Tag Archives: pregnancy

What I Learned About Resilience After The Worst Year of My Life

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TW: baby loss.

We all have fears in life and if we are lucky enough we don’t experience them. Although I have experienced anxiety in my life I thought I was one of those lucky people. It was November 2019 and I lived my life in a cosy bubble. Bad things had happened in my life, and I had lost people I loved, but I felt happy and lucky.

Two months earlier my husband and I had decided to try for a third baby. I was thirty-five but I got pregnant immediately. I was over the moon and slightly smug. Geriatric pregnancy my arse. Later, I was exercising and I felt something weird happen in my body. Like a pop. I immediately stopped and put my hand to where the weird pain had happened. Then I brushed it away.  There was a weird uncomfortable pain in my entire body. It felt like a balloon was filling up. I couldn’t sit down properly. Then when I went to the bathroom there was blood. The blood was very dark and it freaked me out. I went to A&E. They didn’t even scan me and sent me home. Despite the fact I could barely walk and was in a lot of pain. I have a high pain threshold and I felt like they didn’t see that I was suffering enough.

The next day I went to the early pregnancy unit and they thought the pregnancy was an ecoptic pregnancy. I’m not going into detail about all of it in this piece because it is an entire article in it’s own. I started feeling the pain on Monday and it was Friday afternoon when I finally got my ’emergency’ surgery and one of the first things the surgeon said to me when I come to was that they caught it ‘just in time.’ My fallopian tube had ruptured and I was bleeding internally. I had been walking around bleeding internally for days while being told to ‘go home.’

There are snapshots of this time that haunt me: the registrar stroking her very pregnant belly while asking what I wanted to do with the remains of my baby, the fear when they sent me home that I would die in my sleep. Waking up and not being pregnant anymore. Notably the fact that they kept sending me home and eventually, days later, I refused to go home and made them scan me again. On the day of my surgery I almost passed out numerous times and the nurse kept bringing my back with oxygen, refusing to let me faint on her watch.

Mostly I remember the grief. There is no pain like losing a baby. I always thought people who killed themselves before that were selfish, now I know they are just in so much pain that they want to leave their bodies. I was completely and utterly broken. The only thing that brought me through were my other children. I figured if I could just put my feet onto the floor every morning and then get out of bed, I could survive. I only had to put one foot in front of the other.

In the blur of everything I took care of my children and tried to make sure they couldn’t see my pain. I didn’t want them to suffer, and I refused to let them see their mother depressed or spending days in bed. I knew that I had to structure my days. I had to get out of bed and smile at my children. Play with them, read them books. I took up Spanish and started doing yoga. It helped that we were moving house and I had to pack up and deal with all of that.

Just as the surgery scars started to heal a little I got ill. really ill. I had this continuous cough that wouldn’t go away. I spent boxing day with my mother-in-law and my husband’s aunt, uncle and their children. I had to find an emergency doctor’s appointment and fainted at the pharmacy getting antibiotics. I somehow managed to walk home although I have no idea how.

A few days later I was going to take my children to bed when I felt a sharp pain in my chest. It took my breathe away and then I couldn’t breathe. I was on the floor crying, barely able to breathe, begging my husband to help me. He called an ambulance and long story short I had double pneumonia, just as rumours of a SARS like illness started in China. I was unable to eat anything or lie down flat. I spent the next six months recovering as the world went into lockdown.

It was now July and my world started to come together again just as I noticed my period was late. I took a test and I was pregnant again. The happiness I felt was like nothing else.  But then weeks later I started bleeding. I made my way to the hospital, desperate to hold onto this baby, only to lose another one.  A few of my amazing friends told me they were pregnant and I didn’t want to tell them about my miscarriage because I didn’t want to scare them, or take away their joy. I would see pregnant women on the street and feel a bitterness that made me not recognise myself. I was full of hate and pain. I found women who were pregnant with their third child, or who had one, especially triggering. The pain of a miscarriage is hard to describe. It wasn’t as tough as the ectopic pregnancy, but the emotional pain of waiting for your baby to pass through you is sharp and brutal. The loss is acute.

