I thought my hand eye co-ordination was bad but these doggies take the biscuit! (see what I did there?)
Even though they get escalators completely wrong they do it in the cutest and most hilarious way… take a looksie.
Tag Archives: Silly
Smut {Ceri's Column}
People-watching and eave’s dropping are things I should do more often. These border-line peeping-Tomish pastimes often yield little snippets of gold…hold on, what the fuck is a “snippet of gold”? Is that possible? Am I mixing my damn turns of phrase again… anyway; it’s a great tool for a comedy writer. I try not to look suspicious or blatant or paedophilic when engaging in this important activity. Just the other day I was inadvertently listening to a most wonderful moment.
I was busy loitering in the park, pretending to read a newspaper. I spied a gentleman speaking on his mobile phone. It was clamped so tightly to his ear hole that he must have booked a one way ticket to brain tumourville. He was deeply embroiled in a spat with his significant other. I think her name was Melanie…shit man, he said “Mel”…could’ve been Melville. That doesn’t matter.
“No. No. Look I…no, you’re twisting my words, Mel. Now you’re just lying, for Christ’s sake! Look, she doesn’t even come by anymore. She said her hours have changed and I just don’t see her. No, I do not have her number. So what if she’s pretty? Oh my god, YOU just said she was pretty! Don’t get fucked off just because I agreed you stupid idiot.”
There was a pause
“Did you come? Cool. See you after work.”
After I was done sniggering, I thought, “Hang on, he’s in a park. What is he a ranger?” As he got up to walk passed me, I saw a badge on his shirt confirming this. Shit.
by Ceri Phillips
Downward Facing Cat {Miscuit Tin}
The downward facing dog cat is not a yoga pose I’d personally chose to do whilst precariously perched on a balcony ledge. That doesn’t deter this chilled kitten… Kawaii!!!!
Google Scribe wrote this for me {Technology}
Google labs have been busy building their new toys so that us lot can spend more time doing fun stuff. Their latest offering is Google Scribe. Scribe automatically completes text so that you don’t have to. Sort of like the text prediction feature on mobile phones.
This entire article has been written entirely using Google Scribe which ironically enough, never suggests itself.
This probably reflects why the article has no structure and feels slightly out of character. Great fun tool if you’re stuck for words or if there’s something on the tip of your tongue. It does’t know as much slang or grammar as our writers yet so I won’t be replacing them anytime soon.
If you have a go then let us know what random sentences you get in the comments section.
Ceri: Portrait of an Inadvertent Killer {Ceri's Column}
I killed the most beautiful butterfly today. Wow, that sentence makes my look like a soon-to-be serial killer. I didn’t mean to. It was fluttering along, maybe trying to find a new home, maybe trying to find a mate. Probably just fluttering aimlessly. The problem was, it was fluttering 1.5 meters above the M4 motorway.
I wasn’t fluttering. I was moving at a positively super-sonic pace (late for some bollocks, again). I was also encased in my 2 tonnes of steel and fibreglass and whatever the hell they make the cup-holder from.
The colourful mass left on my windscreen really was horrific. I mean, it was like the aftermath of a clown’s suicide jump…I assume. Fragments of red and yellow wing were still visible through the dark gunk, (butterfly lung, ass and uvula).
My next action, on reflection, was quite sick when you think about it…and you have nothing else to do. I pulled a tiny lever and the corpse was washed away in an instance. The remnants of such a beautiful little creature treated as equal to fluff, stains and those bits of crap that get in the way of our otherwise squeaky clean world. I’m a killer. I’m a bastard.
I mean, I couldn’t avoid killing it. The insurance folk wouldn’t accept “I swerved into the tanker to avoid a butterfly” as a valid reason to write off my car and maybe write off a limb or two. But my reaction, or lack of, makes me a killer. And a bastard.
But that spider I Hoovered deserved it. I hope the fucker rots in spider hell…great, now I’ll dream of being in spider hell tonight.
Shitter.
by Ceri Phillips
Puts the Aww in Koala {Miscuity}
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Look at his little ears wiggle around!!! So cute!!
Rounding up the Week {Miscuity}
I hope you’re having a lovely day, here’s some of the weeks best thingummies to distract you from work. Hope you enjoy them.
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Slime mould that makes decisions like humans.
Brainless single cell organism that makes decisions like humans, read the full article here, then go and watch some disturbing videos.
The best quitting story of the week.
Stephen Slater quit his job at JetBlue after launching into a tirade, grabbing a can and jettisoning down the emergency ramp. We’ve all had days like that.
The other quitting story…
When Jennifer the PA quit her job using a dry wipe board and 33 photos outting her boss for playing farmville everyone thought “wow that’s amazing because no one would ever do that”. It turned out no one ever did do that and it was a hoax all along. The actress playing Jenny turned out to be Elyse Porterfield who applied for the role through Actors Access.
Freak storm in Finland ruins a lovely day within seconds.
Watch out for the scary face at 00:56 and all the birds deciding they’ve had enough. [via Boing Boing]
Dear Donovan {DONOVAN}
Dear Donovan
Who was your first kiss and what was her name
Darren, Ipswich
Well, Darren Ipswich, if that is infact your real name, and not one of the editors taking pity on the fact no one askes me questions anymore and have written the most pathetic Miss Magazine style question aimed at the likes of Chico and the Eyebrow-With-Legs from Busted!
I will humor you, girls and answer it anyway
A girl called Jenny, I was 4 she was 6…We tongued each other in the school yard at my primary school. Ill be honest she was minging.
Looking back there were at least three others who were better looking playing hopscotch.
Happy??
Expected more of an answer?….Well tough.
I would like to bring to your attention the fact there were Siamese twins in my primary school!…should have really gone for one of ’em! Practically a threesome!
Fact- an upside to being a Siamese twin is that you never have to worry over who’s gonna be your partner on school trips.
That’s me done.
Off to watch the three amigos.
DONOVAN