relating to numbers of hours worked each week, annual holiday entitlement, rest breaks and days off.

In the UK, workers have the option to work in excess of the 48 hours specified by the working time directive if they choose to, however this option does not apply to employees in all sectors. The statutory leave period in the UK is 5.6 weeks per year.

Tim Fairs, added: “Many mothers work incredibly hard all year round and never have a day off. No matter how old you are, take a moment this Mothers’ Day to let your mum know how much you appreciate her.”

 

 

Mothers Face Employment Struggles After Having Children

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keeping children entertained on car journeysNew mothers are reluctant to return to work after having a child, with new statistics revealing that 28 per cent did not go back to their previous employer and only 6% felt the desire to start their own business (6%).

The research comes from a brand new study conducted on behalf of Diddi Dance, a pre-school dance company. It has highlighted that mothers are often faced with the tough decision of whether to return to employment – 12 per cent of mothers said that their career was restricted after having a child/children, and a third (34%) did not want to spend time away from their child/children.

Concerns of mothers about returning to work are flexibility, which is vital with the very spontaneous nature of parenting (17%), and location, as travelling up to two hours a day is not a feasible option for some parents

This being said the research showed there were also aspects that mothers were not concerned about, as of those who returned to work only 8 per cent felt they were treated differently, and even less (6%) felt they were not treated fairly by their employer.

Anne-Marie Martin is a Diddi Dance franchise owner and mother of 2 young children – she explained the troubles of mothers like herself who she speaks with on a daily basis:

“There are so many factors when thinking about returning to work practically, but also emotionally. Childcare is one of these issues, as it’s not only very expensive, but the waiting lists tend to be quite long. In addition, not all providers are flexible with long or antisocial working hours. Commuting long distances means the time away from your child/ren can build up. It also makes you think about whether you should be leaving them for long periods of time from such young ages. Needs must though and returning to work is sometimes not an option a lot of parents are able to turn down.”

Do you have children and want to return to work or do you want to work for yourself?

 

 

 

 

Why Mothers Stop Breastfeeding

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GentleIt’s not your imagination– all babies go through a difficult period around the same age. Research by Dr. Frans Plooij Ph.D. and Dr. Hetty van de Rijt Ph.D., authors of The Wonder Weeks: How to Stimulate Your Baby’s Mental Development and Help Him Turn His 10 Predictable, Great, Fussy Phases Into Magical, has shown that babies make 10 major, predictable, age-linked changes – or leaps – during their first 20 months of their lives taking place around weeks 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37, 46, 55, 64 and 75. During this time, they will learn more than in any other time. With each leap comes a drastic change in your baby’s mental development, which not only affects his mood, his health, sleeping patterns and the “three C’s” (crying, clinging and crankiness) but also… babies drinking and comfort seeking habits. Unfortunately these Wonder Weeks are often a reason for moms who do not know about these wonder weeks, to stop breast-feeding their child.

With every new wonder week a baby gets a totally new perception of the world. Every Wonder Week is like waking up on a strange planet. A baby did not ask for this, did not see it coming, but suddenly this whole new world was there. What would you do? You would retreat to a well-known and safe place. For a baby that is mom. How would you do that? By literally clinging to your mom. Being one with her, holding on tight and the best way to do that would be via literally sucking yourself to your mom. This is where breast-feeding and Wonder Weeks meet. Whilst on the one hand Wonder weeks are in fact something good and signal progress in development, on the other hand, when the Wonder Weeks are misunderstood, they are often the reason moms give up breastfeeding.

“My daughter was crying so much that I was afraid something was terribly wrong. She wanted to breastfeed constantly. I took her to see the pediatrician, but he couldn’t find anything wrong with her. He said he just needed to get used to my milk and that many infants went through a similar crying phase at 5 weeks. I thought that is was a strange thing to say, because she hadn’t had any problems with my milk until then. Her cousin, who was the same age, kept crying, too, but he was being bottle-fed. When I told the doctor that, he pretended he hadn’t heard, I didn’t push the subject though. I found out about wonder weeks later on, but I keep on wondering why nobody told me about these wonder weeks earlier.” – Julitte’s mom, 5th week

Wonder Weeks and the milk doubting moms:

Wonder Weeks: One of the reasons mothers stop breastfeeding? As the baby gets more Clingy, Cries more and is more Cranky during a wonder week, many mothers start doubting themselves. Are they doing something wrong? If a baby wants to drink so often, does this mean they do not have enough milk? Or is their milk not good enough? Moms who know their baby is in a wonder week, don’t doubt themselves or their milk.