I got up, homeschooled my oldest until 2pm and then focused on my toddler for a few hours. Then I forced myself to write three thousand words a day. I started another novel which I finished in six weeks.Then one day I walked out into my garden and the world seemed so beautiful. I sat down to take it in and I saw dew on the blades of grass. I thought about how cruel it was that my baby never got to experience a moment of this world, and yet I knew the world was still beautiful and that life went on. Even if the pain never really goes away.

I started to hate who I was becoming so I stopped. I decided that I didn’t want anyone else to feel this pain that I was feeling. I wanted to put positivity and love out into the world. To spread nothing but kindness. In this I finally found myself again. There is nothing uglier than bitterness or hate and my refusal to let it consume me was a turning point. I donated to charity and did everything I could to spread community and love. I kept writing and I started submitting my novel to agents and publishers. I went after every dream I had and I worked hard.

It has been two years now since my grief threatened to swallow me whole and I look back at that time and it still hurts, but I’m proud of myself. My Spanish is still mediocre and my yoga is not great, but I got a book deal and my novel Ember published in March 2022 to great acclaim. Ember has a character in it who had a miscarriage in the past and the lead character is also an obstetrician. I almost abandoned the book after my ectopic as I found editing it so painful, I put all of my pain into it. It was like therapy. I persevered and I’m proud I did. More importantly, in June 2021 I had my gorgeous and beautiful rainbow baby who I am grateful for every day. A little boy who is sunshine personified.

I didn’t let my pain break me or change who I was. The worse things got the harder I reached for the best. The negativity made me search for the positive. Faith and love helped me reach the other side and I know that life is always beautiful and precious. I promised myself I would always live my life to the full and never take it for granted. I won’t break it.

Packing Your Hospital Bag with the Natural Birthing Company

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Did you know that September and early October are the most popular months for births?

 

With more mums-to-be going into labour this month than any other time of the year, Natural Birthing Company have put together a Birthing Essentials Kit to help these new mums prepare for the day. We love the Natural Birthing Company and think their products are fab.

Natural Birthing Company, pregnancy, birth, labour

Packing a hospital bag can feel like an impossible task, so to make it just that little bit easier the Birthing Essentials Kit contains everything that they may need when they go into labour.

The Natural Birthing Company Mama’s Moments Birthing Essentials Kit, £20, naturalbirthingcompany.com, boots.com, next.co.uk, feelunique.com

All designed to relax your body and soothe any soreness, they’re the perfect products to keep handy. Relax and Breathe, and Sleepy Mama have been designed to soothe your body and mind. Along with Bottoms Up which is formulated to provide relief to any soreness down below. Finally, Cool it Mama will be their labour companion, providing coolness whenever they feel they need it.​

 

When is the best time to get pregnant?

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Trying to conceive or even planning when to get pregnant can be a difficult topic. But, why should it be? The Fertility Partnership (TFP), one of the UK’s largest IVF providers and fertility specialists, shares some insight into the best time to get pregnant and factors to consider when planning for a new addition to your family.

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The best time to have sex in order to get pregnant is during a woman’s fertile window. This can last up to six days of every month, when the body is leading up to ovulation, and the day of, when the body releases an egg.

 

The egg survives for around one day once it has been released. However, sperm can survive inside a woman for up to a week, resulting in a six-day window for the sperm to meet an egg.

 

Women are most likely to conceive if they have sex within a day or two of ovulation. However, it can be difficult to know when ovulation is going to occur and therefore the days before it. Many women like to be precise and use calendars to help them work out when they will ovulate, but it’s healthiest to enjoy sex every two to three days for best results.

