When it comes to sexism parenting is rife with it. Women are asked how they juggle having children and a job, men rarely, if ever. Most parenting events for mother are 9-5 Monday-Friday, and the events for men are on a weekend. Because women don’t work, right? Because men don’t look after their own children? It infuriates me. Anyway, on to the case in point. In America President Obama (and he still is, just. Sniff) signed the Bathrooms Accessible in Every Situation Act. It doesn’t cover restaurants yet, but it is a start. America is behind the UK when it comes to maternity leave, and general maternal care, so we should take their lead on this. It is sexism pure and simple. Sexist against men but sometimes women just want a break. There has been times when I have to change our son because my husband can’t go into the ladies room to change him. It is BS. We have to start lobbying our MP and doing what we can. Ask restaurants and other places to have the baby changing in both bathrooms, or a separate one that both parents can go into. There has to be more equality in parenting, and men’s bathrooms having baby changing is a good start.
Tag Archives: sexism
How to Win at Feminism Reductress Interview And Book Review
How did you come up with the idea of Reductress?
Sarah: We were both writing and performing sketch comedy, and realized there was a lack of spaces for women to create comedy for and about us. Then Beth came to me with the idea for a fake women’s magazine, and we were happy to find that nobody had really done it before.
Beth: Yeah, plenty of people had made fun of women’s media before but it felt like there was so much more to cover in a more expansive way.
It is such a smart site and we love the book too, is it easy to come up with new ideas?
Sarah: Yes and no! Comedy is always hard, but fortunately the bizarre nature of women’s media and the internet at large have given us a lot of material to work with.
Beth: Yeah, luckily we have a team of super funny contributors and they’ve had plenty of experience reading women’s media and existing as women in the world to draw on.
What advice to you have for anyone who wants to follow in your path?
Beth: Use your disadvantages to fuel your work. In comedy your frustration is part of your voice.
Sarah: Don’t give up on a good idea. Don’t be afraid to fail. It’s part of the process, and there’s always something to learn from it.
Do you think women’s magazines are damaging to women or helpful?
Sarah: Somewhere in between. Obviously a lot of what Reductress does is comment on the ways in which they have been harmful, but women’s media has definitely made a lot of strides since our mother’s generation.
Beth: Yeah it really depends on the magazine and the writer and the how they’re writing about a given topic. When it’s done in a one-dimensional way that speaks down to women, it’s harmful.
Describe a typical day.
Sarah: Answer emails, post everything on social media, bitch to everyone about whatever’s happening in the news? Order salad. The rest is a salad-eating blur.
Beth: Email, hide my private email server, pump breast milk, write, edit, eat salad furiously.
How do you run the site?
Sarah: Efficiently.
Beth: Girls.
Tell us about writing the book.
Sarah: We wanted to write a book about how women’s media has co-opted feminism. So, we wrote a proposal in early 2015 and got our editor-at-large Anna Drezen on board and we did the thing!
Beth: It was exhausting but fun. Lots of weekends sitting in a Starbucks thinking about the patriarchy.
What is the biggest issue affect women today?
Sarah: I don’t really think there’s one issue, and it definitely depends on which part of the world we’re talking about. In the states, I think the treatment of marginalized women (women of color, transwomen) and lack of representation overall is a huge issue.
Beth: If you mean biggest in terms of how many people it affects, I think subtle sexism is really insidious, but if biggest means most serious, then I think reproductive rights and the maternity leave policies are huge in the impact they can have on women’s lives.
What’s next?
Sarah: We’ve got some things cooking! For now, check out our podcast, Mouth Time!
Beth: We’re gonna go eat more salad!
How to Win at Feminism is an awesome and original satirical book on feminism written by the subversive women’s magazine Reductress. Which is read by an audience of over 2.5 visitors a month. It will make you laugh out loud and nod your head in agreement.
UK and Commonwealth rights were bought by HQ Senior Commissioning Editor, Anna Baggaley, from Harper One in the US.
Beth Newell and Sarah Pappalardo, the authors of How to Win at Feminism, said: “we are excited to bring our book to the UK and hope that British readers will enjoy it half as much as they do Pippa Middleton’s bum!”
