Tag Archives: parenting

MumsThread: No, Women Can Not Have It All By Getting Up An Hour Earlier

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get up an hour earlier, have it all, women, First it was in the papers. Then it was in some magazines. Of course, it was in the Daily Mail. It was sexism and bullshit dressed up as self-help. It said that women can have it all if they just get up an hour earlier. Much like a lot of self help: it was geared towards women to let them know that they weren’t good enough. That they weren’t working hard enough, that nothing they give is enough. Because, ladies, we should all be getting up an hour earlier. The leading story on The Daily Mail earlier today was a group of slim, successful working mothers who all get up at 4am. For quality time, to exercise, to work. Well I have had enough. You know what women really need? More sleep. I already work to 1am most nights, I don’t need to cut off hours at the other end.

Now, getting up earlier isn’t necessarily bad advice, but I take umbrage at it being marketed to working mothers. To any woman actually. Now, nothing happens in a vacuum. This started when author Samantha Ettus claimed to have come up with the formula to living a guilt-free and fulfilling life in her new book The Pie Life. I haven’t read the book, and getting up earlier IS a good way to get more done. But it doesn’t fit everyone and too many publications have taken it and used it as a stick to beat women with. Sleep is important for health, and if you are tired you will be less alert. I get more done when I have had a good nights sleep, I am sure you do too.

The truth is, no one gets to have it all and the bigger truth is that it would take more than an extra hour for me to fit it all in enough to have it all. What working mothers really need is for daddy to help out more. Or a nanny, a cook, and a cleaner. I am not saying that men don’t do their fair share, but I would like articles to point this out more: that a child has two parents and that mum needs a break sometimes. Working smarter is better than working harder. I get hardly any sleep as it is and there is no way in hell I am letting anyone take that away from me. So sleep ladies. Sleep until the baby/toddler/child wakes you up, and if it is a weekend, make sure you hand them over to daddy for an extra 10 minutes.

The Thing That Parents Need To Do For Energy

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fitness-get healthyParenting is exhausting. That is hardly news. What is harder is finding ways to get more energy and to feel healthier. You are not going to like it, but I have the answer: exercise. Now it is hard to fit it in and hard to find the motivation, but trust me; it will change your life. Even ten minutes will make a difference. Going for a walk or running with the pram is also an option. Anything you can do at all will make a difference. I have been doing Fitness Blender. It is an amazing website full of free workout from a husband and wife team. It has changed my body shape and made me much healthier. I do level fives now. Not bad as when I originally did their 5 Day Challenge I found it hard and my muscles ached the next day. Now I find it easy. They have a bar at the side which lets you know how many calories you have burned and you can search via type of exercise, calories burned, length, equipment needed or what part of the body you want to focus on. Definitely check it out. A walk is better than nothing, but doing an actual exercise program will change your body and your life. We also have an exercise bike which I use. I can burn 500 calories in an hour on the bike. Not shabby at all.

The other thing that makes a difference is: your diet. I know, you hate me even more now, right? But mainlining on caffeine and sugar is not going to help. Try to eat as well as possible. Stay hydrated. Drink water, eat your five-a-day. I am a much better mother now that I am healthier and have more energy. On the plus side the toddler thinks it is hilarious when I exercise. He giggles so much he falls over or tries to join in. I usually try and do it when he naps or my husband comes home, but we are both so busy I will just fit it in whenever I can. No excuses are allowed. I try to exercise five days a week. Try it yourself, I promise it makes a difference to your energy levels.

What do you think? What do you do for energy?

On Becoming a Mother When Your Own Mother Lives Far Away

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pregnancyWhile becoming a mother brings on a tsunami of new emotions, becoming a mother when your own mother lives in another country (or kingdom in my case, I live in London, my mother lives in Scotland), adds a tornado to the mix. I remember walking around The Baby Show while heavily pregnant, trying to bury down the melancholy because it seemed that every other woman was there with her mother.

My mother was there for the birth of my son. Not in the room, but she came down for the week. Unfortunately I was in labour for five of those days and she barely got to see her grandson before she had to head back up to Scotland. He was born in April and she didn’t get to see him again until January and is only seeing him again now, in October. It is slim pickings indeed. It hurts as she misses the milestones. It hurts that she doesn’t see him on a regular basis, get to cuddle him and breathe him in. We FaceTime and that makes a difference, but as the months go by it just isn’t enough.

