Tag Archives: Richard wright

The Wright Wing Part 2

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Disclaimer: Ignore whatever he says. He knows nothing.

 

Warning: This week’s article might get a big heavy so I will punctuate it with jokes

 

This week was meant to be the 150th Anniversary of the London Underground but you know…delays.

 

While it’s not strictly political news BBC this week ran another series of stargazing and asked us all to help explore Mars. I’ve been exploring them for years but I have gallstones now so they’re a bit too fatty to eat now. While we’re on mars right “mars a day helps you work, rest and play” might be the biggest lie in all of advertising history.

 

I like to write my stand up material in the nude…yeah…bare jokes!

 

MP’s in an anonymous survey have stated that they believe they deserve a 32% pay rise. I can almost hear them justifying it by claiming it was less then a 3rd.of a pay rise. In this time of, as we are constantly reminded Mr Chancellor, austerity to suggest a 32% pay rise for yourself is a another blow to the public’s opinion of who you are what you do a MP’s. I don’t have anything funny to about this but it is most certainly a joke. Meanwhile starting salary for people in the police force will be cut £4,000. Wonder if those at the top of the police force will see similar pay cuts. I highly doubt it.

 

A lot of the time new hip hop music gets me annoyed, you know, makes me angry. Thankfully it’s only a Tinnie Tempah.

 

The first portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge has been unveiled. And I have to say that I wasn’t aware Karen Brady was the duchess of Cambridge. Take a look at it again yeah and see I’m right about this.

 

Lord Strathclyde has stood down from his position in the Cabinet. This ends his 25 year run as a part of the Conservative front bench. There are no jokes I can make here. Legally and from a liable point of view there are no jokes to be made here at all. Nothing to do with any sort of criminal investigation currently going on. I have no idea what you think I am a implying here. His friends have said there is no political reason for his departure. And why should I question that. I am sure there isn’t if they say there isn’t. SO obviously there is no joke to be made here. Let’s all move on because clearly, and I want to make this very clear, I am saying nothing about this or anything to do with hotels in north Wales. I do not review hotels in north Wales is what I mean. Clearly there is no connection here at all. Legally I want to make that clear.

 

I don’t know about you but I have an extensive disaster kit prepared at all times now because if even Labrinth is predicting an earthquake then I need to be prepared.

 

And yes that is an old joke but not as old as this one

 

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? Is there any need to chase them? Surely you just find them. Like they don’t move location. Yes they involve moving water but the waterfall itself doesn’t move so there is really no need to warm me no to chase them. Because why would I chase them? Yeah. Current.

 

David Cameron has accused UKIP of containing some pretty odd people. Because The Conservative party is a model or normality Mr Cameron? Pot. Kettle. Kettle. Pot. You get the idea.

 

HMV has gone into administration and I am feeling a little like I’ve lost a friend. I loved HMV and I spent plenty of money in their stores. HMV was like a second home I spent so much time in there. I will miss it. HMV will be a loss and now where do I physically buy DVD’s in the “high street”? Nowhere. Upset is an understatement.

 

Dear David Irvine, get your finger out and start putting an end to these “protests” over the flag. While I don’t agree with Belfast City councils decision to limit the days the flag is flown over Belfast City Council this is not the answer. Mr Irvine, along with other “political leaders” who are linked to organisations like the UVF need to call this off. They need to realise that this will solve nothing and actually makes the case the DUP are trying to make harder.

 

And Finally Nick Clegg has confirmed he will stand as a candidate and seek to be return to parliament at the 2015 General Election. This is apparently news. A man saying that he wishes to continue doing his job is news. A career politician saying he WILL stand for election is news. Surely it would be news if he wasn’t going to stand in 2015. That’s news. And to many Liberal Democrats that would be welcome news.

