Tag Archives: relationship

The Least Romantic Quotes

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Should Brand stick to the entertainment industry?

Should Brand stick to the entertainment industry?

“It’s sort of odd, isn’t it, because you can’t just maraud through life f**king whoever you like…which is a shame, because I actually could do that.” Russell Brand in 2010, when he was still married to Katy Perry.

“I’d be having sex thinking, ‘think of anyone, anyone else.'” Russell Brand again. This time on his sex life with Katy Perry.

“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”
― Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

“Believing in marriage and not in divorce is like believing in joint stock companies and not in bankruptcy.” Neil Ferguson

“He has been Tom Cruise for 30 years. I know who I am and where I am and where I want to go, so I want to focus on that.” Katie Holmes, 6 weeks before she filed for divorce.

“I don’t believe in soulmates…the idea of it is beautiful, and very romantic to talk about it in a movie or a song, but in reality, I find it scary.” Vanessa Paradis, 5 months before her split with Johnny Depp.

“I rack my brain thinking “Why am I not out there playing the field? One of my buddies was like, ‘You have no idea what’s going on right now. You’re peaking on ecstasy and you’re watching television.” Zac Efron, 2 months before he split with Vanessa Hudgens.

“Being married means I can fart and eat ice cream in bed. Jen is brilliant. I’m really missing her.” Brad Pitt when he was married to Jennifer Aniston

Do you have a least romantic quote?

Where To Spend Valentine’s Day

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Bespoke Valentine’s Day menu at Michelin starred restaurant Launceston Place

 

Head chef, Tim Allen from Launceston Place, will be creating a bespoke menu for one couple this Valentine’s Day. Upon booking, the couple will have the exclusive opportunity to have their ultimate menu created by Michelin starred Tim Allen, featuring their loved ones most desired dishes and favourite foods. The couple will enjoy their meal with the luxury of privacy in the romantic Chef’s Office, with each course served to them personally by Chef Allen. In addition to this, Launceston Place’s head sommelier will work with the couple to choose the perfect accompanying aperitif and wines to complement the bespoke menu. With a minimum spend price tag of £500, this unique experience is one of London’s most lavish ways to spoil your other half this Valentine’s Day. For more information or to book this bespoke experience contact 020 7937 6912 or email Ruth (ruthb@danddlondon.com). www.launcestonplace-restaurant.co.uk/offer/valentine-s-day-experience/1648

 

LOVE IS IN THE AIR THIS VALENTINE’S DAY AT ZINC
This VALENTINE’S, brand new nightclub Zinc will throw a Valentine’s party where people could find love in the air at the summit of the iconic Centre Point building. Already becoming renowned for its world class DJs playing a unique blend of beach house, melodic, hard house and electro and a 24-hour license, Zinc will host a Valentines’ Party that looks set to be both a musical and visual feast. Guests can enjoy a Valentine’s cocktail, world class DJs and the chance to find love above the clouds!

Love is in the Air at Zinc

Friday 14th February 2014
10pm-4am
£55 per person
East Side tables: £1500
West Side tables: £500
Zinc
Centre Point
101-103 New Oxford Street
London , WC1A 1DD
www.zinc.uk.net

 

Share the love at Benares

 

To celebrate the most romantic day of the year, Benares, Atul Kochhar’s Michelin starred Indian restaurant, will be offering a five course Valentine’s Day menu designed for sharing. Couples will begin their evening with a specially created Champagne cocktail before tucking into dishes such as pan roasted Scottish scallops, ginger and grape dressing, classic tandoori organic free range Suffolk chicken for two, red onion salad, olive and tomato naan and Atul’s re-invented cream roll with strawberries.

 

The Benares Chef’s Table, an exquisite private dining space, is also available for an evening of Valentine’s indulgence. After being welcomed with a glass of Champagne and a special gift from Benares, couples will be treated to a six course tasting menu with perfectly matched wines whilst watching the chefs in action through a glass wall.

 

The Valentine’s Day menu is available on Friday 14th from 6.30pm for £75 per person, or at lunch and before 6.30pm for £50 per person. The Chef’s table package is priced upon enquiry.  www.BenaresRestaurant.com

 

CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY AT THE AMPERSAND HOTEL

Deluxe Studios from £280

Valentine’s Day Afternoon Tea from £32.50 per person

 

A romantic break in London is the ultimate Valentine’s Day gift and a stay at The Ampersand Hotel, South Kensington, is sure to woo loved ones. Guests looking for the wow-factor should book a Deluxe Studio; complete with king size bed, a grand freestanding bath and impressive views of London. With its stunning botanical themed interior, love is sure to bloom.

