MumsThread On Parents Taking It Easy On Themselves

baby, shared parental leave, feminism, equality, childcare, leave, maternal, work, working mothers, lean inThis column is late. It’s late because my son was ill. But mostly, it is late because I decided to take it easy on myself. We are doing our Christmas gift lists at the moment and they are a huge amount of work. That on top of all of my other jobs and activities, along with caring for an ill child, meant I was working hard and working a lot. So I decided to be easier on myself. Not killing myself by overworking, getting a takeaway so we didn’t have to cook, or going into the playpen with the toddler so you don’t have to chase him around the home. Unless you are a surgeon, or you work in a war zone, parenting is the hardest job in the world. It is 24/7 with no sick days. But you already know that. What you might not be doing is taking it easy on yourself. So I am going to tell you of because self care is important. Be kind to yourself. That is the only way you can be the best parent to your child. Here are some tips for you to help you take it easier on yourself.

 

Prioritise.

Some things are important, and those should always be done. Others can wait. Sure the oven needs cleaned but you have been on your feet all day and it can wait a few days. Every day do what really needs done, anything else can wait.  As for cleaning, make your home as clean and tidy as you are comfortable with. Unless you really want to, don’t waste your time making your home look like a show home. Your time is limited, don’t waste it cleaning.

 

Life Hacks.

There is usually an easier way to do something. A quicker way to cook, an easier way to clean, a better way to do your work quicker. Efficiency is important when you have a child. Cook one pot meals, it cuts down on cleaning afterwards and is quicker. Always cook too much so the extra can be used for lunch or supper the next day. Do your emails on the go, or when you are out and the baby is napping in the pram. Make sure you get the other half to pull their weight. That always makes a difference.

 

Don’t care what other people think. Know that compromise is fine. 

So what if your child is not wearing matching socks, If sometimes you feed him food from a jar or that you sometimes need to put a cartoon on? The most infuriating thing when you have a child is that everyone has an opinion on how you should raise them. That’s fine. Every one is allowed an opinion, but they should have the grace to keep it to themselves. It is your child, not theirs. Good for her, not for you. People will be rude and sometimes bitch. Ignore them. They clearly don’t care about your feelings, so don’t care about theirs. I have no childcare. I work and take care of my son. I do it well and I do it efficiently. My son rarely watches cartoons during the day, it doesn’t stop people bitching the times that he does. And on the subject of cartoons: I don’t get the snobby attitude towards TV. I know for a fact that some cartoons have helped my son progress. Say this aloud: screw them and screw their opinion. For extra help read the The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k: How to stop spending time you don’t have doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t like it is a great book for clearing your mental clutter.

 

Clear the physical clutter.

 

The thing that has made the most difference to my life is clearing out clutter. The less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to worry about. The less things to clean and the easier the surface area is to clean. It just makes sense that the less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to worry about. Personally, it has made such a difference to my stress levels and our home is looking much better.

 

Do you have any tips? Share them below.

 

 

This article was originally published in December 2016. We republished it because it was popular.

Frost Recommends: BabyBlooms For Christmas , Gorgeous Gifts For Babies

babyblooms, parenting, baby gifts, christmas, personalised Frost absolutely adores Babyblooms. Babyblooms is an online baby gifting company who do gorgeous personalised gifts. They are always presented in a gasp-worthy way. We cannot recommend them more. 

Babyblooms, the UK’s online baby gift company, in conjunction with their friend, Bertie Bear, have launched a gorgeous range of Christmas gifts sets to make Christmas truly special. All gifts come perfectly packaged in beautifully illustrated gift boxes and will create magical memories for years to come.

Christmas morning is finally here and after all the excitement of opening his stocking, Bertie wants to sit down to a special Christmas breakfast. Create a family Christmas tradition with this fabulous, festive bone china, Christmas breakfast set that can be personalised with the name of your choice.
Bertie Bear Christmas Morning Breakfast Set – RRP £50.00

Also available from BabyBlooms.

Why not start a new family Christmas tradition with this beautifully personalised wooden Christmas Eve box? Complete with a luxury, cloth bound version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ and a personalised Christmas Eve plate for Santa’s snacks and Ruldolph’s carrot, this is a wonderful way to celebrate Christmas Eve.