 

Thanks. Come back next week when I will be taking a look at the evolution of the teapot and how we stored tea before it was invented. (in case you hadn’t figured it out anything I tell you will come up next week never will)

The Wright Wing

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Disclaimer: While this man has an A-Level in Government & Politics (and a degree but it’s in Film so no one really cares) his opinions should essentially be ignored. By everyone. Always. His views are his own and not the opinion of Frost Magazine who like to use logic and reason to form their conclusions. Richard has a natural logic and reason avoidance technique he’s cultivated over the years and now his opinions are largely not worth the air they use to come out of his mouth. Enjoy.

 

Hello. My name is Richard Wright and let’s take a walk with the news.

 

I was talking to a very middle class girl the other day who got a bit upset talking about the colour of the new paint on her bedroom walls….yeah it was totes emulsh!

 

Speaking of bad jokes the Government has announced plans that Obese people on Benefits will have them cut if they refuse exercise. Define exercise please because one of the best ways to lose weight is to walk. And you walk all the time. So are we talking serious exercise? Which isn’t walking while listening to the 1983 Labour Party manifesto. No. That’s very dull exercise. Under the scheme it would be Doctors telling them how to exercise, which I suppose is better then someone who works for the DSS but it’s still not great. The reason this has me quite wound up is I am “technically” obese. I say “technically” I am also obese in reality. I have in the past been obese while claiming benefits. My life right now is changing because i have gallstones so I am on a diet, I am losing weight, at what point could I claim benefits? Is that going to be a dietary goal now? Turn up to weightwatchers and they’ll tell you that you can now claim heating allowance but you’re still a half stone off help with your council tax? I knew there was benefits to working out but this might be taking that idea a little too literally. But hey I’ll take this idea as seriously as Eric Pickles does. Yeah. We all know what I mean by that without having to lower this to the point of Eric Pickles is a tubby tubby man jokes.

 

In other news David Cameron’s attempt to successfully re-boot the Thatcherite franchise of Government seems to be coming into full effect as we are once again at odds with Argentina over the Falklands. Now The Sun, and you know anything can be helped by the addition of the carefully thought out and reasoned approach of The Sun, have weighed in with a rather helpful advertisement in an Argentinean newspaper telling Argentina in a diplomatic and well thought out way to get their “hands off” the Falklands. One of the things Argentina is bringing up in their renewed panties in a twist over the Falklands is a UN Resolution from 1965 saying that we should resolve the dispute. I’m not a diplomatic expert but you might have wanted to have brought that up a bit sooner really. It’s almost as if it’s not really about the UN resolution. It’s almost as if that doesn’t really play a factor and is something to help legitimise their claim. Again, I’m not a diplomatic expert.

 

Just in case it looks like I am only kicking The Conservative Party I am always amazed whenever Nick Clegg decides to “take a stand” on something. It’s like a tiny voiced child shouting from the back of a crowded bar fight that surely fighting isn’t the answer but yet not leaving the bar but handing the people having the bar fight chairs to hit each other with. Being admonished by Nick Clegg is a like when you get told off by a toddler. It’s cute and amusing but you know you can pretty much just ignore it. Nick Clegg has the moral authority of a custard cream. No that’s not quite right. Of a rich tea biscuit. I like custard creams.

 

As for Labour they have said they would offer the long term unemployed, whatever that means, a guaranteed 6 month job if they were in power. That sounds like a great vote winning policy. But wait, don’t go screaming Ed Miliband’s name in passion quite yet. They have also said they could not commit to the scheme if they won the 2015 general election. So this is basically the opposition’s  New Year’s resolution. No one should pay any real notice to it as it would clearly never happen. Just like that gym membership you say you’ll get just in case you loose your job. Apparently this is Labour setting out their idea for what should happen. This is the drunk uncle style of policy making. You know the Uncle who knows exactly how your life should be run. It’s very difficult to take anything Labour do or say seriously as you always get the impression that Ed Miliband is like a temp leader. Like he’s never sure when his contract will be terminated and so therefore isn’t taking the job as seriously as he might do. He also kind of comes across as a work experience leader. As soon as Harriet Harman signs his letter for school he’ll be out of there. Overall I would say the leader of the opposition isn’t really much of a leader but that’s he’s perfect for the current political climate because Labour aren’t really much of an opposition

 

 

That’s it. See you next week when I will be laying out my thoughts for how the story of John Major could be turned into a serious motion picture with Peter Capaldi as John Major, Helena Bonham Carter as Edwina Currie, Rowan Atkinson as John Redwood, Benedict Cumberbatch as Peter Lilley and Stephen Fry as Ken Clarke. More cast details next week. Sadly I wouldn’t be able to use my working title for the John Major film of “Where’s wally?”