 

Once settled in, guests can choose to enjoy a Champagne Valentine’s Day Afternoon Tea in the privacy of their guestroom.  The Ampersand Hotel ensures a soupçon of romance is sprinkled throughout the guests’ experience, from the book of love poetry placed in guest rooms to the love note that guests are encouraged to pen to their loved one prior to thestay; left on the guests’ bed as an additional surprise.

 

VALENTINE’S DAY FOR SINGLES

Ensuring that it’s not just couples that have all the fun on Valentine’s Day, The Ampersand Hotel will also be serving Valentine’s Day Afternoon Tea in The Drawing Rooms; perfect for a group of friends.

 

APERO

For a relaxed Valentine’s Day meal, head to Apero and enjoy the delicious sharing menu created by Head Chef Chris Golding. Located in the original 19th century vault below the luxurious décor of The Ampersand Hotel, Apero offers a taste of the Mediterranean with a tempting menu of sharing plates and cocktails.

 

The Ampersand Hotel, 10 Harrington Road, London, SW7 3ER

http://www.ampersandhotel.com/

 

Valentine’s Day Special at Plum + Spilt Milk

Enjoy this Valentine’s Day at Plum + Spilt Milk, located in the renovated and incredibly decadent Great Northern Hotel. Priced at £65 per person, their delicious sharing menu includes a glass of Billecart-Salmon Brut Rose Champagne on arrival, a Native Seafood Platter, 32 Day Aged Beef Wellington and Chocolate Fondue. www.plumandspiltmilk.com/

 

Copa de Cava (located beneath Camino Restaurant Blackfriars)

Enjoy perfect pairings of cava and tapas at Copa de Cava; the UK’s first authentic cava bar, this Valentine’s Day. Priced at £60 per person, their specially designed menu combines six authentic cava’s each carefully paired with accompanying tapas dishes including the Presa Ibérica; a succulent shoulder of rare Ibérico pig, creamy pearl barley, Ibérico ham and Manchego. For anyone with a sweet tooth the Crema Catalana; cinnamon custard foam, crispy caramel and freeze dried raspberry, is the perfect end to a romantic evening. www.camino.uk.com/restaurants/copa-de-cava/

 

Valentine’s Menu at Bonnie Gull Seafood Shack

Celebrate Valentine’s Day at the ‘seaside restaurant in the City’. Priced at £65 per person, Bonnie Gull has created a unique Valentine’s taster menu including champagne and oysters, halibut, venison as well as a selection of sweet treats. To view the full menu and to keep up to date, please follow the team here. www.facebook.com/pages/Bonnie-Gull/202711063100754?fref=ts www.bonniegull.com/

 

HONK IF YOU’RE HORNY THIS VALENTINE’S DAY AT HONKY TONK
Valentine’s day is just around the corner but fear not singletons, Honky Tonk has the answer to all your prayers. This year come and join the singles party on 14th February at both Honky Tonk Chelsea & Honky Tonk Clapham and Honky If You’re Horny! Each table will have a very special cupids horn on it and when you see a certain someone who catches your eye, give it a good squeeze & let them know that they could be your valentine’s this year!

For those attending the party at Honky Tonk Clapham the wheel of fortune will also be transformed into the wheel of love where you can win a shot and other prizes to give to the lucky lady or lad who you may have your eye on. So come down and celebrate Valentine’s day the Honky Tonk way.

Both Honky Tonks are rapidly becoming West London’s destination diners of choice. They offer regular live music and entertainment, with a particular emphasis on a variation of the blues, jazz and rockabilly played over a hundred years ago when the first honky tonks sprung up in the Southern and Southwestern United States.

Honky Tonk Valentine’s day
Friday 14th February 2014

Honky Tonk Chelsea
6 Hollywood Road,
London
SW10 9HY
Tel: 0207 351 1588

Opening Times: Tues- Sat, 6pm-12.30am

Honky Tonk Clapham
16a Clapham Common South Side,
London
SW4 7AB
Tel: 020 7627 6257
W: www.honkytonklondon.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/honkytonk.clapham/
Twitter: @honkytonklondon
Opening Times: Monday-Wednesday 5 pm to 12 pm, Thurs 5pm -1am,
Friday 5pm-1.30 am, Sat 12pm- 2am, Sunday12pm-11.30pm

 

FISHBone pop-up diner at Kensington Place

Inspired by the restaurant’s hit summer menu, Kensington Place in Notting Hill will transform its private dining room into a pop-up diner of the same name this February. Dishes will include a range of ‘fast-fish’ dishes, including Salmon ‘doner’ with pitta, cucumber and yoghurt and Pulled skate with beurre noisette and capers, alongside the classic Scallopdog with brown shrimp and cucumber vierge. White wine sangria, hot and cold sake and a selection of British beers and spirits make up the drinks list. Seating only 36 diners, FISHbone will be a quirky and informal addition to the West London dining scene. www.kensingtonplace-restaurant.co.uk/offer/fishbone-pop-up-coming-soon/1640