Anna Baggaley said: “As someone who is been a huge fan of Reductress and their sharp observational comedy for a while I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to publish such a funny, wry and necessary book”
Filled with tongue in cheek humour, colour illustrations, bold graphics, and hilarious photos, How to Win at Feminism teaches readers how to battle the patriarchy better than everybody else. From the her-story of feminism to how to apologise for having it all, and by using celebrity studies such as Beyoncé and Taylor Swift, How to Win at Feminism is a fresh take on women’s rights through the lens of some of funniest women in comedy today.
How to Win at Feminism is out now in paperback original £12.99 and ebook £9.99.
The Art of Feminism by Reductress is published by HarperCollins.
“Reductress has discovered a rich, deep seam of comedy.”
Graham Linehan, co-writer of Father Ted, Black Books and The IT Crowd
“People say women can’t be funny. WRONG… I love Reductress.”
Sam Bain, writer of Peep Show
Reductress is a fast-growing satirical website that delivers mischievously hilarious, on-point criticism wrapped in hilarious headlines and feature articles. Referred to as the “feminist Onion,” it pokes fun at the messages fed to women from an early age and throughout adulthood. Since its creation in 2013, it has exploded in popularity, with over 2.5 million monthly visitors. Reductress was founded by Beth Newell and Sarah Pappalardo, the authors of this book.
Shocking New Study Reveals Overwhelming Sexism in TV & Film Ads
Women may be fighting for equality but there is still a long way to go. TV, cinema and online adverts are overwhelmingly biased against women, with men appearing on screen FOUR times more than women, and men speaking SEVEN times more than women, according to groundbreaking new research.
The study by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media – founded by the Thelma and Louise star – and ad agency JWT New York, looked at more than 2,000 ads from over the last 10 years to get the results.
The report, released at the 2017 Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity – the biggest global event in the advertising world – also found:
· Women are twice more likely than men to be shown partially or fully nude.
· There are twice as many male characters in ads than female characters.
· 25% of ads feature men only, while only 5% of ads feature women only.
· 18% of ads feature only male voices, while less than 3% of ads featuring female voices only.
· Women in ads are mostly in their 20s while men are in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
· Men are almost twice as likely to be funny than women.
· One in 10 female characters are shown in sexually revealing clothing – six times the number of male characters.
· Men are 62% more likely to be shown as intelligent.
· Women are 48% more likely to be shown in the kitchen while men are 50% more likely to be shown at a sporting event.
· One in three men are shown to have a job compared to one in four women.
The researchers concluded that female presence and portrayal in ads has not changed or improved for more than a decade, from 2006 to this day.
The report, called Unpacking Gender Bias in Advertising, examined a decade’s worth of winners and entries to the Cannes Lions Awards – the Oscars of the ad industry – using automation to analyse the split between men and women.
It aims at raising awareness of explicit and implicit gender bias in advertising, and its powerful ripple effects in the world.
Madeline Di Nonno, CEO of the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, said: “By changing the narrative, the images we use, the stories we tell about women, we can dramatically change the way the world values women and how women and girls see themselves. It’s not enough to portray more women. We need a more progressive and inclusive representation of women.”
Brent Choi, Chief Creative Officer, J. Walter Thompson New York: “What this research shows is that our industry has tent-pole moments, amazing actions or campaigns when we all rally around women, but when it comes to creating our ‘regular’ ads for our ‘regular’ clients, we forget about them.”
The research from The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media at Mount Saint Mary’s University and J. Walter Thompson New York, in collaboration with University of Southern California’s Viterbi School of Engineering, analysed more than 2,000 films from the Cannes Lions archive (English language only).
Debra Messing ‘Pressured’ to Go Nude in A Walk in the Clouds
Debra Messing has revealed she was “pressured” to shoot a nude scene in 1995 film A Walk in the Clouds by the director Alfonso Arau and the film’s producers.