 

Disclaimer: He’s rubbish at sticking with these things so you never know you might see him real soon and you might not. Let’s find out.

109 Scenes, 14 Locations, 17 Actors.

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I am finally making a feature film. Since I got my first camera when I was 14 I reckon I am slacking a bit. We have 109 Scenes, 14 Locations and 17 actors so far. It is a mammoth task which started today. We had a brilliant days filming and got quite a few scenes.


Prose & Cons came about when Richard Wright saw me tweet that I wanted to make a film with strong female characters. He handed me a 39 page script that he had written and told me to write the rest. I did. Richard was initially the director of Prose & Cons but we had some artistic differences and he has now left, proving that people can have artistic differences and remain friends afterwards. Richard is now a brilliant comedian making his way around the London circuit.

I am now directing the film with Steve McAleavy. Steve was originally the producer and DOP but his passion made it impossible for him to not direct with me. Steve is still DOP and producer.

Just before I wrote this I worked out the schedule for the film. Sorted out what scenes were filmed, what actors were needed and what props were needed. It is using all of the skills I have acquired during my decade long career.

I also cast the film. Needless to say it is a labour of love and a passion project. I have been turning down work and putting my time and effort into this film and so has Steve. We want to make the best film possible.

We previously did a night shoot in Hayes FM with the lovely Becky Talbot. We have a great cast, the best equipment and, finger’s crossed, it should all go well.

I will keep blogging about the making of the film. In the meantime, check out the trailer below.

The Comedy Autopsy Live : You’d have to be dead to miss it!

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You wish you had something to do on Wednesday the 23rd of May from 7PM to 9:45pm? Well that’s Interesting. And you wish it cost £4? This is getting a bit spooky now. Don’t tell me you wish it could be of a comedic nature? You do wish it could be of a comedic nature? Ok let’s try one more check: You wish it was in Peckham? This is freaky. The Comedy Autopsy Live is a comedy event happening in Peckham at The Last Refuge, it starts at 7PM and ends before 10PM and, even better, costs just £4. This is meant to be.

The Comedy Autopsy Live is a live stand up comedy event which incorporates elements of podcasting to enhance the experience and give the event a unique flavour. This is comedy version 2.0 if you will allow us such over confidence. We take the comedy out of the pub and put it in a chilled environment that will scream “comedy unplugged”. We can promise that if you come along we will make jokes go into your ear-holes that will make laughter come out of your mouth-hole. It will make you laugh. And that’s all comedy is.

Why start a comedy night man London like totally is crawling with comedy nights? Yes that’s a good point not real person. The reason is simple: I want too. What you want more? Is that not a bold enough statement of mission? Fine I actually do have one of those. It can be tough for emerging comedians (people starting out) to get longer sets to develop their skills. That’s where we come in. This isn’t open mic, nor is it for the comedic elite to try out new material. And by comedic elite I mean they get paid. No the comedians who will appear on The Comedy Autopsy Live are ones that the good people at Comedy Autopsy HQ find funny because we’ve seen them and they have made us chuckle till we buckled. Every act that appears is a 100% guarantee laugh out loud….comedian. Sorry thought there was something better coming but I went with the obvious.

But if you want a specific reason to come along then I have one or two for you. For a start Amy Howerska and James Loveridge will be previewing their Edinburgh Festival show for us. That’s right an Edinburgh Festival preview makes us sound and feel like a proper comedy night. The second reason is that we have Sarah Callaghan. Sarah is a very talented comedian who while not only a graduate of the prestigious Second City improv comedy group in Chicago has also appeared on Coach trip. And we here at The Comedy Autopsy are not sure which we are more jealous of.