 

Get hooked on Angler at South Place Hotel this Valentine’s Day

 

Feed your romance at the Michelin-starred restaurant Angler, located in The City atop the cool and contemporary South Place Hotel, a rose-petal trail away from Liverpool Street station. With stunning views of the London skyline, the award winning Angler is a gourmet dining experience to share with your other half. The restaurant will be serving a decadent Valentine’s Day set menu on Friday 14th and Saturday 15th February, priced at £85 per person, prepared by Executive Chef Tony Fleming. The simple yet sophisticated six course menu will feature the best of British seafood sourced from across the British Isles. The beautifully presented dishes include carpaccio of octopus, served with a salad of squid and mango, with soy and ginger dressing; fillet of brill with ragout of squid, fennel puree and sea purslane; and milk chocolate mousse with blood orange to share.

 

Couples wanting to completely escape can indulge with the “Chef’s View package” which includes dining in Angler’s Chef’s View to watch the skilled team at work, while taking in the venue’s beautiful interiors and signature mirrored ceilings. Guests can tuck into a personalised menu created by Tony himself and take advantage of their own dedicated sommelier for the evening, before staying overnight in South Place Hotel’s luxury Suite 610: a chic open-plan living space filled with design classics and saucy artwork, whilst offering panoramic City views and did we mention the glass bathtub? The offer is priced at £1,370 and also includes a bottle of Moet Champagne on arrival, homemade chocolate truffles and rose petals on the bed at turn down.

http://anglerrestaurant.com/

 

Copa de Cava

 

For true romance this Valentine’s Day, enjoy perfect pairings of cava and tapas at the beautiful Copa de Cava, the UK’s first dedicated cava bar. Priced at £60 per person, their tasting menu carefully matches six of the best cavas from Spain with creative and authentic tapas. From Presa Ibérica and hand carved jamón, to seafood and cheeses, to a deliciously sweet Crema Catalana, you’ll enjoy a romantic voyage of discovery through Spain’s incredible food and wine producing regions.

 

Call 0207 125 0930 or email reservationscopadecava@camino.uk.com to book a table. Copa de Cava is located a minute from Blackfriars station and 5 minutes from St Pauls.

 

Valentine’s Day Special at Plum + Spilt Milk

 

This Valentine’s Day, Plum + Spilt Milk are offering a delicious sharing menu for two priced at £65 per person including a glass of Billecart-Salmon Brut Rosé Champagne on arrival, a Native Seafood Platter, 32 Day Aged Beef Wellington and Chocolate Fondue. Located in the newly renovated and incredibly decadent Great Northern Hotel, it is the perfect setting.

 

http://plumandspiltmilk.com

 

Valentine’s Menu at Bonnie Gull Seafood Shack

 

Celebrate Valentine’s Day at the ‘seaside restaurant in the City’. Priced at £65 per person, Bonnie Gull has created a unique Valentine’s taster menu including champagne and oysters, halibut, venison as well as a selection of sweet treats. To view the full menu and to keep up to date, please follow the team here. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bonnie-Gull/202711063100754?fref=ts

Pont de la Tour – #PontMemories

 

Iconic Butlers Wharf restaurant, Le Pont de la Tour, has started its Valentine’s Day celebrations early, by running a social media campaign called #PontMemories. They are calling for diners past and present to share happy memories of times spent at the restaurant for a chance to win a complimentary glass of champagne over Valentine’s weekend. In addition, one lucky couple will win a complimentary meal. www.lepontdelatour.co.uk

Celebrate Valentine’s Day at Ametsa at The Halkin by COMO

 

Celebrate the most romantic day of the year by treating your other half to an eight course tasting menu at the Michelin starred Ametsa with Arzak Instruction which specialises in exquisite New Basque Cuisine. The set menu is priced at £105 per person, and at £145 per person with matching wines.

 

Couples looking for a more casual way to spend the evening can enjoy “Love Bites”, a selection of Ametsa’s delicious Basque tapas dishes served in the cosy Halkin Bar. Priced at £24.50 per person, the menu includes mini desserts and wine pairings. Ametsa is located in the refined and luxurious Halkin by COMO, in London’s Belgravia. For bookings please contact Ametsa on 020 7333 1234 or email ametsa.thehalkin@comohotels.com. www.comohotels.com/thehalkin/dining/ametsa

 

Shake Shack’s “Valentine”

 

This Valentine’s Day Shake Shack customers will be given a Shake Shack “Valentine” voucher for a complimentary single cup or cone of their legendary frozen custard.