Personalised Christmas Eve Box with ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas book and Personalised Christmas Eve Plate
– RRP £49.99

Preparing for Christmas Eve bedtime is a magical time and Bertie loves this soft and snuggly personalised bathrobe with bear motif. He will be there in his personalised jumper to hop into bed and cuddle ‘til Christmas morning.

Bertie Bear Christmas Bathrobe Set
– RRP £50.00

 

Babyblooms pride themselves on their unique and beautiful packaging inspired by their home town in the Cotswolds. Each of these gorgeous Christmas gifts will be sent in a beautifully illustrated box that, once opened, will make perfect keepsake boxes or nursery storage. Available from http://www.babyblooms.co.uk/

 

Shake and Match Shape Sorter from Hape Review

Frost loves this colourful and fun shape sorter. Children will learn shapes as well as colours as they have fun. The shape sorter is wooden and well made. The shapes also double as rattles which give a great sound. The design is brilliant without any fuss. Unlike other shape sorters we have reviewed it is also tough and sturdy. So it will not just break after a few uses. A wonderful toy. Frost recommends.

The Shake and Match Shape Sorter from Hape is not just your average shape sorter. Inspiring building in a whole new, way each block has its very own unique sound. Doubling as a rattle, allow your little one to create their own distinct sound as they sort the shapes or just shake a block and ask your child to imitate the sounds you made with his or her own block. It’s the perfect way to allow the relationship between parent and child to blossom.

Each side of the wooden hexagon has fun to be had, watch them overcome the challenge of finding the correct slot to complete the sorter. Discovering new sounds, shapes and colours along the way with this multifunctional toy.

Thoughtfully designed to the highest of safety and quality standards, parents have peace of mind that they can trust in Hape. With a commitment to sustainability, Hape use only eco-friendly materials and water based paints to produce their much-loved and well respected toys.

The Hape Shake and Match Shape Sorter is available at Debenhams.com for £12.00 and is guaranteed to provide your little one with plenty of fun whilst developing a variety of vital skills needed for the years ahead, from hand-eye co-ordination, dexterity & shape and colour recognition.

The beautiful wooden design and enchanting pattern we’re so used to seeing from Hape is once again carried throughout the Shake and Match Shape Sorter good for both the child and the environment, Hape set themselves apart from others by the sturdy construction making it perfect for the rough and tumble of child’s play. While the use of bright bold colours are ideal for developing any little one’s shape and colour recognition, also helping hand-eye co-ordination and dexterity, whilst bringing joy to any young one 12M +.

 

How to Have a Baby and Not Lose Your Shit By Kirsty Smith Book Review

How to Have a Baby and Not Lose Your Shit By Kirsty Smith is a funny and searingly honest book about parenting. You will nod in agreement and laugh out loud. Well written and humorous, this is a great book for first time parents, and even for those who are having another, just so you know you were not, and are not, alone. Fun, entertaining and definitely worth a read.

 

So you’re having a baby! Congratulations! Have you started panicking yet?

How to Have a Baby and Not Lose your Shit is for women who want to start a family but are not sure quite how ‘into’ babies they are. Women who have no intention of ever making their own Play-Doh (yes, that’s a thing). Women who think that babies are a teeny, weeny bit boring.

Appealing to new and expectant mums (as well as existing mothers who will identify with many of the experiences!) this is not a book about surviving parenting: having a baby is not an ordeal, it’s a brilliant life-affirming experience. This book is about enjoying parenting but acknowledging its challenges, about how you can love your children to the moon and back but still not like having fingers that smell of poo.

If you want to know how looking after a toddler is basically just like that time your mate got dumped and went on a six-month bender, or why holding a baby at a wedding and immediately wanting to swap it for a glass of champagne doesn’t mean you’re not ready for motherhood (it just means there is champagne) – this is the book for you. It answers the real questions modern women have about parenting. Can I wipe bottoms and still kick-ass? What if all the other mums are really, really boring? Is it okay to Google the answers to everything?

Written by a mum of two who thinks her children are wonderful but wishes they could be wonderful in a quieter, tidier, less annoying way, this book is a funny, insightful, and honest account of being at home with babies and small children and all the wondrous things that entails: like carrying a pot of dead bees in your handbag and trying to source ice cubes that aren’t ‘too cold’.