So May 23rd. The Last Refuge. Peckham. A night of awesome live comedy. Only £4. It would be great to see you there. I’d appreciate it and so would the performers. £4.Got to be worth a shot.

PS: While it’s not in a pub you will still be able to buy alcohol. In case you were wondering.

Why you should enter The Lions Den by Richard Wright

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Tuesday nights aren’t exactly the most rocking night of the week. You don’t ever go “man it’s Tuesday that’s fantastic”. But I have something that might change that for you. I come to you with a proposal. I offer you an evening of fun for only £4. I present to you The Lions Den Comedy Car Crash. Held every Tuesday night at Bar Rumba this comedy night provides a great night of stand up in central London for a very reasonable price. This is where I started out and it is a very friendly night for first timers. Let me tell you more.

 

The Lions Den Comedy Car Crash is an open mic night where you will always get the chance to see comedians taking their first baby steps into the world of Comedy. And that’s not all. You are guaranteed a great MC and a mix of acts with variety of experience. You need to know more? Well, umm, they now have comfy chairs which when you are seeing potentially 25-30 acts is something that matters. The downstairs venue at Bar Rumba provides a nice backdrop for the comedy and there are deals on drinks ordered before 8pm.

 

There are some great reasons to come to the Lions Den. Supporting emerging stand up comedy is encouraging and seeing the future of comedy today. I love playing the Lions Den because it is ran well by good people who care. It is a great, friendly atmosphere and worth every penny of the £4 and more but it’s only £4.

 

So to wrap this up – good MC, acts that are honing their skills, brand new acts taking their first steps and all for the price of £4. You should get down and check it out.

 

Find The Lions Den Comedy Car Crash every Tuesday from 7:00pm at 36 Shaftesbury Avenue, London, W1D, 7EP.

Another day, Another new podcast by Richard Wright

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Podcasts. You either love them or you’ve never listened to them. They are the democratisation of radio on the internet where anyone can create and distribute an audio show of their own all over the world via the internet. That was a mouthful. This is clearly why I’m not a professional writer. But if you could stick with this then I promise to try harder. Ok. Much like podcasting let’s just plug it n and begin. It’s not the future of media anymore it’s the absolute present. With shows like AMC’s Comic Book men becoming a TV show based on the antics of a podcast it’s no longer just a bit of something extra. People like Kevin Smith & Joe Rogan have turned podcasting into an art form and a business. There are a lot of podcasts out there and if you want proof of that just check the itunes store when you have a spare minute. The competition for listeners is fierce and now the landscape of podcasting has another voice. Yes another deluded, well intentioned person giving their opinions like people should care what they think. And the person behind that podcast is…me.

I realise you don’t know who I am and that is perfectly understandable. I am an “emerging” Stand Up comedian and part-time writer and director of films. What films have I made? That is none of your business. What films have you made? See. You can’t answer it either. Unless you did in which cause I haven’t seen it. Unless I have in which case I didn’t enjoy it. Unless I did in which case well done. You see the rambling? That’s my podcast. I co-host with another brand spanking new comedian called Richard Casey and our podcast is called The Comedy Autopsy. I do tend to murder quite a lot of jokes, I’m just starting leave me alone, and so hence the name. We talk about comedy, film, stand up, occasional pro wrestling references no one will get and, if this first episode is anything to go by, pigeons. We are planning live podcasts with a bunch of audience interaction for the live crowd where the shows will include stand up for a very reasonable fee. We are going to have guests to talk comedy and film and maybe even pigeons. The podcast will be out every Thursday and will be roughly speaking an hour long. And you know what the really cool part is? It’s free. That’s right free I tells ya. We know we aren’t the funniest podcast in the world but we are funny enough.