The Will & Grace star starred opposite Keanu Reeves in the film, it was her first major film and was not a pleasant experience. She also said that she contacted her agent about the directors request and was then informed she would likely be fired if she said no.
She went on to say that she was berated after approaching Arau about the scene. “Your job is to get naked and to say the lines. That’s it,” he reportedly said. When the time came to film the scene the filmmaker made her feel uncomfortable “He lifts (the sheet up), scans my naked body, then drops the sheet on top of me like a used Kleenex,” she said at the MAKERS conference in California, “He walks away without a word…The whole thing was a power play, a game. And the goal, to demean me, to strip me of my power and make me feel on a cellular level his dominance over me.”
In the end only her back was exposed in the film. The 48-year-old actress also reportedly had issues with Alfonso after he berated her for how she looked.
“How quickly can we get a plastic surgeon in here’, ‘Her nose is ruining my movie! I can’t do this! Look at this!”‘ Alfonso reportedly said.
Messing was “frozen, horrified, mortified” and “felt deep shame” about her Jewish heritage after his comments.
MumsThread: No, Women Can Not Have It All By Getting Up An Hour Earlier
First it was in the papers. Then it was in some magazines. Of course, it was in the Daily Mail. It was sexism and bullshit dressed up as self-help. It said that women can have it all if they just get up an hour earlier. Much like a lot of self help: it was geared towards women to let them know that they weren’t good enough. That they weren’t working hard enough, that nothing they give is enough. Because, ladies, we should all be getting up an hour earlier. The leading story on The Daily Mail earlier today was a group of slim, successful working mothers who all get up at 4am. For quality time, to exercise, to work. Well I have had enough. You know what women really need? More sleep. I already work to 1am most nights, I don’t need to cut off hours at the other end.
Now, getting up earlier isn’t necessarily bad advice, but I take umbrage at it being marketed to working mothers. To any woman actually. Now, nothing happens in a vacuum. This started when author Samantha Ettus claimed to have come up with the formula to living a guilt-free and fulfilling life in her new book The Pie Life. I haven’t read the book, and getting up earlier IS a good way to get more done. But it doesn’t fit everyone and too many publications have taken it and used it as a stick to beat women with. Sleep is important for health, and if you are tired you will be less alert. I get more done when I have had a good nights sleep, I am sure you do too.
The truth is, no one gets to have it all and the bigger truth is that it would take more than an extra hour for me to fit it all in enough to have it all. What working mothers really need is for daddy to help out more. Or a nanny, a cook, and a cleaner. I am not saying that men don’t do their fair share, but I would like articles to point this out more: that a child has two parents and that mum needs a break sometimes. Working smarter is better than working harder. I get hardly any sleep as it is and there is no way in hell I am letting anyone take that away from me. So sleep ladies. Sleep until the baby/toddler/child wakes you up, and if it is a weekend, make sure you hand them over to daddy for an extra 10 minutes.
Pink Parcel Review: The Parcel That Every Woman Needs On Her Period
One of the perks of being the editor of Frost is coming across great things. And Pink Parcel is a great thing indeed. Not only do they send you a box of sanitary protection, but the box also has other great stuff to make your period a much better experience. Chocolate, make up, candles…it really does perk you up when you open the box.
It is easy to set up, you choose your brand of tampons and pads, select your dates, and then your parcel is sent to you. The first one is £6.99 and then they are £10.50 from then on, including postage and packaging. Each parcel contains the following: tea, tampons, pads, something sweet and a beauty product. It will also contain deals and offers. The September box had a £60 nakedwines.com voucher and a postcard featuring a quote from Amy Schumer. There is also a booklet which tells you all about the products in your box, along with some other fun stuff.