Dense, rich and creamy ice cream, spun fresh daily right at the Shack, the frozen custard can be redeemed on their next visit through to 31st March 2014. Any couples dining on the day will also be offered a complimentary glass of prosecco.  Happy Valentine’s from the team at Shake Shack!

www.shakeshack.co.uk

 

Valentine’s at Vertigo 42

 

This Valentine’s Day couples can enjoy a romantic afternoon tea at London’s highest Champagne bar Vertigo 42. A selection of finger sandwiches, scones and sweet treats can be enjoyed with tea, toasted with a glass of Palmer Rose pink Champagne for £40 per person.

 

Vertigo 42 is also offering a Valentine’s evening package of a bottle of Palmer Rose Champagne, a canapé sharing platter for two and a selection of macaroons. Served with breathtaking views of the City skyline for £150 per couple. http://www.vertigo42.co.uk/

 

The 12 Pitfalls of Christmas And How To Avoid Them

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vivienne_imgWhen a relationship is already struggling , Christmas can intensify that struggle. Instead of being a happy celebratory time, Christmas completely drains the joy. If you are already feeling a little under the strain and under supported, this article is for you.

The 12 pitfalls of Christmas and how to avoid them

 1 Too High An Expectation

We all have the wish for the perfect, romantic moment with the perfect gift when all our Christmas fantasies come true. There is an enormous sense of expectation on the big day and a lot of people aiming for perfection. This quest for perfection and the best Christmas ever can drain us and render both our Christmas and our partner’s efforts a disappointment. We all deserve to be happy and sometimes happiness is best reached when we stop the pressure. High expectations usually only lead to …..

2 Disappointment

The disappointment can be crushing because it feels so symbolic, as though if we are unhappy even at Christmas then we must be fundamentally miserable together. We can feel that “we” as a couple don’t want the same things in life just because “we” don’t want the same things at Christmas.

Perhaps we need to compromise our expectations, agree on how we will spend our time and efforts. “Good enough” can be very happy indeed. Decide to do something lovely for each other, so you both experience your special moment, so that potential disappointments can be curbed this Christmas.

 3 Negative Mindset

If we feel we’ve over-compromised or that we’re taken for granted before we start, then we enter into any conversation with a negative attitude which sets us up to have an argument or to fail in general.

If we look for the negatives and only notice events or things that are less than perfect this can lead to……

4 Over reaction

We all have the ability to massively over react. If we are tense to begin with, then the seemingly small stuff can push us over the edge from calm and composed to tantrum and distress. The number of people that argue over the practicalities of Christmas is probably close to 100%.

One particularly stressful practicality is packing the car. Let’s face it, this is basically an argument in a boot!  Mindset is key when it comes to the arduous errands around Christmas. If you find yourself thinking “what a nightmare all this stuff is” and “no way is it all going to fit into the car” …. Think about this before the day of travel and also turn that around to think “how great that we can give so many presents” and “This is going to be so much fun”.

After all, why spend all this time and energy and money buying the presents if you’re going to complain about packing them and the subsequent journey?

Some people have better spatial awareness than others …. be honest with yourself … how good are you at filling every crevice efficiently?  If the other person insists on doing it, let them get stuck before you wade in with your suggestions.

 5 Who’s rule is it anyway?

Christmas can seem as though it comes with an invisible but very real rule book. This rule book to be based on absolutes about the fundamental questions such as, ‘Who to spend Christmas Day with?’   Often families feel they must spend Christmas together.  Christmas Day seems to be symbolic of family and therefore if you don’t spend it with your family, you feel judged that you aren’t behaving in an accepted way. These emotionally laden rules lead to …..

6 Stress in various relationships

Many couples argue over whose parents’ turn it is to visit, and whose tradition to follow.  It may seem uncharitable and selfish to spend time with people whose company you actually enjoy.
Just because you’ve spent it with one set of people for the past 5 years, doesn’t mean you would be insulting anyone to have a change.  Handling that situation need not be as difficult as you may fear it is.

Family dynamics go into over drive. Various family members can battle over status and following certain traditions can equate to personal victories or be perceived as slights. Siblings can start to regress into squabbles befitting adolescence not middle age!

Everything can feel as though there is a hidden agenda and negative communication; even gift giving can be perceived as point scoring.  Christmas day can be reduced into a competitive battle ground with everyone trying to assert their status, for example, who’s in charge, who carves, whose pudding is better, who wouldn’t have bought the pudding but made it from scratch, whose present is more expensive, better thought out?  Competitiveness creeps in to cause many underlying feelings of guilt and undermining. Christmas is reduced to a series of unpleasant negotiations.

Focusing on how you and your partner really want to spend Christmas in a fashion that will make you truly happy is the key to sidestepping the unpleasantness. Thinking about happiness as the goal of the day and not point proving or following arduous tradition keeps you on the right track.