 

When a woman ovulates in any given cycle, it depends on a couple of factors:

  • The length of the woman’s menstrual cycle
  • How regular the woman’s periods are

 

A menstrual cycle can last between 21 and 40 days, though the average cycle is around 28 days. Regardless of how short or long a woman’s cycle normally is, ovulation will often occur around two weeks before her next period begins. If a woman has a 28-day menstrual cycle, she is likely to start ovulating around the middle of her cycle. Those with a short cycle can ovulate within days of her period coming to an end.

 

If a woman’s menstrual cycle is different from one month to the next, her fertile window is likely to vary by about a week between each period. This explains why it’s best to have sex every two to three days throughout a cycle. It has proven to be more effective than focusing only on the days of ovulation. Regular sex also improves the quality of sperm compared to daily sex.

 

How will you know when you are going to ovulate?

 

Many women are very aware of when they are going to ovulate, however others experience little to no changes at all. For women who are thinking about getting pregnant, it’s important to get in touch with your body and start looking out for and recognising signs of an approaching ovulation. These signs may appear around three weeks before a woman can expect her next period. Some common signs to look out for are:

  • Increased vaginal discharge (fertile mucus) that’s wetter and more stretchy than usual
  • Slight discomfort on one side of the stomach
  • Increased libido

 

Checking cervical mucus is one of the easiest ways to work out what days you will be most fertile. Changes to mucus are one of the easiest signs for women to spot.

 

What if you have irregular periods – will it be harder for you to get pregnant?

 

No, not necessarily. Irregular periods do not mean that a woman is less fertile than women with regular periods. However, if you are experiencing periods that are continuously irregular or more than 36 days apart, it is advised to see your doctor. Irregular periods can be caused by conditions like polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and thyroid disorders. Unfortunately, these conditions can affect a woman’s chances of conceiving, so it’s ideal to visit a doctor to obtain help and advice.

 

If you’re still experiencing issues with conceiving and think you need some extra assistance, The Fertility Partnership can help. Offering many different kinds of treatment including IVF, fertility preservation, fertility assessments and more it has over 200 fertility specialists within its nine clinics across the UK & Ireland.

 

To find out more about the treatments it offers, what would work best for you or simply to find your nearest clinic visit www.thefertilitypartnership.com.

 

Grow Healthy Babies: The Evidence-Based Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

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grow healthy babies, pregnancy book, pregnancy, Being pregnant can feel like a minefield. Knowing what to eat and what to avoid can feel overwhelming. With allergies on the rise it adds more pressure. So I was excited to see the Grow Healthy Babies book. It is an evidence-based guide to reducing your child’s risk of asthma, eczema and allergies.

I was hoping it would not be a hippy-dippy book preaching to others what to eat and do, and I am happy to report it is not. It is a fantastic, well-researched book which backs up everything it says in droves. This book shows that you can make a huge difference to the health of your child, and it all starts in pregnancy. Pregnant women have more power than they realise.

While some of the research is not helpful to everyone- eating organic food is not within everyone’s range- I found the advice in this book invaluable. I would recommend it to anyone who is having a baby, or even thinking about getting pregnant. It is a truly great book and a triumph for the authors.

 

When lifelong asthma, eczema, and allergy sufferers Michelle Henning, a certified Nutrition & Health Coach, and her husband Dr. Victor Henning decided to become parents, they were well aware that half of all babies born today will develop allergies and up to a third will become asthmatic or suffer from eczema. Using their combined backgrounds in nutrition and science, they began investigating a mountain of medical literature on how to prevent chronic illness so that their baby would grow up healthy.