The box hits all the right spots: tea, because it makes the world go round, something sweet to help with the cravings, and a beauty product so you can take some time out to pamper yourself. The tampons and pads will be your favourite brands too. The September box (pictures above) has a great eye gel from AA Skincare- it’s vegan and full size, a Cotswold Lavender Slumber SprayNew CID Cosmetics I-Glow Mini and Schwarzkopf Bonacure Colour-Freeze Shampoo. Add in a relax tea light set, Nairn’s Oat Crackers, some Cuppanut Coconut & Cranberry Infusion tea and an Ombar Centres Coconut & Vanilla bar. Yum. A lot of thought has been put into Pink Parcel. That is clear from everything, but particularly the way the tampons and pads are set out. The light ones are in a velvet pouch which it tells you to keep on you for now. Then it has some day one and some night ones. All in different compartments. Genius. I love Pink Parcel and I think you would to. It helps make a difficult time of the month much easier and we deserve that.
Some news from a swimming pool in Georgia. A woman got banned from swimming because she was on her period.
A leisure centre hit the headlines last month after banning women from swimming when they are on their period.
The fitness club in Georgia put up posters warning women to avoid the pool while menstruating, claiming it was a threat to public hygiene.
When confronted over their misogynist actions, the Vake Swimming Pool and Fitness Club which is based in Georgia’s capital city, Tbilisi, justified the ban by saying, “We’ve had incidents where we’ve found tampons in the pool.”
As the backlash grew, a number of disgruntled female customers took to social media to protest.
One customer expressed her disgust on Facebook. Sophie Tabatadze wrote, “Do you even realise how offensive that is? And, by the way, since according to your rules we are not allowed to use a swimming a pool 5-6 days each month, do we a preferential price compared with men?”
Incredibly, the club, which is one of the most exclusive places to workout in the city, responded by refusing to back down.
They said, “Our statement is not sexist and has a preventive objective. We had a case, when the water was contaminated. We try to follow norms of hygiene and we ask our members to do the same.”
The club told Buzzfeed its policy had been in place for years.
However medical advice directly contradicts the club’s claims that taking a dip while you’re menstruating is unclean and NHS direct actually recommends gentle swimming as a way of relieving painful cramps.
Pink Parcel wants women to engage in positive dialogues surrounding their periods, not ostracise them into thinking that they need to be ashamed or embarrassed of such a natural function.
MumsThread On The Motherhood Penalty: Can Only Men Have it All?
There has been a lot in the media about the Motherhood Penalty so I felt I had to give my opinion on it. The truth is, it exists. As for the next question in the title: can only men have it all? Mostly. Yes, I know. It isn’t fair and it certainly is sexist, but having a child affects a women’s career much more than a man’s. Now there are exceptions to the rule, and the number of stay-at-home dads is growing, but childcare is still widely seen as a women’s issue. And that’s wrong. Women get the motherhood penalty but men get the daddy bonus.
It is not that women can’t have it all. You can, but it’s really hard. Mostly it is just that they can’t have it all at the same time. Parenthood requires sacrifice. The sacrifice comes from both genders, but weighs heavier on the female. Since my husband and I had our son his career has gone from strength-to-strength, he gets to go out occasionally and even gets invited to award ceremonies because he has a permanent unpaid babysitter at home. In contrast, my life now resembles almost nothing of its predecessor because I don’t. I have given up numerous opportunities because I could not juggle them with my child. Somedays I get no work done at all. Other days I just stare at my son while he plays thinking about how the hell I can be a good mother to him, run a business and be an author and freelance writer. Because, and it pains me to say this, sometimes I can’t. Something has got to give, and usually it is my hobbies, social life, and career. My husband still has the bones of his old life. Only his evenings and weekends are different, my old life on the other hand was obliterated. My son is worth it of course, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes miss the person I used to be and the life I used to have. I wrote about this subject before I had my son and while I still think women can do whatever they want with their lives, it is harder for them.
I could put my child into a nursery of course. But let’s not kid ourselves, that is not having it all either. There is nothing wrong with it. I have female friends who ended their maternity leave early because they said they could not take being at home with a baby all day. Being at home with a baby all day is hard and I don’t judge. Good for her, not for me. There is also the cost of childcare, which is extortionate. The nursery next to us cost £93 a day. A DAY! Who can afford that?
