NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP – THOSE PHOTOS WE CAN’T BRING OURSELVES TO GET RID OF
- · 43 per cent of Brits keep photographs of former partners
Breaking up is hard to do, and while millionairess Tamara Ecclestone has tasked bodyguards with ridding her home of every trace of her love rat ex-boyfriend Omar Khyami, research from Friends Reunited shows many of us can’t bring ourselves to be so cut-throat. The latest findings reveal 21.6 million Brits have held onto photographs of former partners following a break up.
Women are more sentimental than men, with 61 per cent claiming they keep the photos as they highlight a part of their life they don’t want to forget, versus 56 per cent of men. But men may be hiding more from their partners than their other halves realise. One in five men (20%) in a current relationship who have photos of their ex partners say they have hidden photos of an ex fearing disapproval from their new partner, compared to only nine per cent of women.
Men also seem to have more weighing on their conscience, as 17 per cent said they ‘sometimes feel guilty about keeping photos of their ex partners’, compared to just 11 per cent of their female counterparts. They may have good reason for this, however, as more than one in ten men who keep photos of their ex partners (12%) admit they still have feelings for their ex, compared to only five percent of women.
Corinne Sweet, behavioral psychologist said: “It’s not surprising that nearly half of us keep some kind of visual memento of past partners; a photo generates strong emotions as it unleashes memories of past attachment and times. The main reason people hide their photos (especially men) is probably due to a fear of their current partner’s jealousy, or of evoking comparisons in terms of attractiveness and sexiness, etc. Emotionally mature partners will be able to accept you have a past love-life.
“The point at which people are able to put an ex-partner’s photo away (after a split, divorce or death) is usually the time they are emotionally ready to move on. Yet, it is totally understandable for people to keep photos to remind them of previous loves, as, indeed, these images do form part of our life stories – whether for better or for worse.”
Top reasons for keeping photos of ex partners:
| All | Men | Women | |
| It was part of my life/growing up that I don’t want to forget | 59% | 56% | 61% |
| They bring back good memories | 40% | 45% | 35% |
| I don’t like throwing any photos away | 37% | 38% | 36% |
| They remind me of a special event | 24% | 22% | 25% |
| I look good in the photos | 10% | 10% | 9% |
| They make me laugh | 10% | 8% | 11% |
| I still have feelings for my ex | 9% | 12% | 5% |
| I think we may get back together one day | 2% | 3% | 1% |
| So I can use them against him/her one day | 1% | 2% | 1% |
The majority of us (48%) keep these snaps in old photo albums, but others (31%) stash them in cupboards and drawers, or in the attic (12%). Nine per cent of men say they purposely keep the photos in hidden files on their computer.
Matt Bushby, Head of Friends Reunited, said: “We all have photos from our past we want to keep; whether we want to share with others, or remain private. Old photos are often the best – they bring back memories and blasts from the pasts, even if we think we’d sometimes prefer to forget! The new Friends Reunited site is the one place you can search, collect and save treasured personal memories, especially old photos that have a special place in our hearts and you make them totally private if you want too!”