It has been hard being without my family a lot in my life, but it is so much worse after you have a child. My brother has childcare whenever he needs it, day or night. My mother saw my nephew grow and become the 5-year-old he is today. I missed seeing my nephew grow up. When I saw him after a 6-months or 12-months gap I would not recognise him at first. Such was the incredulousness of this little boy being the baby that was my nephew. My mother even missed my son’t birthday weekend. We both felt that.

I only saw my mother once when I was pregnant and by that time I was six months gone. I had an awful pregnancy and missed having my family around me. I wish I could take my mother to the park with my son, have lunch with her, see him cuddle her and take her by the hand. It has been almost ten years since I moved to London. I always knew the move was permanent, but I was so young getting married and having children didn’t enter my head. Raising your own family so far away from your own can feel like a stake to the heart. I miss my family everyday, but more than that; I miss them seeing my son grow up. I guess the upside is that when we are with them we make the most of it. It is all the sweeter for being rare. It is a small consolation.

Should People Who Don’t Have Children Be Allowed To Tell You How To Raise Yours?

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baby,nappies, nappy, save, cheap, budget, working mothers, overwork, stress

Before I was married and had children I would always say that people who weren’t married should not give advice to people who are married, and that people who don’t have children, shouldn’t give advice to people who have children. Now that I am married and I have a child I can tell you that my belief has only hardened. I know that is controversial. I know some of you might want to slap me right now. I am worried that some of you may even thing I am coming across a bit Andrea Leadsom. But this is not a smug parenting thing. It is not an us versus them: it is simply the fact that parenting looks very different from the outside, and that unless you have been in the trenches, you have no idea what it is actually like.

There are some anomalies: live-in nannies, childcare professionals and the like. But if you don’t have extensive childcare experience, and you don’t have any children of your own, then don’t tell me how to raise my child. You would be surprised how much this happens. There is one specific person who criticises or makes a negative comment about my son, and how my husband and I are raising him, every time we see them. It takes everything I have to not point out to this person that they have never been around a child in their life and should therefore STFU. It is not even that this person has a point. Each criticism is something they have to seek and is nonsense: a comment on how our son is dressed etc.

General unsolicited advice is infuriating at the best of times, but when it is people telling you how to parent it is especially annoying. Being a parent is hard. There is no day off, no breaks, and certainly no sick days. I once worked on a film, a West End play and organised the launch party for Frost all in one month. It was brutal and relentless, but it was still nothing compared to parenting. To go back to my point about parenting looking different from the outside; before I had a child I would hear a baby crying, or be in a restaurant wondering why people were just letting their children run around. Now, there are still some days where I think what are you doing? (because I am human), but the thing is, that parent has probably done everything they can to stop the crying baby. The parents in the restaurant are just so tired they can’t move. You don’t know what lead up to that point or what that person is feeling. They are not doing nothing, they have already done what they can.

So don’t tell people what there child should be wearing or eating. Don’t tell them to shut their child up. The child has just as much right to be speaking as you do. Don’t be that person rolling your eyes because there is a baby crying on the bus (like I was!), because until you become a parent, you have no idea how hard it is and if you have one of your own you will feel very guilty indeed.

So should people who don’t have children be allowed to tell you how to raise yours? No. I am trying to swear less now I am a mother so I will use an acronym: that person should STFU.

 

 

Great Fire of London 350th Anniversary by Margaret Graham

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Frost Magazine is always concerned about the safety of children and felt we must share this with our readers. It’s 350 years since the Great Fire of London broke out, and educating our youngsters about fire safety has certainly come a long way since then. It’s so important that children know what to do in an emergency, outside of the home as well as in.

In honour of their 150th year, the London Fire Brigade (LFB) have teamed up with much-loved toy brand PLAYMOBIL to teach young children about fire safety through play. Free station open days are being held throughout 2016, with limited-edition LFB versions of the PLAYMOBIL fire engine and a catchy sing-a-long fire safety video available to watch and play along at home.

great-fire-of-london-350th-anniversary-by-margaret-graham1

Does your child know what the Brigade can help with outside of the home? LFB have recruited a specialist crew of firefighters to ensure children know who to call when they are in danger with a fun sing-a-long fire safety video, available here: http://bit.ly/PLAYMOBIL_LondonFireBrigade_Video. Why not settle down to watch it with your little ones and play along with our special quiz?1. What is the second emergency our PLAYMOBIL firefighters are called to?

  1. What do the firefighters use to put out the fire at the outdoor campfire?
  2. What catches fire at the PLAYMOBIL castle?
  3. What is the name of the colourful clown last to be rescued by the Brigade from the road accident?