“Around the third wonder week my daughter suddenly started nursing less. After 5 minutes, she would start playing around with my nipple. After that had gone on for two weeks, I decided to start supplementing my milk with formula, but she wouldn’t have any of that either. This phase lasted 4 weeks. During that time I worried she would suffer from some kind of nutrition deficiency, especially when I saw my milk supply starting to diminish. But now she is drinking like she used to again, and my milk supply is as plentiful as ever. Now I know this is normal behavior during a wonder week. I never doubted my milk again since I know when these wonder weeks are.”
– Hannah’s mom, 19 th week.

Wonder Weeks and the exhausted moms:
Even the moms not doubting their milk sometimes give up breastfeeding. Simply because the impact of the leap on the behavior of their child is wearing them out. The moms that know about Wonder Weeks tend to be less exhausted as they know what is happening and that Wonder Weeks are actually a good thing.

Wonder Weeks and the mom of a six month old:
One of the most difficult leaps is the one of relationships, around six months after due date. The exact same time breast milk alone is not enough anymore and most parents start to give solid food as well. Mom is exhausted from the leap, doesn’t sleep or sleeps very poorly, while at the same time her child needs food. Just days after giving the first ‘meals’, the baby is in a much better mood. Often moms explain this whole sequence of events wrongly and seem to think their child was in need of other milk than theirs. While in fact the child just went through another leap and finished the leap when he turned six months.

Wonder Weeks and nipple cracks or abrasions:
Pain is, logically, one of the reasons moms want to stop feeding their child. When a child is in a Wonder Week he wants to drink many times more often than is normally the case. As this is one of the only times a baby is quiet, a mom doesn’t really pay as much attention to the feeding process as she normally would. Often resulting in wrong feeding positions, resulting in i.e. cracked nipples.

Making parents aware of Wonder weeks will enable parents to understand their baby’s behavior much better and will help many moms to continue feeding their child and to make sure these Wonder Weeks are not a reason to give up.

Dr. Frans Plooij Ph.D. and Dr. Hetty van de Rijt Ph.D. discovered the leap phenomenon while studying chimpanzee mother infant relationships in the Gombe National Park, Tanzania, East-Africa together with Jane Goodall. They are the authors of the book The Wonder Weeks: How to Stimulate Your Baby’s Mental Development and Help Him Turn His 10 Predictable, Great, Fussy Phases Into Magical

Dr. Frans Plooij Ph.D. is always willing to educate professionals about these Wonder weeks, or answer questions via Skype or email. He regularly has Skype sessions with moms around the world.

 

 

Campaign Launched For Mothers To Be Included On Marriage Certificates

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Wedding bride and groomI recently went to my local council with my fiancé to give notice to marry and was both shocked and appalled to learn that mothers are not included on marriage certificates in England. In Scotland and Northern Ireland mothers are included, but not in England. This essentially whitewashes women out of the history of their own children. Mothers carry their children for nine months and then go through the pain of labour and risk their lives to give birth to them, apparently this isn’t enough to be included on their marriage certificate.

It was upon reading this excellent guest post on Mumsnet by Ailsa Burkimsher Sadler that I decided that enough is enough. So I have signed her campaign and you should to. After all, without women the world would cease to exist. Yet the children that we have get a man’s surname slapped on them and then we are not even important enough to be included on their marriage certificate. As Alisa says in her blog post: “Did you know that marriage certificates in England and Wales include a section for the names and occupations of the fathers of the bride and groom, but the names and occupations of their mothers are not allowed to be recorded?

In Scotland and Northern Ireland information about mothers is included. Civil Partnerships also recognise mothers, unlike same sex marriages, which mirror their heterosexual counterparts.

‘So what?’ I hear some corners of the internet cry – ‘haven’t we got bigger fish to fry?’ But imagine you’ve brought up your child on your own – when the most important day of their life comes along you won’t be legally acknowledged, and the absent father will be. And if you’ve raised a child together, imagine that only he is considered important enough to give his blessing to the union. And it’s about more than a hurtful snub – it’s about the erasing of women from the civil and legal system of which marriage is a central part. We’re writing women out of history, and it seems indicative of a society where decisions are made by men to suit men. ”

Enough is enough: please also sign the petition so we can end the sexism. 33,000 people have so far. Thank you.

Catherine

Follow Alisa here: Twitter: @nameequality