7  Quest for perfection

Women can often feel that how well they “do” Christmas is symbolic of how much they love and how good a wife and homemaker they are.  Women can end up putting so much pressure on themselves to get it all perfect that they set themselves up to fail, because they become stressed and grumpy therefore less fun to be around. This stress can lead to ….

8  Feeling Overwhelmed

FUN is the point of Christmas for most of us.  So, if the process of preparation drains the joy of the day, then your priorities are misconstrued however well intentioned.

Children and even partners only notice the stress – they don’t know the difference between good enough and perfection. So halve your “to do” list and go without some of the food and events but do what you are doing with a smile and you will enjoy it to and so will they!

9  Feeling Lonely  

Generally, husbands/male partners tend to care and plan somewhat less and the other partner feels “slighted”  or dismissed … that what they want to talk about is irrelevant … and this feeling of being ignored leads to ….

10  A sense of isolation

We can all feel lonely in a crowded room and never more so than at Christmas. This sense of isolation and being on your own with everything can cause stress. You can feel as though you need to take responsibility for Christmas and the emotional wellbeing of everyone and this becomes overwhelming.

Christmas and its scripts can put emotions and relationships into intense mode …. you’re supposed to feel joy and it can work to the contrary by making you feel more lonely, less connected, less valued, more miserable.

Communication is key to avoiding this pitfall. Talk to your partner about what you need to. However, you also need to talk to yourself. Strategize your efforts so that they will pay off and not completely frazzle you. If you don’t get the help you need, do less. Be fair on yourself too so that you don’t feel alone with it all this Christmas.

11  Working too hard

One partner feels taken for granted.  One partner isn’t pulling the same weight in effort as the other.  It feels symbolic that “if my partner doesn’t care as much about Xmas as I do, that means he/she doesn’t love me”. This sense of disproportion within the relationship can lead to….

12  Arguments and Disappointment

Overall, there are high expectations and the whole feeling of pressure to make this the “absolutely perfect family day” … and then add some alcohol to that and emotions quickly rise to the surface causing tension.

So logistic planning is helpful eg who’s going to contribute foodwise/drinkswise/presents …. all of this needs careful discussion beforehand.

Financially, parents tend to spend lots of money on their kids and then that sometimes leaves less for your partner’s present eg combining a Christmas present with a birthday present … it becomes a financial transaction rather than a giving or romantic one.  This is not a positive attitude to present-giving unless fully agreed with the receiver.

It is a very extended time together from eg 10 am – 9pm or even longer when visiting relatives far away which means an overnight stay is included.  So if it’s someone you don’t see regularly because you don’t want to, that too brings huge pressure of interaction to spend 36-48 hours with those people.

If you feel your relationship is coming to an end, then buying presents for the maybe “last Xmas” feels like a death looming.
How to step over these pitfalls

Whatever you decide, make that a positive decision.  Go into the situation with a positive mindset …. set it up to succeed.

Think about it – any time you meet a person who is complaining, down on themselves, or generally miserable, then your heart sinks and you don’t feel so good.

When you are greeted by someone who is smiling, open and interested, you feel their energy and the joy begins.
Prepare as best you can regarding travel logistics, presents without going into huge debt and agreeing who makes the gravy.  Have all the necessary conversations so that everyone’s expectations are met.

If there are still some issues, this is where you have to decide whether you are going to spend time with these people or not.  And if you decide that you are going to be with them, then this is when you decide how you are going to feel and behave.  If you go in with a smile on your face, you will feel happier and your experience will be happier.

We can all survive and even enjoy Christmas 2013!

Mindset is the key to a happy and fun Christmas Day.

Wishing you a happy Christmas Day.

From: Vivienne Goldstein (Relationship Coach) and
Dr Lucy Atcheson (Psychologist)

We hope this article is helpful. If you would like some bespoke therapeutic support for your relationship at one of our workshops supporting women to enhance their relationships please contact us at

Lucy@counsellingpsychologistlondon.com or Viv@viviennegoldstein.com

The Best & Worst Date Movies

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Best & Worst Date MoviesOne third of the nation has admitted to having their first kiss with a new partner in front of a TV, during date night. Love Actually has been voted the nation’s favourite date night movie with 62 per cent agreeing that the classic British film is a winner to get partners in the romantic mood.

The lifestyle study of 2,000 daters, commissioned by TalkTalk TV, found that women wait until the 5th date to suggest a night in front of the TV with men being a little keener and offering it as a 3rd date activity. 1 in 6 people also admitted to feeling awkward and embarrassed if their partner suggests TV with lots of sex scenes or steamy romance.