In their honest and enlightening new book Grow Healthy Babies, the Hennings share their research by distilling the latest medical evidence into a practical, easy to read guide that provides expecting parents with clear and simple steps to lower a baby’s risk of developing a chronic condition by up to 90%. With the goal of empowering parents-to-be or those planning to get pregnant with information about simple choices that improve their health and their child’s health, they cover a multitude of topics including:

  • You can make a difference: By making different choices during/after pregnancy, you have the power to shape your baby’s health for life
  • How your baby’s immune system develops, and how you can strengthen it to prevent chronic illness
  • How friendly bacteria, your microbiome, shape both your and your baby’s health, and how to protect and improve your microbiome
  • Which food choices and supplements during and after pregnancy make a real difference to your baby’s health, according to scientific studies
  • Why environmental factors and certain household products can trigger chronic disease, and how to choose healthier alternatives
  • How birth choices and breastfeeding can influence your baby’s long-term health

 

Grow Healthy Babies: The Evidence-Based Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and Reducing Your Child’s Risk of Asthma, Eczema, and Allergies is available for pre-order at bookstores nationwide and online retailers such as Amazon.

World’s First Breath Test Fertility Tracker Launches To Increase UK Pregnancy Rates

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New breath tests will be launching today, that can help to increase pregnancy rates with the world’s first fertility tracker breathe ilo, that uses breath analysis (CO2) to identify ovulation patterns.

fertility, infertility, baby, fertility tracking, breathe, ovulation, get pregnant, help,

With a study revealing that only 12.7% of women correctly estimate their ovulation day¹, breathe ilo is the easiest and most comfortable way to naturally track cycles with a small handheld device that is synced to an app. The technology reads the breath’s CO2 saturation to determine where a woman is in her cycle with incredible accuracy. The device uses real-time ovulation and historic symptom data to offer women precise day-to-day insights into their fertility forecast.

 

The new technology signals a shift so women no longer need to track their cycles by urinating on a stick or by measuring their temperature early in the morning. The innovative device works by simply breathing and displays the results in just 60 seconds, with no consumables or maintenance needed. Through consistent daily use, the breath analysis tracker empowers women to understand their body and cycle phases better.

 

The breathe ilo app, which is compatible with iOS and Android, features a calendar that displays a clear overview of fertile days and a cycle diary to learn more about individual cycle patterns. breathe ilo’s cycle diary also offers the possibility to document further cycle symptoms like breast tenderness, PMS, cervical mucus, or headaches to help prepare women for their next cycle.

 

Lisa Krapinger, breathe ilo’s spokesperson, says, “We believe that fertility and cycle tracking should not be a tiresome task. breathe ilo is designed to bring fertility tracking into the 21st century and the precise and uncomplicated nature of the device is the future of female health by using their breath.”

 

“Our mission is to not only make fertility tracking as easy as breathing, but we have a wider ambition to create a comfortable space where women can speak freely about trying to conceive and their menstrual cycles, along with all that is in between. With 640,370 women in England & Wales giving birth in 2019², we hope to make it easier and less stressful for those trying to conceive moving forward.”

Pia Haas’s story

 

After two years of trying for a baby, Pia Haas, 32, decided to take a chance on a new piece of tech to increase her likelihood of getting pregnant.

 

As part of a field study for the femtech start-up, Pia agreed to test out the device which claimed to be able to tell her when exactly it’s the right time to try conceive just by simply breathing. Three months later, Pia was stunned and delighted to find out that she was pregnant and became the first woman to give birth to a baby thanks to breathe ilo.

 

Pia, whose son Felix is now 10 months, says of her experience using the breathe ilo: “With breathe ilo my biggest wish came true. I think it is the easiest way of tracking your fertile days. It was less stress than peeing on sticks or measuring temperature. We are planning to use breathe ilo again in the near future to get a sibling for Felix.”

 

fertility, infertility, baby, fertility tracking, breathe, ovulation, get pregnant, help,

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Dr Horst Ruther’s story

 

  • Please can you share your own experience with trying to conceive and the difficulties you and your wife faced?

My wife and I’s wish to have a child was unsatisfied after more than 5 years of trying. The journey to parenthood was tough because it caused private pressure within our relationship as a couple, but over the years also external pressure from friends and family. The available methods to detect the most fertile days were not very user friendly or easy to use, and also quite unprecise. We even underwent some clinical treatment which only made us more frustrated and increased the pressure further. After several years,  Edith and I decided to go down the adoption route and were very grateful to be able to adopt our son Benjamin. To our surprise shortly after adopting Benjamin, Edith became pregnant and our son Bastian was born only 10 months after his brother Benjamin.

