Disclaimer: Ignore whatever he says. He knows nothing.
Warning: This week’s article might get a big heavy so I will punctuate it with jokes
This week was meant to be the 150th Anniversary of the London Underground but you know…delays.
While it’s not strictly political news BBC this week ran another series of stargazing and asked us all to help explore Mars. I’ve been exploring them for years but I have gallstones now so they’re a bit too fatty to eat now. While we’re on mars right “mars a day helps you work, rest and play” might be the biggest lie in all of advertising history.
I like to write my stand up material in the nude…yeah…bare jokes!
MP’s in an anonymous survey have stated that they believe they deserve a 32% pay rise. I can almost hear them justifying it by claiming it was less then a 3rd.of a pay rise. In this time of, as we are constantly reminded Mr Chancellor, austerity to suggest a 32% pay rise for yourself is a another blow to the public’s opinion of who you are what you do a MP’s. I don’t have anything funny to about this but it is most certainly a joke. Meanwhile starting salary for people in the police force will be cut £4,000. Wonder if those at the top of the police force will see similar pay cuts. I highly doubt it.
A lot of the time new hip hop music gets me annoyed, you know, makes me angry. Thankfully it’s only a Tinnie Tempah.
The first portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge has been unveiled. And I have to say that I wasn’t aware Karen Brady was the duchess of Cambridge. Take a look at it again yeah and see I’m right about this.
Lord Strathclyde has stood down from his position in the Cabinet. This ends his 25 year run as a part of the Conservative front bench. There are no jokes I can make here. Legally and from a liable point of view there are no jokes to be made here at all. Nothing to do with any sort of criminal investigation currently going on. I have no idea what you think I am a implying here. His friends have said there is no political reason for his departure. And why should I question that. I am sure there isn’t if they say there isn’t. SO obviously there is no joke to be made here. Let’s all move on because clearly, and I want to make this very clear, I am saying nothing about this or anything to do with hotels in north Wales. I do not review hotels in north Wales is what I mean. Clearly there is no connection here at all. Legally I want to make that clear.
I don’t know about you but I have an extensive disaster kit prepared at all times now because if even Labrinth is predicting an earthquake then I need to be prepared.
And yes that is an old joke but not as old as this one
Don’t go chasing waterfalls? Is there any need to chase them? Surely you just find them. Like they don’t move location. Yes they involve moving water but the waterfall itself doesn’t move so there is really no need to warm me no to chase them. Because why would I chase them? Yeah. Current.
David Cameron has accused UKIP of containing some pretty odd people. Because The Conservative party is a model or normality Mr Cameron? Pot. Kettle. Kettle. Pot. You get the idea.
HMV has gone into administration and I am feeling a little like I’ve lost a friend. I loved HMV and I spent plenty of money in their stores. HMV was like a second home I spent so much time in there. I will miss it. HMV will be a loss and now where do I physically buy DVD’s in the “high street”? Nowhere. Upset is an understatement.
Dear David Irvine, get your finger out and start putting an end to these “protests” over the flag. While I don’t agree with Belfast City councils decision to limit the days the flag is flown over Belfast City Council this is not the answer. Mr Irvine, along with other “political leaders” who are linked to organisations like the UVF need to call this off. They need to realise that this will solve nothing and actually makes the case the DUP are trying to make harder.
And Finally Nick Clegg has confirmed he will stand as a candidate and seek to be return to parliament at the 2015 General Election. This is apparently news. A man saying that he wishes to continue doing his job is news. A career politician saying he WILL stand for election is news. Surely it would be news if he wasn’t going to stand in 2015. That’s news. And to many Liberal Democrats that would be welcome news.
Thanks. Come back next week when I will be taking a look at the evolution of the teapot and how we stored tea before it was invented. (in case you hadn’t figured it out anything I tell you will come up next week never will)