Comedy was highlighted as being the winning genre with 2/3 of people agreeing a romantic comedy will lead to a successful date but unsurprisingly horror was voted the worst with 55% of people predicting The Exorcist would result in a disastrous date. Careful selection is critical with 1 in 10 people said that a lousy choice of film would be just cause to break up and over 20% of couples asked had argued over their partner’s TV choices.

The research also found that 15% of people have put on a specific film or genre to get a reaction from their partner e.g. rom coms are seen by 2/3 as a sure fire way to get partners feeling romantic.

 

Top 10 best films for a date Top 10 worst films for a date
1.    Love Actually 1. The Exorcist
2.    Notting Hill 2. Schindlers List
3.    Dirty Dancing 3. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
4.    Pretty Woman 4. Nightmare on Elm Street
5.    Bridget Jones’ Diary 5. Star Wars triology
6.    Titanic 6. The Terminator
7.    Forest Gump 7. Die Hard
8.    When Harry Met Sally 8. Spice World
9.    Groundhog Day 9. Basic Instinct
10.  There’s something about Mary 10. American Pie

 

Foreign language films and documentaries were also voted as least likely to incite passion on date night.

Made in Chelsea’s Andy Jordan and Louise Thompson attend charity surfing event in Cornwall

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Surfing world stunned by Surf Challenge for Autism 2013

Fistral Beach in Newquay was brought to a standstill this weekend as a group of autistic surfers took to the water in the Wave Project’s Surf Challenge for autism 2013.

Photograph-by-Andy-Casey---Andy-and-Louise-getting-ready-to-surf

Top-level surfers including former UK champion Russell Winter and 2012 English national champion Hannah Harding were left speechless as they watched as 32 autistic competitors dazzle on the clean 3ft waves.

 

They were joined by around 1500 spectators who gathered in glorious sunshine at Britain’s most famous surfing beach to watch the display.

 

Pro surfer Hannah Harding commented: “People watching just couldn’t believe that these competitors had a disability. They were surfing to such a high standard, it was really great to watch!”

 

The event was funded by the Big Lottery Fund, and delivered almost entirely by volunteers. Around 70 people helped support the event, including celebrity couple Andy Jordan and Louise Thompson, from E4 show Made In Chelsea, and 16 serving Royal Navy officers and junior ratings from RNAS Culdrose.

 

The judges, the contest director and all the paid competition staff waived their fees, while Fistral Surf Hire Company gave out wetsuits free of charge. The event was also supported by Newquay Surf Lifesaving Club, which offered free use of its club house and surf boards.

 

Contest organiser Joe Taylor said: “It was just amazing that so many people came to help support this event to ensure that these young people with autism had their chance to shine. It was wonderful to see so much goodwill from local people, organisations and businesses.”

 

The contest was a truly international event, with competitors coming from Wales and even the Netherlands to take part alongside surfers from the UK. The overall winner of the contest was 13-year old Thomas Koppelaars, from Zaltbommel, in the Netherlands.

 

Speaking on his behalf, his mother Marjolijn Koppelaars said: “We’re just so delighted. This has been the best experience of his life.”

Photograph-by-Dale-Adams---Andy-with-young-boy-surfing-the-waves

Second place went to 18-year old Robert Parton, from Swansea. The other two finalists were last year’s winner Robbie Turner, 16, from St Just and Joe Scammell, 10, from Liskeard in Cornwall.

 

Wave Project director Terry Stanton said: “This event shows just how relevant surfing is to disability sport. We really want to take the Surf Challenge forward now and make it even bigger and better next year.”

 

Big Lottery Fund’s Helen Bullough said: “Events like this are so important, not only in creating opportunities for people with disabilities, but also in challenging people’s perceptions of disability and what’s possible.

 

“It is wonderful that so many spectators came out to enjoy the event and make it such a success. Congratulations and thanks to all involved.”

Chore-dodgers given anonymity: Bring harmony to the home with new ‘covert cleaner’ service

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cleaner
If you and your other half argue about cleaning then Frost magazine has come across something we think is quite cool: covert cleaning.
A recent survey found that 46% of couples that live together argue about cleaning; with nearly 2/3 of all individuals surveyed saying their partner’s cleaning abilities were below average – something start-up service Teddle has turned into a marketing opportunity by creating a new ‘secret service’ that disguises the fact a cleaner has been paid to complete household chores. You can even personalise the clean by adding in your bad habits for them to echo, such as to ‘leave the toilet seat up’ or ‘forget to remove the hairs from the sink’.
Those with an aversion to household chores have today been given a fresh escape from nagging partners by pioneering web service Teddle, which has launched the first ever ‘covert cleaner’ service to clean up conflict over housework. The award-winning start-up, which helps people search for, compare and book trusted cleaners in seconds, is testing the ‘cheeky’ service to prevent arguments in the home by allowing customers to dupe their partners into thinking they have completed the chores personally.