I read in the Metro that 2 out of every 3 women with pre-school children are locked out of work. I was fired twice when I was pregnant, and many other promises amounted to nothing when my pregnancy became public knowledge. It upset me then and it upsets me now. There are generations of women who had so much to offer the world, but maternity discrimination put paid to that. It is no surprise that the “mumpreneur” industry is so huge. And you only have to look at what mumpreneurs are doing to know that there are not the ones missing out, the people who forced them out of work are. I recently saw the amazing Diane Keaton film Baby Boom. It was made in 1987 but is just as relevant today. It is on netflix.com so do watch it. In the beginning Diane Keaton’s boss tells her that only men get to have it all, but in the end she starts her own business and becomes a mother. She really does get to have it all.
I know many of friends who aren’t even thinking of having children but are married and “of an age” so are discriminated against. I think maternity leave should apply to both sexes. Then women cannot be the only ones discriminated against. It is a thought. I might not work, but something has to be done. Whether by women who start their own business, by making sure that men are not discriminated against for wanting to stay at home, or by a change in the law, we need to keep doing whatever we can. Not just for ourselves, but for our daughters and sons too.
MumsThread: On The Importance of Work When You Become a Mother
Out of all of the truisms, few are more true as when you choose a job, you choose a lifestyle. This was never more true when I first became an actor many moons ago (at one point I had three survival jobs. A day one, an evening one and a weekend one), or when I had a corporate job that paid absurdly well, but made me unhappy because it felt like my creative soul was dying.
Now I have a child lifestyle is important. I have been self employed and freelance for about six years now. And it is wonderful and awful, easy and hard. The truth is: I have worked harder and had tougher work conditions as my own boss than in any other. Frequently not allowing myself breaks, chaining myself to my desk as I just churn the work out. But having my son last year resulted in changes. Mostly because I fell head over heels in love with him, and I will never be the same again. It has required sacrifices, and sometimes those sacrifices are that I get barely any work done at all. Those days are the toughest. I have turned down a lot of great opportunities and my acting career is on the back burner, but I know that the privilege of seeing my son grow up is bigger than anything else. It was always important to me that my son was raised by at least one of his parents. It’s not a judgment call, all power to nannies and nurseries. In fact, I wish I could afford a live-in nanny, or a night nanny. Oh what heaven that would be.
But what I didn’t bargain on was how much I love working. Even the worst job I had brought something good with it: money, a reason to get out of bed, meeting people, a sense of worth. I am not saying I want to go back to those awful jobs, but work gives you identity and freedom. It means you are contributing to society. All of these are things that are very important. Even more so when you have a child and otherwise you just feel like someone’s mother and someone’s wife. I am not slamming being a housewife. It is as valid a choice as any. But I know myself, I need to work, and times where I can’t fit my work in due to childcare/a sick child/ a problem with the flat leaves me with a void. I also believe that a woman needs something for herself, even if it is just a hobby. Women tend to sacrifice themselves and it is unhealthy. Not just for the mother, but all the family. I would love to share childcare 50/50 with my husband, but he works in finance and that is just not possible. So some days I will write an article on my iPhone in the playpen with the baby, I will work on my book as much as possible when the baby finally naps. It has taught me to work smarter, not harder. To be quicker. But the thing having a child has most taught me is quality of life. I no longer chain myself to my desk. I say no to things. Because I have something which gives me more joy than anything else: my son’s face. Even on my hardest day he gives me joy. He has taught me that life is more important than work. I would constantly burn myself out before he came along, now I know that I just have to do what I can and that I am enough. I should be proud of my achievements. On the flip side, I got irritated when a lot of people asked if I would still work after I had a baby, and when I see an article on “selfish” mothers going out to work. I mean, God forbid a women wants to have a career and professional fulfilment. Y’now, like men get to do. No one ever asked a man how he juggles work with having children. The other thing is money: how many households can really survive on one income?
Many women do not get to see their babies grow up. They have to go out and work. I can earn a living as a freelancer and that is a huge achievement. I know I have the best of both worlds, even if I have to bribe the baby with Disney cartoons while I work. It was Sheryl Sandberg who said there is no such thing as work/life balance. There is just life and work and there is no balance. She is a wise woman. As long as I am kind to myself and get everything done eventually I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.