Londoners Life 19 – By Phil Ryan

Well a big hello after my absence. Had to finish off two novels and some other projects. But I’m back in time for my New Year review. London has had a busy old time in many ways. We’ve watched the giant money hole of the Olympics steal more and more of our money, we’ve had a bit of rioting, a bit of demonstrating and a bit of a recession. And how’s it left us Londoners? Well certainly the gap between rich and poor continues apace – some areas in London now resembling scenes from the aftermath of an apocalyptic plague movie whilst other tangibly smell of cash and cashmere. This gap can also be measured in ever sky rocketing house prices. Whilst everyday living costs creep ever higher. So for my review of 2011 here’s a quick list of a few London change indicators.
• Starters in restaurants now seem to cost as much as a main course
• More restaurants have replaced their chairs with those highly comfortable solid wooden thin benches from a Victorian prison
• A trip to the cinema for two is coming in at close to £25.00 and popcorn has broken the £5.00 ceiling
• There’s a new demonstration every day in Town not to mention various permanent demonstrations at tourist sights
• The Oyster card now only offers minor convenience in getting in and out of stations but cleverly hides the ever spiraling travel costs (until you have to top up)
• Parking in London is now only affordable by the wealthy or the desperate
• London Councils have finally abandoned all pretense of caring about their residents.
• Shops have sales every other week
• Sushi restaurants are taking over
So goodbye to 2011 with your momentous world events that touched London but didn’t fundamentally alter it in any way. For keen power player watchers we’ve had scandals and phone hacking saga’s that apart from the closure of the News of the World don’t seem to have changed the main players. Our Bankers carry on as normal apart from those lower down the food chain losing their jobs. So from a Londoners perspective what’s 2012 going to be like? Well it’s going to be more expensive across the board from transport to accommodation. The Olympic gravy train will roll in and out inconveniencing us all (of course TFL will run a fantastic tube service with an extra 6 million people on board) And there’ll probably be another uplifting parade to celebrate the royal baby that will undoubtedly appear in time for the Queens Jubilee celebrations. Closer to home still Hammersmith Bridge will be finally replaced by Lego as that seems more robust than the one they spent millions of our taxes on ‘repairing’. The Mayoral election will shock us all when a surprise last minute candidate bags the top job. Said candidate being that bloke off my big fat gypsy wedding. And London Councils will begin plans to cull the poor.

Looking back I’m left with some of my favourite moments from what I can only describe as ‘spokespeople’. TV and Radio reporters grabbing that all important human interest moment out on the street. So from ‘Rioters in Tottenham’ we had (from young guy number 1 with a hoodie and face mask carrying a large plasma TV) “It’s all about Iraq” (from young man number 2 with a hoodie and face mask number) “It’s about anger. We’re angry about being angry”. From a ‘St Pauls Cathedral Camp protester’ (who looked slightly the worse for wear) “I came to support these people and whatever it is they’re protesting about – it’s brilliant whatever it is and they gave me a tent a spliff and some soup I mean how great is that?” From a Christmas shoppers laden with about ten bags “Yes we’re cutting right back this year” and from some religious loon with a beard “Threatening death for us is an argument it’s not unreasonable”. So Happy 2012 to us all and whether its Ken or Boris as Mayor, whether we win gold medals or flog the Olympic venues for a tenner to a friend of Lord Coe’s as Londoner’s we just won’t care – It’s a London thing.