Alex Depledge, co-founder of Teddle commented:

“We have seen a big demand to ‘cover up’ our service and allow users to secretly book a cleaner without detection from partners, housemates and even mothers. We’re here to make life easier, so we thought why not make it easy for people to remove hassle from their lives without any consequences?”

“You always design the clean you want during booking, but now you can make the job seem more authentic by using the Teddle platform to request the cleaner misses out certain elements that make it more believable you completed the work.  The feedback we’ve had is that you can’t have it too perfect, or no one would believe it was you.”

Make the most of your relationship –top ten tips by Sarah Rozenthuler,

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Make the most of your relationship –top ten tips

by Sarah Rozenthuler, author of Life-Changing Conversations

 

Sarah Rozenthuler author of Life-Changing Conversations, 7 strategies for Talking about What Matters Most draws together tools from the field of dialogue, insights from the discipline of psychology and wisdom from a contemporary articulation of spirituality. This potent mix can transform how we talk together and how we act in the world and our lives.

 

As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air. It’s easy to be swept away by the romance—the candlelit dinner, the bunch of fresh blooms, the softly playing music—the “pinkness” of it all. But love has many colours, including some deep and dark hues, so it can also be timely to ask: What does it take to make a relationship work?

 

Our intimate interactions with our beloved can be a source of great joy—and immense stress—in our lives. Whether you want to rekindle some of the magic, heal some hurt or deepen your joy, here are ten top tips for a happy and harmonious relationship.

 

1.    Put that phone away

 

Give your partner some quality time by having a “media break”. Switch off the TV, put down your phone and turn off your tablet. Make your beloved the object of your attention rather than checking your emails. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes, take time to listen to what your partner has to say and then reflect back what you’ve heard.

 

Resist the temptation to interrupt. Let them finish their sentence. Listening receptively is a powerful aphrodisiac that can soften the hardest of hearts.

 

2.    Create a shared vision

 

A long-lasting relationship is all about standing shoulder-to-shoulder, facing the same direction. When a relationship ends, the most painful part is often the loss of shared dreams.

 

To strengthen your bond, create a “vision board” together. Recycle your old magazines by cutting out inspiring images and use these to create a collage. Place it where you can both see it every day so that you consciously “call in” what you want as a couple.

 

3.    Spice up your sex life

 

If the physical side of your relationship has become routine, take a risk and do something different. Go to a sex shop together, do a tantra workshop or join the mile high club.

 

If you’re stuck for ideas, ask your partner for a memory of some great sex they had (with you!) and see what you can learn to re-create some of that excitement. It might be making love in front of an open fire, having sex in the kitchen or taking time to massage each other. Savour the specialness of this side of your relationship.

 

4.    Monitor your mood

 

Be aware that partners are susceptible to absorbing each other’s moods. This can be great when one of you has had a good day but it can be a real downer when one person’s bad day at the office contaminates you both. 

 

To combat the contagious effects of negativity, develop some strategies for shifting state when you’re down in the dumps. Take a five minute walk round the block, sit and watch the sun go down or enjoy taking in the scent of some fresh flowers. Each  of you needs to take responsibility for your own state of being so that your moods become mutually enriching.

 

5.    Have some fun

 

A relationship can be hard work as you each try to find ways to accommodate the other’s needs, wants and desires. Differences of opinion can cause tension and unresolved conflicts can lead to contempt.

 

To counterbalance the heavy lifting, make a mutual commitment to spend time together doing things that you enjoy. Go to the cinema, take a dance class or plan your next holiday. Find things that bring a smile—or even better, some belly laughs—and agree to do these things regularly. Remember that when you fell in love, your inner child felt alive and well. Nurture that part of you and your relationship will reap the rewards.

 

6.    Keep the romance

 

Cherish your partner by doing things that make them feel special. Treat them to something you know they’ll love whether it’s cooking their favourite meal, running a hot bath or playing their favourite track of music.

 

As you go about your day, bookmark memorable moments in your mind to share with your partner when you next see them. It’s the kind of thing you probably did when your love was freshly minted, so bring some of that attentive energy into your relationship now. 

 

7.    Invest in your relationship skills

 

If your relationship has become riddled with tension, get some help. Identify what the core issue is and search out ways to deal with it. If, for example, you have a temper that is toxic to the relationship, book yourself onto an anger management workshop or at the very least read a book such as Beating Anger by Mike Fisher.

 

Expand your communication skills by practising the tools contained in Creating the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix or in my own book, Life-Changing Conversations.  Keeping the air clear and free of past resentments will do wonders for you both.