I feel at this point I should introduce you to our technician. His name is Steve and not only is he terrible at his job he is also not real. That’s right. We made up a technician. Why? A number of reasons. Firstly it’s funny. It is. No it is. And secondly so that we can take all the negative things people will say about the podcast and blame Steve. It’s not our fault it’s Steve. On our podcast we will be getting to know the speechless one known as Steve through our section called “Apparently Steve” where we will share facts we know about Steve. If you know Steve then you can hashtag on twitter #ApparentlySteve and we will see those and use them in the podcast. Maybe you drink with Steve, share a hobby, once dated Steve or you know his mum. If you do let us know with the hashtag.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Frost Magazine for this chance to, basically, pimp our podcast in this fine publication. You didn’t have to do and we are happy that you did. Maybe we can work out some kind of sponsorship deal – we’d be very cheap *wink wink*.

(PS: if you have complaints regarding spelling in this article, if you can call it that, then remember it’s all Steve’s fault!)

Prose & Cons Casting and Update

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Prose & Cons update….

So, we are on IMDB! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2014324/ We are really excited now. We are tweaking the script, casting actors, getting ready for a funding blitz. )If you would like to become a producer contact us at frostmagazine@gmail.com)

Lots of people have asked me about casting, and hundreds of people have already applied. I have put a few of the characters we are casting below, but there is more. Feel free to apply, and if you are a filmmaker or actor who has something worthy of being in our film section then email frostmagazine@gmail.com.

The film has no funding at the moment so it is completely a collaboration. No one is getting paid anything, however, if we get funding; you will be paid. I know its annoying but Richard and I are not rich so we can’t fund our own projects.

Thank you!

Company: Run Pictures Film Company

Production Name: Prose and Cons

Production Type: Film (Feature)

Location: London

Salary: Pay depends on whether we get funding!

Production Details: We are doing a feature film, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2014324/ It will be entered into festivals. We are trying to get funding but if we don’t we will be making it for no money, no one will be paid, we have cameras and location, etc, all for free.

We understand if this is not for you, but please realise that if we don get funding, it is not just the actors not getting paid.

Paula: female, artistic, good at writing poetry, agoraphobic, anti-social, melancholic, slightly unstable, has to be okay with not showering everyday and looking a bit dishevelled. We are flexible on age. Gender; female Min Age 29 Max Age 40

Spud: Sarah’s best friend: Description25-35, must be able to drive a car. No exceptions.

Spud (not her real name, she loves potatoes) is a screenwriter about to make it big and go to Hollywood. She is best friends with Sarah. Spud has an on/off thing with Jamie.

Jamie: Male, 25-39, eccentric, slightly dim but warm and loving. Terminally unemployed. Loves Spud.

Two Dog Walker: We need two dog walkers with good comedy reactions for one day filming. Any gender.

Sarah’s Publisher; any gender. 35-45. Literary agent. A little heartless.

George White; Male, 45-55, TV presenter, think Philip Scofield but arrogant. Or any American TV anchor.

Anna Whiteman ; 25-35, Female. TV Anchor/presenter. Presents own TV show with Matt. 25-35.

We have more roles to cast but that’s it for now.

Prose & Cons: A Melancholic Comedy

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After the success of Bridesmaids, a new wave of films with strong female characters are hitting cinema screens. Prose & Cons is a black, melancholic comedy set in the world of artistic frustration and writers block.

Sarah [Played by Catherine Balavage] is one of the new waves of poets. Her book sold millions of copies, but now she hasn’t written anything for over 160 days, and her publisher is getting restless. After an ultimatum from her publisher, and a horrendous poetry reading that went viral on twitter and YouTube, Sarah becomes increasingly desperate for new material. Her actions have far-reaching consequences that will change the lives of all of those around her.

Directed by Richard Wright and produced and written by Richard and Catherine; Prose & Cons is a film about writer’s block, consequences, friends and the resilience of typewriters.

Follow the film on Twitter here: @undersadtears

Here is the directors production diary: http://undersadtears.wordpress.com/

You can keep up to date on Prose & Cons IMDB Page

And more info on Catherine here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2952107/

Released 28th November 2011.