 

  • How did the idea behind breathe ilo manifest?

After having gone through a tough journey to become a father, I was super excited to learn about the research Prof. Wildt had done in the area of breath analysis to detect fertile days of women – particularly the great advantages of the method because it was much easier and more pleasant than any other method available. So I organised a meeting with Prof. Wildt and immediately knew that we were going to bring the innovation to the broad majority. While Prof. Wildt did show promising research results in the correlation of CO2 in breath and the female cycle with professional respiratory analysers at the clinic, he lacked the knowledge how to build an affordable respiratory analyser for women at home. But with my engineering background and 30 years’ experience leading successful development projects for blood gas analysers for diagnostic companies like Roche Diagnostics, we were able to collaborate to bring breathe ilo to life.

 

With the option to buy a device for £259.00 or rent for £29.90 a month, breathe ilo is available to purchase exclusively now at  www.breatheilo.com from September 16, 2020.

 

Childcare during the pandemic has damaged my career prospects say 57% of mothers

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traveling in london while pregnant, traveling in london with pram, traveling in London with baby, with child, London, tube, step free access, babyonboardbadgetravelinginpregnantwhenpregnantAlmost 50% of working mothers feel forced to send their children back to school or childcare to save their job

 

New research from charity and campaign group, Pregnant Then Screwed, which has spoken to 3,686 pregnant women and mothers to understand what the impact of Covid-19 is having on their careers so far, found that  57% of employed mothers believe that their increased childcare responsibilities during the pandemic has impacted their career prospects or will harm them in the future. Techniques like the kidspiration in gorton adopted in reputed nurseries can help children be more creative and learn more at a tender age.

 

After 11 weeks in lockdown as nurseries and childcare facilities have begun to open up, almost half of all working mums (48.6%) have admitted they feel forced to send their children back.

 

Joeli Brearley, Founder of Pregnant Then Screwed explains, ‘We know from the London School of Economics that women are more likely to deal with homeschooling, childcare and chores around the house than men. What’s terrifying is the volume of mothers that we have spoken to who after just 12 weeks already feel that this will negatively impact their career.’

 

This research has also found that a huge majority (78%) of working mothers have found it challenging to manage childcare and their paid work during lockdown, and a quarter (25%) of these mothers explained that their work hasn’t been flexible to allow for them to complete their paid work and manage childcare duties.

 

Joeli Brearley explains, ‘It’s utterly disgraceful that employers haven’t recognised that working from home with children has been a case of absolute survival. Women are more likely than men to lose their jobs in the impending recession* and yet for a quarter of working mothers their employer has refused to give them the flexibility they need. This has resulted in women being pushed into unpaid leave, sick pay or furloughed as a direct result of having children. It’s no wonder working mothers aren’t thinking positively about their future careers.’

 

The survey also spoke to pregnant women, and found that 7.7% are expecting to be made redundant, of these women 20% believe their pregnancy is a factor. Not all pregnant women are able to adhere to social distancing measures, with 5% still going to work, rising to 6.4% for BAME pregnant women, in environments that are unsafe. 15% of pregnant women working in the NHS are still having face to face contact with patients who could have Covid-19, and 8.1% of pregnant women have been suspended from work on incorrect terms including sick pay, no pay, enforced annual leave or put on maternity leave early.

 

Joeli Brearley, Founder Pregnant Then Screwed, comments, ‘If you are being treated differently in the workplace than other women or men because you are pregnant this is discrimination and it is illegal. If your work has not completed a health and safety risk assessment to prove that you are safe at work, and will not come within 2m of other people, this is illegal. Pregnant women are in the vulnerable category, they must be protected, not penalised, and not put in harm’s way.’