 

8.    Have some “me” time

 

Although it may sound somewhat paradoxical, it’s important to spend time apart when you’re in coupleland. It’s a tragedy that many people lose themselves in a relationship and feel “less than” they were before—less attractive, less interesting, less fulfilled.

 

To minimise the risk of this, take regular doses of your own company. Do whatever it takes to stay grounded in your own experience whether this is through going for a walk, writing your journal or listening to music. Some breathing space will invigorate your relationship, not least because you’ll have things to share with your partner.

 

9.    Decide how you decide

 

Many a relationship has suffered as a result of one individual making decisions without consulting their partner. It can leave the other person reeling, feeling that their opinion doesn’t matter. Any couple will benefit from having a conversation about how they make decisions together, for example, agreeing up front the sum of money above which a decision must be joint.

 

For significant decisions, agree that you’ll both take time separately to consider the different options and then share your thoughts. Moving from “me” to “we” in this way maximises the likelihood that you’ll reach decisions that take into account each person’s perspective. Finding practical ways of integrating both individual’s needs is a key relationship skill.

 

10.  See the bigger picture

 

Drop your expectations that your partner is there to make you happy. If you’re expecting them to provide you with something you haven’t brought into the relationship yourself, you may be making the biggest mistake of your life. Ask yourself how you can evolve into a bigger version of yourself without demanding anything of your partner.

 

Place what is happening in your relationship into the larger context of how you are growing as an individual. Are you becoming more sensitive, more selfless or more savvy? Staying in touch with the bigger picture will stop you from retreating to your corner and enable you to create a life-enhancing relationship.

 

Sarah Rozenthuler

 

Author of Life-Changing Conversations

 

www.sarahrozenthuler.com

 

Can’t Give You Up – Photos We Can Never Throw Out

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NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP – THOSE PHOTOS WE CAN’T BRING OURSELVES TO GET RID OF

  • ·         43 per cent of Brits keep photographs of former partners

 

Breaking up is hard to do, and while millionairess Tamara Ecclestone has tasked bodyguards with ridding her home of every trace of her love rat ex-boyfriend Omar Khyami, research from Friends Reunited shows many of us can’t bring ourselves to be so cut-throat. The latest findings reveal 21.6 million Brits have held onto photographs of former partners following a break up.

 

Women are more sentimental than men, with 61 per cent claiming they keep the photos as they highlight a part of their life they don’t want to forget, versus 56 per cent of men.  But men may be hiding more from their partners than their other halves realise. One in five men (20%) in a current relationship who have photos of their ex partners say they have hidden photos of an ex fearing disapproval from their new partner, compared to only nine per cent of women.

 

Men also seem to have more weighing on their conscience, as 17 per cent said they ‘sometimes feel guilty about keeping photos of their ex partners’, compared to just 11 per cent of their female counterparts. They may have good reason for this, however, as more than one in ten men who keep photos of their ex partners (12%) admit they still have feelings for their ex, compared to only five percent of women.

 

Corinne Sweet, behavioral psychologist said: “It’s not surprising that nearly half of us keep some kind of visual memento of past partners; a photo generates strong emotions as it unleashes memories of past attachment and times. The main reason people hide their photos (especially men) is probably due to a fear of their current partner’s jealousy, or of evoking comparisons in terms of attractiveness and sexiness, etc.  Emotionally mature partners will be able to accept you have a past love-life.

 

“The point at which people are able to put an ex-partner’s photo away (after a split, divorce or death) is usually the time they are emotionally ready to move on. Yet, it is totally understandable for people to keep photos to remind them of previous loves, as, indeed, these images do form part of our life stories – whether for better or for worse.”

 

Top reasons for keeping photos of ex partners:

  All Men Women
It was part of my life/growing up that I don’t want to forget 59% 56% 61%
They bring back good memories 40% 45% 35%
I don’t like throwing any photos away 37% 38% 36%
They remind me of a special event 24% 22% 25%
I look good in the photos 10% 10% 9%
They make me laugh 10% 8% 11%
I still have feelings for my ex 9% 12% 5%
I think we may get back together one day 2% 3% 1%
So I can use them against him/her one day 1% 2% 1%

 

 

The majority of us (48%) keep these snaps in old photo albums, but others (31%) stash them in cupboards and drawers, or in the attic (12%). Nine per cent of men say they purposely keep the photos in hidden files on their computer.

 

Matt Bushby, Head of Friends Reunited, said: “We all have photos from our past we want to keep; whether we want to share with others, or remain private. Old photos are often the best – they bring back memories and blasts from the pasts, even if we think we’d sometimes prefer to forget! The new Friends Reunited site is the one place you can search, collect and save treasured personal memories, especially old photos that have a special place in our hearts and you make them totally private if you want too!”