It won’t make your baby sleep through the night, or cure colic, but it will make you laugh when you’ve been up all night… which is the next best thing.

About the Author In her career as a TV Producer working in magic & comedy, Kirsty Smith introduced Russell Brand to an erotic lady wrestler, locked two presenters in a cage with 60 chickens for a week, and was made to magically appear dressed as a Morris Dancer from a giant pair of underpants. Now at home with two small children, life is almost exactly the same but even funnier and with added rice cakes. Kirsty blogs as Eeh Bah Mum.

How to Have a Baby and Not Lose Your Shit By Kirsty Smith is available here.

 

The GoodFather: Becoming a Dad For the First Time Without Losing Your Mind, Changing Your Identity, or Emigrating by Lee Price

The GoodFather: Becoming a Dad For the First Time Without Losing Your Mind, Changing Your Identity, or Emigrating by Lee Price

A humorous and well written book on becoming a father. Has some good advice- and some bad: like do not buy a nappy bin or wet wipes, seriously, do not listen to that part- and many great insights and advice. It will make you laugh. Buy it for the dad to be in your life, but have a flick through yourself as it is funny and has some great tips. 

Part-diary, part-guide, part-warning – The GoodFather is a light-hearted but invaluable look into the world of first-time fatherhood.

Detailing the author’s eye-opening path of discovery, the book charts his journey (alongside that of his partner and their baby) as he goes through pregnancy for the first time. The nuggets of information he picks up along the way, the tips to help smooth the process for all parties, and the precious opportunities to bank some brownie points, are all detailed.

This isn’t your typical lecture on pregnancy and fatherhood, rather a real, tangible, honest account of what will happen, and how to survive it.

In this book:

> Learn essentials such as key dates, what happens at maternity appointments, what to pack for the hospital, and how to avoid blowing your cash on needless baby tat.

> Dig into an A-Z terminology guide to help you navigate the ridiculous amount of jargon that comes with being an expectant father.

> Get up-to-speed on baby milestones and size guides, some painfully-learned maternity shopping advice, and the importance of good snacks.

> Oh, and a chapter about sex. Don’t get your hopes up. Seriously.

> This book also features regular ‘real parents tips’ from mothers and fathers whose comments haven’t been passed through some rose-tinted filter.

The Author. Lee Price is an award-nominated national print journalist and published sportswriter. Previously of Shoot! magazine, and a feature writer at The Sun newspaper, Lee is currently ‘PR & Mischief Champion’ at Paddy Power. Lee has written a number of previous titles including: FIFA Football: The Story Behind The Video Game Sensation, The Bundesliga Blueprint: How Germany became the Home of Football and Turning My Back on the Premier League.

The GoodFather: Becoming a Dad For the First Time Without Losing Your Mind, Changing Your Identity, or Emigrating by Lee Price is available here. 

Pepe, The Sound Stacker Puppy From Hape – How Cute by Dr Kathleen Thompson

 When I was asked to review this sweet wooden stacker toy, by Hape, I knew I needed help. So I called in the resident toy expert, Henry.

At fifteen months old, Henry has approximately fourteen months experience of testing toys to destruction, so I was confident in his assessment.

With true professionalism, he started with Pepe’s Overall Appearance. His smile and the way he dashed over to Pepe and pulled off his head awarded the toy a good score on the Appeal Scale.

Next – Functionality Test. Henry removed each of the brightly coloured rings of Pepe’s body from the central stick. He then tested whether the rings could be replaced – both in the correct order and in random order – they could. Henry then discovered that you could remove all the rings, turn the central stick upside down and push the stick into the rings as they lay on the floor. This gave him surprising pleasure. Thus Pepe passed the Versatility and Capacity for Non-standard Usage tests with flying colours.

Next, rings once more in place, I demonstrated to Henry that if Pepe’s head were pushed down, he made a cute barking noise. At this point Henry collapsed into laughter – yes Pepe passed the Amusing Surprise Feature test too.

Finally – the Destruction Test. With typical conscientiousness, Henry took each part of Pepe in turn and threw it with all his force on the floor, which made a pleasing noise, but there was no damage to Pepe, or the floor.