 

What really happened during the Great Fire of London? Find out how much your budding little heroes really know about what happened during the Great Fire of 1666, with our online quiz here: http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/Flash/great-fire-of-london-quiz.asp

 

Can you spot the fire hazards? It’s important to teach your children how to spot hazards just as well as you do. Get them started with this interactive game: http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/Flash/EscapePlanningGame.asp

great-fire-of-london-350th-anniversary-by-margaret-graham2Play firefighter at home: It could help your children to learn what firefighters do if on their next birthday, granny could give them Limited-edition LFB versions of PLAYMOBIL’s fire toys created for little ones to learn through play at home. 10% of proceeds will be donated to the Brigade’s charities of choice.

 

Toys available to purchase at the LFB open days, online at Kerrison Toys and from PLAYMOBIL customer services.

 

 

Top 20 most Stressful Things about Parenthood

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baby, shared parental leave, feminism, equality, childcare, leave, maternal, work, working mothers, lean inThe answer to this could be everything. No, we jest. A recent poll of 2,000 parents has revealed the Top 20 most stressful things about parenting. The nightly teeth-cleaning battle, the bedtime routine and the dreaded school run are among the most stressful things about parenthood, a study has found.

The average mum and dad spend almost two hours a day feeling stressed, with trying to keep the house tidy the most common cause.

Others feel the strain at bath time, while trying to get children to behave in public and shopping for new clothes with the youngsters in tow.

Mornings – complete with getting the children out of the door for the school run, persuading them to finish their breakfast and clean their teeth – are the most stressful time of the day, claiming five of the 10 top stresses.

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who has been working with belVita Breakfast to help relieve parents, particularly in the mornings, said: “The stress and challenges of parenting can feel overwhelming – especially when we feel under pressure to get a lot done in a short space of time.

“Morning can be especially challenging and it’s key to develop a positive, convenient routine in the morning as it sets the rhythm for the day.

“When it’s ‘back to school time’, trying to get everything done and leaving the house on time is at its most pressurised so developing strategies that you give you and your family a sense of control is really important.”

The study by belVita Breakfast of 2,000 parents of school-age children, found that staying on top of the house chores is the biggest cause of stress for mums and dads, while getting the children to do their homework and the bedtime routine are also big triggers.

Researchers also found the average parent spends one hour and 48 minutes of each day feeling stressed, with 63 per cent going as far as to say the majority of their stress is parenting related.

Mornings are the worst time of day for parents with the average mum and dad having at least one day a week where they struggle to get out of the front door on time for school and work.

The children taking too long to do things is usually to blame for the family’s lateness, followed by youngsters not doing as they are asked and not getting out of bed.

But as a result of the frantic mornings, one in five parents has dropped the kids off at school after the bell and the same percentage have ended up late for work as a result.

Others have given the children lunch money instead of a lunch box, sent them to school in dirty or un-ironed uniform or with wet hair.

As families prepare for the dreaded ‘back to school’ week, it’s not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness’, with over a third of parents forgetting breakfast and 38 per cent having a fight with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning.

Eighty-seven per cent even said they look forward to the weekends when they don’t have to worry about the school run and leaving the house on time.

It also emerged that 66 per cent of parents believe mums bear the brunt of the morning and back to school stress, with half admitting they often argue with their partner about who gets the raw deal.

 

 

Top 20 most stressful things about parenthood

1. Keeping the house tidy and the chores up to date

2. Getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school

3. Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays

4. Getting children to do their homework/reading

5. The bedtime routine

6. Getting children to eat certain foods

7. Getting children to clean their teeth

8. Making sure my children are well behaved in public

9. Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays

10. Getting children out of bed in the mornings

11. Meal times

12. The school run

13. Entertaining children on a rainy day

14. Remembering everything they need for school

15. Shopping for new clothes

16. The back to school period

17. Getting children to sleep through the night

18. Getting children to eat their breakfast

19. Juggling your children’s different after school/weekend clubs schedule

20. Getting children dressed in the mornings

 

 

Mindful Mama: Happy Baby, by Maja Pitamic and Susannah Marriott Book Review

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Mindful Mama- Happy Baby, by Maja Pitamic and Susannah Marriott Book Review

 

I have to confess, I haven’t read a lot of parenting books. I keep meaning to, but find it hard to find the time. I managed to find some time for Mindful Mama: Happy Baby as it looked interesting. It has a number of things going for it: it is easy to read, fun and full of ideas. I am not into mediation or mindfulness, but I found the activities interesting and will use some of them with my son. The book has games, songs, dances and outdoor activities. The book breaks the activities down by age and has a development chart too. The book is well-illustrated and has clear instructions. funnily enough, I recognise some of these activities from my own childhood so there are a few classics.