 

The future could however be brighter where flexible working is concerned, as 58% of working mothers think that homeworking will be possible once normality resumes, this is an increase of 14.4% from pre-Feb 2020.

 

www.pregnantthenscrewed.com

 

The Fourth Trimester Companion: How to Take Care of Your Body, Mind, and Family as You Welcome Your New Baby

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baby, new baby, parenting, A well-cared-for baby is a baby whose mother is taking care of herself. Put simply: good mother care Is good baby care. 

That’s the core of the Fourth Trimester concept. In recent years doctors, nurses, midwives, and others involved in providing baby care have adopted this vital concept enthusiastically. The Fourth Trimester emphasizes that how a mother takes care of herself in the first three months of a new baby’s life brings crucial benefits for her, for her baby, and for her partner and family.

With this important new book, moms (as well as their partners and other caregivers, whether lay or professional) now have the resources to have an ideal Fourth Trimester experience. Cynthia Gabriel, a doula and the author of the best-selling book Natural Hospital Birth, delivers all the information, guidance, and encouragement new mothers need to take care of their bodies, minds, and spirits during the vital months of the Fourth Trimester—so that they feel their best and so their babies have the best possible chance to thrive.

This is a great book to help mothers- and fathers- get through a difficult time. Full of great, accessible information, this book is enjoyable to read. It is like having a friend with you. It is US based but is still relevant to UK readers. Highly recommended.
The Fourth Trimester Companion: How to Take Care of Your Body, Mind, and Family as You Welcome Your New Baby is available here.

The Doula’s Guide to Empowering Your Birth: A Complete Labor and Childbirth Companion for Parents to Be

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Experienced doula, Linsey Bliss, shows you how to prepare physically and mentally for every element of having a child, from pregnancy to fourth trimester in The Doula's Guide to Empowering Your Birth. Lindsey Bliss, who has assisted as a doula at hundreds of births and is herself a mother of seven, reveals here all the wisdom and advice that doulas share with the new mothers who hire them. The Doula's Guide to Empowering Your Birth covers the period from pregnancy through labor and birth to fourth trimester healing. The focus, however, is on preparing for birth--including topics like how to pick the right childbirth class and the right birthing method. You’ll also see how to assemble the team of professionals, family members, and friends who will support you through labor and birth, and how to approach last-minute decisions about pain medications and cesarean sections. Bliss's tone throughout is at once authoritative and confident as well as warm and encouraging. Her concern in her practice as well as in these pages is to listen to and help secure each new mom's own personal vision of a birthing experience that is safe, fulfilling, and meaningful.

This is a truly wonderful book from a doula who really knows her stuff. Linsey Bliss has seven children. Six of those are biological and she has had two sets of twins. She has also assisted hundreds of births. This book tells you all you need to know about pregnancy, childbirth and even what happens after. This well-written book is enjoyable to read and is like having your own personal doula and best friend in one. Essential. 

Experienced doula, Linsey Bliss, shows you how to prepare physically and mentally for every element of having a child, from pregnancy to fourth trimester in The Doula’s Guide to Empowering Your Birth.

Lindsey Bliss, who has assisted as a doula at hundreds of births and is herself a mother of seven, reveals here all the wisdom and advice that doulas share with the new mothers who hire them.

The Doula’s Guide to Empowering Your Birth covers the period from pregnancy through labor and birth to fourth trimester healing. The focus, however, is on preparing for birth–including topics like how to pick the right childbirth class and the right birthing method. You’ll also see how to assemble the team of professionals, family members, and friends who will support youthrough labor and birth, and how to approach last-minute decisions about pain medications and cesarean sections.

Bliss’s tone throughout is at once authoritative and confident as well as warm and encouraging. Her concern in her practice as well as in these pages is to listen to and help secure each new mom’s own personal vision of a birthing experience that is safe, fulfilling, and meaningful.

The Doula’s Guide to Empowering Your Birth: A Complete Labor and Childbirth Companion for Parents to Be is available here.