So, all in all, this is a very appealing toy. It encourages colour identification and balance skills, while developing play skills. Most important – Henry really liked it.

The Pepe Sound Stacker from Hape is just one of a whole new range of fun-loving characters in the exciting world of PEPE & Friends. Other toys in the range include an Activity Cube, a Musical Push Along, a Friendship Tower and Puzzle Blocks. Using a range of natural materials and only water-based paints, and avoiding harsh glues and plastics, Hape are the largest producers of wooden toys.

By Dr K Thompson, author of From Both Ends of the Stethoscope: Getting through breast cancer – by a doctor who knows

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01A7DM42Q http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A7DM42Q

http://faitobooks.co,uk

 

 

Hape Walk-A-Long Snail Review | Toys

Frost loves the Hape Walk-A-Long Snail. First of all it is cute and looks so happy. Next, it is also a shape sorter. Your little one can pull it along like a cute companion or sit and play with the snail. It is wooden, high quality and very well made. It is also eco conscious. What more could you want?

When your child starts walking, they’re going to need a faithful companion to explore and play with. This is where the Hape Walk-A-Long Snail comes in to save the day.

This playful little snail will become your child’s favourite toy as he loyally tags along. Once they’ve got used to this friendly snail, they won’t want to go anywhere without him.

The snail is extremely versatile and totes a shell full of wooden blocks that can be removed to not only lighten the load, but also to use as a separate colourful shape sorter toy. You can even set up the blocks to create a “maze” that the snail can navigate through.

Your child can experience the wonders of the Walk-A-Long Snail from as young as 12 months. With the high quality wooden construction, your children are in safe hands and are ready to explore the world around them alongside their playful snail companion.

As with the entire Hape range of products, this unique Walk-A-Long Puzzle has been thoroughly designed to the highest of safety and quality standards. Also, with a commitment to sustainability, Hape only use eco-friendly materials and water based paints in order to produce their much loved products.

Give your child a toy that not only provides hours of entertainment, but also allows them to learn valuable skills, getting them ready for a bright future.

Hape’s Walk-A-Long Snail measures H18.6, W11.2, D30.1cm and is available from Argos for £24.99.

 

Diary of a Freelance Working Mother: On Busybodies

working mother , parenting, writer, Catherine BalavageIt was Jean Paul Sartre who said that hell is other people, but he did not get it quite right. What he should have said was that hell is other people and their opinions. Now if they can keep those opinions to themselves then it is happiness all-round. I spend large parts of my day not pointing out to someone how much of a jerk they are. An underrated and valuable skill, but one that seems in short supply when you have a child. I am going to do my best to make sure this weeks column is not an all-out rant, but I am going to put out a plea: please stop telling me how to raise my child.

There is a woman in my local area who seems nice enough, yet since my son was about nine months has asked me almost every single time she has seen me why he is not in nursery. Answer: because he is TWO-YEARS OLD. I have tried to explain to her his age and my personal reasons, but each time I am met with a lecture. Because, god forbid, a woman might want to raise her own child, right? Ditto for the fact I also got a long lecture from her on how my son was too old to be in a pram. ‘You are spoiling him’ she said. Never mind the fact that I am pregnant and he had just turned two, no, make him walk along the busy road and have no rest. That is definitely the answer.

Things like this happen all of the time. Some people will just critique. Ask you if your child can do something (competitive parents, they are just the worst), criticise their clothes/nails/cleanliness/hair, or ask a barrage of questions while pulling faces and making comments. Another bugbear is the busybodies who interfere and always think they know best. It does not matter that their children grew up decades ago and they lived in a separate place than you, they will always know exactly what to do in regards to nurseries and schools, as well as where you should take your child. The passing of time means nothing. Everything they did with their child, you in turn must do, because they know best.

I find with busybodies there is a number of things to do. One is smile and nod. Always best with strangers. The second is smile and say you do not agree, or make a joke of it. The best is to ask them nicely and politely to not interfere. The latter is always better with family. They will not stop if you do not tell them their behaviour is unacceptable. They may not even change then, but, trust me, you will feel better. In the meantime keep your head up, work on your sense of humour as it is the only thing that will get you through, and always stand up for yourself.

Please share any similar experience below, or just add your own comments. I would love to know what you think.