I liked this book and will be doing some of the activities with my little one. This book is fun and educational.

Mindful Mama: Happy Baby is an accessible guide for new parents using mindfulness techniques and Montessori activities to bring calm and confidence to the early parenting years. Susannah Marriott has published a number of successful parenting titles, while Maja Pitamic is a Montessori teacher and author of the best-selling I Can Do It, also published by Modern Books.

 

Over 60 mindful activities and play ideas for bonding with your child

 

Sensory games, songs, dances and outdoor activities to share

 

Advice on nurturing, feeding, bathing, sleeping and carrying

 

Meditative techniques to relax your mind and keep you calm

 

Mindful Mama: Happy Baby is a practical and accessible guide for new parents, designed to give you the skills to calmly navigate the early years of child rearing, from birth to three years of age. Mindful parenting makes time for meaningful interactions with your child, which have a profound effect on bonding during the crucial developmental stages.

 

Emphasis is put on the well-being of both parent and child, as well as the importance of bringing peace and perspective to the emotional whirlwind of having a new baby. As your baby grows into a toddler, the exercises change, allowing this age group to fully explore the world around them and engage their senses in a fun and playful way.

 

Playing with a child with awareness daily is the most mindful thing we can do as parents. It shows children we are available and passes on the self-acceptance that comes with engaging fully with an activity. As children reveal their personalities and unique ways of doing things so we learn from them, our relationships with them become richer

 

Both practical and inspiring, Mindful Mama: Happy Baby gives you and your child the building blocks for an enjoyable and mindful first few years.

 

Maja Pitamic is the author of I Can Do It, the successful Montessori activity book for ages three to five, as well as the co-author of I Can Make Music, Modern Art Adventures and 3D Art Adventures. She has over fifteen years’ experience teaching young children and holds degrees in Art History and Montessori Teacher Training. She currently lives in London.

 

Susannah Marriott is a freelance author and mother of three. Her books include Green Babycare, Natural Pregnancy, Pregnancy Herbaland The Pregnancy and Baby Book. Her writing has appeared in Weekend Guardian, The Times, The Telegraph, Marie Claire, Zest, Shape, Top Sante, Healthy and Junior. She currently lives in Devon.

 

Also available in this series:

I Can Do It (Sept 2015) and I Can Make Music (Sept 2015)

Mindful Mama: Happy Baby

0ver 60 calming techniques and creative activities for babies and toddlers

by Maja Pitamic and Susannah Marriott

Published by Modern Books – 25th August 2016. @modernbooks.

RRP: £12.99

 

 

Domination of Screens Taking Its Toll On Children’s Reading, Learning And Behaviour

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At Frost we are great believers in the value of reading, as you will have notices from the number of books we review.

So, it’s no surprise to know that new research has revealed that a book at bedtime can boost a child’s brain power, accelerate academic achievement and reduce the risk of behavioural problems.

 

MRI scans show that reading to children from an early age actually increases activity in parts of the brain involved with language, particularly those regions which are critical for spoken language and reading.

 

Better understanding of the neurobiology of the brain has also shown how diet and digital technology can influence reading and cognition.

 

But the latest research, underlining the importance of reading, points to problems ahead. Research from Equazen, suggests that a worrying number of British children are turning their backs on books. 

 

Leading neuroscientists believe that our reading is more superficial when we use a screen, but a survey of parents has shown nine out of ten children have access to a tablet or Kindle.

 

I endorse this. As an author I write more succinctly, and superficially for screen than for print. A new report, SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT READING, authored by Philip Calder, Professor of Nutritional Immunology at the University of Southampton and an advisor to Equazen and independent dietitian Dr Carrie Ruxton examines the very latest data and explores new research into literacy and brain function. And it reveals a complex interplay between reading, cognition, behaviour, diet and lifestyles.

 

It seems reading alters the way we think, and interestingly improves blood flow to the brain though, but e- devices may lead to ‘digital brain’ and reduced concentration. The report supports the benefit of omega-3 fatty acids, which I take. . 

 

Might be wroth trying some omega-3 for the kids, and ourselves. Equazen do a range which is suitable for pregnancy, babies from six months to three years, a liquid for children who don’t like pills, and a chew .

 

You can find these Equazen products at pharmacies, Amazon.co.uk and health food shops.